The CURE for what ails you?

[Wildaboutheels]

Make that, what ANNOYS [seemingly] most of you.

Come to Florida for a vacation. At least a day. Long enough to sit in or walk around any mall or large store or public place. And then claim that "society does not accept us". Seems to me that if EASILY 95% or better don't even bat an eye..."society does not accept us" simply does not fly.

If you are waiting for things to "get better" you might be in for a long wait.

"We have met the enemy and he is us".

I'm pretty sure POGO ^^^ was referring to CDers.

Just don't look for any temps in the 40s until at least late November in Central Florida, home of Mickey's World and Sea World. And don't forget your shorts and skirts and dresses.

[STACY B]

They Don't get it ,,,,,They Don't ,,, An you can't change there minds ! Hey I don't even worry about it ,,, As long as we have the Worriers we don't an Won't have to wait in line at the salon ,,,Shoe store ,,Fitting room ,, Hair salon,, Makeup counter ,, An all the other places . If you go an hang around the Burn Barrel at ya Ol Buddys house SURE yull get Razed an laughed at ,,,I would laugh at ya myself ,,, Just like if you wore a swim suit to the theater ? Now if you go to a place an you are dressed right what the problem ? Oh well ,,,, Come on we can go ,,,Ill get my purse ,,,,,,

[Beverley Sims]

I may be sloooow! but I thought florida would be ok .
At least faaar south in key west seems ok.
Maybe Jupiter, Fort lauderdale and dizzy world aren't accepting?

[Jenniferathome]

I have noticed in the vast majority of your posts, you seem to be spouting a "coming out is our obligation" kind of theme. This post is no different. You are confusing "acceptance" with "not freaking out.". People in general, do not notice anything around them. THAT shouldn't be confused acceptance. While I do not think a crossdresser is particularly offensive (I am not objective here) crossdressing is so far out of the norm that it cannot be "accepted" by the "public."

[Sara Jessica]

You are confusing "acceptance" with "not freaking out.". People in general, do not notice anything around them. THAT shouldn't be confused acceptance.

I'll take OP's form of acceptance any day of the week rather than it's opposite...ridicule.

I cannot control what happens in my wake when I'm out & about. Does paint peel? I doubt it. Do children cry? Haven't heard any yet but for gosh's sake, they can read one of us from a mile away. Do people snicker amongst one another at the TG they perceive in their midst. Probably more often than we care to know. Do we make for conversation at their dinner table that evening? Highly likely. But regardless, all of this is out of our control and while we shouldn't be pushy as to anyone's decision to brave this wonderful world of ours, tales such as this are true anecdotes of what can be expected, particularly if one presents in a manner consistent with time, place, event, weather, etc.

[AllieSF]

"While I do not think a crossdresser is particularly offensive (I am not objective here) crossdressing is so far out of the norm that it cannot be "accepted" by the "public."

I am sorry Jennifer but I disagree with this statement that crossdressing cannot be accepted by the public. I do agree that tolerance and acceptance are two different things with tolerance being the predominant one. Some people may not ever tolerate nor accept crossdressing by anybody, while others will not only tolerate but also accept dressing in others, but not their own family or personal friends. Then there are those rare few that will accept dressing by someone close to them. I still say that the more of us out there in whatever shape or form, passing or not, dressing appropriately or not, will make it better for everyone over the long term. We need to take that strangeness concept out of the public's perceptions.

[STACY B]

I have noticed in the vast majority of your posts, you seem to be spouting a "coming out is our obligation" kind of theme. This post is no different. You are confusing "acceptance" with "not freaking out.". People in general, do not notice anything around them. THAT shouldn't be confused acceptance. While I do not think a crossdresser is particularly offensive (I am not objective here) crossdressing is so far out of the norm that it cannot be "accepted" by the "public."




ACCEPTANCE ? From who ? Obligation ? Freaking out --Normal ? WAITTTTTTT A MIN ! You want to talk about Normal ,,, An if someone accepts you or me ? Screw them ,,,I can Break out a long laundry list of thing I don't accept out in public ,,,Where ya want me to start ,,, What I wear is NONE of there BIZZNESS !! How bout being RUDE ? First off ,,,People talking on the Phone while trying to conduct Bizzness transaction ! Pushing around SA just becuz they can ? Having Body parts sticking out of there clothes ? Commenting on others when they don't know nothing about there Sexual preference ? Let alone not knowing anything about the person an weather they will EXPLODE an Beat them down till they CHIT there pants ? So I have a little acceptance an toleration to be handing out myself ,,, How bout that for a 2 way street ? Just sit back an Pray I accept them ,,, Peace & Love -- signed------ AKA----- BOOGY-MAN ---

[sissystephanie]

Jennifer, I have to disagree with your detirmination that crossdressing cannot be accepted by the public. I have been crossdressing for over 60 years, and for the past 7+ years I have been doing it almost every day in public. But I do it differently than most of the CD's on this forum. I wear no makeup and I wear no feminine wig. I am almost bald and what hair I have is cut very short! The reason I wear no makeup or wig is simply because my late wife used to do my makeup and fix my wig! I am not good at doing either, so I don't bother.

The point is that I am definitely a man wearing feminine clothes in public. Do people notice me? I am sure they do! Do they talk about me and make comments? No, they don't! Because they don't care!! I don't dress to make a scene, or to show off. I dress like any other middle aged woman would dress. Actually I am far past middle age, but that is O.K.! I don't want to dress likle the old lady that I really am. As I said a little earlier, people don't care about others unless they are dressed to really stand out!!

[JamieQ]

I think in some parts of the country or world (to add) that CDing is acceptable, and IMO not "far" out of norm. I think its more common than the average person will admit When I lived in Miami years ago, almost 20 now, I do not really recall any thing drastically negative projected towards CDers, but that may have been the places I frequented and the neighbourhood I lived in. Now I am 800+ miles north in a completely different environment and a completely different acceptance zone. Is there really anything normal or a true norm anywhere anymore? ????:)

[Jackiefl]

I have to agree with Stacy on this one!!!!!!!!!!

[Jenniferathome]

So to all, my response is not about what "should" be or what I may prefer. My response is to the OP's stated "fact" that acceptance abounds in Florida. It does not. And I do not care what people may think of me as a crossdresser but I never confuse silence with acceptance.

And Allie, you also picked up on the key message: tolerance and acceptance are not the same. And as you know, I feel no sense of obligation to get the public to both recognize and accept crossdressing. I am completely satisfied with my wife's unconditional acceptance.

[Lorileah]

Easy there kids. You are not going to change Jennifer's mind on this. If one doesn't want to get out of the house they won't no matter what happens in the real world.

Acceptance abounds everywhere. Everywhere where people have their own lives to lead at any rate. We all know that there are still pockets where race is an issue and will be for a long time. Where women are still though of as a subclass. Where people don't have anything better to do than make others lives as miserable as their own. That's teh way it is and will be.

But the OP s saying that in most cases we worry about things that never happen. I still do, I just posted about my day in a church...yes where they could quote things but they didn't. I am lucky I live where people really live and let live for the most part.


The main issue I have is when people who hide complain how they can't do "something". The OP makes the point on that. You never know until you try,

And Wildaboutheels...half the people here have no clue who Pogo is. :)

[Angela Campbell]

Where in Tampa is it accepted? I have seen a few places in Orlando where little more than raised eyebrows but would love to know where I can go here at home and be a little more comfortable.

[Jackiefl]

My wife and I have been to disney and universal studios many times when i have been dressed no problems at all. We also have been to flea markets,dining, all very enjoyable. In tampa bush gardens, flea markets,dining,shopping ect. People don't really seem to care but if they do they have never said a thing to us. i guess the best thing to do is pull up your big girl panties and hold your head up high shoulders back and smile a lot and most important enjoy who and what we are life is to short.

[noeleena]

Hi,

It's not for every one to step out , to face the public , many cant . so does every one ...have ... to , well no , does every one have to do the same thing or detail. again no. why because we are all different . does every one drive a car, no & nore does Jos.& we have some very good reasons why she cant,

So the same applys to dressers, reguardless of why . or even if they are accepted, does it really matter if people look at or see through the mask. & accept or as some say here they wont be accepted no matter what.

So really its up to each of us to be sure in our selfs as to wether we go in public or stay behind cloesed doors .

The acceptance should be in here our forum as to being a safe place to hang out, & really thats what this is about,

Not being forced to go out & be put under a well your not as good as others who do,

Im in the public domain & thats for myself to do, yet i will never say oh your not as good as i am because i can do things you cant do. or go place's you dont.

What i will say is many here can dress far better than i look so much better & yes pass as or look like women. i know im no where as good looking gee your pics as iv said before id look so out of place , i would be so embarrised being around you's .

Like the Convention some of yous have just been to. you see where im comeing from .

Yet my difference im a female / woman .so how would that go down. what would happen if i was invited to speak at a convention like that, id hate to think. yet i have done it here, & im not talking about a few 1000 people ether.

I sure would not put others in the same postion im in . you know we all have things to offer, just we are so different in our own ways,

...noeleena...

[sometimes_miss]

I have noticed in the vast majority of your posts, you seem to be spouting a "coming out is our obligation" kind of theme. This post is no different. You are confusing "acceptance" with "not freaking out.". People in general, do not notice anything around them. THAT shouldn't be confused acceptance. While I do not think a crossdresser is particularly offensive (I am not objective here) crossdressing is so far out of the norm that it cannot be "accepted" by the "public."
I also see a trend of repeating the same discussions over and over. Therefore, I say: Do what you want. Do not pretend to know what other people are thinking, because ESP has never been proven to be real. If you want to believe that everyone loves crossdressers despite evidence to the contrary, you are free to believe it. And I am free not to, no matter how many threads get started about the subject.

[Wildaboutheels]

I wonder...

How many here have heard the expression, "There's none so blind as those who will not see"?

It's so very true in my experience.

[Sara Jessica]

If you want to believe that everyone loves crossdressers despite evidence to the contrary, you are free to believe it. And I am free not to, no matter how many threads get started about the subject.

I'd like to hear the evidence you have to support the notion that everyone doesn't love crossdressers (or perhaps better put, T-whatever's because your average Muggle has trouble discerning what species of TG'er we might be).

Personally, I go out quite often and everybody loves me...so there!!!

[Alexisninsar]

I have to say living here in the Lake city/Live Oak area, good portion people around where I live are not as accepting of cross-dressers. In order to feel comfortable I have to travel to Gainesville or Tallahassee, that is 1hr-1/12hr trip one way. I have not had any issues shopping, generally my wife is with me, but to go out dressed and have the constant threat of red neck D-bags harassing me is another thing, I simply don't feel safe.

[AllieSF]

I am with you Sara. As one person has proof of third party negative feelings toward T's in whatever shape or form, I really do not need to see the proof either because I trust everyone, so others like Sara and myself and maybe a few others here that get out into the real world on a regular basis, and not just to "T" safe places, have our own proof of, in my experience, total indifference, total tolerance, total acceptance in some cases and total love (as in loving a good friend). I think that the indifference and tolerance is probably predominant, but there is a lot of true acceptance out there once you actually meet, talk with and share each other's stories. To go out and not interact with others probably will not give you similar experiences to mine unless you happen to be out with someone similar to us that go out and interact with others.

Jennifer: I think I understand where you are coming from. Though it does sound a bit like a half empty glass view. "Abound" may be a stronger word than I may have used, but I think that message conveyed by the OP is that contrary to popular belief there is actually a lot of acceptance in Florida. Hopefully, we are not discussing the use of overly optimistic words used by some. I like to look at it realistically, at least from my point of view, the half full one, and think that maybe there is more acceptance, tolerance and love out there for us on the edge than others give credit for. Oh, and as you know me some, I have decided not to worry nor try to interpret others' silence when I am out. I have enough other real issues complicating my life than to worry or make a fuss over that non-issue. That means that you may be "totally" correct and I may be "totally" wrong, but it doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things, and I still love you anyway.

I am not here to prove anyone wrong about what they feel or believe. I am just giving my side and experiences. For the record, no one has to go out. If you want to go out, then hopefully one day you can do just that. I would love for more of us to go out and give others a friendly "T" experience, but it is definitely not mandatory.

[NicoleScott]

I agree with Jennifer. Crossdressing isn't quite ready for prime time.

How about this:
"See that woman?"
"Yes, so what?"
"It's a man, a crossdresser."
"Yes, so what?"
"He's your second-grader's new teacher."

How many parents will say "Yes, so what?" to that, or go to school the next day to get the child moved to a different class?

Crossdressing may be "accepted" for strangers, but not for people close to them - or their kids..

[Wildaboutheels]

How about this:
"See that woman?"
"Yes, so what?"
"It's a man, a crossdresser."
"Yes, so what?"
"He's your second-grader's new teacher."
"Is he a good teacher"?
"An excellent one as to what I have heard".
"GREAT! We need more teachers like him."

[NicoleScott]

"Is he a good teacher"?
"An excellent one as to what I have heard".
"GREAT! We need more teachers like him."

Sure, wouldn't it be nice if the public in general felt that way?
But we disagree on what the reality is.
How about all those threads/posts about non-acceptance? Made up, I guess.

[AllieSF]

How about a lot of those non-acceptance threads written by those who hardly ever, if ever, even venture out of the house? What real life experience being out and interfacing with others, including complete strangers, do they have? I truly understand their fears and respect their right to have them and decide to stay in even when they really do want to go out. I understand your example about a CD teacher, but think about it, that is also a potentially very rare occurrence. Hell, the first time I got fully dressed with makeup, false eyelashes and wig with another person, that other person was a well qualified and respected doctor at a local hospital. I guess I was lucky that he wasn't an ex-con looking for his next trick. The point is that there is more complaining about going out and what "might" happen, then actually going out and then reporting back that the "might" actually "did" happen. Those negative occurrences at least as written up on this site are not common, in my opinion, of course.

[NicoleScott]

I have had more good experiences going out than bad. Most of those (good) were in Florida. But you have to know that Florida is not Mississippi. I'm not trying to push the idea that everywhere in the outside world is hostile to crossdressers. But how many threads have we seen where the OP says we should get out there - the world awaits with opens arms? It just isn't so. Get out there if you want to, but quit trying to push others out of the closet.

[sterling12]

OK. I live in Florida too, so I'll add just a bit to The Conversation.

There ARE a small, but none the less surprising number of people down here who are certainly curious, and perhaps tolerant. Till' I got used to it, always sort of shocked me when someone would "clock" you, and walk right up and start asking questions. Lots of Folks here from The Northeast, and outside of N.Y.C. (Notoriously unfriendly with strangers and non-communicative), perhaps they are just nosy enough to just "blurt out" their actual thoughts. Anyway, Folks certainly do this. Doesn't happen all the time, but with enough regularity to make it non-exceptional.

But, don't mistake "too self-absorbed" for Acceptance. Virtually all of that 95% wouldn't notice anything short of an Artillery Barrage when they are out shopping. Between their Smart Phones, making sure their rotten kids aren't stealing something, actually checking out, and believing in The Sale Signs posted on every window, they just don't see us, or much of anything else!

Be happy it's just a few who are discerning enough to start asking questions. If all those others noticed, what a pain in The Ass! You would probably end up doing a Public Outreach/Q and A Forum down at The Local Galleria every time you stopped by. I suspect that wouldn't be much fun! Remember, they probably haven't given any thought to Accepting us, they are just oblivious!

peace and Love, Joanie

[linda allen]

Come to Florida for a vacation. At least a day. Long enough to sit in or walk around any mall or large store or public place. And then claim that "society does not accept us". Seems to me that if EASILY 95% or better don't even bat an eye.................

That's because 95% of the people in Florida are so old, and their eyesight is so bad, they can't see that we are crossdressers! :devil:

[STACY B]

Mississippi is safe ,,, Just tell um STACY B sent ya ,,, Or call me I will Protect you my SISSTA'S no need to worry .. Ya think I started this as a Girl ? Nope ,,, I was a man ,, So I know there secretes ,, Just come see me ,,, An if ya want to stay in the closet ? Stay there no one is pushing you out ,,Like I have said many times before ,, We have a hard enough time finding clothes an shoes now ,,We don't need all the chix out an about . Online folks gotta work too ya know ,,Just stay home an please don't EVER get a salon app on the same day as me ,,, I hate to wait ,, My hair dresser only tales APP also ,,, But if ya do want to go out an have fun MISS is the Place ,,,Casino's ,,Beaches ,, Cruzin the Coast Classic Car show ,, Big Fireworks shows on the Holidays ,,Xmas on the water ,,Marty Gras Parades ,, Deep Sea fishing ,, Concerts out the Yin Yang --- Dam I got get a Job at the Welcome center ,,,LOL,,,

[Michelle (Oz)]

To throw a slightly different slant. So often when we are out we are expecting to be read and therefore we are very sensitive to the reactions of people around us. At least I am.

So when we see people laughing and talking softly to each other I immediately think I'm the subject.

I have come to think that mostly people are just enjoying themselves and it is a coincidence I'm in their vicinity. Without stopping them and checking on their conversation it is hard to know but I have turned around thinking that they may have done so too to find that they have continued on their merry way. Many people look at me as they pass as people normally do but I rarely see a surprised look or double take.

Case in point - I was waking along a beach in my 2-piece swimmers with a top. As I was going past mum, dad and approx 10yo son, the son loudly exclaimed 'oh my gosh!' Confidence shattered I took an immediate right hand turn to get off the beach. As I looked back I saw a powered hang glider in the air - the subject of his exclamation. I just happened to be in the same line of sight. Confidence returned as did my enjoyable walk down the beach.

My point is that many of us feel so exposed that we misinterpret the interaction around us. It doesn't take much for us to lose confidence. We so often (but not always) misinterpret people's normal interaction with friends as directed to us.

Michelle

[JamieQ]

I have to say living here in the Lake city/Live Oak area, good portion people around where I live are not as accepting of cross-dressers. In order to feel comfortable I have to travel to Gainesville or Tallahassee, that is 1hr-1/12hr trip one way. I have not had any issues shopping, generally my wife is with me, but to go out dressed and have the constant threat of red neck D-bags harassing me is another thing, I simply don't feel safe.

I know the area and its "mood" VERY well... still have a few remaining relatives there. I live quite a ways north and I could say its probably identical here. Amanda

[Wildaboutheels]

ACCEPTED?

Are Black people accepted?

Mexican?

People wearing turbans?

WHAT do you think would happen to the economy if all these people stayed home because they were scared?

When people DON'T go about their daily lives with their fingers in their ears it's not hard to hear a conversation where someone is not talking $hit about anyone else who is not exactly like them. For many people, the more trash they can talk about others that are somehow different than themselves, the better it makes themselves feel.

To allow the ATTITUDES of people like this ^^^ to control what one does in their own lives makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. One will never be happy as long as they maintain the NIMBY attitude.

REALITY check. If there was any real DANGER of going out/being out in the "wrong clothes" the news would be full of it.

It's NOT.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Before one can make the argument that CDing is accepted everywhere, one first has to define what "acceptance" is and how it is to be quantified. Most places people may ignore someone dressed, some may be polite to people dressed even if they personally object to way their "lifestyle", but neither of those mean acceptance in the usual sense of the word.

[NicoleScott]

Hey Wild, you want acceptance?
You can start by ACCEPTING that some crossdressers don't want to go out.
Knock off the lectures and leave us alone.