A reminder from my doctor.

[StaceyJane]

This morning I had another routine checkup with my doctor who does my HRT.
As usual I had no problems with checking in as Stacey. She looked over my labs from last time and said everything looked fine the only problem was I still needed to lose weight. She also asked if I was planning on having surgery soon. This was the first time she has asked me that and I told her it didn't look like anytime soon because of various reasons and I mentioned how I had looked into FFS.
A guess the only problem is that her asking about surgery was a reminder that I really don't have any plans right now and sometimes I feel I'm in a holding pattern with transition.
Other that talking to my wife about HRT I still haven't come out to anyone other than immediate family and am not close to going full time yet. And yet I am very happy with the HRT and it's results so far but fear and maybe a lack of faith keeps me in this place.

[Leanne2]

Stacy, You have to ask yourself what you would gain from transitioning and what would you loose. The answers to these questions are different for everyone. Good luck figuring out what to do. I'll still be your friend no matter what you decide. Leanne

[JohnH]

I have no plans to have either SRS or FFS at all. I am happy simply with the M2F HRT.

John

[sandra-leigh]

Stacey, "transition" isn't just surgery: it consists of multiple steps. Some of those steps are difficult-to-impossible to reverse (e.g., SRS), and so are firm commitments. Others are perhaps not as hard to reverse (e.g., breast augmentation) but at the same time are relatively big commitments, significant impact on public perception. Name changes are comparatively easy to reverse, and you have your choice of ranges of likely public impact (e.g., androgynous names, changing spelling of existing names, keeping your existing name as your "professional" name, keep last name or change it); symbolic impact on you but nothing you can't back out of or soften if you so choose.

Some of the possible steps can remain completely unknown to the public (e.g., underdressing). Other steps have no commitment at all, such as speech lessons or taking a makeup course, and yet would be helpful for the future.

To stop feeling like you are in a holding pattern, you can choose to start things that are relatively low on permanent commitment. And you can do prep work for further things, such as finding out what the laws are for name changes in your area, and working on picking a full name.

I was in a holding pattern for some time. Now that I am not employed, I'm struggling with angst about dealing with possible future employers, and that is forcing me to once again face how I want to live. Nothing really concrete has come out of the struggle, but in some ways it beats being in a holding pattern.

[Marleena]

Stacey HRT is a huge step in the transition process. I just recently told my own family doctor and the first thing he asked is when are you having SRS? I think they just expect it as the next step. I'm in limbo like you because my wife doesn't want anybody knowing I'm trans. FFS or SRS would end our marriage too. I'm not sure where I'm headed yet. It's is your own decision how far you go with things of course.

[Saffron]

Don't be afraid to take your time, but don't let the fear postpone your life.