How many time were you able to hide your transition?

[Saffron]

Once your started your transition, how long could you keep your "man look" until the changes are very noticeable?

I know time will differ based on age, treatment and such. I only trying to get an estimate.

[Jorja]

Once I made the decision I did not hide it at all. I went from being him to being her overnight and never looked back. I was 22 when I started transition.

[Frances]

Once your started your transition, how long could you keep your "man look" until the changes are very noticeable?

I know time will differ based on age, treatment and such. I only trying to get an estimate.

It kind of depends on how long people have known you and how often they see you.

I started hair removal a couple of years before going full-time. I could tell people I saw once in a while were noticing something. Strangers could only notice that I did not have much hair on my face. I had been on hormones for 5 months when the announcement was made at work. No one had noticed anything apart from my hair getting longer. They did not notice my beard disappearing or my skin getting softer. For them, it was like looking at a film frame by frame. They did not see the flow of the action.

Right before I went full-time (so two years of hair removal and five months or so of hormones), I went to a hospital appointment as a guy because I thought it would be easier. They did not believe that I was a guy and thought I had given them someone else's health insurance card.

So, it depends on who you are dealing with, on how often they see you and on how drastic the changes are. For me, the general public saw a women after 6 months when I still tried to pass as a guy and my collegues never did until I told them.

[arbon]

Some people who were not seeing me everyday were noticing changes after around 4-5 months, but were not able to really figure out what it was that was changing. For example I ran into one friend in the store that had not seen me in a bit and she said I looked different and later in the day she called my mom wondering if I had cancer or something (my mom had been becoming increasingly suspicious to after a while) - there were a few instances like that.

[CharleneT]

Once I started I did everything I could to not look like a guy ... so I can't help with the averages for you. How long before people read me as female consistently ?? Maybe a year ? I transitioned here, in a town where I have lived for 29 years at that point. So, I did whatever I could not to hide my transition. There was no point in hiding anymore.

[sandra-leigh]

I've been wearing (not necessarily obvious) female clothes full time for more than 4 years. I've been on HRT since January 2011 and never hid my A-ish breast development. My hair is past my shoulder. I've been wearing dangling earrings for 3+ years.

But it is pretty uncommon for anyone to refer to me as female, even when I am in a dress, carrying an obvious purse, and wearing lipstick. People automatically say "Sir" for me (at least if they've seen my face.) But it is automatic, not malicious or "putting me in my place", and it seems to be without thought of what gender I am or what title is appropriate.

What I have going for me is that few people "mind" or are surprised. As if people's automatic assessment is that the way I am is what is appropriate for me. Well, except possibly groups of high-school kids; they give me funny looks... that they don't give me when they pass me individually.

[StephanieC]

Once I started I did everything I could to not look like a guy . Me too! I think the process can only be described as "glacial". I really don't get serious comments one way or the other other than comments about looking young.

-stephani

[EnglishRose]

I'm one year on hormones and still get sir'd most of the time when presenting male. Which is most of the time. However people seeing me as female even in guy baggy shirt and jeans has been on the rise. :)

[noeleena]

Hi,

I never hid what i was going through, yes there were some body changes takeing place. the fact is there would be very little i could hid even if i had wonted to because of being so well known , so i told those at the time of those changes,

Till the time to allow others to be a part of my life, so by the media it was all over in a day, & saved me so much trouble .

Every one knew with in 24 hours nation wide, fact is most knew with in 1 / 2 an hour,

& any way where could i go or hide, not posible here, our grape vine is to good for that,

& when you have so many friends,

Both Jos & i are very pleased with how things turned out , though we both were very uncertain at the time of going to air,

it all has worked out well.

...noeleena...

[Aprilrain]

I could pass for male until I had FFS. I tried hard to look as feminine as posible but sex differentiated facial feature recognition is hard wired into us humans. I didn't have a particularly masculine face but enough cues were there that some people noticed especially when I was too lazy to wear makeup. I almost never wear makeup now and never get sir'ed.

[Inna]

it really depends on individuals age and effort put forth to assimilate. I was slow in forcing the issue onto the unsuspecting world around me, so for the first 2 years I simply did what I had to do, take soy based hormones (which did work, not as forcefully as meds though) and dressed appropriately for staying neutral. The third year came and I was getting way more comfortable and rather impatient with progress and started HRT. Pharmaceuticals did kick in and after 2 year exposure to PhytoEstrogens I was so ready that changes came rushing in. But in retrospect, just as many have stated above, first 2 years were simply slow progress, getting thinner because of the diet, getting fat redistribution on Estrogens, slow and rather minimal growth in the breast area though some, thinning waist, loss of muscle mass. All that made folks question what the changes were about, but NOT single one had ever suspected Gender Variant, Never!

Once on HRT after about 5 months I started get maamed a lot, but the effort to present female did escalate as well, mind you I was still wearing jeans and Tshirts and flat non gender specific shoes, so that gender recognition was all in the face.
Once FFS was performed, about 6-7 months after healing process, which by the way keeps on healing way past that, I started to be seen as a natural born woman. In fact after one year after FFS, people who knew me for past 25 years would end up talking to me face to face, and the guys would start hitting on me if I have not forced the issue of my former avatar. I often had fun doing this, it was precious to see their face after I would whisper to their ear.................

[morgan51]

I'm over 5 years into transition 2 + of hormones 100 hrs of electrolisys , small breasts developing,and I know in my heart it will take ffs to make anyone see female when they look at me. I have little hair so a wig is manditory. There have been a few subtle changes and once in a while I do get mamed but for the most part folks just still see male. I am 61 years of age so can't expect too much. lol

[Traci Elizabeth]

Once I made the decision I did not hide it at all. I went from being him to being her overnight and never looked back. I was 22 when I started transition.

Like Jorja, from the day I made my decision, the very next day I went from male mode to female mode 24/7. But I have always looked more feminine than male all my life. If anything, in male mode I could have been easily misidentified as being a fem gay. I never was but that's totally besides the point.

My point being is that I looked feminine all along and transition into womanhood was seamless. So it had nothing to do about how long before my female self began to show that I could no longer present as male.

[Saffron]

it really depends on individuals age and effort put forth to assimilate. I was slow in forcing the issue onto the unsuspecting world around me, so for the first 2 years I simply did what I had to do, take soy based hormones (which did work, not as forcefully as meds though) and dressed appropriately for staying neutral. The third year came and I was getting way more comfortable and rather impatient with progress and started HRT. Pharmaceuticals did kick in and after 2 year exposure to PhytoEstrogens I was so ready that changes came rushing in. But in retrospect, just as many have stated above, first 2 years were simply slow progress, getting thinner because of the diet, getting fat redistribution on Estrogens, slow and rather minimal growth in the breast area though some, thinning waist, loss of muscle mass. All that made folks question what the changes were about, but NOT single one had ever suspected Gender Variant, Never!

Once on HRT after about 5 months I started get maamed a lot, but the effort to present female did escalate as well, mind you I was still wearing jeans and Tshirts and flat non gender specific shoes, so that gender recognition was all in the face.
Once FFS was performed, about 6-7 months after healing process, which by the way keeps on healing way past that, I started to be seen as a natural born woman. In fact after one year after FFS, people who knew me for past 25 years would end up talking to me face to face, and the guys would start hitting on me if I have not forced the issue of my former avatar. I often had fun doing this, it was precious to see their face after I would whisper to their ear.................

Could I ask you at around what age did you start?

Your story is very similar to my plan.

I'm mostly concerned for my actual job, during the start of transition, I do not want to tell.

[Aprilrain]

Saffron, if your past puberty HRT is really a crap shoot If your in your early 20s you will probably get decent results but HRT dosen't change your bone structure so your face stays pretty much the same (maybe a little softer) hair removal will do more to feminized your face than HRT will. But if your tall you will still be tall , if you have broad sholders you will still have broard sholders, your feet and hands will be less veiny and you will lose some muscle tone but theymwill still be pretty much the same size and shape they are now. As far as boobs go ya just never know but a good rule of thumb is to go 2 cup sizes smaller than the natal females in your family. You should probably think about the drastic emotional and mental changes that are more likely to happen than any minor phyisical changes your likely to have.

[Stephenie S]

Saffron? Listen to April.

The drastic emotional and mental changes are far more likely what you will have to deal with. And sweetie? You CAN'T plan this all out beforehand. It will never go like you think. Just DO it. By the time you are done you will know all about it, but now? You have no idea and you will never know until you have experienced it.

Just do it.

S

[Inna]

Hi Safron, I was 42 at an onset, but if your plan is to start and not tell, that is just fine, however I have discovered the incredible principal of life, that when you allow just a tiny bit of truth out, the rest will most likely rip the solid walls of a dam and spew entire truth in a short while.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

its a sensible question but frankly there is not a good answer that works every time

you can't control the impact emotionally or physically of HRT.. only you know the consequence of people finding out or suspecting what you are up to..only you can gauge how getting found out before you are ready (this is a very big deal!! transition is hard...people that matter to you "finding out" can easily cause negativity and pressure on you)....

maybe there are guidelines...it will surely take months for HRT to really kick in.. it probably will have a much quicker and bigger impact on your breasts than anything else ...without ffs, its very unlikey people will notice in your face, plucking your eyebrows will have a much bigger impact than HRT on your face... it will probably knock your sex drive down and within 6 months or so it might be painful and difficult to get stimulated...without testosterone blockers the impacts of HRT may be very small

[Saffron]

I'm not gonna hide it from family and friends, it's only my actual job where I don't want to say nothing, at least for now.

My mom already knows and I'm going this month to hospital to start the treatment, though public healthcare system.

Thank you all for the info :-)

[Stephenie S]

The plain fact is that you can't hide a transition. There is absolutely no question about this.

If you are hiding, you aren't transitioning.

Stephie

[Badtranny]

Hmmmm, I started growing my hair in January of 2010, I had the first round of lipo in March, started HRT that summer, started losing a lot of weight, was out to the world (except work and family) by the end of that year. Pierced my ears January 2011 and was officially out to work and family by summertime.

I think you have a good year before you have to start explaining things. I was already openly gay and people were still asking questions about my appearance after awhile.

[Jorja]

The plain fact is that you can't hide a transition. There is absolutely no question about this.

If you are hiding, you aren't transitioning.

Stephie

I agree with this 100%

[Badtranny]

I agree with this 100%

Except for those of us who actually did hide our transitions for the first year or two while we planned the "professional" coming out.

Being as how my name change is now final (birth certificate showed up last weekend) and I have been full time for several months, surely you wouldn't suggest I wasn't transitioning. I believe that boat has left the station.

[Stephenie S]

Well OK, BT. I see your point. You're transitioned.

But I will maintain you weren't transitioned until you were out. For this discussion is there a difference between transitioned and transitioning?

Stephie

[ReneeT]

I agree with this 100%

I respectfully disagree - totally. There is no doubt that I am transitioning. I have been on hrt for 21 months, i have been in counseling for 3 yrs, i have completed almost 200 hrs of electrolysis, travelled across the country for multiple ffs consults, have come out to my wife and children, and am now separated as a direct result of my transition. I live full time in my acknowledged gender, except in two environments: with my immediate family in public situations, and in my workplace. Why stealth with my family? I have a teenaged daughter who is a senior in high school and will graduate in the spring, and has asked if i could present as male in situations where i can be associated with her so as to avoid unnecessary social trauma before graduation. If you have teenagers, you probably understand this. Why at work? Because I am a senior executive in a large health services company who is planning on transitioning in place, in a very public role. There is no room for "in between in this organization in my position - I present either convincingly male or unquestionably female. I have been engaged with corporate D and I as well as HR for 6 months, planning my transition at work, which will occur upon return from ffs in June 2013, 221 days from now.

So, am I not transitioning? I think not. I am, however, transitioning in a thoughtful, well-planned fashion to maximize my success and minimize adverse effects, especially to those closest to me. Transitioning is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. If I worked in an environment with strong protections and I had no family to consider, a fully open transition would be possible. If, however, one insists that IU am not transitioning presently, i will have the shortest transition imaginable - i day - the day of ffs.......

[Badtranny]

Transitioning is not a one-size-fits-all proposition...

I agree with this 100% ;-)

...by the way, send me whatever pics you have of me from your visit.

[Jorja]

Except for those of us who actually did hide our transitions for the first year or two while we planned the "professional" coming out.

Being as how my name change is now final (birth certificate showed up last weekend) and I have been full time for several months, surely you wouldn't suggest I wasn't transitioning. I believe that boat has left the station.


I respectfully disagree - totally. There is no doubt that I am transitioning. I have been on hrt for 21 months, i have been in counseling for 3 yrs, i have completed almost 200 hrs of electrolysis, travelled across the country for multiple ffs consults, have come out to my wife and children, and am now separated as a direct result of my transition. I live full time in my acknowledged gender, except in two environments: with my immediate family in public situations, and in my workplace. Why stealth with my family? I have a teenaged daughter who is a senior in high school and will graduate in the spring, and has asked if i could present as male in situations where i can be associated with her so as to avoid unnecessary social trauma before graduation. If you have teenagers, you probably understand this. Why at work? Because I am a senior executive in a large health services company who is planning on transitioning in place, in a very public role. There is no room for "in between in this organization in my position - I present either convincingly male or unquestionably female. I have been engaged with corporate D and I as well as HR for 6 months, planning my transition at work, which will occur upon return from ffs in June 2013, 221 days from now.

So, am I not transitioning? I think not. I am, however, transitioning in a thoughtful, well-planned fashion to maximize my success and minimize adverse effects, especially to those closest to me. Transitioning is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. If I worked in an environment with strong protections and I had no family to consider, a fully open transition would be possible. If, however, one insists that IU am not transitioning presently, i will have the shortest transition imaginable - i day - the day of ffs.......

Ok I will revise my statement. I agree with this 98%. That leaves some wiggle room. :)

[ReneeT]

Ok I will revise my statement. I agree with this 98%. That leaves some wiggle room. :)

OK - I'll go with that!

[ReneeT]

Once your started your transition, how long could you keep your "man look" until the changes are very noticeable?

I know time will differ based on age, treatment and such. I only trying to get an estimate.

So, to your original question..... like most things, it depends. I was able to look 100% manly man for the first 12 months of hrt with appropriate clothing and a compression top. Only if you looked closely at my ears, noticing that they are pierced, or noticed my thin shaped brows behind my glasses might something seem amiss. Now, though, I only do a so so job of hiding my femininity, and it doesnt take much to be called ma'am, even in somewhat androgynous guy clothes. Despite suit and tie attire, my facial changes, lack of any apparent facial hair, loss of muscle mass, etc etc causes some puzzled looks. This is honestly the hardest time for me so far- the being in the middle, not looking fully male or fully female. I am so ready to be over this!

[Badtranny]

This is honestly the hardest time for me so far- the being in the middle, not looking fully male or fully female. I am so ready to be over this!

Yes, that was the hardest time for me too. Though I didn't quite look as fem as you do. ;-)

[Saffron]

It's pretty clear to me that the time in the middle will be the worst of all.

But in the end, I don't care, I'll do whatever is necessary.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I give you credit Melissa and Renee..I took a leave of absence(which i knew i would never come back from) in order to avoid the time in the middle...in my defense i had a high profile job so it would have been a very in your face time, and i was worried about my kids, but in hindsight, i sometimes wish i gutted it out...

but for me, any means neccessary meant that i had to step back and do my transition mostly in private...i was blessed to be able to do that in some ways, but i think you guys are blessed that you have to do it the other way around and now you are getting the wonderful benefits of being stronger than me.

btw, for what its worth, i did do hrt for 6 months prior to taking my leave, and over about 18 months i was plucking eyebrows and losing weight.. i asked some folks about what they noticed, and every single person said they "noticed" and not one of them said they thought "ts or cd"...

[Katelyn B]

I did it slightly differently to most I guess, I transitioned to 24 / 7 including work 3 months prior to starting HRT, so when I did start about a month ago, no one really commented as they'd already had the two big events, firstly being told by HR then my first day as the real me. I came out to my friends about a year ago and since then they haven't seen "him" since, so I never tried to hide it, it became too painful and distressing to deal with the duality.

[Badtranny]

but for me, any means necessary meant that i had to step back and do my transition mostly in private...i was blessed to be able to do that in some ways, but i think you guys are blessed that you have to do it the other way around and now you are getting the wonderful benefits of being stronger than me...

Well, I'll take it but I may as well admit that if I had the option, I would have done it your way in a heartbeat. I'm still kinda in the middle in some ways and the worst part about it is; there's not a damn thing I can do about it. ;-)

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Once I made my desion I did not hold nothing back revealed my true femmine self.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Well, I'll take it but I may as well admit that if I had the option, I would have done it your way in a heartbeat. I'm still kinda in the middle in some ways and the worst part about it is; there's not a damn thing I can do about it. ;-)

I gotta figure out a way to start a business with you...

[Mariah]

When I started, I had already came out to my family and told them what was going on. For the most part after starting HRT it took about 7 months before some people noticed and was like a full year- year and a half before I was out to everyone and went full time shortly after that. I'm was young then (24-25) and I'm fat so I had the advantage of being able to hide it as man boobs and being a introvert I stayed in side a lot and that was a good reason my skin looked smooth and light.

[Badtranny]

I gotta figure out a way to start a business with you...

LOL

I've heard that before. ;-)

In fact just last weekend a guy said he needed me to do some kind of job for him.

[sandra-leigh]

In fact just last weekend a guy said he needed me to do some kind of job for him.

He needed you to receive goods and payments and send most of the money elsewhere??? Well don't you go listening to him, gal, 'cuz I already got that territory!