What is my name

[josee]

I have been wrestling with this issue since I joined this forum but have never asked y'all's opinion before.

My name on this forum was picked cause I needed a feminine name to join and I always liked "Josie and the Pussycats" when it was a Saturday morning cartoon back in the late 70's. I really wanted to play in that band. The way I wanted to spell it was already taken of course! So I misspelled it Josee.

My male and legal name very androgynous. If I add one little letter (i) it is spelled as the feminine version of my name. People misspell my name this way all the time in fact.

I had also considered my grandmother's maiden name. I love her name Laura and using her maiden name which is a very common surname would disguise my identity greatly.

What I am wondering is what is the biggest reason to disguise one's background when transitioning?

If I just start spelling my name one letter different it seems like it would make legal issues a bit simpler.

What would you do and why??

[Saffron]

I would choose the name I like the most, I don't like the idea of choosing a name only cause it's similar to my current legal name.

[Frances]

We don't live in the same country, but there is no legal difference here between adding a letter and changing every single one of them. Where I live, José would be the masculine form and Josée, the feminine. Adding the letter would require the same document filing and court approuval as changing from José to Catherine. Maybe, I am not understanding that part of the question.

As for disguising one's background. I don't tell new people I meet that I am trans and I don't want them to know. It's harder to do during transition, but transitions end, and there is no more in-between.

[Michelle.M]

What I am wondering is what is the biggest reason to disguise one's background when transitioning?

There isn't one. Some of my friends have changed their names to a feminine version of their male names, some (myself included) have chosen entirely different names and some have not changed their names at all (or very little), as their original names are sufficiently androgynous.

Why or why not is your call. Some of my friends need deep stealth to avoid abusive people from their pasts, and others want to maintain positive and accepting family ties and keep their names as close to what they had as possible.

Whatever you do, it needs to be for YOUR reasons and not anyone else's.

[sandra-leigh]

What I am wondering is what is the biggest reason to disguise one's background when transitioning?

Answering only for my own situation:

My legal name has no currently recognized female equivalent or female derivative or diminutive. (It is much as if "Admiral" had become a personal name.) US Census records indicate that there are no living females in the US with my legal name. Therefore, anyone hearing it applied to me, or reading it, would certainly assume that I was male, and that assumption would completely color their interpretation upon meeting me or dealing with me. I would have to be pass very well in order to dispel that notion -- which unfortunately would take rather some doing, as I am 6', over 200 pounds, and have (for example) long hands. If I call for a cab, and give my name (for example) then the taxi driver is going to be looking for a male, and is going to "see" the male in me, rather than seeing the female in me. Likewise if/when I get a job: my current legal name would be a reminder to everyone that knew me, each time they encountered it.

Thus, in order to have a chance to "blend" more easily, to encourage people to see the female in me rather than the male, then I need to use a name that is at the very least ambiguous, preferably common enough as a female name that people would at least be unsure rather than "Oh yah, I forgot I used to know a woman with that name". For example I would not use "Mel" even though some women legally named "Melissa" use "Mel", as people would certainly assume "Melvin". Not ambiguous enough. A name such as "Jamie" is more ambiguous as people know Jamie Lee Curtis.

The name I am using now, Sandra, is often diminuated to Sandy, which is an ambiguous name (being also used as a diminutive of Alexander.)

[Rianna Humble]

I must admit that when I changed my name so completely, I partly had in mind not giving my political opponents any ammunition (like that one worked :brolleyes:)

I was also doing it to achieve a clean break from my old life - that was him, this is me. Although I did keep mainly the same friends and I carried on working at the same place, the change of name ensured I didn't just become "that guy who dresses a bit weird"

Even if you do decide to change your name to something identifiably feminine, you do not have to disguise your background unless you want to.

What I think that you need to ask yourself is whether you want to make that kind of clean break.

If you want everyone to think of you as exactly the same person, then stick with the same name but different spelling - but don't be surprised if a large number mis-gender you simply because you were always a "him" and they have nothing to remind them of the change.

On the other hand, it may be worth considering what our erstwhile resident grinch used to say "If you are a woman, be a woman, don't go round blabbing about how you used to be a man!"

Up to you in the end which advice (if any) you choose to take.

[Krististeph]

Iosie (aramaic) .

or pick ten variations, or ten totally different names, and use them. Eliminate the ones that do not sound specifically like YOU.

it will take a little while. it will be worth the time spent.

[Aprilrain]

A two minute Internet search will bring up your old name, There is no hiding in today's world. Pick a name you like.

[sandra-leigh]

In the province I am in, there is a small difference between making a large name change and a small respelling: here, if you keep the same last name, you might be excused from having to publish the name change in the government newspaper of record ("Manitoba Gazette").

In some of the other provinces of Canada, there are specific rules that allow people changing genders to be excused from publishing in the relevant Gazette.

[Aprilrain]

let me rephrase, In the USA if one legally changes ones name a two minute internet search of ones new name will reveal the old name. Name changes in the USA ARE public record!
I know it only takes about 2 minutes because I tried it with my name

[Rianna Humble]

A two minute Internet search will bring up your old name, There is no hiding in today's world. Pick a name you like.

Whilst it is true that a Google search on my name brings up the news reports about my change of name, it is also polluted by links to two new Rianna Humbles who have recently become active on facebook, myspace and a number of other such websites.