Stopped shaving my legs... for now.

[Shadeauxmarie]

I stopped shaving my legs a couple of weeks ago. My wife of course knew I shaved them, but she thought that shaving my legs would lessen my desire to dress. Well, it hasn't. The feeling of nylons on my freshly shaved legs has always made me feel good.

About a month ago, in therapy with my wife, she allowed I could dress in the computer room only, when she wasn't home, no pictures to be left on the computer. I agreed. The only place I could keep my clothes was in the computer room closet. DADT was a marvelous step forward for me. I was ecstatic.

We are going on a cruise with some friends in November. I decided to stop shaving my legs so that I will be suitably furry then. She has not yet noticed. I intend to start shaving them, and the rest of my sasquatch-like body, after we return.

I know the furry legs are only temporary, but I hope it leads to increased happiness for her.

Would you undertake to give up some aspect of cross-dressing, that she might not notice, on the chance it would make your SO happier if she did?

[JohnH]

In my humble opinion your wife is being totally unreasonable. I think it is really stupid that she expects you to have furry legs.

I feel free to wear a denim skirts publicly when I shop, and I wear dresses at home. and I also keep the dress on when I take out the trash.

I do make it a point to not wear a dress when my wife comes home from work and she has to unwind. Only after she puts on a nightgown to relax in do I put on a dress.

John

[heatherdress]

I don't think that doing something, or not doing something, that she will not notice will have an impact. If she does notice that you have also stopped shaving your legs, it might, in fact, have the opposite effect. If you stop shaving your legs for your trip, don't expect anything more to come from it. Good luck.

[Taylor186]

Good for you Shadeauxmarie, that you are doing this so your wife might feel more comfortable during your trip. And, it's not totally unreasonable of your wife as she didn't even ask for it. There is no question she will notice and be relieved when hanging with your friends.

Negotiation and compromise are the ingredients of a successful relationship.

[Diversity]

My SO always takes priority over my CD'ing. Sometimes it is frustrating, but I will always put her happiness above my dressing desires, since we have agreed to mutually acceptable boundaries.
Di

[Launa]

It might not be that easy to get the wife's "buy in" to shave everything again. Once your wife sees you hairy again and then you loose the hair again, it can bring back all those same feelings and debates you had the first time you did it. Just be prepared it might not go over any easier 2nd time around.

[STACY B]

My wife can care less ,,Smooth or Hairy ,,,, Look a Smooth Goof ball -----------NO,,,No,,,, A hairy Goofball ,,,, Never mind that's just my Goofball ,,,, Thought for a Min it was something new ? She is not easily Entertained ,,,I spoiled her ,,,What cha exspect ,,, Its like watching the same show on TV,,, I have to come up with new ways to SHOCK her ,,,An it's not easy ,,,, What next ?

[carriecatgirl]

I had this awesome post then deleted uggg.. As an So I would notice that you had stopped shaving especially since its a rough spot for me and my so. I m okay with a lot of things but this one makes me feel inadequate about myself and brings in jealousy. Yes i know kinda petty of me. So perhaps she is feeling hurt when you shave all the time. Maybe body hair is a turn on for her. It is for me. I love body hair on my so. We still do trim ups especially in the summer where I use the electric shaver and trim the hair down and I used to wax him in certain areas but I love the feel of body hair. I m in a weird area for now.. I want to be further along with things but we all go at our own paces. For now this is where I am wish i could be of more help.

[Shadeauxmarie]

Well, as far as the body hair being a turn on, she has reached a point in her life where sex isn't important to her anymore. I know she has withheld sex from me recently as "punishment" for my cross-dressing. Several nights ago she had a climax the likes of which she hadn't had in years.

I said, "I bet you didn't think you had that in you anymore, did you?"
"Yes I did, I just didn't want you to have it," she replied.

I'll wait for a good time this weekend to approach her about that comment. I'll also be sure to let our therapist know.

[carriecatgirl]

hugs I m sorry that she said that.. That comment would really hurt anyone and everyone. I m glad your going to talk to her about it. Hugs

[Momarie]

Well, as far as the body hair being a turn on, she has reached a point in her life where sex isn't important to her anymore. I know she has withheld sex from me recently as "punishment" for my cross-dressing. Several nights ago she had a climax the likes of which she hadn't had in years.

I said, "I bet you didn't think you had that in you anymore, did you?"
"Yes I did, I just didn't want you to have it," she replied.

I'll wait for a good time this weekend to approach her about that comment. I'll also be sure to let our therapist know.

Tread carefully,
It doesn't seem to me, sex is as un-important to her, as you would like to think.

So "tell" on your spouse to your therapist, you just might be surprised at the response.

And by the way, not shaving your legs might seem like "a great sacrifice" to you but may just seem normal to her, so don't expect it to "lead to increased happiness for her".

[heatherdress]

. I hope you have a good therapist. Shaving your legs is not much of an issue, but punishing you is. Please - look out for yourself.

[JenniferD]

i started shaving my legs because I rode bicycles...now it is the perfect excuse when someone notices they are hairless...

[Momarie]

Riding bicycles, swimming, etc.etc.etc. doesn't really fool too many.

Especially when you factor in trimmed/shaped brows, nail care mani/pedi, shaved arms etc. and a host of other clues.

Nothing wrong with it or your looking nice.
Just don't fool yourself....because others aren't fooled by it.

Be yourself and know when others see you, they know.....and like you for who you are.

[Shadeauxmarie]

I am sure that some people who saw me this summer knew I shaved my legs. Jumping straight from shaved legs to cross-dressing? Probably not.

Anyway, I will begin again after the cruise. I am still debating over whether or not to shave above the waist. The only reason I wouldn't, is if she said something negative about it.

[janet p]

these friends you are going with have they seen you with shaved legs before, won't they wonder why you now have hairy legs?

[STACY B]

Already told you Lady's how to counter the ol shaved legs problem ? Paint your toe nails a Bright Color ,,,Works every time ,,,LOL,,,, They have NEVER noticed my legs are Smooth !! Pretty Sneaky ,,,Huh,,,,,?

[Shadeauxmarie]

these friends you are going with have they seen you with shaved legs before, won't they wonder why you now have hairy legs?

Not these friends. All GG friends of my wife. One of them is our friend, but none have ever seen me minus fur.

[Jason+]

Well, as far as the body hair being a turn on, she has reached a point in her life where sex isn't important to her anymore. I know she has withheld sex from me recently as "punishment" for my cross-dressing. Several nights ago she had a climax the likes of which she hadn't had in years.

I said, "I bet you didn't think you had that in you anymore, did you?"
"Yes I did, I just didn't want you to have it," she replied.

I'll wait for a good time this weekend to approach her about that comment. I'll also be sure to let our therapist know.

Aside from the direct, deliberate and intentional hurtfulness of the statement I'd say sex is still plenty important to her. What doesn't seem to be very important to her is your role in it.


Tread carefully,
It doesn't seem to me, sex is as un-important to her, as you would like to think.

So "tell" on your spouse to your therapist, you just might be surprised at the response.

And by the way, not shaving your legs might seem like "a great sacrifice" to you but may just seem normal to her, so don't expect it to "lead to increased happiness for her".

It needs to "told" to somebody for certain. The office of the therapist is probably the safest place to have that conversation and have either party get anything out of it. If I dodge the obvious control technique (taking Shadeauxmarie at her word on this since I don't have the wife's side) of granting/denying sex to modify behavior I'm left with the fact that people have needs whether they are the wife or the cross dresser.

If the wife's needs whether for sex or for an emotional connection go unmet in the marriage for long enough they will be met in some fashion if or when the need is great enough.

As for not shaving the legs for the trip if you're are at DADT and grudgingly at that from the sound she is still holding on to some hope that you may one day come to your senses and just give it all up. I think not shaving for the trip and then increasing the things you do shave when you get home will get her hopes up and then miserably backfire when you return home.

[Duana]

I know the furry legs are only temporary, but I hope it leads to increased happiness for her.


If you want to increase her happiness, you have 2 choices. Stop dressing forever or let her go.



Would you undertake to give up some aspect of cross-dressing, that she might not notice, on the chance it would make your SO happier if she did?

Hell no! I'd rather be alone than be with someone who tells a grown man what he can where and when or whether or not I can shave the hair off my own body. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds when you say it out loud? And women argue that they can abort a man's baby because "it's her body." LOL

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well, as far as the body hair being a turn on, she has reached a point in her life where sex isn't important to her anymore. I know she has withheld sex from me recently as "punishment" for my cross-dressing. Several nights ago she had a climax the likes of which she hadn't had in years.

I said, "I bet you didn't think you had that in you anymore, did you?"
"Yes I did, I just didn't want you to have it," she replied.

I'll wait for a good time this weekend to approach her about that comment. I'll also be sure to let our therapist know.Ouch! That doesn't sound good to me.

For myself and my GF, she doesn't much care whether i shave or not, whatever makes me happy. Stubble, on the other hand.......:sad: