Topic du jour...outing

[Lorileah]

I am no longer closeted to virtually anyone I know.

I have been suppressing it to the majority of the veteran's club I belong to but my closest friends knew (look back about 7 months ago about going to karaoke....). This has been a subject of slight jabs and innuendos since then. All in good fun. But I still kept it quiet because there are a certain number of people in the club who I don't think would understand.

NB, yes I know we are often wrong about that but still I don't feel like rocking the boat at this time

Last night though one of my friends, a woman, was telling everyone at the bar about how I helped her find some ballroom dancing shoes and how I had such wonderful taste and...how great my legs looked in heels :eek:

I have tended bar at this club before and the main bartender is a "Guy" guy. He talks about guy things all the time. I was reticent to expose my "secret" to him (like it was a secret...the day after I walked into karaoke I am sure most people in the club knew). But now I was caught. I showed him my photos, he liked them (wasn't overly exuberant but he smiled and nodded at each one). I thought, "well that is out now, maybe I can tend bar again but wear something besides black slacks" :D

I went back to my group at the table when the bar tender came over maybe an hour later.

"Can I ask you a question?" Oh oh. I thought, well he thought about it and now would be the classics. I am willing to answer anything people ask just to clarify the TG community so...

"______ said you were a 'T'. I don't think you are a 'T'" That was new. Everyone here knows the nomenclature and we still argue it all the time (Marleena...here is a combo of the Outed thread and the Label thread).

"I am a 'T'" I told him. That confused him so I continued, "What do you think a 'T' is?"

He whispered "Transvestite." I almost laughed. In my world a Transvestite is not what I am...but we won't go there. I tried to explain the big picture of everyone under one giant umbrella with unicorns and rainbows and all is wonderful...didn't work. So I just said "what do you think I am ?"

"Crossdresser." Ok we will go with that. Glad it wasn't Drag Queen ;) I did tell him that I was a "T" as in transgender and probably on the scale...transsexual. That didn't even scare him. I said I had tried to keep it a secret from him a long time but he just smiled and said "I have known over a year." That would be 3-4 months before I ever physically came out to anyone in the club. Bartenders notice things and the good part... they keep it to themselves

[ArleneRaquel]

Lorileah,
Great post, thank you for sharing. :):hugs::thumbsup:

[Beverley Sims]

Outing does appear to be topic of the day at the moment.
I wonder what the next topic du jour will be. :)

[outhiking]

Nicely handled. Thanks from all of us.

[Kate Simmons]

That's one reason we always take good care of our bartenders when getting drinks Lori.;) I know you are pretty much out as I did see your profile on FB. I'm back on there as Ericka Richards. Have a lot of great new TG friends now also. I'm happy you are good with everything my friend.:)

[reb.femme]

Hi Lorileah,

You just never can tell how people will react, I even manage to surprise myself sometimes.
The Service Industry (if I can call it that) generally attracts the 'people person' so perhaps it is no surprise that he was so totally aware.

Nice outcome though.

Reb

[kimdl93]

Darn it, Lori, I knew it. You just confirmed my lifelong paranoia about giving of some sort of TG vibe. I guess I should take solace in the fact that I didn't frequent bars all that much.

[EllenJo]

What a great outcome. It was awesome how you handled it.

[Cynthia Anne]

Great story Lorileah! Life is great when there's no hiding! Proud of you!

[KellyJameson]

Nice story Lorileah

It would be interesting to know what a transvestite is to him and where he learned the concept from.

[Leah Lynn]

Sounds like a sweet guy. Now I'm more determined than ever to move to Denver. Have been thinking about it for years. My previous company had an office in Brighton. Love the area.

[Diversity]

Hi Lorileah,
Good post and thank you very much for sharing this. I admire your courage and your posts are always full of insight and informative. They are enjoyable to read. Keep 'em coming.... :)
Di

[NathalieX66]

Great story.

Nearly everyone in my life knows this side of me, except the people at work. And the people at work notice my hair that brushes my shoulders, the beard that has been reduced by laser, and the pierced ears, and i still get along with my boss & co-workers. I'll let them figure it out.

[Marleena]

Lorileah, sometimes I think the only ones we are fooling is ourselves. I know that's true for me anyways. It's good that you had a chance to explain to him where you are on the TG scale though. The uneducated about us usually only know the stereotypes.

[DianeDeBris]

Hooray for another big step forward, Lori!

[GeminaRenee]

Great story Lorileah, thanks for sharing! It's always nice to hear a positive tale about an outing... gives hope to the rest of us that still have a lot of those bridges yet to cross.

[PretzelGirl]

I thought, "well that is out now, maybe I can tend bar again but wear something besides black slacks" :D

Now there are advantages to coming out! I would go easy on him the first time. Try to keep his eyes in their sockets.