Is there a trend here. we are getting better at this

[DeniseNJ]

I have been a member for a few years now, Like most of you girls I believe I make a better looking woman that a man. In most of the BOY VS Girl threads we all must agree the girls rule and look better than their guy photos. Sure we don't have the curves like a true GG but some of you girls look better than many GG that I see. We all hear the term (I am a woman trapped in a man's body) I for one believe this is true to some extent because when we really try to look feminine it works, Many of you girls are stunning and should have been born Female. The question was asked before would you had rather been born a female my answer is yes. Many say No I like being a man and being able to change back and forth. Being smoth all over and working on the right walk and being proud sends out a signal, yes I am a woman. In the past few years many of you girls have progressed leaps and bounds from older photo's , no longer are we just guys in a dress, it seems we are trying harder to be accepted and are serious about being porecieved as a female who else feels this way. I know as the years go by I think more like a woman and that has helped me in my crossdressing alot any thoughts :daydreaming:

[May(be)]

Beautiful inside, beautiful outside- right? I do miss having a beard sometimes, though, and I'm thinking of growing one out for a time. I am not sure which version I prefer, but I can say that I think I look freaking good femmed up.
Also, I recently told my wife that I would have rather been born female. As that is not the case, I am able to experience a completely different set of things than I otherwise would have if I had been born female. I.e. being married in KY. That wouldn't have happened if I was born female, because I surely would have been a lesbian.

[katie73]

i have horrible confidence issues in my looks as a male, completely hate how i look and dont see any attractive qualities in the mirror at all. however as a girl im a lot happier when i look at myself, it looks as right as it feels and i have a lot more confidence in my appearance. the strange thing about that is i rarely wear make up or do anything differently to my hair or things like that (to be fair my hair is naturally pretty girly), its exactly the same face staring back at me, and its a very male face at that, but it just looks right

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Denise, When I get all femed up with the right padding in the right places
I think that I make a pretty good looking lady

At almost 70yr.old and with a full head of hair and average
size body I think that I'm still a good looking guy.

Now this is a biased opinion you see.

[Kate Simmons]

Just one question Denise. If we do succeed at being perceived as a natural woman, what is the next logical step and what do we really hope to accomplish by doing all of this? What do we really desire?:battingeyelashes::)

[Amy R Lynn]

@Kate, I would say that we just desire to feel good about who we are. I like getting all dolled up. It makes me feel good about myself. Like Denise said it does give you a confidence boost. I see myself in the mirror and think Damn I look good! I don't think I've ever really said that when I look like a guy. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I look like swamp thing as a man, but I certainly have never felt as good about how I look as I do when I'm dressed as a woman.

[Michelle55]

I can look pretty good as a woman or as a man. But..... I could look a lot better as a man if I put in the same effort I do getting fixed up as Michelle.

[Jamie Ann]

You may have had a little more than this in mind, but I think that crossdressers definitely are getting better at making feminine presentations. When I first went to the Southern Comfort Conference in 2002, probably 80% of the attendees wore halloween wigs and poorly fitting dresses. At most about 20% wore makeup and attractive accessories, too. In the 2012 version, the percentage of really good looking transgender women was MUCH higher. I used to be one of the best, but now I am in the middle of the pack in a dimly lighted room on a good day! When I look at the photos on crossdressers.com, I quickly see that this is trend exists here, too.

[Julie Gaum]

I sure agree with you girls. Recently the pictures offered on this site are of far better looking women than I ever recall in the past. Just ordered online a dozen outfits and a second wig. Though they are in keeping with my age (or at least within 15 years of it) I expect to present and blend in but darn I wish I did this 50 years ago.
I think my splurge is to give vent to recent tragedy and living alone for first time in 55 years. And why not for maybe I'll live a few more years so why not enjoy it?
Julie

[AnitaH]

I would agree with Michelle55. I would also would look a lot better as a man if I put in the amount of effort into my male appearance as I do Anita's appearance.

AnitaH

[ReineD]

I for one believe this is true to some extent because when we really try to look feminine it works, Many of you girls are stunning and should have been born Female. The question was asked before would you had rather been born a female my answer is yes. Many say No I like being a man and being able to change back and forth. Being smoth all over and working on the right walk and being proud sends out a signal, yes I am a woman.

Anyone, either birth-male or female, who spends several hours prepping for a feminine look: epilating, moisturising, taking care of hair, nails, choosing a fashionable outfit, hose, shoes, etc, will look more like the women in catalogs than the people who just get up, pass a comb through their hair, brush their teeth, pull on a pair of jeans and walk out the door. Think of this ... the drag queens who are not TG and who identify solidly as men (gay or straight), manage to do this probably better than anyone.

The question is, would you be happy looking like a female who doesn't do all of this, like the rest of us? Say you decide to grow your own hair and your fingernails. Say you even have facial feminization surgery to correct a square male jaw and brow (if yours are particularly male looking), and you get rid of your adam's apple (if you have one), and you also have laser beard removal to get rid of any beard shadow. And say you have enough pectoral development to squeeze into an A or B bra. Would you be happy getting up, putting on a bra, a Tshirt, and a pair of jeans and sneakers (and not shaving your legs like I do, when I know that I'll be wearing jeans :p), combing your hair, brushing your teeth, ignoring the 3 or 4 fingernails that tore yesterday while you were doing yardwork, and walking out the door?

Would this make you feel feminine?

I ask, because I wonder if your focus is more on the cosmetic aspects of being female, than on feeling internally female when none of the adornments are present.

[DeniseNJ]

Reine: you always have a intense outlook and tend to rationalize (Life as a crossdresser) I ask you what do really think about M/F crossdressing? Do you actually put on make-up ,is that really you in the avatar?? You disect ones opinion like a surgon, it says GG above your name are you truely a woman still trying to figure out why a guy would like to feel like a true GG. Your a tough nut to crack, I mean you have over 14K posts in here do you support a guys choise to feel feminine or are you actually against the crossdresser trying to reform our beliefs. Tell us all what makes you feel good as a person???

[Diane Maple]

resp to the original subject:
I hope so, I want to feel like I look great from head to toe before I go out... ... I still haven't.

resp to the do you want to live as a woman description ReineD made:
Yes and No. I did once, when I was I think 11 or so, I wanted to be a girl and a woman. My mom asked me once if I wanted to be a girl... I froze, and said no.
Growing up and being a man for all these years I see that women and men have many of the same issue. Do I want to still be a woman? part time yes. I am cross dressing and learning to .. in order to experience what I denied myself all those years ago. Do I want to transition and live every day as a woman? No, I see how hard it is for women every day and I have a family. I still like to feel beautiful even as a man. I am trying improve my guy look with skills I am learning from cross dressing. No reason not to look your best as a guy or a girl. As it seems to me that in our society "men" deny themselves lots of things that would make them look cleaner, nicer because that would make them fem. ... where am I going with this... I hate that society make men be rough and tough or at least the area I am in treats you different if your not. If looking good and feeling good about how I look is fem, then yes, I want to feel feminine most days. Some days, yea, I just want to get out of bed and go just like any woman would...

Sorry, if I got off on a tangent there...

[DeniseNJ]

Diane I respect your truthfulness, we are all diferent No, I know I can't live 24/7 as a woman life and society wouldn't stand for it . I have concerns about what others would think and how I would hurt my loved ones. Yes, I enjoy the little things that make me feel feminine like pedicures I want to try my hardest to be passable if I were to go out so that I would not draw too much negative attention I dream of getting my ears pierced but have not the courage to do so as not to cause problems with the ones I know. Yes I push the boundries and I sorta let the cat out of the bag at times . I also dream of getting a full set of gel nails done AGAIN I can not just because. MY original post is that we crossdressers are getting better as looking more like women than in past years and I say BRAVO to that!!!

[ReineD]

Sorry for the analytical approach, and yes I do very much support the crossdressing. I also support those who feel they need to transition.

And yes, my avatar is me, as is my profile pic.

Back to your comments, one of the things that I notice frequently among many of the crossdressers, is the idea that to put on a wig, makeup, nylons, heels, etc, makes someone a woman. I disagree with this because I do not believe that the degree to which we groom ourselves, or our choices of careers, or our preferred hobbies and interests, defines our genders. A lot of GGs could care less about extensive grooming. They do not feel any less womanly if they go out with no makeup or they don't shave their legs under their jeans, than when they're all decked out going to the company Christmas party.

I do agree though, that dressing makes crossdressers feel feminine compared to their male states and certainly I gather from many of the posts here that CDers feel personally more attractive when they dress compared to when they don't. When I dress up to the nines and spend time on makeup, hair, etc, I do not feel more feminine (I always feel feminine), but I do feel prettier than when I've set out to spackle my SO's bathroom ceiling.

There is a difference between feeling feminine or more attractive when dressed, and feeling as if one is a woman who is born in the wrong body. A HUGE difference.

My SO does all the things that you do and I support her unconditionally. We even go out dressed together often. But, my SO is also very real about who s/he is and I admire her/him for this. S/he knows that s/he is not transsexual and by this I mean that he does not experience gender dysphoria to the point where he sees his male anatomy as an accident of nature, that must be removed in order to preserve his sanity. And because of this, in all good conscience s/he cannot say that the act of grooming or looking a certain way nullifies the male parts of her entirely and "makes her a woman". If this makes sense. In other words, my SO has the ability to look at the whole picture, and I admire this tremendously. S/he is also very balanced in his/her approach to her/his dual-gendered life.

Maybe I should keep quiet when I read posts from CDers who believe that spending time on their appearance changes their gender. And if you are transsexual and you really do feel as if you are a woman born in the wrong body (which means that no part of being male would appeal to you), then I apologize for having misread the intention behind your words. But, I visit the TS section quite a bit and I've got to tell you that no transitioned/transitioning TS will say that looking a certain way is what makes her feel like a woman, or that she even feels more "womanly" than other women, GG or otherwise if she has more makeup on or a prettier dress. :straightface: In fact, TSs will say that the crossdressing makes them feel worse, because it is a stark reminder that their bodies are not aligned with the female gender they feel they are internally. When they dress, they feel a great deal of discomfort, until they begin to take active steps towards physical transition which begins with hormones and progresses to SRS, breast augmentation, and often FFS, since the goal is to never be read as a man, ever. And few genetic men can accomplish this without FFS, even if they've been on HRT for years.

I don't know if I'm explaining it adequately. This is certainly not a post about who is better, TSs or CDs. I am in love with someone who is dualgender (identities as both male and female), and I see my SO's gender identity as being entirely valid, as is everyone's here. But, my SO does not believe that she is someone that s/he isn't. If she did believe that she was a woman, she would go full steam ahead for transition.

[Eryn]

Maybe I should keep quiet...

No you shouldn't. Even if you catch a little flack it means that you inspired someone to think! :)

I can never figure out what people mean when they say they "feel feminine" since I can't even figure out what "feeling masculine" is and I'm _supposed_ to know what that is. All I know is that when I'm out dressed I can be a completely different person experiencing things that are forbidden to me as a male and that is very enjoyable. It's like a vacation from being drab.

Now, that may seem superficial, but that's where I am and I'm happy with it. I can do a pretty good job of looking feminine, and can walk through a crowd without drawing more attention than a tall fiftysomething woman would normally draw. I'll never be beautiful, but then again being truly beautiful brings with it its own set of difficulties!

[bridget thronton]

Please continue to comment Reine. I love reading your posts.

Back to commenting on the OP. Truthfully, i adjust my grooming to my activities and my available time - when I am busy or doing physical activities I dress for comfort (no makeup and probably shorts or pants). I do think i look better with make up than without it)

[noeleena]

Hi,

My ? will be , will or would you join women only groups, can you , the crunch is how many here would soon be found out or sussed . then what,

many here will allways be better dressed than i , ill use the blend & pass the test of looking better clothes makeup shoes & all the time you spend getting ready proberly walk better maybe act the part, even be more feminine .

I know as iv said before you would embarris me you would make me look out of place & proberly thinking what the hell is the game im playing trying to be like a woman. trying to pass as one or let alone being one. you would pass me by with out much thought, or think heres a male trying to be what im not,

My pics taken some 50 years ago age 10 i did not really like when Jos & i were married 37 years ago i still did not like, 5 years ago just the same. & any taken from then to now , I still dont like, never have & never will.

My detail i look to bloody much like a male. & i cant shake that, as to a photo shot even with makeup. bollicks to that it does nothing for me. & as a woman friend said to me i must have made a very handsome looking male years ago.

So what show have i got to change that ...none...

& to top it off this as stated..... feeling feminine ....OH dear....

So if i stop here & say no more , i wonder what youd think of myself, So id better say .For those who dont know who this weird kid is .

Im an intersexed woman born both , male & female though Psychologically ..Mentaly ..& Emotionally , im a female / woman from birth, so that being the case im just different ,Yet accepted as a normal woman pretty much where ever i go. & includes those womens groups as a member ,

So i may not have the passablity in looks i can still be who i am .just a woman,


...noeleena...

[AllieSF]

I am one of those that feel good in guy or gal mode. I am not two different people and like dressing up in a nice suit and tie with polished shoes to go to a play. I also like to dress up in a skirt or dress with nice and comfortable heels and go to the same theater to see a different play. Dressing as a woman is my play time to have fun and interact more with the strangers I meet when out on the town. Are we getting better at transforming our male selves into a female version? I would say yes to those that have been here awhile and emulate those that do a good job. However, there still are a lot of newbies out there that still need to work on improving their presentation to the level where they will be satisfied. So, if you have been here long enough, you probably have improved. If you are a newbie to crossdressing and to this site, you probably have a lot of improvements that you can make.

[KatieTaylor]

The more we practice anything the better we get at it. Whether it's playing an instument, exercising or presenting as a female. So it only seems logical that the more someone crossdresses, the more realistic/passable/feminine they will appear.
Katie Taylor x

[Celeste]

I have seen a dramatic increase in younger members here over the last 5 years ...and yea,they are looking fantastic.It is a reflection of changing attitudes out there.

[Beverley Sims]

I blame all the hormones in the chicken meat, the atomic tests in Nevada and high speed aeroplanes.
Then maybe it's the politicians, I think there is an election brewing.
When you are twenty, remember you are now starting to go downhill. Sigh! :)

[Karren H]

Doesn't mater if I put the same amount effort into grooming in male mode as I do enfemme..... I'd still think I look like an old guy not wearing a dress vs an old guy wearing a dress.....

[Ressie]

Having menstrual cycles, PMS and getting pregnant don't sound all that great to me. I also think a great deal of women have a hard time struggling with keeping their weight down now days. Either that, or be content being overweight. Add all of the other women's issues like career vs. marriage. Now do I wish I was born a woman? No.

OK, let's assume you could be a GG that is knock out gorgeous as opposed to fat and ugly. This would of course be much more desirable, but the issues above still apply.

Yes, most of us are getting better at applying makeup (thanks youtube) and all the rest. But we could send a young good looking straight guy to get a transformation makeover and he'll be better looking and more passable then most on this board (at least in photos taken). And photos are all you're going by. I think most of us only post photos that are cherry picked among what we have.

Keep wishing and maybe in your next life you'll have the experience of being a GG. The womanly feelings we have when dressed might not be much at all the way real women feel. There's no way to know.

[MsRenee]

I agree that the girls are looking better these days. I remember when I first started dressing dang I went from being a redhead to a blonde just the change in hair color did wonders. Now Ive got it down to were it takes me anhour to get dressed and out the door. A far cry from when it took me almost 2 1/2 hrs and didnt look this good. I think we put just a little more effort into ourselves and Ive noticed my s/o has been wearing makeup more often and dressing with me on my days off.
Renee

[Foxglove]

The question is, would you be happy looking like a female who doesn't do all of this, like the rest of us? . . . Would you be happy getting up, putting on a bra, a Tshirt, and a pair of jeans and sneakers (and not shaving your legs like I do, when I know that I'll be wearing jeans :p), combing your hair, brushing your teeth, ignoring the 3 or 4 fingernails that tore yesterday while you were doing yardwork, and walking out the door?

Would this make you feel feminine?



Oh, yes, no doubt about it.

As things stand, you see, I have to do a lot of work to get an acceptable look and feel. Would it make me happy if could have that acceptable look and feel without having to do so much work? Of course.

Actually, Reine, your question is very timely. In three weeks there's a TG event I'm planning on going to. On Saturday there's a talk-shop (yack-yack-yack en femme, as opposed to yuck-yuck-yuck in drab). Then on Sunday there's hill-walking. I've done hill-walking in drab thousands of times. Wouldn't a bit of TG hill-walking be fun?

How exactly to go about it, though? It sounds a bit silly to get all done up to go hill-walking, doesn't it? In fact it sounds very silly. But if I'm going to do TG hill-walking, I want to be TG, i.e., fem. So I'm trying to decide what's the minimum of makeup I can get by with and not look like Frankenstein (or Frankenstina)? I'm going to experiment beforehand and see if I can come up with an acceptable compromise.

So you're asking, if I could just throw on a T-shirt and jeans and still look and feel fem, would that be good enough for me? Sure. It would make things a lot easier, wouldn't it?

Best wishes, Annabelle

P.S. Sorry, Reine, but you must shave your legs. That's a rule. Didn't your mother ever give you "the car-crash scenario"?

[suchacutie]

Hi Reine, and I love your posts so please don't ever stop. I'm going to try to put a slightly different spin on all of this from the perspective of the process of transitioning to Tina the very complicated emotions that are a part of that process.

As I've said many times on this forum, we keep my gendered selves pretty separate. Last Sunday my wife asked me if Tina was going to visit and I explained that there was a football game I wanted to see and Tina would just not be interested. My male self was necessary for that football game!

During the process of transformation, hundreds of little changes happen as the body is prepared and clothes change. I've often talked about masculine and feminine "clues" that we give off in the process of meeting other people. For me, these "clues" also have a self-catalyzing effect. As the process of transformation takes place, the feminine clues replace the masculine clues and that feedback mechanism is a snowball rolling downhill until Tina walks out of the bathroom with her necklace in place! All of the clues are constant reminders of who I am (in either gender). It's a constant reminder of who Tina is and is tremendously comforting. The few times I've been short of time and have left off part of the process, it just felt unfinished somehow and I wasn't sure who I was, if that makes any sense.

All of this may be that Tina is still too new and needs all this feedback, and maybe it's because we need (want?) such a separation of genders that leaving out the makeup, or the hair, or the heels just doesn't feel right. It's Tina ok, but it just feels out of sync.

That feedback, those feminine clues, those reminders of who Tina is just seems to add a comfort. Maybe that's what ritual is all about in the end...comfort.

[Stephanie47]

I strive to be a better looking and healthier person, period! Several years ago I noticed in family pictures I was getting the 'male pregnant look.' My eyes had not seen that in the mirror. I decided to stop eating and drinking sugary drinks and start restricting unhealthy food. I stopped the increase in weight, but, it did not begin to fall. Then two years ago I was diagnosed as a diabetic. It turned out I was undiagnosed for fifteen plus years. That diagnosis brought immediate action which has been beneficial to Stephanie and her twin brother. I have dropped twenty pounds. My bad cholesterol has gone down 20 points. My glucose fasting readings are almost normal without medication. The diet and exercise has slimmed my body. I have to wear a belt to keep my size forty pants from sliding off my hips.

My point is in order to look attractive as a woman, you also need to be attractive as a man. A man cannot use makeup to conceal the facial flaws a woman can hide. And, when we want to appear as a woman, yes, we can hide those flaws.

Yes, there are many younger members here who are definitely knockouts. But, as we age you may not look like you were in your twenties. You want to age gracefully. That means paying attention to your health. There are many many men and women at the mall who will never look attractive as a man or as a woman.

I will never look like the guy I was at 23: 175 pounds, 38 Tall, 30 inch waist, 6 foot 1, wavy thick blond hair, clear face. Yes, a little makeup will make me look like an attractive woman my age because I am striving to also look like a man, who would attract women.

[DeniseNJ]

Ok I read the responses and Renie I envy your partner that has a person in his/her life that is accepting.Maybe I explain it wrong but when I was at the Avenue and put on those skinny jeans with the new heels with my new pedicure I didn't feel manly I say the image of a womans legs and feet down there . Yes I am older but at what age does a GG start not to feel feminine. When I look at pretty young girls and say WOW I wish I looked like that maybe it is my enviness that says I am a woman trapped in a guys body. I enjoy my male side, I enjoy drag racing and so do alot more girls than there were than 10 years ago. Wow can one look down at their shaved legs in peep toe pumps and say feel Macho. You just don't. Maybe I don't explain myself but I like the look of feminity if that is at all possible. I would rather have a nice french manicure than grease under my stubby chewed up nails. do I want my thing chopped off probably not but I do want to feel pretty and when you older and balding to me dressing as a woman taked 10 years off of my life and I feel better. tell me how masquline does this picture look

[NicoleScott]

P.S. Sorry, Reine, but you must shave your legs. That's a rule. Didn't your mother ever give you "the car-crash scenario"?

Never heard this one. But I wasn't raised as a girl.
So for girls it's clean-shaven legs, and for boys it's, clean underwear?

[ReineD]

Yes I am older but at what age does a GG start not to feel feminine.

I don't know about other GGs, but I always feel feminine, even when I don't shave my legs. :D Sometimes I feel prettier than other times (when I take the time to groom myself for a special evening for example), but I always feel feminine even when I'm covered in drywall compound and plaster dust (I've been helping to refinish my SO's bathroom). I always know that I am a woman. I don't know how to explain this other than to say that I feel within myself a different sexual energy (no matter how I look) that is in sharp contrast to the energy I feel emanating from the men around me.



maybe it is my enviness that says I am a woman trapped in a guys body.


Maybe I don't explain myself but I like the look of feminity if that is at all possible.

OK, so our discussion was just about semantics then. :p This happens a lot in forums. People use different words to really mean the same thing.

Yes, you are a CDer, so you do enjoy feeling more feminine, compared to your male state. You are attracted to feminine things and you want to look pretty. I would venture to say that you enjoy looking pretty probably more often than I do, since internally, I feel feminine all the time so for me there is really no need to. If this makes sense. But at the same time, you are not transsexual (you do not wish to eradicate your male self). So I'd say that you feel a desire to express femininity and expressing it makes you feel good, rather than say you are a woman trapped in a man's body. :hugs:

[Brittany CD]

Here's my take

I think I look good as a male and female. Putting on dresses is something I do for fun. Crossdressing is just a fun thing I do

[Tracii G]

Reine will you be my therapist?
Maybe you can help me here I'm a guy I know that but I don't feel like a guy most of the time.
I know my place in the scheme of things so I can act like a man if I am forced to.
When I wake up I feel the same every day more female than male.I have days when I want to pretty up and wear something super classy and go out on the town.
Most days its casual as most any girl out there.I live that way everyday and don't worry what the masses think, I go about my business as everyone does.
I don't try to be anything other than me some days no make up some days light make up.Some days a wig some days no wig I really feel no different if I wear one.
Some here I can't figure out what drives them but thats OK to each his/her own.
To some I know its a release from having to be one gender or the other and that is how they deal with it.
I choose to be who I am inside all the time.
I don't know what label I am or if I even have one.LOL

[sometimes_miss]

Ahhh, the joy of the pink fog. We're better looking as females than real females. Suuuuuuuurrrrrrre. While I guess there are some really ugly women out there who don't make any effort to look good, my ex on her worst day in her worst outfit looked more female than 99.99% of the guys here and anywhere when they try to dress and look like women (that includes the actors like in 'la cage', etc), and she was probably what, a 4 on the scale of 1 to 10? What can I say. Enjoy the delusion. But that's all it is. While I don't like to be the downer, sure, some can put on makeup and do their hair/wig and from the neck up 'pass'. Others are lucky enough to have the facial and/or body bone structure to fool a few more. Then you take the next step and get the ones who have the female body movements down perfect, without going overboard. But even with the whole package, which only a fraction of us have, there's usually a 'tell' that gives us away.

[Alliecat]

I don't feel better looking as male or female, they are just different. I'm sure looking good en femme is mostly in my head, but who cares. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think "damn I look cute in this dress!"

[ReineD]

Tracii, I'm no expert, but probably a telling sign would be how you feel about your penis. You don't have to answer here, but if you don't want to get rid of it, then you're likely not a woman who is born in the wrong body.

If you feel you do not relate to men yet you are happy with your male body, then maybe you are a combined gender: bigender, or dualgender, or gender non-conforming. Or two-spirit. Or just Tracii.

In terms of presentation and this is only my opinion (which changes a lot BTW), if you get a thrill out of presenting as a woman, this is different that if you don't. The first is transvestic fetichism, and the latter is gender expression, even if you do not have severe gender dysphoria.

That's the best I can do. :p Have you ever considered taking to a gender therapist?

[Angela Campbell]

For me it is a lifetime of being expected to act and look like a man. I wanted to be a girl since my earliest recollections. I did what I was told to do and married and had kids but always found ways to be a little feminine, bracelets, necklaces, even picking out male underwear that was a small bit like womens. I guess just to give hints. All my life I felt like if it was possible for me I would sign up for a sex change with no remorse at all except for the feelings of my family. As far as my feelings about my penis .....to me it is just inside out...a birth defect.

When I dress up it is only so I can see myself as I always wanted to be. No sexual thrill at all just looking at what I want to be. A little like when you lose a lot of weight and look in the mirror and see what you always saw inside of your self.

[DeniseNJ]

You know, I think Reine has me figured out Yes it (MAKES Me FEEL GOOD) and I make statements that don't actually describe how I feel. You are a wize woman with a wealth of knowledge. so for now I will try at times to make me happy and if that takes presenting as a female , dressing and putting on make-up I will. :) When you break it down it make perfect sense

[Tabitha Storm]

I can relate a lot to this discussion. I definitely feel more confident about myself when dressed as a woman. I think I make a better looking woman than man. I have a fast metabolism and I am skinny. It works well for Tabitha but as a guy it is very hard to find a woman who find that physically attractive. Yes I work out and all that but it just keeps me lean it does not add mass. It was tough in my early years but now I am learning to accept Tabitha as a part of me. So now it only sucks cause I am single.

[justmetoo]

No you shouldn't. Even if you catch a little flack it means that you inspired someone to think! :)

I can never figure out what people mean when they say they "feel feminine" since I can't even figure out what "feeling masculine" is and I'm _supposed_ to know what that is. All I know is that when I'm out dressed I can be a completely different person experiencing things that are forbidden to me as a male and that is very enjoyable. It's like a vacation from being drab.

Now, that may seem superficial, but that's where I am and I'm happy with it. I can do a pretty good job of looking feminine, and can walk through a crowd without drawing more attention than a tall fiftysomething woman would normally draw. I'll never be beautiful, but then again being truly beautiful brings with it its own set of difficulties!
I agree with Eryn, both about Reine's posts and about "feeling feminine" or "masculine". I could've written a lot of that. I'm me. Most of the time that means wearing t-shirt and jeans and looking like a guy. Once in a while it means getting dolled up and trying to look pretty.

(also, gotta like someone who quotes Firefly, TBBT, and Feynman, with good quotes, too) :)

[JenniferR771]

I always read your posts, Reine. Keep up the thoughtful comments.
Myself, I get pleasure out of looking like an attractive woman. My mirror is all important. Subtract pretty hair--not as good. Subtract cute shoes--ho hum. Wash off the makeup--yuck. No boobs--dullsville. Jeans and sneakers--not much interested.

This week I went shopping, and I was drab except for my short hair wig. I didn't feel pleasure or sexy, and I looked a lot like the women around me. Sad, but I passed easily--blended in. I almost forgot what I looked like.

[DebbieL]

Growing up, from as young as 2 years old, people used to think I was cute or pretty. When I used TAAS to add a wig and minimal make-up almost every picture looked like a girl. In 8th and 9th grade, I grew my hair much longer and many people thought I should have been a girl. I had high cheekbones, a tapered face, long thick eyelashes, and hair that was baby fine but very dense giving me lots of gentle rolling waves with no care required. Even as I got older, I was blessed with long wavy hair. Of course, I also suffered because of this. The boys called me "sissy", but they ALSO hit me with sticks and threw stones at me. Eventually, I avoided the violence by staying after school so I could do my schoolwork there. I actually had above average intelligence, read nearly a decade above my grade level, and had no trouble answering questions in class, but I didn't do the written work during the day. I think I had learned that if I just listened to both lectures, and did my work after class, and left an hour or so later, that I could completely avoid and evade the bullies.

Of course, in the privacy of my home, while my mother was at work, and I was home alone, or in the wee hours of the morning, often 3AM or later, I would get dressed. By the time I was 10 years old, my mother's clothes actually fit, and she had a wig. I didn't even need make-up to look like a very pretty girl, as pretty as any other girl in my class.

My senior year of high school, I grew a beard, to try and look more like a boy, also because I was looking at a role. The hair came in dark and curly, yet it looked very unnatural. I kept it for the show, then shaved it off. I wish I had waxed it off.

My Sophomore year of College, I sang the role of Caiaphas in Jesus Christ Super Star, I had the low notes required, and even had a nice strong high F. But even with a beard I had been growing for nearly 6 months, I still looked and moved like a sissy. To get my movement to be more masculine, the choreographer put 20 lbs weights around my ankles and wrists, and made me wear them all day long for almost a month. I'd take them of or my modern dance class. Fortunately, the costume had long layers of heavy draped robes, and I wore footwear that completely covered my feet. I was able to pull off acting like a man, even if only for a few hours at a time.

Fast-forward almost 20 years, about 40 years old, I had stopped dressing as Debbie for 6 months, and as a result, had started to gain weight. When I shot past 200 lbs, I began to move more like a man, and I found that I didn't even like looking at my reflection in the mirror when I dressed up. If it weren't for my children, and a purpose so much bigger than myself that I was used by it, I might have just given up on life completely. Fortunately I had a very supportive girl-friend. We didn't see each other often, maybe one week-end a month, but when we were together, she would encourage me to get dressed, even go out on dates with Debbie. Then she would let Debbie seduce her, tease her, please her, and giver her lots of pleasure, then she would tie me up and seduce me as if I was a girl, eventually getting me off with a "magic wand".

After a stroke, and after my project had taken on a life of it's own, and no longer needed me to keep driving it forward, I decided that I wanted to be pretty again. I lost 85 lbs and went from size 24 to size 14 (pants) in 14 months. I started dressing, doing make-up, and looking pretty. It was really amazing! As a man, I looked younger than my actual age, 55 years old, unless I grew a beard. When I grew the beard in Saudi Arabia, it came in salt-and-pepper - but mostly whitish grey. I looked like a 60 year old man. But when I got dressed up as Debbie, with hair and make-up, I looked more like a 40 year old woman than a 50+ year old woman.

[Tracii G]

Thanks Reine.
No I have never seen a therapist.

[DeniseNJ]

Debbie what a interesting read tho I am past 200 lbs I still reflect on your thoughts of feeling pretty bigger girls can feel pretty can't they!!

[Erica2Sweet]

...I wonder if your focus is more on the cosmetic aspects of being female, than on feeling internally female when none of the adornments are present.

You just saved me a fairly substantial amount of typing. Thanks Reine! :)

When I see the topic of "I'd rather be a woman" vs. just being content with dressing the part, there's never anything mentioned about how awesome it would be to worry about menstruation, breast cancer, gynecological exams, pregnancy, HPV, or ovarian cysts.

Despite all that, women are clearly spectacular creatures. But I've become quite aware of concept of "the grass is greener on the other side", and I'm just fine with dabbling in femininity the way I do it now.

[Erica2Sweet]

...as a girl im a lot happier when i look at myself, it looks as right as it feels and i have a lot more confidence in my appearance...

Hi katie. I showed my wife this thread and she was wondering, bearing in mind your statement above, why did you crop your head out of your avatar?