Coming out to a friend

[NicoleKent]

I came out to a GG lesbian friend today on Facebook, this was our conversation

(Me)
So, you're the first person I've come out to about this, but I feel like I need to talk about it with someone who'll be understanding... I'm transgender... It's something I've been trying to come to terms with for a long time. I am more specifically bigender, I identify with my male self as well, but I have a female aspect that has been yelling louder and louder to come out... I always felt like I could express my feminine side with you..

(My Friend)
I'm honestly not shocked by this ... You and I are basically the same person
I'm really happy you are coming out about this though
It's so important to just say it and get it off your chest

I've been having a big week :)

[~Joanne~]

Be careful, once your out, your out and if not prepared for the negatives....well, it's not a good thing. Best of luck.

[Kim D.]

first i wanted to say im very happy for you. im married to a tg i didnt find out til a couple of months ago. but she has told a couple of people and they glad she did. i wish you the best

[Sara Jessica]

Nothing like coming out to someone on FB. Are you prepared for the world to know as well???

[Ashley D.]

As kim said I have came out to meny people and so far so good.
It's great to be you self around more and more people.
As long as you know that is what you want.

[Ashley Lyn]

I'm really not sure about using facebook as a platform.. I'm 'at ease' here, but it seems as tho' everyone finds out what happens on facebook..
I'm not sure as that is all bad, as I sometimes wish I woulda' "come out" a long time ago.. Life woulda' been easier..
CONGRATS anyhow.. If you are content.. and its great to have a GG who knows..!!

[NicoleKent]

Wow, I wasn't expecting people to be so negative, I didn't write it on her wall or anything, I just a private message to a friend who moved away a long time ago, who came out to me when she was coming out, and I was someone she could share with.

I'm really kind of disappointed in your negativity :(

[Megan Briana]

Congrats to you Nicole for havin the courage to trust a friend. It is something I know i wish i could manage. I think the negativity you talked about is aimed more towards Facebook than yourself. Unfortunately, Facebook is Facebook, and not like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas; whereas what happens on Facebook can go viral. I say, If its a friend you trust then no fear. Congrats again!

[ellieg]

Congratulations Nicole! It's so great to have someone you can trust enough to come out to. WTG!

[Amy A]

Nicole, you obviously trust her. She's confided in you in the past. I'm really happy for you, it's great you have a friend that you can be open with. I think her response was lovely. :)

I'm sure other posters don't mean to be negative, it's just a case that in living secret lives like we do, we have to practice caution, and they probably didn't realise you were using private messaging. But friendships like the one you have with this girl are the ones you'll keep for life, and its great that you have someone like that in your life.

Above all, well done on a big step!!

[bridget thronton]

Is good you have a friend you can trust. I have never seen a private message sent here or on facebook appear on the web or on my wall. I have seen posts here come up when I search for my name using google.

[reb.femme]

Nothing like coming out to someone on FB. Are you prepared for the world to know as well???

This really is cheaper and easier than taking out a full page spread in a couple of international newspapers.
Was this a pm on FB or just the regular board? If regular board, you are obviously out to all friends etc.

In UK speak, you're "in for a penny, in for a pound", so essentially all the way in....or out as the case may be!

Rebecca

[PretzelGirl]

Nicole, I am glad you found someone that you could tell privately. It is tough to find someone we can trust and who we want to tell, so when you choose someone and it works out, it is a wonderful thing. Her first line seems to be quite a common statement that I see here when coming out to someone. "I'm honestly not shocked by this...". I haven't heard the exact same thing, but I have heard "That explains a lot". We leak a lot of information in attitude and appearance, so we aren't always as stealth as we think.

[Tracii G]

Doing via P.M on FB is not a huge deal IMO I have done that.

[Beverley Sims]

If face book has a true profile of yourself it can out you completely.