Locker Room Humor

[Shannon]

Yesterday, I was in the locker room at my gym (having just finished 60 minutues of cardio), getting undressed to shower. I overheard two guys talking about Thanksgiving plans. One mentioned he wished this girl he had just met and invited to join him for Thanksgiving would show up. Then he went into a rather detailed description of his idea of "dessert" (I'm not sharing the details). It offended my femininity and appreciation of women.

Anyway, I noticed that my reaction was one of disgust that he would talk about any woman, especially one he had recently met, in such a way. Now I enjoy a risque joke, and I'm certainly no prude, but I realized I wasn't relating at all "traditional" male locker room talk?

I'm curious how the rest of you react when you encounter locker room humor.

[missy-cd]

to be involved in this or not if it were me i would keep to my self and just think ( some men will never learn maybe this could be the reason why his new girl friend will not be at thankgiving with him ) some men only have one track mind and it stuck on sex
as for me i do not go into locker rooms i work out at home when i do work out

Missy

[swiss_susan]

Is playing rugby, I do frequent the locker room. And certainly there is a lot of talk and joking around of a sexual nature. I will admint I am not particularly offended by it. That may be because I have never though of myself as a woman, even when I make an attempt to look as passable as possible.

I don't quite know how to say this but there is a time and place for everything, and men often have these kind of discusions in the lockerroom because it is one of the last female free zones in the world, although ours is not as our two physical therapists are women and are frequently in the lockers and showers with us.

I may be entirely wrong but at least they get it out of their system in there, by themselves. Although I think most men do this because they feel it is necessary to make their fellow men think they are "strapping, virile, manly men" lol

I do however understand how some of us may well be offended and not want to hear this kind of talk.

I hope some of this at least makes some sense.

Susan

[kimmy p]

He is a pig and he must die.... Ok so the last part is a little overboard but he's still a pig. To tell you the truth, I never got the purely physical part of most men. Sure sex is fun, sex is great, and I like to have it very much. But I also want to know the woman as a person. I may be old fashioned but I cannot personally even consider sex with someone I just met. Hell I'm worse than that, I'm 37 and my wife of almost 14 years is my one and only. I guess being raised by just a mother and having a sister influenced me growing up. My joke is that due to my upbringing I can tell a lady what shoes go with what dress but I cannot change my oil.

Hugs,
Kimmy

[erica12b]

there are times when the male , is at his best ,or worst, i think you were at your best and they where at there worst.

[SandraInHose]

'Offended' may be too strong of a word, but I certainly don't need to hear most of it. I remember when I was single and a group of us from the same gym would go to the nightclubs, and hearing all the BS the next day back at the gym. I never got into the bragging and storytelling, etc, about any women I dated. It just wasn't me.

What was funny, was when one of your buddies was describing a girl or situation with a girl, and he forgot that you were there too, and you see how much he would embellish the story. Seen this many times, and makes me take most stories with a grain of salt anyway. :thumbsdn:

[Shannon]

Susan and Sandra -- I like the point you both seem to be making that there may be social pressures and expectations, especially in a locker room, to do some "chest pounding" and embellishing -- probably some pre-wired genetic thing.

Thanks for your comments.

[JoannaDees]

I've felt as Kimmy has said. I just never got the male drive relating to sex and objectifying women. I always felt less for that, although not for quite a long time.

Back to the original post, I simply don't join in these type conversations. Guys who do that appear foolish to me.

[Stormgirl]

He is a pig and he must die.



oh brother :rolleyes:

[Jacqui]

Shannon, I can understand how you could be offended. Wouldn't it be interesting, though, to be accepted as a woman in the women's locker room and get the inside scoop on how and what they talk about regarding men?


Jacqui

[pedebra]

It is no surprise that so many women think that men are pigs. If you listen to some of these men talk about their conquests ( or hope to be conquest ), you wonder how they get any rest at all. My experience has been that the talkers are the ones who spend all their time alone or with other guys. Most women are neither so shallow nor so stupid as to fall for all of the BS.
Debra

[insearchofme]

I learned this at my father's knee. "A gentleman NEVER discusses his physical relationship with a woman to anyone else (or what he wishes his relationship to be). Do do so shows poor form and tells everyone that you are an not worhty to be called a man".

[Denise Robinson]

um....

Male locker room = males, this then = the usual male stomping and agression etc. you know what i mean. have no time for the locker rooms as tend to find 100% hetro testosterone driven bulls to much for me to handle.

[Wendy me]

guys being guys saying things to impress outher guys......you know that whole boy's club thingy......most don't "hook up" like thay clame eather ....i wounder why??

[Gale R]

Thats what i hate about the male gender in general, all this macho posing and posturing just p*sses me off.:mad:
I won't get involved with that sort of thing, these guys normally don't have anything to boast about any way.
Just a little rant & my opinion.

PS i used to drive buses for a living and have taken many a rugby team on away matches, total animals.:thumbsdn:

[Holly]

IMO such "conversations" show a blatant disrespect toward women. I have to wonder how these Neanderthals would feel if the female under discussion was their mother or sister?

[KathrynW]

Try and remember...our brains are wired quite different from the majority of the "locker room" crowd. When you're in that locker room, you're essentially on "their turf". They're not out to personally offend you. It's just a macho thing. My advice is just try and ignore their macho BS. If it bothers you that bad, avoid the locker room. ;)

[TGMarla]

I think it's less a feminization thing here, Shannon. It's more of a civilization thing. And an education thing. Some of us, even those of us who love to play football, rugby, golf, whatever....those of us who really like to hang with the boys, still do not descend to that level when referring to women.

If it were my sister, or in another life...me, I'd be offended. I'm less offended by the comments than I am exasperated by them. There is nothing wrong with complimenting a woman's attributes when with the guys, but why get adversely profane about it? Grow up. Display a little higher education and act civilized. Is that too much to ask?

[Denise Robinson]

ah in a perfect world huh..men are men and women are women, some will take offence to this , some to that. this is a mixed world. there will never be a uniformed approach (in our life time) on behaviour, thats all it boils down too, behavior...might i just say also lately in ten years how morals, behaviour towards others has declined at an alarming rate.

[Sarahgurl371]

I agree that a certain amount of chest pounding is expected. And even from some of us before comming to terms with ourselves, participated in it to prove how manly we are. I have never been one to demean women, especially in a sexual way. But, how many of us have tried to deflect any suspicion of our masculinity by whatever means necessary? How many of us are enthralled by a beautiful woman? What thoughts go thru our minds? I guess I am just as guilty as the locker room guys if my thoughts count.

I am not saying that I have all these vulgar sexual thoughts, but, I certainly do enjoy time well spent with the opposite sex!

I think that having recently begun to try and understand my own gender identity, I have realized what a precious gift women offer thier partner. I guess that as a CD/TG, we are capable of putting ourselves in thier shoes, and understanding how a women might feel. I think this makes us better husbands, better friends, and certainly better lovers. At least I hope so.

[Paula Rae]

Hey Shannon,

Their talking and bragging is just macho egotistic BS. Mature real-man do not stoop to that level of conversation, especially within the ear shot of others. I too, would be offended.

If I were to go on, I'd just be repeating what Marla and the others are saying.

This is an exellent thread, thank you for posting it.

Ricki B

[Jamie001]

The simple solution is to not subject yourself to these types of disrespectful idiots. Do not interact with them or have them as friends or acquaintences. It is not worth it. They have nothing to offer you.


Try and remember...our brains are wired quite different from the majority of the "locker room" crowd. When you're in that locker room, you're essentially on "their turf". They're not out to personally offend you. It's just a macho thing. My advice is just try and ignore their macho BS. If it bothers you that bad, avoid the locker room. ;)

[Stormgirl]

What about those women that talk about how they're going to control their bf or are using them for their money,etc? See it goes both ways,not all guys are pigs and not all women are bad.You're going to run into the morons of either gender.

[Phoebe Reece]

I've participated in plenty of "locker room humor" in my time - although it wasn't in the locker room, it was usually in the foreman's shed at a construction site. Yeah, it's crude, but it's just a part of male bonding. Like it or not, sometimes it's also necessary to show you are part of the team to advance your career. You shouldn't take that sort of thing too seriously. I also laugh at the Three Stooges when they are doing dumb things to each other, but I certainly wouldn't laugh if I saw someone actually poke someone in the eye the way they do on film.

[Lisa Maren]

I can't stand that kind of talk about women, either! I also never understood the typical male purely physical view of sex. I never identified with that part of being male -- or most other parts actually. lol

I still use the locker room at my health club, though, since I still have a man's haircut and body hair (both of which I long to feminize for good but that's another post for another day). I haven't heard anything like that there, but it's a nicer club. They do get loud and oafish discussing their athletic activities, though. I never understood that either.

Hugs,
Lisa

[Rachel Morley]

I'm curious how the rest of you react when you encounter locker room humor.

I'm the same as you. There's no harm a bit of flirtatious gossip amongst your friends (women do it all the time) but guys always take it too far. There's no excuse for misogynistic behavior.

[suzy]

Most men are pigs! ..and I have proof! I have seen it with my own eyes! I hate pig men!!

[Sarah Smile]

I can't stand that kind of talk about women, either! I also never understood the typical male purely physical view of sex. I never identified with that part of being male -- or most other parts actually. lol


That's just how I feel, too. Such talk is disrespectful to the subject and is bound to lead to nothing but embarrassment.

[Shannon]

Thanks girls for all your comments.

I should have called this thread "Locker Room Talk" rather than "Locker Room Humor" because there is no humor is the content.

As diverse as we are, it seems from this thread we share a similar view about "locker room talk" -- specifically it is not something we "relate" to. Perhaps this is something that differentiates our CrossDressers' view compared to a typical male view -- less objectifying of females as sexual objects and a general disinterest in participating in these types of conversations.