whowhatwhen
09-28-2012, 01:48 PM
Okay, so my therapist and I discussed yesterday planning how to come out to my family.
I liked her suggestion of writing out what I wanted to say along with possible responses to questions and I wondered what suggestions you all may have.
Obviously the hardest part, the introduction is the hardest part and I still need to figure out how to say it, but I do have the possible Q/A stuff done.
Introduction:
// TODO:
// Write me!
Possible questions/responses:
Q: Do you want to be a woman?
A: It's not so much "want to be", as it is "am I?"
Q: When did this start?
A: It's always been there, and after years of trying to put it away I've realized that I must accept and come to terms with it as part of myself.
Q: Are you gay?
A: I can find both sexes physically attractive to some degree, but at this point I won't say anything 100% in either direction until I have more experience.
Q: Why can't you be happy as a man?
A: I wish I could, if I did I would be $1200+ richer and not opening up myself to tons of stress and potential hurt. Besides, being a man feels fake, like I'm only doing it because I'm expected to and I would rather express myself as I really am on the inside.
Q: A woman?
A: There is a definite and permanent female component to myself. Part of the reason I started seeing a therapist was to see if it's just a part of myself or it actually is myself.
Q: Did your therapist put you up to this?
A: That's not how therapy works for gender issues, no therapist would try to tell you who or what you are. She is there for me to talk to and support me as I discover for myself, and I owe my reduced stress level and better health to her being there.
Q: Is that why you're growing your hair, carrying a purse, and had your ears pierced?
A: Yes. Though the last two have nothing to do with gender as much as they are being comfortable and in control of myself despite the potential negativity of others.
Q: So you're going to start wearing women's clothes now?
A: Eventually, but I need to be more confident in my appearance as female before I allow myself. Likely it will be after a few facial hair removal sessions and my hair has grown out a bit more.
Q: Do you plan on going out in public like that?
A: Yes. I'm not planning on living my life around the opinions of strangers, I do not plan on looking like a man solely for the benefit of people I don't know and will never see again.
Q: I guess I'm not getting any grandchildren then?
A: That's not necessarily true, but personally I've never really had any interest in being a father regardless. Sorry.
Q: Is this my fault?
A: No, things just don't work that way and it was just an unfortunate roll of the dice that I was born male. You raised me very well up here (*point to head*), my body is not anyone's fault.
What do you think?
Are there any places to improve, or, what did you experience trying to come out to family?
I'm hoping to do this within a week or so, it's going to be impossible to move forward unless I stop lying to them. Plus I want to start voice training and there isn't a good lie anywhere to explain that away.
:P
I liked her suggestion of writing out what I wanted to say along with possible responses to questions and I wondered what suggestions you all may have.
Obviously the hardest part, the introduction is the hardest part and I still need to figure out how to say it, but I do have the possible Q/A stuff done.
Introduction:
// TODO:
// Write me!
Possible questions/responses:
Q: Do you want to be a woman?
A: It's not so much "want to be", as it is "am I?"
Q: When did this start?
A: It's always been there, and after years of trying to put it away I've realized that I must accept and come to terms with it as part of myself.
Q: Are you gay?
A: I can find both sexes physically attractive to some degree, but at this point I won't say anything 100% in either direction until I have more experience.
Q: Why can't you be happy as a man?
A: I wish I could, if I did I would be $1200+ richer and not opening up myself to tons of stress and potential hurt. Besides, being a man feels fake, like I'm only doing it because I'm expected to and I would rather express myself as I really am on the inside.
Q: A woman?
A: There is a definite and permanent female component to myself. Part of the reason I started seeing a therapist was to see if it's just a part of myself or it actually is myself.
Q: Did your therapist put you up to this?
A: That's not how therapy works for gender issues, no therapist would try to tell you who or what you are. She is there for me to talk to and support me as I discover for myself, and I owe my reduced stress level and better health to her being there.
Q: Is that why you're growing your hair, carrying a purse, and had your ears pierced?
A: Yes. Though the last two have nothing to do with gender as much as they are being comfortable and in control of myself despite the potential negativity of others.
Q: So you're going to start wearing women's clothes now?
A: Eventually, but I need to be more confident in my appearance as female before I allow myself. Likely it will be after a few facial hair removal sessions and my hair has grown out a bit more.
Q: Do you plan on going out in public like that?
A: Yes. I'm not planning on living my life around the opinions of strangers, I do not plan on looking like a man solely for the benefit of people I don't know and will never see again.
Q: I guess I'm not getting any grandchildren then?
A: That's not necessarily true, but personally I've never really had any interest in being a father regardless. Sorry.
Q: Is this my fault?
A: No, things just don't work that way and it was just an unfortunate roll of the dice that I was born male. You raised me very well up here (*point to head*), my body is not anyone's fault.
What do you think?
Are there any places to improve, or, what did you experience trying to come out to family?
I'm hoping to do this within a week or so, it's going to be impossible to move forward unless I stop lying to them. Plus I want to start voice training and there isn't a good lie anywhere to explain that away.
:P