OMG - Could it be True ?

[ArleneRaquel]

A few minutes I went to get my mail, I was dressed as follows,red shorts,brand new btw, purple top, nude pantyhose, blonde hair, red lips, full make up with red cheeks, femmy black cat's eye glasses, and pewter & black wedges. Out of the blue my homophobic next door neighbor appears and says, " You look good today ":eek:. I still know what to make of his comments, but I do love compliments,

[Jamie Christopher]

I'm sure you did look great, what's not to like?

Jamie

[ArleneRaquel]

Jamie,
Thank you darlin for the kind words, they are much appreciated. This neighbor. in the past has called " a spiritual f*g ", he doesn't like people who are not like himself.

[Wildaboutheels]

You seem to "know" he is homophobic. Probably based on conversations? No way to know WHY he is homophobic unless you ask him. But a compliment is a compliment.

Maybe he is simply Ignorant on the subjet of Gay people and what makes them tick but is also sharp enough not to assume that how someone dresses indicates they are Gay?Maybe he is just one of those RARE individuals who somehow has "seen the light" and has changed his mind?

Would be great to hear the rest of your story if something else transpires.

[Debra Russell]

Did he recognize you as a cd or as a good looking lady? or just being sarcastic? either way except it for what it was -- a compliment. Hope all goes well.......................Debra

[ArleneRaquel]

Wildaboutheels,
He first met me when I was a day or two from moving in and I was in drab. In our first conversation he was spouting all kinds of racial/ethics slurs aimed at the apartment complex's help. then he caught himself realizing that may be a member of one of the groups that he was ranting about. About 4-5 weeks later he spotted me enfemme doing outside clean up, I was washing my windows, the same day he spotted me going to the laundry room, and complained to the management, they knew of my lifestyle and they told me just be careful, anyway I hear him use that f*g term in regard to me, say I know he is an ass.


Did he recognize you as a cd or as a good looking lady? or just being sarcastic? either way except it for what it was -- a compliment. Hope all goes well.......................Debra

Debra,
He knows that I am a man. Thank you for the compliment......good looking lady.

[Thera Home]

then he caught himself realizing that may be a member of one of the groups that he was ranting about.


This guy sounds like he's a total Burnout:loser:
You need to keep you guard up when around this fruitcake, someday he may wig on you and then you'll need to set him straight.:bigsmack:

Thera

[ArleneRaquel]

Thera,
Thank you for the advice.

[Marleena]

I bet you did look good today. Maybe he just liked your fashion choices better today.:)

[ArleneRaquel]

I bet you did look good today. Maybe he just liked your fashion choices better today.:)

Maybe so darlin. I know that he did recognize moi. :o

[CONSUELO]

The best replies always come to mind later. You should have said, "and I feel great too, Thanks"

[ArleneRaquel]

What was the tone in his comment? Sarcastic?, an emphasis on GOOD?
I know what f*g is.....but what in the heck does he mean by a SPIRITUAL (I am a Spiritual person) f*g????
That's a new one on me.

Anywho-I am sorry that happened to you. Sounds homophobic to me, and perhaps is ATTRACTED to you and hates that about himself-so he tries to make himself 'feel better' by insulting you????

By spiritual f*g I have no idea what he means, but I'm sure that it's not meant to be favorable. This tone this afternnon was friendly.

[ArleneRaquel]

The best replies always come to mind later. You should have said, "and I feel great too, Thanks"

Thank you for the suggestion, and in regard to late replies you are so right.

[Stephanie47]

My bet is on the apartment manager threatening to throw his ass out if he continues to harass the tenants.

[ArleneRaquel]

My bet is on the apartment manager threatening to throw his ass out if he continues to harass the tenants.

Stephanie,
You may be right darlin. :):)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Arlene, It sounds like he's hitting on you.

[Cynthia Anne]

Perhaps Blue Orchid is right and he is hitting on you! Never the less take it as a compliment and remember a snake in the grass can strike at anytime! Hugs!

[whowhatwhen]

He's gay.
No one un-ironically uses the word "f*g" without loving the **** themselves.

[STACY B]

The real Homophobic ones are the ones ya can well bet have the most to HIDE ,,,,LOL,,,,, Why else would you care what other do ? When they hate on ya real bad they are trying to cover up something ,,,,, LOL,,,, Next thing ya know yull be having lunch an watching movies !!!

[sterling12]

A Guess is all I can offer. A lot of men are guileless! This one may be prejudiced, stupid, and ill-behaved, but he could still be guileless. So, it's often a very quick transition from his thoughts to his mouth. He probably was impressed by your looks THIS MORNING, and blurted out a genuine compliment.

But beware! Tomorrow, he might think something different. If you aren't as "cute," I imagine you'll be back to "Fag" Status. Most people, being complex, are studies in contradictions. I think he might have been proving that this morning!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Barbara Ella]

Sweetheart, the longer he hangs around you, the less chance he has to escape your charms. Often it merely takes being in contact with the right people for some like him to begin to change their preconceived notions about those who are different. i have a good idea you are one of those right kind of people, and would bet money that the compliment today will be followed by others, perhaps interspersed with lapses to old behavior, but who knows. Whatever, keep on keeping on girl.

Barbara

[ArleneRaquel]

Barbara,\I hope that you are correct darlin.

[ArleneRaquel]

A Guess is all I can offer. A lot of men are guileless! This one may be prejudiced, stupid, and ill-behaved, but he could still be guileless. So, it's often a very quick transition from his thoughts to his mouth. He probably was impressed by your looks THIS MORNING, and blurted out a genuine compliment.

But beware! Tomorrow, he might think something different. If you aren't as "cute," I imagine you'll be back to "Fag" Status. Most people, being complex, are studies in contradictions. I think he might have been proving that this morning!



Peace and Love, Joanie


Joanie,
He is certainly an odd character, I would prefer not to have any contact at all with him.

[ArleneRaquel]

Hi Arlene, It sounds like he's hitting on you.

Hon,
I would be freaked out if he was, he is the kind of male that repels me. But I do like compliments.

[ArleneRaquel]

Perhaps Blue Orchid is right and he is hitting on you! Never the less take it as a compliment and remember a snake in the grass can strike at anytime! Hugs!

I do believe that he is a snake in the grass, his conversion with my other neighbor are unbelievable in the venom toward others who he feels are beneath him.

[Wildaboutheels]

This might be a good theme song for your neighbor given his history. I still have this song on a 45.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wKyXA_nMVQ

[ArleneRaquel]

Wild,
Thank you for the link, smiling faces can hide evil. :devil:

[Wildaboutheels]

Ok, I found it. Another tribute to your "snake in the grass" neighbor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_ZBqpEUbik

Ah, those were the days... when almost anyone could have a hit without having to follow a certain formula. That was also the era of 8 tracks too!

[Mollyanne]

Personally I would be weary of this "two faced, back stabbing individual", leopards don't change spots and bigoted people are worse!!!!!! Just be careful!!!!!!

Molly

[STACY B]

You Lady's Worry to MUCH ,,, The trick to all of your problems is Simple ? You got to befriend the right people ,, If you were friends with all CDs an that's it then your in trouble . Now that being said what SCARES Men ? Answer more Macho Men Right ,,,Tougher stronger Meaner Men ,,More Powerful Men ,, Thats why all of them watch Football ,,Boxing ,, Baseball ,,Basket ball ,,Hockey ,, MMA ,,,Wresleing ,,, On,,,On,, So that being said you must take on a new challenge an befriend in some way one of those groups an let them know all about you an make them LOVE you in all meens neccary ,,, What ever it takes ,, Like save there Mother Life ,,, Pull there child from a Burning car ,,, Maybe not that extreme but you get it ,,, So if ya got just say a whole slew of MMA Buddy's than the rest of the week little want to be Big Mouth Dummy's will follow suit an Conform ! So they will do as there Alpha Male Hero's Do ,,,, LOL,,,, Brought to you by Doctor STACY B ,,, Woke up early thinking to much ,,Don't get to used to it !

[Claire Cook]

Out of the blue my homophobic next door neighbor appears and says, " You look good today ":eek:. I still know what to make of his comments, but I do love compliments,


Sweetheart, the longer he hangs around you, the less chance he has to escape your charms. Often it merely takes being in contact with the right people for some like him to begin to change their preconceived notions about those who are different. i have a good idea you are one of those right kind of people, and would bet money that the compliment today will be followed by others, perhaps interspersed with lapses to old behavior, but who knows. Whatever, keep on keeping on girl.

Barbara

Or -- just maybe -- he is starting to appreciate you as you. Wouldn't that be great?

[FrillyShelly]

Maybe..... just maybe he is learning some acceptance ???

[FrillyShelly]

Personally I would be weary of this "two faced, back stabbing individual", leopards don't change spots and bigoted people are worse!!!!!! Just be careful!!!!!!

Molly

Mollyanne darling........... Leopards CAN change their spots, Leopards DO change their spots - not all the time, but it's wonderful when they do. You're right when you say you should be careful, but we should all be open to the best in people.

Here's an example.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B24qxWPPVbM

[Jamie Christopher]

Personally I find your charm intoxicating, so keep it up for all of us!

Jamie

[Beverley Sims]

Talk about getting mixed messages. :)

[ArleneRaquel]

Molly - I don't trust him. Thank you. :battingeyelashes:

Clair - I hope that you are right. :battingeyelashes:

Barbara - No man can resist my charms. :battingeyelashes:

Jamie - Thank you darlin. :battingeyelashes:

[ColleenCD]

Hi Ms Arlene,

Interaction with people such as this can often be a test. If you scare away and give up, conforming to his idea of who you should be, then he wins. If you stay as you are; fearless, self confident, unwavering, then he has to expand the idea of his world to include you. You won that round. Yet it is wise to expect another encounter when he tests your resolve. Remember to wear something pretty!

Best wishes my friend,

Colleen

[Meghan]

Hi Ms Arlene,

Well, that's sure a nice compliment :) That has to be uplifting for you regardless of the intentions behind the compliment. If it was sincere, and it sounds like it was, maybe you're showing him there's no reason to be afraid of people like you :)

Meghan

[ArleneRaquel]

Hi Ms Arlene,

Well, that's sure a nice compliment :) That has to be uplifting for you regardless of the intentions behind the compliment. If it was sincere, and it sounds like it was, maybe you're showing him there's no reason to be afraid of people like you :)

Meghan

Meghen,
I pray that you are right darlin.

[kimdl93]

I'm sure it was true, Arlene. People usually say what they mean.

[Tracii G]

Arlene I have run into those types a lot my advice is to watch him carefully and don't feed him.By that I mean if you act like its nothing then he will soon see that he does not have an effect on you.Hence he will stop making bad comments towards you.
I have a few friends that made fag jokes around me and I just told them you sound like an idiot I hope you know that.
This guy may be a two faced type so you never know how he will be from day to day just don't pay attention to him on his "off days".

[DonnaT]

Try to appear to be on good terms with him, but never let your guard down. Hopefully he is all talk.

[Megan_Renee]

.....but what in the heck does he mean by a SPIRITUAL (I am a Spiritual person) f*g????
That's a new one on me.


I took it to mean that brand of spiritual person who only ever listens to other people espousing the same beliefs they hold. You know, if they don't agree with me, they are a heretic... I'm taking the prefix of homosexual, which means (loosely) "the same," and applying it to the f-word here. So they are homospiritual -- they only go in for their own exact brand of faith...

[Krista1985]

Perhaps he was recently visited by four ghosts in the same night.

The first would have been a dearly departed friend with a bitter warning about how a life of homophobic/transphobic behavior will lead to torment in the afterlife. The second would have been the ghost of LGBTphobic past, and would have shown him all the people he has offended over the course of his life so far. The third, the ghost of transphobic present, showed him the people he tormented making their way through the world and not hurting anyone. The fourth, the ghost of bigoted-future, took him to his own funeral were he saw that nobody came to mourn for an old crank.

And when he awoke the next morning, it was with a live-and-let-live attitude with thoughts of how to use his remaining time appreciating instead of hating. Like an modern day Ebeneezer Scrooge, he was transformed from an old miserable coot into a rational, tolerant human being with a love for all mankind. That's how I'd explain the spiritual f*g comment anyhow.

Or maybe not. Either way it's a cause for cautious optimism. Hopefully he'll keep on being respectful and let you live as you see fit. I'd take the compliment but still be on guard around him. People can change, but the sad truth is they seldom do.

[Diversity]

Enjoy the compliment! If he is being sarcastic - don't let it get to you. If not, then again, I say, enjoy the compliment! It is a credit to you!
Di