My letter to HR

[ReneeT]

I have been working with my corporate diversity organization on the preliminary aspects of my transition and had my first joint call with Diversity and HR. i sent this letter, summarizing our conversation. Feel free to modify it to suit your needs:

Xxxxx and xxxxxxxb,
*
Thank you for the time you gave last Thursday and your interest in discussing my situation. As you might imagine, this is a* difficult process on all fronts, and I am grateful for your interest and support.* Our conversation* touched on many issues, and I want to summarize things for you from my perspective.* I do ask, though, that you hold this information in confidence for now, and that we discuss ahead of time its broader dissemination.
*
Probably the most logical place to start is with an overview of where things are now and where they are heading.* I have been in treatment for several years for a condition called "gender identity disorder", a condition recognized by the American Psychiatric Association and for which there are established treatment protocols.* Under the care of a mental health professional, I am currently progressing through a male-to-female gender transition as treatment for this condition. Transition consists of both non-surgical and surgical components, and I have been undergoing the non-surgical aspect for over two years.* Ultimately I will undergo multiple surgical operations to complete the process.* Upon completion, I will live openly in my female identified gender.
*
The timing of my complete transition is critical, as are the events leading up to it.* For family reasons, I am delaying my initial surgeries until June, 2013.* Upon recovery from those surgeries, which will significantly alter my appearance, I plan to return to work as female.* I anticipate a period of three to four weeks of recuperation and return to work at full capacity with no limitations.
*
Many issues must be considered to make this transition as smooth as possible and to minimize potential business impact.* One such issue is that of who and when to notify.* Obviously, my immediate managers and their leadership team will need to be informed ahead of time, as will select matrix partners.* The communication process ideally should include an educational component, the content and delivery mode of which is yet undefined.* There are, however, several individuals within this organization with whom I have particularly close relationships and will want to inform personally, face-to-face if possible.* Reality is that once one person has been informed, it will rapidly become difficult to control the message. An additional consideration is that of my current role.* As you know, I am (insert your work role here).* In this position I interact very frequently and in person with clients, providers, and others in the public space.* While I personally look forward to continuing in this role, I do realize that others with a less enlightened perspective may take issue with this.* At the end of the day, it is my desire to continue to contribute maximally to our organization and to be evaluated only on my ability to do so.* Given these realities, I am open to discussions about roles that would maximize this. While there are many other issues to consider, the final one I will mention here is that of the management of negative reactions, both internally and externally.* Proactive education and clear direction from senior leadership will be critical to reducing the incidence of such events, and an effective strategy to identify and address occurrences will be important.*
*
My condition and its treatment presents unique challenges for this organization, but they are not unique in a broader context.* Many other organizations, some similar in size and culture to xxxxx, have effectively managed this process.* For this reason, I am highly supportive of efforts to engage experienced outside consultants to guide decision making.* If I understood correctly, such actions are already underway.*
*
Again, I am grateful to you for your support.* I am personally highly invested in and committed to my transition being successful for me and for Xxxx.* I look forward to working closely with you and will keep you informed, well in advance, of significant events in my transition that will impact all of us.
*
Thanks

[Rianna Humble]

Nice letter. You show that you have thought things through carefully and are demonstrating a lot of commitment to your employer's company.

[CharleneT]

Very well written ! I have trouble with corporate "lingo" but you speak it well !!

[Nicki S]

Perhaps calling as it is now named "Gender Dysphoria" as opposed to "GID" is the only correction that I would have made.

[LeaP]

It's an excellent summation, Renée. It perfectly addresses all the typical HR concerns, process, communications, policies, etc.

I took particular note of the portion which deals with proactive handling of negative reactions and management responses. This must be dealt with top-down, and it has to be well understood among management that trans discrimination is to be taken as seriously as any other type. It has occurred to me that there would be a tendency among some to brush off comments and actions as understandable, perhaps to tolerate them in small gatherings and in private conversations (between management and staff, that is). Both education and policy instruction are critical to dealing with this.

[Pamela Kay]

Very well written Renee. The only part I was curious about is if you gave yourself enough recouperation time. Unless your counting time for the surgeries seperately, 3 to 4 weeks won't be enough in my estimation.

I'm in week two of six weeks off for FFS and another member told me she took eight weeks and wished she had taken more.
Don't cut yourself short on recovery time because as a physician you are well aware that not everyone heals at the same rate and there is always the possibility of complications.

Just my thoughts.

[EnglishRose]

(a wee bit off topic, but I keep meaning to ask.) What's with all the asterisks by the way?

[ReneeT]

(a wee bit off topic, but I keep meaning to ask.) What's with all the asterisks by the way?
I have no idea where the asterisks came from! Gremlins!

Nice letter. You show that you have thought things through carefully and are demonstrating a lot of commitment to your employer's company.
I actually care a great deal about my company. I have given them a good part of my life, and they have been good to me. I believe in what we do


Very well written ! I have trouble with corporate "lingo" but you speak it well !!
The key to corporate-speak is being able to say what you really mean without pissing people off. It helps if you can throw in a few quotes from your companies mission or non-discrimination statements


Perhaps calling as it is now named "Gender Dysphoria" as opposed to "GID" is the only correction that I would have made.
Actually, my diagnosis is gender identity disorder, icd 9 code 302.85


Very well written Renee. The only part I was curious about is if you gave yourself enough recouperation time. Unless your counting time for the surgeries seperately, 3 to 4 weeks won't be enough in my estimation.

I'm in week two of six weeks off for FFS and another member told me she took eight weeks and wished she had taken more.
Don't cut yourself short on recovery time because as a physician you are well aware that not everyone heals at the same rate and there is always the possibility of complications.

Just my thoughts.



My (likely)doc told me 3-6 wks, so i compromised. I honestly dont think i could stand 6 weeks off. Besides, for 4 weeks i can use vacation. Anything longer is STD at 60% salary.

[Pamela Kay]

I was lucky and they told me I could use sick leave Renee so I see where you're coming from because I thought I would have to use vacation too. I'm going full time when I get home and have a lot to do, legal name change, changing name on everything, more clothes to buy for work, etc. So I won't be sitting around a lot I don't think.

Best of luck with your surgery and transition to full time.

[PretzelGirl]

If I ever need a resume, I could use your writing talent. :-) As someone who has had to write some HR friendly documents, I will second the well done. The points are thought out well and present as suggestions that don't press. I think this will set the stage well. Good luck and I hope the few you tell personally button their lips.

[Nicki S]

Gender identity disorder (GID) is the formal diagnosis used by psychologists and physicians to describe persons who experience significant gender dysphoria (discontent with the sex they were assigned at birth and/or the gender roles associated with that sex). It describes the symptoms related to transsexualism, as well as less severe manifestations of gender dysphoria. GID is classified as a medical disorder by the ICD-10 CM[1] and by the DSM-IV TR.[2] It is likely that the new version of the DSM will replace this category with "Gender Dysphoria."[3]

[ReineD]

An additional consideration is that of my current role.* As you know, I am (insert your work role here).* In this position I interact very frequently and in person with clients, providers, and others in the public space.* While I personally look forward to continuing in this role, I do realize that others with a less enlightened perspective may take issue with this.* At the end of the day, it is my desire to continue to contribute maximally to our organization and to be evaluated only on my ability to do so.* Given these realities, I am open to discussions about roles that would maximize this.

You've been transitioning for some time and I gather your appearance has changed considerably. I'm curious, have you had any negative reactions from people that lead you to believe in a potential loss of clients/customers and is this why you wrote this? And are you saying that you would consider work that is not as public?

You're no doubt very good at what you do, and I can't imagine anyone in your profession (medical?) slighting you or becoming offended because you are undergoing an external gender change ... not as long as they continue to receive the same great service I'm sure that you provide. Business is business, isn't it? Do you foresee issues that may be non-existant?

[Rianna Humble]

Do you foresee issues that may be non-existant?

I appreciate that I cannot speak for Renee, but in my experience businesses always want to plan for issues that may not arise - especially with a change as radical as this.

Where I think that Renee has been brilliant is in putting these considerations into her text to show that she has thought about them and is willing to place interests of the company uppermost should one of these unlikely situations arise.

In taking this unselfish stance, Renee has maximised the potential for the business to support her should anyone try to make it an issue.

[ReneeT]

Gender identity disorder (GID) is the formal diagnosis used by psychologists and physicians to describe persons who experience significant gender dysphoria (discontent with the sex they were assigned at birth and/or the gender roles associated with that sex). It describes the symptoms related to transsexualism, as well as less severe manifestations of gender dysphoria. GID is classified as a medical disorder by the ICD-10 CM[1] and by the DSM-IV TR.[2] It is likely that the new version of the DSM will replace this category with "Gender Dysphoria."[3]

Thanks for the clarification. Who knew?????


You've been transitioning for some time and I gather your appearance has changed considerably. I'm curious, have you had any negative reactions from people that lead you to believe in a potential loss of clients/customers and is this why you wrote this? And are you saying that you would consider work that is not as public?

You're no doubt very good at what you do, and I can't imagine anyone in your profession (medical?) slighting you or becoming offended because you are undergoing an external gender change ... not as long as they continue to receive the same great service I'm sure that you provide. Business is business, isn't it? Do you foresee issues that may be non-existant?

Reine, you are right that i have had some fairly significant physical changes, but i do my best to minimize them at work. It is getting more difficult, though. Fortunately, I have had no overt adverse responses so far. I do expect some after i transition, though, as I live and work in the bible belt. This could potentially harm my organization, and it is for this reason I would entertain a less public role in my company. While business is business, mine is a people business, and sometimes people can be asses......

[Nicki S]

I read it elsewhere, but this particular description came from Wikipedia

[LeaP]

The DSM 5 will not be released until the 3rd week of May, 2013. Until the, the DSM 4 codes are in effect. Although it's highly unlikely at this point – the DSM 5 has probably been submitted for publication already – it is still possible for additional edits to happen.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Hi Renee...Gosh i'm so proud for you to be doing this!!

I would make one comment on your excellent letter.

would not refer to the concept of surgeries. It's not relevant and many people will find it purient and gross.....It's TMI

The idea that you are going to take some time off and come back with a fully female presentation is all that matters..the very well thought out plan to share this info is the meat of it all...

The idea that you may not be 100% is nobodies business..the idea that you will look very different is a given.. ffs is going to go very well for you, and it will be plenty obvious to everyone you had work done.

The timing can be totally attributed to family reasons, and everyone with even a teeny bit of compassion will totally understand why a person would delay this until family matters are sorted out..

Just my 2 cents, every situation is different, but I found over time that sharing gory details was counterproductive to my goals especially in a professional environment

[ReineD]

I do expect some after i transition, though, as I live and work in the bible belt.

This explains it, thanks.

I continue to wish you all the best, Renee. :hugs:

[Badtranny]

To the ladies who are quoting clinical verbiage and DSM codes and whatnot, I would remind you that Ms Renee is a surgeon by trade and currently the medical/surgical liaison for a rather large healthcare/insurance company. I doubt that any of us has the candle power to illuminate any of the clinical points in her letter.

[Nicki S]

Excuse me for adding my thought into a conversation where she asked for opinions. i will go back to my quiet corner...

[ReneeT]

I read it elsewhere, but this particular description came from Wikipedia

Nicki, the definition of GD you quoted is accurate, and is probably a more appealing term than GID. However, in doctor-speak, every diagnosis or condition is specifically defined and then mapped to a particular numeric code- the icd-9 code. These codes are the language of medical billing. In my case, GID is the specific diagnosis and was coded and billed that way, so that is how i refer to it. From a practical perspective, GID and GD are really interchangeable - choose the one you like the best. Kinda like tranny, tranvestite, transgender, blah blah blah. And, by the way, I love Wikipedia but would NEVER identify it as my source. I use it to get me started and point me to the authoritative reference. WP is no more than quasi-moderated group-think


Hi Renee...Gosh i'm so proud for you to be doing this!!

I would make one comment on your excellent letter.

would not refer to the concept of surgeries. It's not relevant and many people will find it purient and gross.....It's TMI

The idea that you are going to take some time off and come back with a fully female presentation is all that matters..the very well thought out plan to share this info is the meat of it all...

The idea that you may not be 100% is nobodies business..the idea that you will look very different is a given.. ffs is going to go very well for you, and it will be plenty obvious to everyone you had work done.

The timing can be totally attributed to family reasons, and everyone with even a teeny bit of compassion will totally understand why a person would delay this until family matters are sorted out..

Just my 2 cents, every situation is different, but I found over time that sharing gory details was counterproductive to my goals especially in a professional environment

Your two cents is worth gold. In retrospect I may have left out that reference. It will be obvious enough


To the ladies who are quoting clinical verbiage and DSM codes and whatnot, I would remind you that Ms Renee is a surgeon by trade and currently the medical/surgical liaison for a rather large healthcare/insurance company. I doubt that any of us has the candle power to illuminate any of the clinical points in her letter.

Wow! You know how to stroke a girl's ego! The check's in the mail! Truth be told, though, I do make mistakes from time to time, so it's good to have people like you to back me up!

[Kaitlyn Michele]

oops, sorry!!

...as i do on lots of stuff, i skipped the instructions!!!

I didn't notice you sent the letter.!!!

[Stephanie-L]

Renee, (or should I say Dr. Renee),
Thanks for posting this, it comes at a very good time for me. I am dealing with my own HR department in scheduling my FFS for March. One thing they did ask, without asking what the surgery was specifically, was whether the surgery was elective or medically necessary. The difference is that if it is elective I can just file for my time off as if it is a vacation, etc. If it is considered medically necessary, I need to file FMLA (Family and Medical Leave of Absence) paperwork. I know that we consider this a necessary procedure, but at least for FFS, it is considered cosmetic, so they just said to fill out the vacation request. Interestingly, I also found out that I am not the first transexual who has transitioned with our group (I work for one of the largest medical groups in the country), and I am also not the first to transition in the hospital where we are contracting, so that was a relief, not to have to break new ground. Another interesting thing, I told my immediate boss, who was cool with it, and he told me that a friend of his does the anesthesia for Marci Bowers, small world. Anyway, we are going to work on a plan for my "coming out" just before my surgery, and he will help to try and minimize the negative comments, etc. One thing I suggested is that I give a presentation on caring for the trans patient, we have had several over the years, and then make my announcement at the end. Thanks for posting as you have, it is very helpful to many of us here........Stephanie