Halloween is coming, but....

[Hannah Gotta]

I am not going to go out.
Why not? After all, Halloween is the one night no one will look twice at a man in a dress.
But...Hannah is not a costume. Hannah is ME. If I spend an hour on doing my make up, picking out my perfect dress and people think I am in a costume and laugh....that would break my heart.
I am very proud of the steady hand I have when putting on my eyeliner, the sense of fashion when I am choosing my accessories, the expert way I strut in my heels...

When I am Hannah, I am me. Not a costume.

Anyone else feel this way?

And for those who are going out this year, rock on girls. You are all beautiful.

Love, Hannah

[~Joanne~]

I can completely understand where you are coming from. I often ponder that point myself but on the flip side of being a closeted dresser, it is the one day/night that I can go out and feel the wind on my legs without many fears and to me, that is worth it.

[Wildaboutheels]

IF you think you might be laughed at a Halloween party, it's likely you have never been to a "real" one with hundreds of people? Of course that might simply be a function of a large city. I have been to probably 18 or 20 of that size and NEVER witnessed anyone being laughed at for any reason. Additionally, I would guesstimate, that men dressed in some type of women's costume make up around 5% of most crowds. Some obviously spending a lot of time and effort in trying to look feminine and others, clearly throwing on the costume and wig in a few minutes, perhaps in an effort to show they are not really serious about being a female.

Regardless of the effort involved, I think fear of being laughed at, at a Halloween party is completely unfounded based on my considerable experience at them. Too many people here are fearful enough already of going out into the RW.

[Amanda_P]

I love going out on halloween cause that's the only time I can go out. I to take pride in my dressing when I do or can. But on halloween I can bring it out to show everyone. It's a slow way of coming out to everyone. Someone might laugh at you or ask you what you was thinking. Then you can also see what differant reactions your friends would have if you did come out to them. I just enjoy the differant looks I can try to pull off. And I have fooled some with how good I looked.

[franlee]

You look like you could pass with out it being halloween. And I do see the thought and fear you are contemplating. I was thinking along the same lines before you put up this post. And in my case it was retrospective. I just wish back when I was your age I had experianced such and much more the rest of the year too. No matter the out come the experiance is what it's all about, and you can't have memories if you don't make them. Regrets are usually from the oppisite in later life, having not done stuff. You can't have scambled eggs if you don't break a few, just part of it. My advice is enjoy your gifts and just take it for what it is.

[Beverley Sims]

What ever your perception is halloween is a great time for serious practice and building confidence in the early stages.
In later life the experience is more natural and you can experiment with fantasy costumes.
It is fun to be a princess and have people think you really are a girl dressed up.
A great feeling.

[dallasmann]

I am not going to go out.
Why not? After all, Halloween is the one night no one will look twice at a man in a dress.
But...Hannah is not a costume. Hannah is ME. If I spend an hour on doing my make up, picking out my perfect dress and people think I am in a costume and laugh....that would break my heart.
I am very proud of the steady hand I have when putting on my eyeliner, the sense of fashion when I am choosing my accessories, the expert way I strut in my heels...

When I am Hannah, I am me. Not a costume.

Anyone else feel this way?

And for those who are going out this year, rock on girls. You are all beautiful.

Love, Hannah

Why not go out dressed as a guy?

[Ashley Lyn]

The SO and I handed out candy last year in the driveway (had the candy and sound-effects in the back of the truck)..
I was dressed in a short frilly sissy dress.. and pigtail wig.. SO's sister came by.. (she said "you only do this on Halloween, right?"..) If only she knew..
Lots of people came by.. When asked 'what/who I was', I responded with 'a guy in a sissy dress'.. It was FUN!

[Jenniferathome]

I agree and have made a similar comment on another thread. But my point in that comment is that dressing as a "woman" is not the same as dressing in a costume. While I doubt that anyone would laugh at you, EVERYONE would suspect there is more to your dressing than Halloween. This is warning to all who think they can dress on Halloween without suspicion.

Any man dressing in any feminine way is suspicious. then add in that your appearance is an everyday woman, and alarms go off. Have fun but be realistic.

[Rachel Morley]

I got ya. For me, I go out all the time in the mainstream and so dressing in street clothes is not what I use Halloween for. I use it to dress up in a costume (girl one of course) last year I went to a party in a "little girl" dress, the year before that's party I was Alice in Wonderland. If I wasn't going out to party I'd probably not dress that night/weekend.

[arbon]

Did Halloween twice - once in the early 90's , I was drunk that night and things got pretty weird, and embarrassing. I wanted it to be real.

In 2008 did it again. Went to a party, sober with my wife. We had decided to switch roles. She kept getting irritated because I kept trying to make myself look good she would keep saying don't don't don't - it needs to be funny or people will think you like it. That night messed with my head, everything I had been trying to hold inside kinda came loose again and led me into over a year of pretty nasty dispersion as I struggled with my gender identity and what to do. Eventually, well, now I'm living as a woman :)

but the point is I could not do the guy dressing up as a woman for fun very well, it was totally wrong.

[rocketscientist]

Hannah, forget about Halloween for dressing unless you wear a women's costume. In fact, why even wait til' then? You look fabulous. Just go out NOW! I'm sure there are others nearby and friendly venues for you to spread your wings. Hugs, Tonya

[Sally24]

I usually go out on Halloween but always as a female Character. The costume isn't Sally. Sally is wearing a costume. I've.gone.as Batgirl, a playboy bunny, a Star Trek yeoman, and others.

[Hannah Gotta]

thank you girls, you have given me a lot to think about. I've gone out before, but only to places where girls like us are accepted. I guess I fear being laughed at.

Love, Hannah

[Lynn Marie]

Thanks Hannah for posting this. I never thought about it like that. Very cool. Also, Sally really hit the nail on the head about going out en femme in a costume. Now that's the way to go. Thanks again girls for opening my eyes.

[Wildaboutheels]

A few things to keep in mind for those on the fence about going to a Halloween party. Chances are extremely high it will be at night in a [probably] not extremely well lit establishment. Many will be outside or partly outside. [here in Fla. anyway] Almost everyone will be drinking which tends to "relax" most people and likely they will have adequate security since one almost always has to pay a cover charge.

Lastly If you don't go, it will be another 365 days till it rolls around again.

I may be wrong but I don't believe people go to Halloween parties trying to figure out which guys dressed in female costumes, might do it more often than for Halloween. If nothing else, attend dressed as some other character and check one out? And then wait for next year.

[Megan Briana]

I M Lookin forward to goin out.. i need some help in the make up area, but i am sure i can find a gg in my family that will help. my problem is that once i do this, then the cat is out of the bag- how else would i explain all the perfectly sized clothing and shoes to pick from, plus some makeup i have been practicing with. (im not really trying t cover it... n fact i am hoping it will help me open this closet door at least to one or two close friends.

[StevieTV]

I can understand your point; however, Halloween is costume time. I'm currently trying to put together a Lady Gaga outfit. It's way out there for what I usually dress like and I always find it fun to create a costume for the night.

[Eryn]

Halloween is a mixed bag for a CDer. For those who cannot pass/blend or are nervous about it it's a wonderful opportunity to go out and express themselves without fear of ostracism. If you're made you're just in a costume and it's OK.

For those of us who do pass/blend/etc. regularly Halloween isn't so good, because it is the one day out of the year when Joe Public might consider seriously that that person in a dress might not be female. We're more likely to be made.

I likely won't be going out on Halloween. I'll be handing out candy to the ever-decreasing number of kids that come to my door but I'll be in boy mode to do it.

[Wildaboutheels]

Oops. I left out motivation. Does 500 or 1,000 bucks [first prize money] make it any more enticing or sweeten the pot any?
Most people would be amazed at what/which outfits can win. [usually based on crowd applause/sometimes judges]

[Jamie Christopher]

I agree with Eryn. I would definitely be too feminine to look like a "Halloween outfit", and would not necessarily care, so no I wouldn't do it if I didn't want everyone to know. Especially how well I walk in my 4" heels lol.

Jamie

[lowxr]

Halloween gives us a chance to go out in fantasy dress that we wouldn't normally go out in mainstream (costume ) but also gives those of us closeted a chance to fulfill that yearning to get out of the closet ( CD'ing ).

[windycissy]

I totally get that, but at the same time, it's Halloween and if given a chance, I want to dress up and get out there, so my solution is to wear a costume that a woman might wear, in this case as Catgirl:

[Monicamaryjay]

Hi Hannah,
I was hoping someone might bring up the problems associated with Halloween when we crossdress.

Great comments and responses. It seems to me that Halloween could be a time when we are potentially "outed", especially if there are already suspicions, which there are in my case.

I have dressed secretly (well some have seen me) for years but have gone out only once where there were others like me and it wasn't Halloween. I live in a small city, more like a town where everyone knows everyone... almost.

I can completely relate to your feelings, Hannah, I value my feminine side enough too keep her from being displayed in a frivolous manner.

However, Halloween might be a great night to travel to safe place to meet with other crossdressers. I am hoping to do that.
Monica

[heatherdress]

It would be different you got dressed in a female halloween costume (Batgirl, Wonderwoman, Cher etc).

[AllieSF]

Halloween is a special evening to have fun for kids and adults. If it helps the closeted CD get out that one time a year, or provides a special opportunity for the veteran CD who already is comfortably out and about so much the better. I understand your fears, but sometimes I think one lets their own fears come up with reasons for not going out that are to me just "unreasonable". One should just do what they want when they want. If Halloween is not your bag, then stay home dressed as a guy or a woman and do what you would like to do. No complaints nor negative comments from me about that. I agree with one of the comments above about not being laughed at. You may get some laughs, but I really think you may need to learn how to laugh with someone, even if it is laughing at yourself. It just makes it one hell of a lot easier to be yourself and just enjoy the moment.

PS: Cissy: I like your Kitty Kat look.

[linda allen]

I don't see any reason to stay home because it's halloween. If you don't want to wear a "costume", just go out and be yourself. If I go out this halloween, that's what I will do. Just Linda, dressed in low heels, a skirt, and a blouse, out walking downtown or at the mall. With my wife by my side, also dressed as herself.

That's my plan anyhow.

[NicoleScott]

When I am Hannah, I am me. Not a costume.

Even crossdressers are allowed to dress up in a costume on Halloween. So let's just have fun with it.

[Annaliese]

Yes I have felt this way for little while for a long time I want to dress for Halloween being a teacher it was just to much of a risk now to do it it just would not feel right, hugs

[TGMarla]

Well, here's a couple of thoughts on this. First off, Marla to me is not a Halloween costume, and I don't treat Halloween as an excuse to dress when no one will know different. But there's more to it than that, and the more important reasons I don't dress on Halloween are that I pass out candy to the neighbors' kids, and usually the neighbors are with them. If I wanted to dress Marla up in a female Halloween costume, I could just do that without crossressing to gain the effect. It's not a huge jump for some to realize that "hey, this person is just a little too good at this for it to be a once a year thing." I don't need to expose my proclivities to all of my neighbors. Furthermore, even if my wife works that evening, she'd be coming home before all the kids were done coming to the door. It's just too much of a pain to get all undressed before she comes home, all while answering the door for the trick-or-treaters.

So I don't bother. There are 364 other days (give or take a few) when I can indulge myself.

[kimdl93]

thank you girls, you have given me a lot to think about. I've gone out before, but only to places where girls like us are accepted. I guess I fear being laughed at.

Love, Hannah

I think someone has a post that askes if any of us have been laughed at. Honestly, I've probably been laughed at more often en drab than en femm. If that's the thing that's holding you back , please consider that many of us that go out will never completely pass, but we seldom report unpleasant reactions. I think that the world is a far more welcoming and forgiving place than you allow yourself to believe. Especially St Paul!!!

[Tina B.]

Wow, if everyone goes out, who is giving those kids all that candy? I'll just stay home and scare the heck out of those kids, and hand out goodies, as a ghoul as usual.
I forgot who said it, but I agree, make it funny, make itHalloweenn, or you will out yourself. I think the world knows the Gays and Trans people, claimedHalloweenn years ago!
But of course if you have any gay bars around, I bet they have Halloweenen party that will welcome one and all. Or hit a big city, I know in L.A. and San Francisco, the party runs pretty wild.
Tina B.

[Chickhe]

That's because...nobody dresses up as themselves on halloween! Of course you will get laughed at! If you are going to do halloween enfem, you need to dress as your female self who is dressed in a costume. Then people will look at your costume and laugh and also complement you on how much you look like a woman. The trick to feeling good about this is to separate your female ego from what people will be considering is a costume....they will say and do some inappropriate things that might hurt your feelings if you don't have the mindset that you are in costume.