"The dream of constant okayness"

[elizabethamy]

Someone in another part of my world sent me this Pema Chodron quote, and I thought it belonged here, where we are all wrestling in different ways to define, find, or live our true lives.

"It’s not impermanence per se, or even knowing we’re going to die, that is the cause of our suffering... Rather, it’s our resistance to the fundamental uncertainty of our situation. Our discomfort arises from all of our efforts to put ground under our feet, to realize our dream of constant okayness. When we resist change, it’s called suffering. But when we can completely let go and not struggle against it, when we can embrace the groundlessness of our situation and relax into its dynamic quality, that’s called enlightenment, or awakening to our true nature, to our fundamental goodness."

I don't know about you, but I've spent way too many years trying to keep my feet on the ground in the search for "constant okayness." Which, in the end, is a form of self-denial, even though it doesn't feel like it day to day.

elizabethamy

[Inna]

Its like we deny to our selves the fundamental core of our being when we try so hard to plant our feet firmly on the ground without realizing we are the clouds!

[outhiking]

Well stated. Thanks to both of you.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i like it..

it describes how it feels for me now

thnx for sharing!

[Jonianne]

I think when you KNOW you are loved, unconditionally and you really start to love yourself, then constant OK'ness has good soil to grow. Dr. Joy Browne really summed it up well in this statement:

"Truly accepting yourself as you exist today, at this very moment, is one of the greatest acts of love and courage on the planet. Once you've done that, you can extend that acceptance to others as a gift that can be treasured for life! The giant exhalation, sigh of relief, lowering of shoulders, relaxing of gut and freeing of mind that comes with knowing, hey, I'm not a perfect person, but that's OK. Knowing you dont have to "ARRIVE" to be loved. It's OK to still be on the journey, tripping over the occasional stone. Accepting yourself is an act of empowerment as well. When you can let go of all the "shoulds" and "not good enoughs" that clutter up your life, you'll feel strong and healthy. Striving to live up to someone else's expectation is more exausting than chasing after septuplets! The moment you say to yourself 'I'm OK as is, not perfect, not without goals, but OK, the moment you really own that feeling, is the first moment you'll feel the high that comes with loving your ordinary, flawed, distinctive, caring, giving, taking, seeking, hiding, CONFLICTED self. This acceptance forms the solid foundation necessary to love and accept others. ...Right now, decide that you will accept yourself (perceived warts included) and will reject the tired old notion that you somehow have to fix yourself to be acceptable. ...Each time you hear an inner critical voice, replace it with a loving one. ...Note your successes. ...Surround your self with positive people. ...If someone has an issue they want to work out with you, they have every right to tell you how they feel - they don't have the right to tell you how you should be." FROM THE DR. JOY BROWNE NEWSLETTER 2/98.