I'm excited when i'm crossdressing, and i'm in real love with asian crossdressers

[niny]

Hello, i'm new here, i'm currently in the age group 20-25 years, i choose a random pseudo as i got no idea XD but you can call me niny :)
I live alone since few years in an appartment, no room-mate :D

As you can see with the title, i have two things i would like to discuss with other crossdressers, but instead of creating 2 different topics, i will separate my message in 2 parts.

But first i have to tell you that:
- I'm not English native speaker (sorry for misspell)
- I don't think it will happen, but if i use a bad word, or say something i should not say, it is involuntary and i apologize
- I don't know if people will be able to help me, maybe your reaction will be something like "well i don't see what i can do to help you" or "what do you expect from us", but if this is the case, i will understand and at least, it will be good for me to speak to someone (you) of these 2 problems.


Message Part 1: I'm excited when i'm crossdressing

Well.. i'm not proud of that.. I mean, i know that most crossdressers probably doesn't dress like that for sexual purpose. I wish not to be excited from it, but i'm excited when i'm crossdressing.

Am i the only one ? And i don't feel excited to "see myself as girl", but "to be dressed like that". I have almost no choice in my clothing (i bought the few items i have online), so i have: 1 skirt, 1 pair of over-the-knee socks, 2 panties, 1 feminine shirt and 1 pair of feminine gauntlet.

But i still doesn't have makeup, shoes and wig (i have long hair enough to make feminine haircut, the problem is i'm currently losing some of my hair, it's unfair to lose my hair in my 20-25years old). And about the breast, it may seem strange, but i'm not attracted to it, nor i'm not attracted to have breast (kind of not useful for me), i also don't want to have high heel, just regular feminine shoes.

First of all, i hate shaving, it take a lot of time, this is why i came to the idea to shave only the visible part of my legs and arms. If only i had the possibility to shave all the hairs of my legs, arm, beard and mustache with laser, instead of a razor.

Anyway, my problem is that i feel excited just to the idea of wearing my stuff. Most of the time, i succumbs to the temptation and i dress like that to do what i have to do, and when it's finish, i feel guilty to have done this for this reason, so i put my mens clothing.

And it happen a lot of time when i'm alone, which mean very very often. Another problem related to it, i also always been very excited by exhibitionism on webcam, these bad fantasms, they always combines with my crossdressing things. And it seem to be so much exciting for me, that i'm unable to control it. I probably sound ridiculous by saying that, but it's the truth, and it's very hard to assume.

Of course i know some adult chat where people enjoy it, they also make nice compliments on my physical (even if i know i'm probably not credible at all, you're better than me for sure, the only thing i have to help me is a nice shape; i mean non-muscular and more feminine). But i know doing that is wrong, and anytime, the trigger element seem to be when i think of wearing feminine clothes. I could throw these clothes, but i know i would buy new stuff when i would feel excited and unable to control myself. The good point is that, many times, i success to avoid the webcam things, and to only excite myself alone wearing the clothes.

Am i the only one with these problem(s) ? Is that normal to be so excited of that ? is that one day it will stop ? Why am i so excited only for some piece of clothes ? I guess there's something wrong with me...



Message Part 2: I'm in real love with asian crossdressers

Since i'm young, i'm not attracted to men at all, but i'm attracted to girl (only for physical). The problem that I did not understand, is that i was (and i'm still) only attracted by the man's genitals. So i was confuse, i had girlfriends, but there was always this problem, i tried to be attracted to men, but i just can't, i'm not attracted. I have seen on internet many crossdressers (not asian), but strangely i was still not attracted to them.

Well, i always had asian fetish, and when i found (few years ago) some asian crossdressers (not the "ladyboy", i mean 100% real men crossdressing but with no breast) i knew it was exactly what i needed, not for a perversion, but because this is what i really love.

And since i'm not attracted at all to men, and only a little to women (only for physical), i found myself to dream the asian crossdressers, not for sex, but for love. I which so much to... sigh, if only i could just hug an asian crossdresser, i would be so happy. And i think having this love in my life could solve my problem of crossdressing (i guess it's the way i found to fill this missing love in my life?)

I love asian crossdressers, but not mainly for sex, i love them mainly because they are exactly what i'm looking for. I think that for some strange reasons, some people think that loving crossdressers is pervert, but i'm sincerely in love for real since years now, this is not only a fantasm. Of course, i guess not all asian crossdressers are that cute, but i have seen many cute asian crossdressers, enough to make me dream.

My family and friends know about my special sexual orientation, i'm not ashame of that. But my special sexual orientation prevents me of finding love, and this is a big problem for me, as i feel like i'm going to be alone forever involuntarily, because of my sexual orientation. The big problem with that, is that it became like an obsession, i want too much to find my love, but at the same time it's like i know i will never find it. I dream about this love everyday, i can barely have other things in my mind. I don't know what to do to forget about that, and to accept the fact i'm going to live forever alone.

Thank you for reading.

[Joanna Maguire]

i know that I am jealous of Asian crossdressers as they look so good and have such wonderful skin

[Amy A]

OK, where to start...

First things first, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.

There is such a wide range of sexuality in the world, you've just found what works for you, that's all. Plenty of crossdressers dress for sexual reasons, I did too when I was younger. At your age you've lots of hormones flying around, over time you might find the sexual aspect of it diminishes somewhat (I dress for self expression now, I don't get sexually excited anymore by it).

And I think you'll find a lot of people like Asian crossdressers, because they are usually very convincing. I've always found Asian women attractive, I love films from Japan and Korea. I read a story that crossdressing in Japan is becoming very popular and more acceptable nowadays, it's more ingrained in their culture.

Don't feel like you are going to spend your life alone. I felt the same when I was 20, then I met the girl of my dreams. You never know when you'll meet the right person. Just be yourself.

Rachel

[Vickie_CDTV]

As far as being aroused when dressed, you don't have to be proud of it per se but you don't have to feel ashamed either. In fact, statistically speaking many (perhaps a silent and invisible majority?) of men who wear women's clothing do so for arousal purposes. You are certainly not alone in your sexual attraction to dressing. Don't make yourself feel guilty, or let others who dress make you feel guilty either.

[niny]

Thanks for your messages, i feel less like an alien by knowing others crossdressers have done the same thing :) i still hope that i will stop to be excited by doing this, as soon as possible.

If many people love asian crossdressers, i already feel like it's impossible to live with one of them, if i also have "challenge" (i mean, if other people loving them seriously, i'm that not the only one), so i still don't see how i could find the love.

Doing what i'm doing, i think it just did not help me for my self esteem, but now i know i'm not the only one, it may help to feel less guilty. And about the fact i'm in real love with asian crossdressers, i think it's the only reason i have to feel alone, if only i could get it off my mind, if i can't live with one of them. Why the idea of living with one of them obsesses me that much :sad:

thanks again for your messages

[outhiking]

Hi and welcome. I'm guessing most of us went through a similar phase when we were younger and many still find dressing up to be arousing. No worries, you are in good company and may find the desire for sexual release decreases as you get older and also as you accept yourself more.

[Shadowgirl89]

OMFG I feel the exact way about everything it's sooo weird I thought I was the only one that felt that way, well exept I do like Asian ladyboys a lot actually and I'm also a attracted to women.