A CDers WORST Nightmare?

[Wildaboutheels]

Make that MANY CDers worst nightmare.

THE question.

From friends or family. Or a complete stranger. What many who are just itching to leap out of their closet into the RW, use as an excuse to remain in the "safety" of their home.

If you are not one of those MANY, then there is no reason this question should put a bur in your saddle. There are many here who "complain" on a regular basis, that the RW [aka"Society"] just not does accept CDers./gays are more accepted etc. or something to that effect.

There is NOTHING WRONG with Gay people. Or CDers.

So WHY are so many people so fearful that should they venture out en femme, that someone might clock them, and heaven forrbid, perhaps SPEAK to them and ask "ARE YOU GAY"?

So far as I know, no person, Gay or not, has ever died from simply being being ASKED that question. Undoubtedly, some have probably been killed based on their response. But the news would be all over that in a flash and it isn't and I happen to live in the state likely the capitol of the US, for murder and mayhem. Has to be extremely rare. MOST people here are "sharp enough" [I hope] not to be caught alone or at night in a questionable area of town??? En femme or NOT?

So WHY such fear over THAT question? Or is it simply a convenient excuse?

I can think of numerous other reasons, people might be AFRAID to leave their house "dressed", but fear of THAT question makes little sense IMO.

Or is your excuse that you have never met a "normal'' Gay person? One who blends right in with Society. They are Gay but YOU simply are not aware of it. You would not be silly enough to think that all Gay people are alike would you? They call that stereotyping.

Certainly in your 20, 40 or 60 years on the planet, someone has either laughed at you meanly or out of cruelty for something or another, or asked you a foolish or inflamatory question? And yet, here you still are, X number of years, months, days or minutes later. Still very much A L I V E ?

IF you don't think there is anything WRONG with Gay people why not do yourself and them a favor. BE READY for that question or discussion. Come up with your own answer or response. The possibilities are limitless. Rehearse it over and over in your head or in front of a mirror.

WHEN you become ready and willing to defend THEM, you are likely to be far more able and confident to defend yourself for how you choose to dress or portray yourself.

Just an opinion. I'd like to hear yours.

[AllieSF]

"WHEN you become ready and willing to defend THEM, you are likely to be far more able and confident to defend yourself for how you choose to dress or portray yourself."

Yeah, I like that statement a lot. I get asked "The Question" a lot and love it. That means I can ask the same one back, or maybe some other detailed and up close and personal question to my unsuspecting victim. Actually, in my experience the people ask because they are actually really curious and just want to clarify what they may have heard or have included in their own uninformed definition of who and what a crossdresser really is. I always answer politely and then continue on with the conversation as if nothing happen, which in fact nothing significant did happen.

As Seinfeld said in one of his episodes where being gay came up, "Not that there is anything wrong with that."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZPcGapl2dM

[Thera Home]

For the fear of ridicule my family will receive. I dont want them to suffer for my desires. I wouldnt care if I was single, as a matter of fact,I'd do it just to get a rise out of some folks for fun.:Poke:

Thera

[Eryn]

I have no particular fear in being identified as gay. There is little stigma remaining in that identification. If my orientation is actually of concern the inquirer only need delve a bit deeper into my background to find ample evidence of my true orientation.

[Laura912]

The spill over that would affect wife and kids and grandchildren is what I want to avoid. That is why we, wife and I, may go out in another town.

[Angela Campbell]

I wouldn't care if somone thought I was gay. Unless it was a nice lady I was interested in. What I want to avoid is ridicule. Growing up I had enough of that and although it doesn't hurt physically it does hurt when someone makes fun of you or laughs at you. I can't help it that I was born this way but if I was born with three hands I would try to avoid being seen that way too just to avoid the ridicule and stares.

[Cindy_Act]

I honestly don't see the big deal with being asked if I was gay and frankly, I doubt too many people would actually ask that question anyway. So yeah, fear of that question does make little sense. I imagine the worst nightmare for most would be getting caught fully dressed by their wife or family member or publicly humiliated while out dressed.

[NicoleScott]

So you are asking if we stay in the closet because we are afraid of being thought of as gay?
There have been many threads (ad nauseum) about why we stay in the closet. I've never seen a response such as you are suggesting.

[STACY B]

If they ask just say ,,,,,,,,,,,,, YES,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Problem solved ,,, Only one who needs to know the truth is your SO,,, RIGHT ? Gay people think we are CRAZY ,,,LOL,,,, An if ya worried about friends ,,Family ,,, Kids ,,Grand kids getting picked on for you being what you are Maybe it will do them some good an make them stronger ,,If you was to tell my son something about me he would not run home an hide from it or cry nether would my grand kids . People are STUPID ,,A Person is smart ,,They just jump on the easiest band wagon to get along at the time ,, So ya gotta pick your battles ,,,Don't waste your time on Dummy's ,,, Why in the world would you ever care what a Stupid person thinks about you ? There Stupid Remember ? Stay away from them ,, An if they come around an bother you call the Law . You are Free an don't have to put up with all that crap .

[BRANDYJ]

Many members talk about wanting to blend in if not pass. So I elect to be in my safe closet because I want to blend in too. I mean to blend in with what's generally socially acceptable and common. Let's face facts...the vast majority of people think a man dressed and acting like a woman is anything from sick to perverted. I get that. So I won't go out in main stream dressed because I don't want the laughter (even behind my back). I don't want nor could I stand the humiliation. Not to mention what my being discovered might do to my unknowing friends and family if it got out. I could care less if someone thought I was gay. That would be my least concern. I just don't need or want the drama of being read. Not to mention how it might cause others around be to feel uncomfortable around a an in a dress. Yes, I am concerned about others comfort level when dealing with me or just around me.... That's why I use deodorant and freshen my breath too.
More power to those that venture out. in some ways I envy it. But simply put, it's not for me.

[Marguarite]

I haven' t been asked that question yet, but I have thought about a reply. " Not this week, but who knows about next week. Things change."

[STACY B]

Many members talk about wanting to blend in if not pass. So I elect to be in my safe closet because I want to blend in too. I mean to blend in with what's generally socially acceptable and common. Let's face facts...the vast majority of people think a man dressed and acting like a woman is anything from sick to perverted. I get that. So I won't go out in main stream dressed because I don't want the laughter (even behind my back). I don't want nor could I stand the humiliation. Not to mention what my being discovered might do to my unknowing friends and family if it got out. I could care less if someone thought I was gay. That would be my least concern. I just don't need or want the drama of being read. Not to mention how it might cause others around be to feel uncomfortable around a an in a dress. Yes, I am concerned about others comfort level when dealing with me or just around me.... That's why I use deodorant and freshen my breath too.
More power to those that venture out. in some ways I envy it. But simply put, it's not for me.




I agree with you all the way ,,, If you are trying to Present as a Complete Woman ! BUT what if you don't go the whole nine ? Not all of us dress to the nines EVERYTIME ! Like me ,,, VERY seldom do I ,, Mostly just wing it ,,Mix it up Push the Limits ,, Ride the Lighting ,,, Live it not just a costume once in a while ,, Real Life stuff ,,To where you could go back with a few days or in my case weeks or months of hard labor lost . So what then ,,,

[Amy A]

The 'fear' of being asked if I am gay is the least of my concerns about venturing into the 'real world'. I've never even considered it to be honest. I fear abuse and/or violence, I couldn't care less what people think about my sexual preference. In fact I'd rather someone asked me that than shout abuse at me.

I have to ask though, this is the second thread you've started implying that the people on this forum have a problem with gay people, is this what you believe?

[STACY B]

The 'fear' of being asked if I am gay is the least of my concerns about venturing into the 'real world'. I've never even considered it to be honest. I fear abuse and/or violence, I couldn't care less what people think about my sexual preference. In fact I'd rather someone asked me that than shout abuse at me.

I have to ask though, this is the second thread you've started implying that the people on this forum have a problem with gay people, is this what you believe?



Hey I want to know to,,, An if you do don't tell my Hair Dresser ,, Cuz HE has my Wonderful Mane in HIS hands with a Cutting tool ,,An I don't want him mad at me for NOOOOOOOOO GAY bashing ,, Cuz I mite come out of there looking like I joined the Army !!! Doh!!!!

[Megan Briana]

Until I am able to confidently portrait myself as a woman ( at least in my own mind ) i wont venture out of my front door. As for the Idea of being thought of as gay, well I have had many of my friends and family think worse and less of me that that one. That doesnt mean if they show up on my doorstep, im gonna rush and change though. My home, my world, my comforts.

[Wildaboutheels]

It seems apparent that more than a few people never look at the TOTAL responses to different threads. Or read the responses.

Post a thread with ANY of the words, pantyhose, heels, Bi, or Gay and watch the # of responses and/or views. Of course how anyone interprets any of that Data is purely subjective.

Post a thread with ALL four words in it, and it might crash the site?

[Brianna612]

I don't understand how me being a CD affects my kids, family or friends. If I'm a CD does that make my kids CD's also? Anyway I Love being me and sure as heck am going to live my life the way I want. Isn't that what freedom is all about? Thank you girls and boys who put their lives on the line to protect our freedoms. I for one am going to take advantage of that.

[Stephenie S]

"I'm not gay, but I am pretty happy."

Stephie

[Marleena]

Post a thread with ANY of the words, pantyhose, heels, Bi, or Gay and watch the # of responses and/or views.


Boobs you forgot boobs and all the magic potions that are supposed to make you grow big boobs.:D

[docrobbysherry]

I have to agree with Brandy! If friends and family find out how I dress, they'll probably figure out what a prev I am!

Someone thinking I'm gay? I worry about that as much as I do the earth being destroyed by a meteor!

[Angela Campbell]

Oh wow you are worried about meteors too I'm not the only one then....lets go put on our tin foil hats! Oh wait you said you were not worried about that......never mind.

[Leah Lynn]

Oh wow you are worried about meteors too I'm not the only one then....lets go put on our tin foil hats! Oh wait you said you were not worried about that......never mind.

Okay, I'm in. Just as long as the tin foil hat doesn't mess up my hair or receive radio signals from Mars. I hate getting radio signals from Mars; they wanna know if I'm gay, since I wear pink panties.

[Angela Campbell]

The tin foil hat blocks the signals silly!

[Cheryl T]

I was asked that question once when I was drab as a matter of fact. I replied, "I'm not even Happy right now".
They just stood there with a big HUH??? and I walked away.

[Marleena]

"A CDers WORST Nightmare?" Nope, it shouldn't be! Any guy that puts on a dress better be prepared for that question, are you gay? It goes with the territory. I know I rather be thought of as gay than some kind of sexual pervert.

I'm also wondering why all the threads about one's sexual persuasion?? Are gays hiding, do you know any, are there lots of them? lol. I couldn't care less if anybody is gay or bi. As far as that goes many self proclaimed straight people are hiding their sexuality. A better question is how many straight people are actually bi or gay or have those tendencies?

[Beverley Sims]

If you are gay you are wearing clothes that suit your gender.
If you are CD you are wearing clothes of the opposite gender.
There is more likelihood of being clocked wearing funny clothes.

[Denise Somers]

The thought occurred to me, other than the obvious nexus to sexual orientation, that the reason for the question may actually be based upon sexual fantasy. There are some are genuinely curious and this should reveal itself in the questioner's tone and body language. Such questions can be answered politely which could lead to an informative conversation. If, however, the questioner seems judgmental and rude, then the cd, or t-girl, should then ask the questioner if their query is based upon a sexual fantasy; "How's my orientation relevant to a stranger unless we are about to have sex together?" People are curious while others are just asking to be slapped down. Denise Somers

[sometimes_miss]

So far as I know, no person, Gay or not, has ever died from simply being being ASKED that question. Undoubtedly, some have probably been killed based on their response..

You answered your own question. Besides the ultimate danger of being killed, there's a lot of things going on behind your back that can adversely affect you whether you ever realize it or not, based on other how other people behave, all because they may like you less than 'normal' heterosexual people.

[STACY B]

You answered your own question. Besides the ultimate danger of being killed, there's a lot of things going on behind your back that can adversely affect you whether you ever realize it or not, based on other how other people behave, all because they may like you less than 'normal' heterosexual people.



Bring um onnnnnnnnnnnn ,,,,I welcome them with open arms ,,, Ill show um a CDs worse night mare !!! How bout just a CD night mare ? Want the pics ?

[sissystephanie]

The major problem that many CD's and Gay people have is that they haven't accepted the fact of what the are!! It is very hard for a CD to go out in public when they have not accepted the fact that they are a CD. In fact most of them won't do it! And many Gays are the same. That has nothing to do with "Society" as a whole! It is totally with the mindset of the CD's and Gays. And don't give me the "family" argument! If you accept what you are, you can handle the family part!!

[STACY B]

The major problem that many CD's and Gay people have is that they haven't accepted the fact of what the are!! It is very hard for a CD to go out in public when they have not accepted the fact that they are a CD. In fact most of them won't do it! And many Gays are the same. That has nothing to do with "Society" as a whole! It is totally with the mindset of the CD's and Gays. And don't give me the "family" argument! If you accept what you are, you can handle the family part!!




AMEN !!!!! Go get um kidd ,,,,,,, Better watch out ,,They will be gunning for yaaaaaaaaa ,,,LOL,,,,,

[Debglam]

Make that MANY CDers worst nightmare.

My worst nightmare ISN'T being asked if I am gay! :) Maybe lipstick on my teeth or tucking the back of my skirt into my pantyhose. :battingeyelashes:

Seriously, I love gay and lesbian people. Love em'. A lot of them may not get us but a lot do and we have all been down the same road (being an other, outside of the mainstream) to one extent or another. I have had gay men treat me like a real lady (platonically, for you dirty minded folks! :) )and you have to love that.

Debby

[lowxr]

I shop for my gurl stuff as a man and have no problem telling the SA the clothes are for me and that usually gets a conversation started and most are surprised to learn I'm actually married with kids !!!!! Maybe there is a perception that we are gay so what we really need is for the public to be educated, ie talk to the SA, the manicurist etc and word will get around, JMHO.

[rocketscientist]

Well, I suppose that most not familiar with "us" might jump to that conclusion. I really don't see the question as my "worst nightmare", but rather another opportunity to educate and enlighten. I have never been asked that while dressed tho. However, when I was around 20-27 yrs old I had long hair to the middle of my back. I did hear that question then because of my hair. I came up with what I thought was the perfect response to any d-bag that said that to me. When I was in my early twenties I was a regular at a local bar. I would go there almost daily after work,not just to drink, but to play pool as well. I walked in one time and this huge d-bag at the end of the bar announced where everyone could hear "What are you, some kind of faggot?", referring to my long hair. I stopped and looked him in the eye and said "why? you wanna( blank) my( blank)?"! Everybody(all 5-6 people including the bartender) started laughing their asses off, except for my would be protagonist. He got angry and started towards me. The bartender told him to calm down and that he asked for it. Under the threat of being barred from the bar, he let it go........ then. Sometime later he started something with one of my best friends,then me. And we had it out right there in the bar:heehee:. But........that's a story for another time and not on topic for this thread.