Dear Pantyhose: I think we should see other people...

[GeminaRenee]

This afternoon, in a bittersweet moment, I broke up with pantyhose...

Once upon a time, crossdressing for me always involved pantyhose. It was such a thrill, going to the store, fearfully migrating to the rack of hose, and then picking out a package (or four). I was so enamored with that tightness, that chilly, warm feel I would always get as I slid into a pair. I couldn't get enough of that soft, slightly scratchy sensation as my legs would rub together. I would almost always top it off with a nightie, and of course copious amounts of lipstick. Feeling sufficiently femme, I was always pretty sure that I had reached the apex of my femininity.

Things began to change when I found a SO who was supportive of my dressing. She pushed my adventures to a different level. She found my love of hose quaint and endearing, but she was ever sure to remind me that there was so much more to dressing than wearing a pair of L'Eggs. It was she who encouraged me to pursue the look of a real woman - and she who reminded me that not every situation called for the soft encasement of hose. Nonetheless, I was not ready to let go. When we would go out to the bar, even if I was wearing jeans and boots with no leg showing, I could not imagine doing so without a pair of hose gently hugging my lower half.

Gradually though, I began to think differently. I found that the essence of what I perceived as femininity could be found with or without hose. I began to feel more and more defined by the complete outfit, rather than having to have that one ostensibly essential piece of clothing. Still, I clung to old habits. Even as recently as a few months ago, I would get geared up to go shopping for girl clothes en drab, and would unfailingly slip into hose before I headed out to the stores. But more and more, I would find that I couldn't wait to be home to get free of the overbearing tightness. When I would get back, it was off with the jeans and off with the hose - I just wanted to spend time with my new girly clothes, free of the encumbrance of my former love.

Today, things came to a head. I was prepping to go shopping with a new GG friend of mine. I showered and shaved, and went into the closet to pick out a pair of old suntans to wear stealthily under my outward man-garments. They felt tight and stultifying. The thrill was gone. I came to the realization that there was no reason for me to wear them. I was still going to try on things that would make me feel much more girly, with or without them. In a fit of rebellion, I pulled them off, tossed them on my bed, and headed out the door.

The shopping expedition was wonderful. I came home with a couple bags full of goodies. I didn't need pantyhose to enjoy any of them. I knew then, that from this day forth, I was only going to wear hose when I needed them. Of course, there are situations where they will still be indispensable - dresses and the like. But I know now that hose are no longer an essential part of my crossdressing. They are simply an element of it.

This is such a mixed-up feeling, like a breakup that had to happen - like the girl that I was once head over heels for, but now feel trapped by. It's kind of sad to think about all the good times I had in hose, and how they once very much defined what crossdressing meant to me. But now the pursuit of the whole girl is so much more important to me. I want Kali to be so much more than that explosion of fetish that she once was. And for that to happen, pantyhose has to take on a smaller role in my life. That break with my past is a little heartbreaking - but exciting nonetheless, as my evolution as 'T' becomes more and more complete.

I sometimes see posts here expressing sentiments like "without pantyhose, it's just not dressing for me." I really used to feel that way. I thought things would never change. But today I came to the absolute realization that dressing for me is about so much more than just a few fetish-y items. And I'm so excited about that fact.

Anyways, just a weird bittersweet moment I had today, and I wanted to share with the group. Thanks for listening...

(:

[sandra-leigh]

The romance is gone out of the relationship? :heehee:

It is autumn, and I've started putting pantyhose (well, tights really) back on, even if I don't necessarily "need" them. Not ever day, to be sure. But just because you have a new favorite restaurant doesn't mean you can't go back from time to time to enjoy what you enjoyed before.

Lots of things are only fun when you don't have to do them.

[lingerieLiz]

When I was but a teen, girls only wore hose for special occasions. Bobby sox were worn for everyday. It was fun to feel your dates hand on your bare legs as his hand slid along them and you gently puched them back. Hose became common as I grew older. First garter belts and then panty girdles with the hooks under spandex. I have to admit that hands on hose are a great sensation for both particiipants.

I openly wore pantyhose for many years, but today seldom do. Most of my women friends don't wear them either except for special occasions to hide their vains. Truth be I enjoy wearing a dress without the hose as much as with.

[ArleneRaquel]

Pantyhose & I will go to the grave together.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I am curious, why did it bother your SO so much that you liked to wear pantyhose? I could see her getting annoyed if you were insisting she wear them, but I am not sure why it would bother her that you liked to wear them.

[Kaz]

Haven't worn pantyhose for months (except for a couple of photo opportunities)... and I know what you mean Kali. I am in a place where it is more about how I feel inside than what I am wearing... though I LOVE wearing anything femme! But it's starting to get cold and the stockings (current hose of choice) are going to be replaced by the all-in-ones any day soon! And once I start that will be it until March I guess!

We do reach a point though when it becomes, as the song says... more than a feeling!

[linda allen]

GGs in my area seldom wear pantyhose unless they are really dressed up for a special occasion. I can't remember the last time my wife wore a pair.

Of course, if you're a crossdresser and don't shave your legs (for whatever reason), pantyhose or tights are all that's left to cover or disguise your leg hair.

I think one of the main differences between the typical crossdresser and a GG (aside from the obvious) is that many crossdressers seem to have a fixation on hose and heels.

[Erica2Sweet]

Hi Kali. This was a wonderful read to wake up to on this foggy and dreary morning. :)

[GeminaRenee]

I am curious, why did it bother your SO so much that you liked to wear pantyhose? I could see her getting annoyed if you were insisting she wear them, but I am not sure why it would bother her that you liked to wear them.

I'm afraid I may have been misunderstood... it didn't bother her that I enjoyed pantyhose. In fact, she rather enjoyed those evenings when she would come home from work to find me lounging around doing homework in a pair. I think she just felt that it was her place to teach me about how a woman really would dress, since I obviously had no idea - just a fetishistic interpretation of the whole affair. And let's be honest, I don't think many GGs wear p-hose just for the fun of it. Like I said, at first I was resistant to the idea... but the more and more I got into dressing, the more I understood what she meant. She seed she planted began to grow.

Linda: I think you're absolutely right. Hose are a huge help for minimizing the leg hair problem. Happily, I abandoned mine for keeps about a year ago, so that's no longer a concern for me. Hose was definitely a fixation for me, though. I just think I ended up getting to wear it so much that it was no longer something special anymore. Well, not on my body anyways - if I see a nice pair of legs (that are not attached to me) encased in nylon, my engine still does begin to rev rather vociferously!

I'll still wear hose, don't get me wrong. In fact, just last week, I wore some with a little dress I have. I still found them perfectly comfortable, and absolutely still a part of the allure of getting dressed up. It's just the gratuitous hose-wearing that I feel so 'meh!' about. Don't cry, pantyhose - I think we can still be great friends!

(:

[Beverley Sims]

This is a story of advancement and moving on.
Enjoy your new experiences and wear hose when you see fit.
Like in the winterwhen it it cold.

[kimdl93]

I can understand younger women going without stockings. Flawless skin doesn't need to be hidden. Unfortunately, hose serves a purpose for those of us with less than perfect legs. I'm getting those little spider veins...ugh...gotta cover them with something!

[EllenJo]

Loved the post. I have always had a thing for hose also and still do to a certain extent. With winter coming on I wear them more than I really have to for warmth but they also cover up a multitude of sins on my legs. Even shaved my legs are not pretty. Baseball catcher in High School and College, several years of football, construction work, ect... My legs are banged up, scarred and starting to get those veiny things going. So for me hose is something that still helps with the feminine illusion that I so appreciate when dressed. I totally agree with you about only wearing them when appropiate but for me that is pretty much all of the time when dressed. And frankly I still love the swish of my skirt against my nylon encased legs on a cool fall evening.

[Jamie Christopher]

Great read Kali and I can relate as well. I grew up adoring pantyhose; they were what I reached for after the bra. As I've grown a bit, I do realize if I want to dress more like GGs these days, they're just not always going to be there (Daisy Duke I'm not).

Like you said, nothing like them when really dressed up, etc., but everyday, no. Makes me pay closer attention to my legs, applying lotion etc. Please understand pantyhose, my half slips and skirts are waiting....

Again, very well said.

Jamie

[~Joanne~]

Pantyhose & I will go to the grave together.

I agree with this completely but as Kali stated, there no point, unless for the extra warmth, to wear them if they aren't going to be visible. Fortunately, I am not at that point yet :)

[Barbara Ella]

Love hose.. Love the feel, even under pants. Don't wear pantyhose, but thigh highs work so well, and in all but the most maxi skirts, they are a must to look presentable here. totally get the concept of moving onward, as i am doing this with the clothes and not feeling the need to dress to the nines all the time to feel right.

Barbara

[Stephanie47]

I'll limit my comment to the general category of hosiery. First, I only wear pantyhose when under dressing because I know my thigh high stockings will eventually slip down my thighs to my knees or below. Unlike a woman unconsciously or automatically hiking her dress up to pull up/readjust her thigh highs, I cannot lower my pants and make an adjustment unless I hit the bathroom. I only wear thigh highs with my dresses. If I were a more outgoing woman (as in out of the home), I would probably wear pantyhose more often.

PS: Today I received my winning eBay bid:

Four pairs of Jockey Sheer & Comfortable Day Sheer High Cut Lace Control Top (Sheer Leg/Sheer Toe) in Tuxedo Black size D-Medium/Tall which fits up to 6 foot 2 and 190 lbs. Retail: $7.95 2/$14.00 Made In Canada.

Total cost: $11.25, including shipping

[Slip Affinity]

I love hose, whether it's panty or thigh highs style.

[Cristi]

I don't have much of a choice re: pantyhose when going out. I have some scarring on my legs that I can't cover with just makeup, but a bit of concealer with PH over it does the trick. I was out for the day this Summer in 90 degree temps and STILL had to wear them. It wasn't 'fun' by any means, but it allowed me to be out!

In the coldest months of Winter here in the NE, I wear tights almost every day and I DO get tired of the constricting feeling, but the added warmth/insulation is well worth it.

This fall, as it just starts to get chilly outside, I've found a third option. For the first time I've bought really nice quality knee-socks and they are perfect for under longer skirts (and under my pants at work) as the days get colder.

[GeminaRenee]

I feel compelled to mention that I consider stockings to be a separate entity from pantyhose. Stockings have all the glorious soft slinkiness of hose, without any of the excessive constriction of the ladyboy parts. Unfortunately, they are even less suitable for underdressing because of the aforementioned problem with them falling down... and I don't find that garters have terribly great chemistry with any kind of pants. If I could, I would always wear stockings with my skirts. Alas, my taste them almost always trends towards the slinky and short end of things - and because of that, hose will always have a special place in my wardrobe (and heart).

[Jamie Christopher]

Love and agree with your comments Kali! I do have a couple of 6 clip garters and under a skirt with nylons, well, there just isn't anything like it......for those special moments.....like when seated, and I reach down and feel one of those clips.....under my skirt.....

Jamie

[drushin703]

Great post Kali, but unlike you I couldn't consider myself "being dressed" without a pair of sheer pantyhose on. Perhaps this private worship or devotion to
ph is more psychological rote than divine law but I have found out one thing about crossdressing (not crossdressers) and that is that we all do it in out own
little way. What we all can agree on is that being full dressed enfemme is physical and emotional bliss, however temporary....

[Cynthia Anne]

I do not worship my hose! But that is the only kind of ''sock'' that I own! And I never go sockless!

[GeminaRenee]

Great post Kali, but unlike you I couldn't consider myself "being dressed" without a pair of sheer pantyhose on. Perhaps this private worship or devotion to
ph is more psychological rote than divine law but I have found out one thing about crossdressing (not crossdressers) and that is that we all do it in out own
little way. What we all can agree on is that being full dressed enfemme is physical and emotional bliss, however temporary....

Agreed! It's a funny thing, this passion that at once binds us, and at the same time makes us all unique.

Thanks everyone for the great responses. I wrote this one on a bit of a lark and wondered how it might be received.

(:

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kali, They can have my pantyhose when they tear them from my cold dead body.

[GeminaRenee]

AHHHHHH! My dearest Kali.....Therin lies the question of the ages...will they or will they not? (Sag...droop...fall...). HA! No. They won't. Fail you. The only way that these girls will fail you is if you 'fail' to secure them properly.

I've heard of embarrassing moments...GG's 'catching' their pantyhose and panties...walking out into the real world with buttocks showing...won't happen with stockings and garters...no way...and yes, Jamie, feeling those clips, under skirt or pant...is OH so ..............FUN! :)

And in many posts past...from me and countless others...I can reassure you...NO one looks at a guys pants for the 'clip outline'...oh for sure...we revel in it...but for the ignorant masses? Not gonna' happen my sweet! :battingeyelashes:

Au contraire, my dear! I've had plenty of pairs of those cheap-O elastic-y thigh highs that aren't intended for use with garters that stay up just fine - for about five minutes. And I wish I could say that I enjoyed the feel of garters under my guy pants - but I just don't. One of the commandments of my drab constitution is "Thou shalt not wear underpants of any kind, lest practical need or 'dry clean only' tags shall thusly dictate." It's a different kind of freedom, but one that I have nonetheless become very attached to. And I think that's one of the reasons I tend to eschew underdressing these days. What I do enjoy, what does give me a thrill is just dressing the way I want. I shiver delightedly at the feeling of being out at the grocery store with mascara on my lashes, or pumping gas while my pink toenails get some sun, or just walking about and enjoying the particular embrace of feminine-cut clothes on my figure. Underdressing? Pah! I done molted, baby!

:D

[GeminaRenee]

HahahahahahaHHHHAHH..but you miss my point. NOT those cheap-O's...we're talkin' FF and RHT nylons...the REAL 15 denier 60 guage nylons...well...you have no idea. Browse around...get my gist...

But I do have FF and RHT stockings. And I do absolutely love the way they are on my legs - when accompanied by a hot little dress, or the right selection of lingerie for the evening. :battingeyelashes:

But in guy mode? Count me out. Seems a shame to waste all that fine thread under my guy skins!

(:

[Meghan]

Kali,

I totally, totally understand. I have always been fascinated with them too. Until a few years ago they were a must have whenever Meghan was coming out to play. However, as you so beautifully stated, it was time for me to move on.

That's part of evolution and growth though. I have had to say goodbye to lots of things in my life, some happily and some with sadness. In order to evolve into who we want to be...we have to give up on some things we incorrectly thought we were, both good and bad.

Meghan

[5150 Girl]

Here's my thing, I can't stand any shoe of any kind (canvas sneekers included) without some kind of somthing between me and the shoe... Sox or hose, I gotta do somthing! I dn't have a sweat problem, it's just somthing about it I cna't put my finger on. I do have a couple sandles that very reluctantly recive a Mulligan.

[Diversity]

Hi Kali,
Thanks for sharing your story with us. I am still where you were months ago. I love wearing pantyhose, with panties and jeans. In fact, I've been out all day doing customer visits and smiling inside as I was en femme beneath. Perhaps this will change for me too, and you have given me something to consider, however, I am not there yet and am still in love with my pantyhose.
Di

[Amy Milnet]

There is nothing like wearing pantyhose and heels1