Coming out to my family

[girlyboy13]

So I need some help finding the courage to tell my family and friend's that I like to crossdress and that I'm a cross-dresser. I'm very shy and am very fraggel. I'm not sure what to tell all of them or even how to put it. Any advice? anybody?

[Saffron]

You can get a lot of ideas from here: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?181784-Coming-out-planning

[Madam Rose]

If I where you I'd drop the ball and see how they take it. If they deisown you well then they weren't your family to begin with.

[arbon]

what family - parents, siblings or wife and children - why do you need to tell them?

[Tracii G]

That is a hard question to answer if we knew the whole story(if you choose to tell us) that would help.
There is a huge difference in CDing and its many different forms its not a one size fits all thing here.
Do you see yourself as trans gendered, bi gendered or possibly transitioning to a female?
Coming to terms with who you are is what you need to do first and do some studying on all the different aspects of gender issues.
Understanding why you dress is very important for your own well being.
Telling family and not really knowing what is driving you to crossdress is like going to a gun fight with a bag of marshmallows.
When the family starts asking questions and you say IDK I just do that is not a well informed answer.
You need to be ready to answer all the questions intelligently.

[Joanne f]

If you are quite shy and do not know how to tell them then it may be a good idea to reverse that and let them come to you or ask you when they want to know something in that way it will take the pressure off you in thinking that you have to say something first , it might also help if you take it slowly in what you are wearing in front of them as this gets you all use to a change in dress style , a bit like warming a glass before you put hot water into it ,less shock ,less chance of damage.

[Beverley Sims]

Welcome to the forum, I hope you find it helpful.
I would ask advice of the forum and give it at least a couple of months before I ask the question again.
Then make up your mind.
Maybe you do not need to tell anyone.

[dallasmann]

My CD'ing is mine, not 'ours'.

[Cynthia Anne]

I don't tell anyone anything! They can tell by looking at me! I don't give a rats --- of what they think!

[Mollyanne]

That is a hard question to answer if we knew the whole story(if you choose to tell us) that would help.
There is a huge difference in CDing and its many different forms its not a one size fits all thing here.
Do you see yourself as trans gendered, bi gendered or possibly transitioning to a female?
Coming to terms with who you are is what you need to do first and do some studying on all the different aspects of gender issues.
Understanding why you dress is very important for your own well being.
Telling family and not really knowing what is driving you to crossdress is like going to a gun fight with a bag of marshmallows.
When the family starts asking questions and you say IDK I just do that is not a well informed answer.
You need to be ready to answer all the questions intelligently.

Traci, that is a wonderful piece of advice!!!!!!

Molly

[Tina B.]

Girly, you say your shy and fragile, but you don't say anything about your family. How understanding do you think they will be? If they are not understanding, how well can you stand up to them, and how dependent are you on them? Why do feel the need to tell them, and what do you want to tell them? I couldn't possibly offer any advice with out knowing these things, and some I'm sure I haven't even thought of yet.
Tina B.

[girlyboy13]

Well for starter's. My Family is very let's say, Religious. They believe that a male should be a male and a Female should be a Female. There against gay's ,Lesbians ,Bisexual's , transsexual you know. They always comment on people and are such an ass about it.

[arbon]

Then why do you want to tell them?

[MsRenee]

Thats a hard question that we all will or all face sometime in life. It will happen when you feel it is time. Is it that you wat to just get out there or are needing someone to confide in. You said your family is religious,have you thought about talking with your church pastor just to get some of the pressure off of you. That may help you become alittle bit srronger and less shy to were in the near future you can sit down with your family and let them in on your inner self..Wishing you luck on this and you can always find someone here with some good advice on anything.
Renee

[whowhatwhen]

Well for starter's. My Family is very let's say, Religious. They believe that a male should be a male and a Female should be a Female. There against gay's ,Lesbians ,Bisexual's , transsexual you know. They always comment on people and are such an ass about it.

If that's the case then I would have a backup plan before going ahead.
Not saying that they'd disown you and kick you to the curb, but it would be a good idea to have a place to stay and some support money in case they do.

Good luck!

[Jorja]

Oh, I would love to meet your family. I would have them hugging and kissing a transsexual woman in no time. ;)

[Alicew]

I preety much asked the same question here a few days ago and the best advice i got was wait because once its out the closet theres no taking it and putting it back in.

I have almost the same type of situation as you my parents are of the older generation not religious but set in their ways,my dads really really homophobic to the point of actually shouting and laughing in their face in public my mums not ,i accidentally came out to my mom during a simple conversation she now knows i maybe TS havent told her about the CDing yet,and even tho its ok shes accepting her opinion of me has changed slightly feels like walking on egg shells around her but were working on it, i wouldnt dream of telling my dad yet i just dont think im ready to face him yet as the real me.

If you just need some form of acceptance id suggest going to see your doctor and getting into therapy of some kind as no matter what yo utell them theres no judgements made its quite cathartic to be honest.

[girlyboy13]

Thats a hard question that we all will or all face sometime in life. It will happen when you feel it is time. Is it that you wat to just get out there or are needing someone to confide in. You said your family is religious,have you thought about talking with your church pastor just to get some of the pressure off of you. That may help you become alittle bit srronger and less shy to were in the near future you can sit down with your family and let them in on your inner self..Wishing you luck on this and you can always find someone here with some good advice on anything.
Renee
Thank you and I'll do that. :-)

[girlyboy13]

Then why do you want to tell them?

I guess...well, first off. It's just killing me having to keep secrets from. I want to be open and honest with them but I'm just to scared.

[Amy A]

Hi there,

You're young, I'm guessing you currently live with your parents. How long is it likely to be until you move out? If you do identify as a crossdresser rather than TS then my advice would be to try and hold out until you aren't in the position that you could lose the roof over your head. Once you do move out, you might find that there's much less pressure to tell them. I've never told my parents, and I don't see the point now unless I transition.

Waiting brings the added bonus of giving you more time to feel comfortable with yourself as well, like the other girls have suggested. I don't know your family but if you say they are against gender non comformity then it's best you tread carefully.

[Thera Home]

Hello GB

Your thread is like many other youngsters that post. Your folks are doing the best they can to raise thier son. Yes, sons sometimes have different ideas and so on. At this point you need to keep it stealth and carry on life as usual with the folks. Honor your parents and don't overstress them by giving them this info. They don't need to know it yet. Once you establish your life and are moving forward they'll see that you got a good head on you and at that point I believe they'll be ready to accept whatever part of you or ideas that you want to disclose to them.
Don't get all giddy and suddenly the world that your a girl or like to dress like one or whatever.

Thera

P.S. Put yourself in thier shoes,kiddo

[girlyboy13]

Hello GB

Your thread is like many other youngsters that post. Your folks are doing the best they can to raise thier son. Yes, sons sometimes have different ideas and so on. At this point you need to keep it stealth and carry on life as usual with the folks. Honor your parents and don't overstress them by giving them this info. They don't need to know it yet. Once you establish your life and are moving forward they'll see that you got a good head on you and at that point I believe they'll be ready to accept whatever part of you or ideas that you want to disclose to them.
Don't get all giddy and suddenly the world that your a girl or like to dress like one or whatever.

Thera

P.S. Put yourself in thier shoes,kiddo

That's So true!!!! I've never though of it that way!!!!!!!!!!!!!