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ReneeT
10-09-2012, 07:01 PM
Crossing over

In previous posts, i have talked of one way of looking at the stages of transition, as percieved by others: *from boy to boy-girl, to girl-boy, to girl. *I am well down the transition road, looking at surgery in less than a year. *Over that time i have passed thru the boy-girl stage (effeminate male) and think i am nw entering the next stage. *I have had several experiences in the last several days that make me think that way.

Late last week i was scheduled to see a surgeon for an ffs consult and didn't want to totally obscure my facial features, so i only wore light makeup and no wig. *I wore jeans, an unobtrussive blouse, and flip flops. *I have been letting my hair grow out and have it cut in a slightly feminine fashion. *On no less than three occasions that day i was referred to as "her" or" ma'am" or some other female pronoun, and I don't think they were just being kind. *It built my confidence enough that as i was driving the PA turnpike from Philly to Pittsburgh i used the womens rest room at the rest area. *No issues. *( i use the ladies room all the time full femme - duh- but this was the first time with no wig) The second experience occurred last night. *I ordered room service in my hotel but had already undressed and thrown on a t shirt to sleep in. *My hair was up in a head band and i still had traces of eye make up on. *I just threw on the hotel robe. *The bell man who delivered my dinner didnt take a second glance and was very engaging in conversation - not what i would have expected if he was wierded out by the tranny upstairs.

There is a downside to this all, though. *I have to function as a man in my job or the next *233 days, and it is getting progressively more difficult. I know i wont be able to continue grwing my hair out much longer- i am already pushing the limit. Being in this midle purgatory SUCKS!
Cindy M
10-09-2012, 07:35 PM
Hang in there Renee, because it's all gonna be worth it, and You are going to be what You should have been all along.

Love ya!
Cindy
LeaP
10-10-2012, 07:03 AM
I hear you, Renee, and I sympathize because your discomfort comes through clearly. But I still envy you your hair!

It is so interesting to hear about these changes from HRT alone. My therapist has commented strongly about this, remarking about how amazing the changes are on most of her patients. Bree's picture post the other day also comes to mind as an example.

I assume, however, that you are not going to use this feedback as a way to save money by not having FFS! :D
Michelle.M
10-10-2012, 08:17 AM
*I am well down the transition road, looking at surgery in less than a year. *

*I have to function as a man in my job or the next *233 days, and it is getting progressively more difficult.

Renee, I'm confused. At what point will you begin living full time prior to GRS? Or was the surgery you were referring to your FFS?
Kaitlyn Michele
10-10-2012, 08:40 AM
I'm happy for you Renee... I'm really glad your hard work and planning is resulting in progress and good experiences!
Pamela Kay
10-10-2012, 09:39 AM
You know Renee, there are a lot of guy's out there who wear pony tails.

Let that hair grow!
StaceyJane
10-10-2012, 02:01 PM
It's great that the HRT has had such an effect on you. I've been on HRT for almost two years and still I see the same old face in the mirror.
Laurie Ann
10-10-2012, 02:41 PM
Renee,

I am so happy you are traveling down the road to being that complete woman you truly are. The direction and preparation you write about are simply amazing I am awaiting your next steps.
Alicew
10-10-2012, 02:55 PM
See this is what fascinates me and scares me about the whole transition thing if going down the road you can start acting the way you want to inside how exactly can you stop doing it when it becomes second nature ,due to work for example wouldnt the back and too slow down the transition?
Dont get me wrong im not critisizing i understand you have to hide fascets of your self to get past some stuff just stuff bouncing round my head atmo.
ReneeT
10-10-2012, 09:43 PM
I hear you, Renee, and I sympathize because your discomfort comes through clearly. But I still envy you your hair!

It is so interesting to hear about these changes from HRT alone. My therapist has commented strongly about this, remarking about how amazing the changes are on most of her patients. Bree's picture post the other day also comes to mind as an example.

I assume, however, that you are not going to use this feedback as a way to save money by not having FFS! :D

No, ffs is a certainty. I don't look that good - not even close!


Renee, I'm confused. At what point will you begin living full time prior to GRS? Or was the surgery you were referring to your FFS?
I will officially start my rle following ffs next spring. Like what I am doing now isn't real!

You know Renee, there are a lot of guy's out there who wear pony tails.

Let that hair grow!

Not in my work world they don't! I am already pushing it, and my hair isn't over my ears yet!


Renee,

I am so happy you are traveling down the road to being that complete woman you truly are. The direction and preparation you write about are simply amazing I am awaiting your next steps.

Me too! Awaiting the next steps, that as. As I said before, this limbo sucks!


See this is what fascinates me and scares me about the whole transition thing if going down the road you can start acting the way you want to inside how exactly can you stop doing it when it becomes second nature ,due to work for example wouldnt the back and too slow down the transition?
Dont get me wrong im not critisizing i understand you have to hide fascets of your self to get past some stuff just stuff bouncing round my head atmo.

like i said above, being in the middle, living two lives, sucks. This has been one of the hardest things so far. There is no way around it for me - the path to completing transition includes this mandatory "mini hell"