Where is this all going?

[Jenny Doolittle]

Let me start by saying I have a loving wife who understands that Jenny is apart of my inner being, and she accepts that as a part of me because she loves me and wants me to be happy. We have been together for decades and both agree that our investment in each other is far to great to not maintain our partnership in life.

She is more of a DADT partner, although I certainly test her limits sometimes by my wanting to experience more as Jenny. Since I have retired and feel my obligations to maintain an income are not tied to how I present to the public I have wanted to express my more feminine side to the world. I guess that is my first question to you as a community, Do others also, for some reason, feel a need allow the rest of the world know that you are feminine in your nature? And a follow up question that my wife has asked me on several occasions.... Where is this all going? Can you answer that question, or if your wife asks, what do you tell her?

[Karren H]

Personally I don't feel the need to let anyone know.... I know and thats all that counts.... and for me.... I don't think its going anywhere..... I mean what's wrong with just staying where you are.... doing what your doing and being happy.... I don't understand this need to go somewhere....

[Elle1946]

I agree with Karren 100 percent.

[Gillian Gigs]

There used to be an expression, " you don't air your dirty laundry in public". Well, with modern day dryers, is there any need to air your clean laundry either. I fail to see why the world needs to know anything about my personal life. I guess you don't feel that way. But why? You said that you have an investment in a relationship with your wife, so why risk the damage just so you can show the world your other side. They probably don't care anyway! If you feel some desire to show the world, then go to a make over service in another city, then go out for the day. At least that way you can keep the harmony with your wife within your own community.

[Kate Simmons]

I don't need to show anyone anything really. I'm happy as is. If we don't move at our own speed and go according to someone else's agenda, we really do not control our own destiny the way I see it. :)

[AngieStone]

I have to agree with the others, for me I know and I really don't care or see the need for others to be in on my life. I have it on a need to know bases, and for me the world just don't need to know!

[Barbra P]

I too am retired, since 2004, but other than affording me a lot of free time doesn’t have much bearing on my dressing. Since the late sixties I have enjoyed going to Halloween parties, and also as a woman, but the rest of the year I was in the closet. Last year I said to heck with it and started to dress more somewhat to my Wife’s chagrin but she while not real supportive is tolerant . . . up to a point. I ventured out into the neighborhood, walked the dog around the block and talked with some of the neighbors. Three neighborhood women came to house one afternoon, knowing I was Barbra that day, and asked me to go for a walk with them, an offer which I eager accepted. Well to my chagrin my wife informed me that she was not happy with that sort of activities and it embarrassed her.

I generally spend one day a week as Barbra, cloistered in my home (with some time spent in the yard) but with a certain longing to spend some time with others. I see my Therapist once a month and that affords me an opportunity to get out in the world as Barbra. I have mixed feelings walking into a crowded medical center enfemme but the hour I get to spend with Kelly as Barbra is something I look forward to – it’s so much better being Barbra than just talking about Barbra.

So while Karren and Elle are content to stay at home many others on the forum feel the same need as you do to get out into the world and experience as best as we can what it is like to be a woman interacting with others.

I have a therapy session today and I’m sitting here now pondering on whether to go enfemme or in drab. On the one hand I dearly want to go enfemme and show off my new pumps, but on the other hand we are in the grips of a heat wave, which is supposed to peak today with record breaking temperatures.

[JenniferR771]

Cding has become a little more intense since retirement. However I still feel no need to to tell my family, except one brother. And I would not tell my male friends, except for my neighbor. Wife is still opposed, but OK with a DADT situation. And I have been out of the house a few more times, especially with my support groups and my cd girlfriends. Why do I have to go out? No sure, exactly--it is sort of validating to have the general public see me without reading me--and--if I am read--still treating me like a lady. Why? I don't know. Would I go out more in the future if I had the chance--probably. Every day or full time--probably not.

[rachaelsloane]

I also have to agree with Karen. I'm also a believer in that I do not know why I CD or really care that I CD, I just know I enjoy it and am having a great time going out and interacting with others.

[bridget thronton]

I am not sure it is a need to go out dressed, as much as it is not wanting to change to drab stay to run an errand

[becky77]

Doesn't need to go anywhere however for some it will and that really depends on the individual. When i'm lost in pink fog I may give you a different answer to when i'm wallowing in blue smog lol.

[Cynthia Anne]

The need to dress every day hit me hard a few years back and is still with me today! The desire to show the world has never intered into play for me 'cause I couldn't care less what others think of me! My life is based on my happiness so I'm only tryin' to please myself! Where is it going for me?> I'd say it's going to the end of my time!

[~Joanne~]

I don't have a need for others to see me out dressed but I do have a desire to be out dressed if that makes since. I could walk dressed in a empty park and be besides myself and in a happy place but I have no desires to mingled or blend with the rest of the world.

Where is this going? never been asked that because my GF, kinda knows but not to the extent. I think it goes to different places for different girls for different reasons. I am a CD, I am happy with where it is now and don't feel it has to go any where beyond where it is now. No HRT or Transitioning for me. I am happy to be able to slip between two worlds which both bring me a little joy :)

[Lorileah]

If I spend x amount of time getting dressed; someone better darn well notice. Otherwise I will just wear slacks and a polo shirt (and they can come from the women's department). I will assume you are referring to dressing as a daily activity which would be just everyday slacks, top, flat shoes. Then why go around yelling "look at me!"? However if you wish to dress up and hit the town once in awhile, you will be seen. I have decided I don't care who sees me.

On a side note, I really don't like comparing this to dirty laundry. One should have the right to wear whatever clothing one wants to wear as long as it conforms to decency. This isn't something that is "wrong" or "Bad". Misinformation and the media's desire for making a big deal out of nothing has made it what society perceives. Being out and doing everyday things is a small way to help dispel that image.

[Marleena]

The most important thing is for MTF's is to accept who they are. Once that is done I think it's just going with the flow as new doors are open. If you have an SO communication is the key so that both of you are on the same page. I have days where I want to come out to everybody but my wife is not comfortable with others knowing. It's not that big of a deal because it's less stress to keep it private for me. I do enjoy going out as Marleena out of town and my wife goes with me. So things are pretty good here.

[Megan Briana]

I dont feel the need to go out dress as much as I thought I would. I would like to be able to go to a friends (GG) house for some beauty tips, and (with luck) a fun day shopping at all the stores and shops she has talked about (she doesnt know I CD yet, but will). I have hinted at coming to her for some help and I am quite sure she has put one and one together, but it appears she is letting me do this at my own pace so far. Once i have come out, then maybe I will be a bit more anxious about getting out but for now... now I am a stay-at-home cd-er. :)

[Tracii G]

Some just feel the need to tell everybody and that is something I never really felt I had to do.
Acceptance? Maybe so but you run the risk of alienating long time friends which is not what I would call a healthy way to treat your friends.
Family? Yes I can see the need to tell some family members so you don't get caught in an awkward situation.
CDing and dealing with GID are two different things.
I do go out enfemme when I feel the urge, but mix the genders as far as clothes and hair most every day.

[Cheryl T]

I don't feel a need to let others know about myself. When I'm out, if someone notices, then so be it. But I don't go around advertising or announcing to friends and family.

As for where this is going....I have no idea. It's a journey and I'm just exploring and seeing what's out there and where it's going. It's like going to another state and finding an interesting road you've never been on. You have no idea where it's going, but you want to see where it takes you and what there is along the way.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't think I am going anywhere. It has been a slow evolution over a long time and new things just happen.

[heatherdress]

Ditto Karen's sentiments.

If you are retired, however, you might want to experience a bit more if you no longer have the contrains of work. Examples - ears pierced, join a local CD group). But you still don't have to tell the world and it doesn't have to go anyplace different because you are retired. Enjoy yourself, don't worry.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Well, I have this urge to be seen sexually. To be considered a sex object, if you will. These days, I'm thinking I would not enjoy being a female sex object. The problem is, there are far fewer opportunities as a male to dress in a body aware way. ( have I mentioned I love cycling clothes? )

I am becoming more open in my dressing, several people at work have seen me try on female version of pants for fit, I may get my GF to do some alteraions on one pair of shorts that is close to what I want. She doesn't have the slightest objection to my dressing, and has said she will inform anyone that expresses doubt, as to the true nature of my sexual orientation if needed.

The fact that I have, a GF, and she is OK with it, is the biggest thing. It makes me a LOT, less freaked out about others knowing.

Edit: I have a slight problem with my....intentions(?) in this situation, in that I'm getting older. I am overly proud of the fact that I look at least 15 years younger than my true age, but I wish I had come to this self knowledge earlier. :p

[Tracii G]

As far as going anywhere my question is why does it have to?
Just be yourself and go along for the ride.
Some get too analytical about it IMO.
If I do this then it means "I must do that" and so on.

[ReineD]

Since I have retired and feel my obligations to maintain an income are not tied to how I present to the public I have wanted to express my more feminine side to the world.

Do others also, for some reason, feel a need allow the rest of the world know that you are feminine in your nature?

Two questions.

1. Is "the rest of the world" all your family, friends, and community members, or is it a select group of people in the next town over for example, who do not know the people in your daily life?

2. By "feminine in nature", do you mean that you wish to be known or taken as a man who prefers to present as a woman (to the people who know you well in male mode), or do you want to be perceived as much as possible, as a genetic woman to others (the people who don't know that you are a birth male).

Your wife is likely concerned that even though your livelihood is no longer threatened by an employer finding out, you will still have doors closed in your personal lives, should everyone know about your desire to express or perhaps live full or near full time as a gender different than birth. As much as we like to think that our loved ones and our more distant acquaintances (friends and people in our other social groups) will understand this, in reality, society simply isn't there yet in terms of unconditional acceptance and support of cross-gender expression.

But, this also depends on the milieu in which you live. it is easier in some areas to have parallel lives that do not intersect, than others.

[dallasmann]

Since I have retired and feel my obligations to maintain an income are not tied to how I present to the public I have wanted to express my more feminine side to the world. I guess that is my first question to you as a community, Do others also, for some reason, feel a need allow the rest of the world know that you are feminine in your nature? And a follow up question that my wife has asked me on several occasions.... Where is this all going? Can you answer that question, or if your wife asks, what do you tell her?
It sounds to me like you're seeking a sort of liberation and it is completely understandable. I sometimes have similar feelings myself, that it is not always enough for me to know. There's a strangely sexy feeling I get when someone in the real world outside my circle notices. I like it, it feels good, I'd like more of it, but I know I cannot have it all the time. And since I can't have it all the time, it makes it all the more pleasurable for me when I do get it.

[Persephone]

Hi Jenny!

As is often the case, Reine has posted a gem of an answer.

I do not believe that I "feel a need allow the rest of the world know that you are feminine in your nature," I do feel the need to be myself, to be able to walk into as room and have friends who smile and say "Hi Barbara!" To be me.

Pretty much what Reine defined in section 2B, to be perceived as much as possible as a (genetic) woman.

I am extremely blessed in that I have a spouse who loves and accepts me and who is supportive even when we run through quicksand.

As to your second question, "Where is this all going?" that is a good deal more complex. Once you let the genie out of the bottle and begin going out your femme life can take on the dimension of being real.

Let's say you go to a CD group meeting en femme. You meet some folks and you really enjoy their company. After a few meetings they say "Let's meet for dinner." Now you're going to restaurants en femme. After a while you develop a cadre of friends en femme. Now you are becomming "real." You have a femme identity, you have friends and shared experiences.

Now what are you going to do when you're out to dinner and find "his" (your boyself's) friends sitting at the next table? Maybe better to meet with them and tell them before that happens?

Presto! You're out!

And at least from my perspective I love every moment of my new life. But like the old saying, "Be careful what you wish for, you might get it," you have to be certain of your wish before you make it.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jenny, I have been retired almost four years now it;s DADT but my understands me .
I have no need to tell my family or friends.

[Joanne f]

For some strange reason there are times when I feel the need to let the world know that I have a feminine side , if you are out in a dress then it is pretty obvious that you have at least a bit of a feminine side to you but i am dressed androgynously most of the time with nail varnish and girly bracelets , I have been going to this place for a while and they can clearly see all of this and I get the feeling that I am doing it on purpose in the hope that they will ask so I can understand your need to let it out .

( In any case surely if there was no need to let other people know about your feminine side then you would just not meet other people when dressed feminine, isn't that why a lot go out to show the world their feminine side )

[Foxglove]

Why do I have to go out? No sure, exactly--it is sort of validating to have the general public see me without reading me--and--if I am read--still treating me like a lady. Why? I don't know.


I don't have a need for others to see me out dressed but I do have a desire to be out dressed if that makes since. I could walk dressed in a empty park and be besides myself and in a happy place but I have no desires to mingled or blend with the rest of the world.


I understand what the two of you are saying, as I feel that way myself. For the time being, I'm still stuck inside, but I have definite plans to start getting out this month.

Why do I want to get out? Because as long as I'm in, I feel like I'm in prison--for a crime I didn't commit. Everybody has the right to walk the earth, just as they are. I want that same right.


I don't feel a need to let others know about myself. When I'm out, if someone notices, then so be it. But I don't go around advertising or announcing to friends and family.


For me, Cheryl, it's not a question of advertising myself. I wouldn't be getting out with the attitude, "Hey, everybody, look at me!" Whether they take notice of me, whether they approve of me is a different question altogether. I simply want to live my life on the same terms as everybody else: as me, doing what comes naturally to me.

Annabelle

[Alice B]

At this point I've let everyone that needs to know about Alice. Also retired, with an accepting wife I sometimes think of opening up more, but then realize there is nothing to gain and much more to lose.. I'm able to dress at home, dress and go out and to go to DLV each year. That's enough for me.

[Stephanie47]

Ok, I've been retired since early 2008. I've been a cross dresser or at least dabbled with women's clothing since early teens. That's over fifty years. I am in a DADT marriage, which is fine with me. My wife is still working and says she intends to work part time, which is full days, until age seventy. Great. I can be Stephanie in the home or backyard for a while longer without confronting any issues with my wife. Retirement has done away with the fear of my employer finding out. I am financially secure.

I cross dress because it is still a stress reliever. Even to expand my desires would be counter productive. It would produce stress. Although we have never discussed boundaries, when you are married for forty plus years, you can figure it out real easy. If my wife were to ask to see Stephanie I would have to really consider it. I would not just run and get en femme. I would have to analyze the consequences to ME. Would I really be comfortable cooking dinner a la June Cleaver? I doubt it.

I really do not have to push my personal and deep inner self on anyone, including my wife.

[Elsa Larson]

IMHO, you need to give yourself permission to take a gender journey to an unknown destination.

Some people are satisfied making simple changes like underdressing or wearing clear nail polish and dealing with their gender issues privately.

Others live full-time as women and some of them pursue gender correction and/or other surgeries. There are infinite variations between the extremes.

You will burn up a lot of emotional energy wondering "what if?" unless you try to find out what is right for you. You will not get anywhere or learn anything without first giving yourself permission.

[STACY B]

Where is this all going you ask ? Tell her to the END ,,,, Where is that ? Hell I don't know I haven't got there YET !!!

[sterling12]

Sit down with you Wife and TALK! If she is asking, "Where is this all going?" she's probably got some type of scenario in mind thats similar to that Film titled "Normal." She might be envisioning A Sex Change operation, or liaisons with guys! If that isn't so, you need to make sure she understands that.

Last time I talked to friends in Columbus they claimed that there wasn't any sort of Transgendered Support Group. I find that hard to believe in a City of a Million people. I'd recommend that you try and involve her, and join a Local Support Group. I think it would calm some of her fears, she would get to talk with women in similar relationships, and it might just turn out to be a fun, "Girls Night Out" for The Both of you. You would get to experience some initial steps to broaden you Femme Persona, and she feels unthreatened. It may in fact deepen your relationship and put an end to DADT!

All in all, a Win-Win Situation. So, do some Google Searches, TALK candidly with you Mrs., and move forward! Please report back to us in a few months and tell us how it's going. We love to hear Success Stories!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Roberta Marie]

For me, I don't think it's a matter so much, of telling the world, but more so of not having to look around to see if the neighbors are out before I walk to the car. In agreement with my wife, I am not out around the town where we live, but I do frequently go out in a city about 20 minutes away from home. There was an incident this past summer at an AIDS Task Force event that my wife and I went to with some friends. A car plowed into the crowd, hitting 3 or 4 people. After I helped to render aid to one of the victims, I was concerned that someone in the crowd may have taken a picture which might have ended up on the news. Why should I have to worry about such ramifications because I did the "right" thing?

It's not so much that I want to announce it to the world, but I would like to be out enough to not have such worries about being outed. It's not so much about announcing it to the world as it is about not hiding from the world.

While I am retired, I still work part time. I'm not sure how my employers would feel about my being transgendered, and the income from my job is paying for my son's college tuition. So, until he graduates, which will be this June, I'll probably continue to worry about who sees me. But, for where this is going for me, I have told my wife that I would love to be able to go to dinner wearing a skirt and heels at a restaurant/bar that we frequent in our home town where we know all of the staff and meet many of our friends. That's one of the things on my bucket list.

[Jenny Doolittle]

Wow, Thank you all for all the responses, so varied, and different, but yet full of insight and conviction for all. Maybe I was a little unclear when I said I needed to allow all to know, but I do feel a genuine bit of self satisfaction when another accepts me as a fellow female when out shopping or at lunch.

I appreciate all of the advice and will take it into consideration in maintaining a wonderful relationship with my wife. I hope this post got everyone thinking about not only myself but their own situation in life.

Thank you all very much.

Jenny

[AllieSF]

OK Jenny, I may be lucky to come here after your last post here to be able to better get what you have said. I totally understand what you feel and want to do. I do not want to, nor do I see a need to come out to family, friends and others who know my male self. However, the more you dress, the more time you have to be on this site, read other's adventures while out, and as you mature more in this side of your life, I can easily see and understand why you may need more, a type of coming out by just being out, outside of your home, shopping, dining, drinking or whatever. So, your desires are OK by me. Now, where it all may be going, you may or may not have an idea. That is also OK based on everything I have read here and my own take on this side of me. I can't explain it, I enjoy it, I am also retired with no encumbrances so to speak, so I embrace it and want to do a lot en femme whenever I can.

Then we get to that SO in your life who is important to you as you are also important to her. That relationship needs special attention in trying to explain how you feel and where you may or may not know where it may be going. Instead of setting hard limits, why not set some intermediate targets and what you may like to do. That way you give both of you the opportunity to get used to each new step before plunging or charging ahead into the next step, whatever that may be. As you probably know from being here for over 4 years, your SO needs time, open communication, honesty and a lot of TLC. That is your job to help her through this. I wish you the best and thanks for sharing and asking.

[sandra-leigh]

The very moment that I recognized at all that I was a cross-dresser, was the moment that I knew I would be going out as soon as practical. The thought train went approximately like, "[...] if my wife doesn't want to wear this skirt then I want to wear it! Hey -- I want to wear women's clothes! In public!" And having realized that I wasn't just "trying things on to see how they would look on my wife", I had no remaining block against going out that way.

But -- those initial outings were acts of social defiance to me: I was going to do something that I wanted to do for once, fully expecting and not caring at the time that that society would disapprove. I wasn't "seeking validation", I was tearing down The Bill Of Goods and stomping on it, being free.

The joke turned out to be on me: society treated me better, and I turned out to be transgender and have since transitioned to approximately the "middle" of the gender spectrum. And I can't go back: I mentally and emotionally recoil from that possibility.

I didn't have any destination when I started. I don't have a destination now -- but I am pretty sure that I'll be going at least one more stop on the Gender Train.

[Davena Doll]

It's not going any where .It's an end of it's self.

[ReineD]

Wow, Thank you all for all the responses, so varied, and different, but yet full of insight and conviction for all. Maybe I was a little unclear when I said I needed to allow all to know, but I do feel a genuine bit of self satisfaction when another accepts me as a fellow female when out shopping or at lunch.


If you're only thinking about going out dressed to the next town over, and not coming out to all your friends and family, then I do not think it is unusual at all. My SO does this on a regular basis and manages to keep both his/her lives separate. She went out today, for about 9 hours. She wore an electric blue sweater dress (quite short), with a wide black belt, hose and heels. She went out for breakfast early, then had her hair cut and styled (she has her own, mid-back, curly hair). She then went on to get her nails done (her nails are long so this was just a manicure with polish), followed by a snack at a yogurt place where a friend of hers works. This was followed by a visit to the mall for a bit of shopping. She bought herself a watch, followed by lunch at a Thai place where again, she is friendly with the staff there. After that she went to another jewelry place and got herself a bracelet. She then went to a local winery to hang out for a few hours, enjoy the fall view and read a book.

Me? I was running around town trying to find a caulking remover made by 3M to remove the caulking around her bathtub surround. I couldn't find what I was looking for so went back to using the scraper (it's a silicone caulk). The bathroom is being redone (house was build in the 50s) and I need to apply joint compound to some cracks in the ceiling close to the top of the tub surround (hence the need to remove the caulk), and also to some holes/imperfections in the plaster wall ... which I did. It needs 3 coats and then some sanding, after which I will prime the bathroom, paint, install white subway tile to the area behind the new toilet & vanity, and then I will put in the new flooring. A friend will put in the actual toilet and connect the water in the vanity. Should be all done by early next week.

It was my idea to do all of this. Left up to my SO, she would have just got a new toilet, a new standard sink cabinet, and left everything else in place. I wanted a special vanity (Ikea with pull out drawers under the sink for easy access to storage, rather than the standard under-cabinet two-door configuration of most bathroom vanities ... so this involved removing the plaster wall behind it in order to reconfigure the plumbing, to have it as close to the wall as possible. The vanity is only 24" wide (very small bathroom), so space is at a premium.

Sorry if I got off track with my post. :p

[Jenny Doolittle]

You said it very well Allie, I know where I have been and where I am going is much like a journey on a path I have never travelled before. I suppose just like traveling a road you have never been, you take it slow and enjoy the ride.

[Jenny Doolittle]

If you're only thinking about going out dressed to the next town over, and not coming out to all your friends and family, then I do not think it is unusual at all. My SO does this on a regular basis and manages to keep both his/her lives separate. She went out today, for about 9 hours. She wore an electric blue sweater dress (quite short), with a wide black belt, hose and heels. She went out for breakfast early, then had her hair cut and styled (she has her own, mid-back, curly hair). She then went on to get her nails done (her nails are long so this was just a manicure with polish), followed by a snack at a yogurt place where a friend of hers works. This was followed by a visit to the mall for a bit of shopping. She bought herself a watch, followed by lunch at a Thai place where again, she is friendly with the staff there. After that she went to another jewelry place and got herself a bracelet. She then went to a local winery to hang out for a few hours, enjoy the fall view and read a book.

Me? I was running around town trying to find a caulking remover made by 3M to remove the caulking around her bathtub surround. I couldn't find what I was looking for so went back to using the scraper (it's a silicone caulk). The bathroom is being redone (house was build in the 50s) and I need to apply joint compound to some cracks in the ceiling close to the top of the tub surround (hence the need to remove the caulk), and also to some holes/imperfections in the plaster wall ... which I did. It needs 3 coats and then some sanding, after which I will prime the bathroom, paint, install white subway tile to the area behind the new toilet & vanity, and then I will put in the new flooring. A friend will put in the actual toilet and connect the water in the vanity. Should be all done by early next week.

It was my idea to do all of this. Left up to my SO, she would have just got a new toilet, a new standard sink cabinet, and left everything else in place. I wanted a special vanity (Ikea with pull out drawers under the sink for easy access to storage, rather than the standard under-cabinet two-door configuration of most bathroom vanities ... so this involved removing the plaster wall behind it in order to reconfigure the plumbing, to have it as close to the wall as possible. The vanity is only 24" wide (very small bathroom), so space is at a premium.

Sorry if I got off track with my post. :p

Smiles, No worries about being off track, it sounded like you are a woman that knows what she wants and willing to go the extra mile to get it.

I see a lot of my own marital relationship in what you just described for you and your hubby, only we are not on those paths everyday. A normal day for us is probably much like that of everyone else in a busy world. I can't say that everyday is like the one you described, but would I like them to be, I believe I would.

My wife on the other hand I am sure would differ, she allows me my time because she understand that part of me, but she also wants the husband she married, so there is always a compromise going on between us. I can say that our marriage and my love for my wife and her love for me, is very important to us both, and we make things work for ourselves to be happy. Are there bumps in that road, sure, but we deal with them.

[Tina B.]

I'm with the me too, Karren, crowd. As the old song goes, it no body's business but my own. As for my wife, that is a question she has never asked. But then being able to dress more since I retired, nothing else has changed Since I told her I was a crossdresser 36 years ago.
Tina B.

[Allsteamedup]

On the site I belong to in the UK there is a lot of grief from the women who lived with their cross-dresser for a lifetime and now retired, he wants to change their lives.

Let's be honest; retirement is an opportunity to explore new avenues; and the women on that site are the ones who find those changes incongruent with how they wanted/expected to spend their retirement.

Some cders see this as a charter for being femme much more. This constrains their SOs because friends and family can no longer stop by unannounced, reducing social time, and being with their dressed partner does not seem to afford the 'fun' time our American cousins have; for example, my nearest Mall is 120mls away! My nearest cinema is 33mls. Nearest restaurant 16mls!

So 'where is this leading?' is a reasonable question. Many have transitioned, which has left former partners sharing living accommodation because separating the finances would leave neither much equity. Or going out with your SO cder to a support group constrains the GG on who you can mix with; at 65+ with little previous experience of LGBT this is not a time of your life to find out.

There are problems here and they have to be faced. Others experiences are useful and helpful.

[Thera Home]

Where is this all going? Can you answer that question, or if your wife asks, what do you tell her?

I tell my wife...........Babe I have no idea where this is going but I need you to come with me in case we need to stop and ask for directions:heehee:

Thera

[Alliecat]

I tell my wife...........Babe I have no idea where this is going but I need you to come with me in case we need to stop and ask for directions:heehee:

Thera

Ill have to remember that one!