I put on my big girl panties and told my doctor finally..long post

[Marleena]

Well actually I lied, I had boxers on and in guy mode.:heehee: So anyways I just got back from telling him and my face is still red..:o

Here's how the discussion went.

Me: I have a question for you, do you have any transgender patients?

Doc: No, but I have dealt with transgender people.

Me: Well you have one now, I'm a tranny and I'm on HRT it's been 5 months. Are you okay with that, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable.

Doc: No, I'm fine with it. Let's check your blood pressure.

So I hand him a picture (my profile pic) as proof.

Doc: He looks at it and asks if I have a boyfriend, or..

Me: No.. I like women and have a wife and she's okay with it. No worries about STD's or anything.

Doc: Are you going to have a sex change?

Me: No, I'm feeling great right now and it is mostly for up here (pointing to my head). I've been dealing with this for too long. To which he says "you finally decided to do something about it"..

Me: I do have privacy concerns though, My kids are your patients and I haven't told them. You have a lot of girls working here, what about them?

Doc: They aren't allowed to read patient files so you'll be fine. Who is the Endo that is treating you?

Me: Dr. so and so in blah blah blah..


I was embarrased but it was necessary to find out If I'd be treated any differently. Maybe this will help somebody else.

[Lorileah]

:^5::yahoo::cheer: Feels good no? Your doctor and my doctor must have been to the same classes. Same reaction, same questions. Mine said "be careful" though. I did everything to get her to tell me to stop...she basically said why would I? It was who I am, she noticed that my bloods and stats were better, I was happier. That was 5 years ago. Now she asks how I am doing and do I have any new pictures and am I being careful. I don't get it, she seems to be more concerned with my happiness and wanting me to live a long time, over my cute lace panties and nail polish:idontknow:

[Marleena]

:^5::yahoo::cheer: Feels good no? Your doctor and my doctor must have been to the same classes. Same reaction, same questions. Mine said "be careful" though. I don't get it, she seems to be more concerned with my happiness and wanting me to live a long time, over my cute lace panties and nail polish:idontknow:

Yep..I think so. I'm still a nervous wreck.:) He was the most difficult to deal with. I didn't have much time since it was a clinic visit. I'm sure he'll be thinking about this for a while.lol. I guess I can wear panties for my physical in January now.:D Another bonus is he does laser, botox, facial and skin treatments etc for women so I might be able to get rid of a few wrinkles.

I did do him a huge favor though. He can now say he treats transgender patients. It's a first for him that he can brag about.:)

[Rianna Humble]

Congratulations, Marleena, it is so liberating to be able to talk to a healthcare professional about this!

I must say, thought, that I had thought that the conversation was going to go slightly differently:


Me: I have a question for you, do you have any transgender patients?

Doc: No, but I have dealt with transgender people.


Me: WRONG! Try again! I'll even give you a hint: You are talking to her

:heehee:

[Jorja]

:clap2:Good job Marleena. Now you can go about your health care business without worry of them finding out your big secret.

[Marleena]

Congratulations, Marleena, it is so liberating to be able to talk to a healthcare professional about this!

I must say, thought, that I had thought that the conversation was going to go slightly differently:
:heehee:

Rianna I like your version much better and thanks.:)



:clap2:Good job Marleena. Now you can go about your health care business without worry of them finding out your big secret.

Thanks Jorja.:) Sometimes we create our own fears but have to break the walls down. Had all of the DR's I've dealt with been women it would be easier for me but they've all been men, even the darn pharmacist!

[PaulaAnn]

Well done Marleena;I bet you feel like you are on top of the world. I felt the same way when I told my doctor I was TG'd.
I was very fortunate in the fact my new doctor in Alberta has several TG'd girls as his patients. He is my sister's doctor and agreed to take me as a new patient .It's very comforting to have a doctor who understands my needs and knows I live as a woman 24/7/365.
Paula.

[melissaK]

Marleena, cool story, timely for me. I've had no reason to out myself to a MD, and still have that ahead. But that's going to end before years end I suspect. I have a bad shoulder (motorcycle accident 30 years ago) and this last weekend I moved wrong and the impingement got worse; time for an orthopedic consult.

I've had a few shoulder exams. My size B cup breasts will be sorta obvious. I am tempted to just not even mention it and see how long we go before someone mentions the elephant in the room. :-)

On a more serious note I have used annual physicals and associated blood work to monitor my self directed HRT impact on my liver and I'm way overdue for one. And I've never been all that comfortable doing HRT without a Dr. So it's time I too put on my big girl panties and got a Dr in the know.

Like you the privacy issue becomes important. I and my wife know a lot of the doctors in my town - some are ethically weaker than perhaps they should be, and in some circles a lack of discretion could cost me professionally. So I need everyone to do their jobs as they're supposed to. ;-)

Hugs,
'lissa

[ArleneRaquel]

Thanks for sharing Marleena. :):thumbsup:

[Barbara Ella]

Good for you Marleena. This is next up for me. Just started with a new GP for my physical last month and did not want to scare him right away, so will let a couple of visits sink in before springing this on him and asking for a consult. Even though they are professional, coming out to another live perosn who is not helping you with a blouse or pair of shoes can be hard. Glad it went well.

Barbara

[Nigella]

Way to go Marleena, lets face it though, if you have been on hormones for 5 months without him knowing, he would have noticed sooner or later. I doubt he would have asked you about it though, most Drs are professional enough to wait until they are told rather than ask.

[RADER]

You did the rite thing by telling the Doctor. You should give him a list of all med.'s you are taking;
That way he will not prescribe anything that might react with your current Rx's
Rader

[Kaz]

Well done Marleena, I bet that feels really good... wish I had the guts!

[Marleena]

Thanks everybody but I really was a big chicken here.:) I could have told him the first month but prolonged it out of fear. It takes at least 4 months to see him and be covered by provincial healthcare. I can only see him for new heath issues if they're serious enough. I had a reason today since I needed a new prescription for BP meds as he writes them for 120 days. He runs a clinic, has regular patients and does medical cosmetics. My Physical booked today won't get done until January for example.

He now has the Endo information and will be receiving that file too.

It was unfounded fear on my part so I just hope this helps others over the hurdle.

[kimdl93]

You are a big girl... ;) That was the responsible and forthright thing to do, particularly since your doc needs to know about things like HRT.

[elizabethamy]

Marleena, I second the bravos -- last spring I wanted my T checked to see if my newfound GID might possibly have been the result of a sudden middle age plummeting in T (it wasn't)...I had to confess to all manner of crossdressing and female thinking to the doctor to get the test done. As I spoke, I had all the symptoms of fear, the racing heart and the shaking and all, and as soon as I told her, it felt good and right, and I have never had anything but positive thoughts about my doctors knowing that I have this fundamental issue. They have no chance of treating the whole person if they don't know who she is!

Which outfit one wears to the doctor's office is another question...

[Inna]

Tough and nerve racking but you did it!!!

Small steps, one after the other, and lesson learned.....Never Say Never! :whew!:

[ReneeT]

While you didn't mention it, I'm sure, as your physician, he asked you what meds you are taking and what doses, right? Since he apparently did not prescribe them, he certainly asked who was, right? He must also have counseled you on the risks of het and various dosing regimens to reduce risk. I am sure he ordered appropriate labs, like a potassium if you are on spire, and he wants you back in 6 months to check a prolactin. He most certainly asked about your mental well-being, knowing the horrendously high rates of mood disorders and suicide in us trans folk. If he didn't address these issues, then like any 3rd year medical student would, he referred you to someone with competence in the field. Please tell me one of these is true!

[Persephone]

Thanks so much for posting, Marleena!

I'm planning on "coming out" to my long-term family physician later this week and your post has been a help in planning that.

Renee's post is also very helpful although my MD is already running routine potassium levels since she put me on low-dose spiro several months ago.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Diversity]

Good post and thanks for sharing this. Much appreciated.
Kind regards,
Di

[Marleena]

While you didn't mention it, I'm sure, as your physician, he asked you what meds you are taking and what doses, right? Since he apparently did not prescribe them, he certainly asked who was, right? He must also have counseled you on the risks of het and various dosing regimens to reduce risk. I am sure he ordered appropriate labs, like a potassium if you are on spire, and he wants you back in 6 months to check a prolactin. He most certainly asked about your mental well-being, knowing the horrendously high rates of mood disorders and suicide in us trans folk. If he didn't address these issues, then like any 3rd year medical student would, he referred you to someone with competence in the field. Please tell me one of these is true!

Hi Renee and thanks for your concern. My first step was to join a large TS group out of town that helps TS women find TS health care services in this province. Everything I've done is within Canadian health care guidelines. My endo is one of the best in the province. I will be seeing him in a couple weeks for follow up blood tests. He obviously is my go to guy. There are no transgender services in my own city. The closest ones are 120 miles away. This doctor is my family doctor and has been very thorough although he has no experience with TG patients. He will be getting lab reports from my endo.

Thanks for the replies everybody.:)

[ReneeT]

Hi Renee and thanks for your concern. My first step was to join a large TS group out of town that helps TS women find TS health care services in this province. Everything I've done is within Canadian health care guidelines. My endo is one of the best in the province. I will be seeing him in a couple weeks for follow up blood tests. He obviously is my go to guy. There are no transgender services in my own city. The closest ones are 120 miles away. This doctor is my family doctor and has been very thorough although he has no experience with TG patients. He will be getting lab reports from my endo.

Thanks for the replies everybody.:)

That is good to hear. its a good idea to keep your FP up to date on what's going on with your hrt.

[Traci Elizabeth]

I am happy for you Marleena. That is taking another good step in whatever path you choose to walk. Congrats!

[Marleena]

I am happy for you Marleena. That is taking another good step in whatever path you choose to walk. Congrats!

Thanks Traci. this is my second battle with GID, the first was when I was in my twenties but the proper help wasn't readily available back then. It's time for me to stop running from it.

My biggest hope is more parents recognize gender issues with their kids when they're young. They can help their kids have better lives without all of the internal conflict.

[LeaP]

I'm late to this thread, Marleena, but applaud your speaking with your physician! The result should be improved care all around.

[Marleena]

I'm late to this thread, Marleena, but applaud your speaking with your physician! The result should be improved care all around.

Thanks Lea! I asked my wife before I went "do you wanna bet he's never had a TG patient?" I would prefer an experienced TG doctor but that won't happen here. The endo has many years of treating TS patients and he's the most important one. My overall health is very good so that's a bonus right now.

[giuseppina]

I, too, am late to this thread. Congratulations. It is always best for everyone involved in your care, including you, the patient, knows the whole story.

My initial concerns with self-medication were resolved when you spoke about your endocrinologist.

Edit: It would be to your advantage to ask for a referral to a TG specialist. Just stay away from CAMH, the determining site for SRS eligibility. Our favourite specialists, Drs. B and Z practise there.

[Marleena]

Thanks for the reply Giuseppina. I'm actually going to go back and add the endo part to my original post as it is important. A referral to a TG doctor is not possible locally so I'll leave it in the hands of my endo for now to communicate with my family doctor. A therapist is not required in my case because I'm just fine with all of this.:)

[Claire Cook]

Hi Marleena,

Thanks for posting this. I've not begun HRT, but am considering it. Like you, I've told all of my doctors and my dentist about me, and that I've taken herbals and used progesterone cream on my breasts. They have all been very helpful -- my female GP even gave me a breast exam the last time I saw her (:)).

Well, since I haven't owned male underwear for years, I guess the boxer shorts are out....

[Sally24]

Good for you Marleena! It's very important to at least have your GP in on everything, both mental and physical. I told mine a number of years ago and asked about her comfort level with HRT. If I ever feel the need for it, she would want an Endo to prescribe and monitor it. I don't think I will go that route but I do like to plan for the future so I have options in place already. I only save my boy underwear (all 3 of them) for trips to Mom's house and Boy Scout campouts!:o

[~Seana~]

Congratulations Marleena.
Not many doctors DO have experience with TG patients. I went through much the same conversation with my own family doctor ( who is actually a coroner too) except he had had ONE TG patient but they ended up being somewhat problematic for him. But like most doctors was more than willing to refer to the right place if I could tell him where that is ( and I did).
Even in the larger cities (I'm in Ottawa) there are only a few who have experience in HRT and those that do it tends to be all they do is see TG patients. In the end he rightfully fessed up he had noexperience in administering HRT but was professional in getting me to someone that COULD. The family doctor conversation doesnt have to be as scary as we make it out to be in our minds. I put off for years because of this, and I want those years back! My advice to anyone delaying, put your big girl panties on and just do it.

Seana