Just a cd or a Bi?

[karusiskaru]

So until this point I was happy being just a crossdresser. But for a while now when I am in 'girl' mode I have started fantasizing about guys.. I guess as a part of what I naturally feel as a girl.. I am not sure if I like guys as a guy. I understand that it is a grey area but has anybody gone through such a phase?

[ArleneRaquel]

I have and for many years I believed I was bi when dressed enfemme only, I now realize that I always had bi inclinations. Best wishes in your CD life.

[JUSTME]

I have had similar thoughts, but for me I think I am more curious about the physical act of sex while in girl mode. Absolutely nothing physically attracts me to a man while dressed or not.

[biggirlsarah]

I have always been confused about my sexuality I suppose that I come (sorry ) under the bi umbrella , I have always fantasied about having a man and when I had the opportunity I thought it is now or never , so I did and to be quite honest it was a really good experience , but when the opportunity came up again but I wasn't dressed , I did it again and afterwards I felt guilty and confused , for my male persona it wasn't as good as for my female persona , I dont know if this helps , but that is an outline of my personal experience , love and hugs Sarah xxx

[whowhatwhen]

So until this point I was happy being just a crossdresser. But for a while now when I am in 'girl' mode I have started fantasizing about guys.. I guess as a part of what I naturally feel as a girl.. I am not sure if I like guys as a guy. I understand that it is a grey area but has anybody gone through such a phase?

Heya!
Actually it's quite common and there have been numerous threads on the topic of what it means.

The thing about being bi or gay is that the crossdressing shouldn't change it, in theory if you're attracted to guys enfemme then you should be attracted to them in male mode as well.
I would rack my brain trying to figure the whole thing out until I opened up and just tried to explore and understand my attraction to men.

As it turns out they're hot no matter what I'm wearing or how I'm feeling.
Try taking a look at some naked/half-naked guys in male mode and see how you feel.

That's not suggesting that you run out and grab a ton of gay porn, since that's not a really good measure.
For example, I like guys but not two guys.

The key is to check your level of physical attraction while keeping sex mostly out of the picture.
Good luck in figuring it out!

:)

[Diane Maple]

Yea what they said. Crossdressing doesn't make you gay or bi. There are some good youtube and articles on the web about this. It sounds like some crossdressers have gender confusion at times.

Like others noted. When you are not crossdressing.... Be honest with youself, what do you like. What do you desire? What turns you on?

[clairex]

im open and relaxed and go with flow... i think that when dressing it is more possible than when not but even having experimented, i am generally straight

[Layla Michelle]

Im not interested in guys at all. At least not in general terms. I can appreciate the various good looking ones but very picky about what looks I would ever like. Smooth shaved, no body hair, no fat or flab. Only in femme, transformed into a total woman, could I even pretend to be interested in a guy's advance.

[Erica2Sweet]

...The thing about being bi or gay is that the crossdressing shouldn't change it, in theory if you're attracted to guys enfemme then you should be attracted to them in male mode as well. I would rack my brain trying to figure the whole thing out until I opened up and just tried to explore and understand my attraction to men...

...The key is to check your level of physical attraction while keeping sex mostly out of the picture. Good luck in figuring it out!...:)

That's pretty much it in a nutshell. It's often thought that when in femme mode, our tastes in who we are attracted to miraculously change, and that's not really true. After all, your two sides share one body and one mind.

Crossdressing does, for some, set the stage for more unfettered personal introspection, and there's how you'll find what really piques your interests, as opposed to the limitations you allow society to place on you in your everyday mode.

Limiting yourself to femme mode when you begin to open up to the idea of interacting with a male can feel a bit more comfortable and seemingly natural, in terms of what your imagination manifests, as opposed to what your mind might conjure if you were imagining you were in boy mode and interacting with another male. Many reject the latter outright because those mental images of you (as a male) interacting with another male challenge the male ego in a very big way. It's often a facade designed to hide reality and keep us feeling safe and secure, like only a facade can.

[Megan Briana]

I have had similar thoughts, but for me I think I am more curious about the physical act of sex while in girl mode. Absolutely nothing physically attracts me to a man while dressed or not.

This seems to be where I am at also. I have always been curious of what, how, and why a woman feels during intercourse. I find myself wanting to enjoy the way that a GG would enjoy, but I know for me this is just daydreaming. My mindset alone tells me I am born man. For this simple fact I don't think I could truly enjoy being a genetically-correct woman. My head would have to be reprogrammed to know that I was never a male, otherwise my perspective is still coming from a male's POV. This seems to me, to defeat the whole thing. BUT, I would love dearly to spend sometime as a woman to be able to enjoy a man if only for the experience.

[Beverley Sims]

Only talking to other girls and the conversation got a little risque, they forgot what I was.
Talk about blending in. I even added to the conversation, you had to be there to hear it though. :)

[Kimberlyfaye]

I have had similar thoughts, but for me I think I am more curious about the physical act of sex while in girl mode. Absolutely nothing physically attracts me to a man while dressed or not.

I would pretty much agree with this. Like 99%

Not remotely attracted to men but the idea of being the woman in a relationship attracts me. I'm a lesbian in a male body and happy like it :)

[sterling12]

I know your new, but try to refrain from saying "JUST a CD." That kind of language is often used in a pejorative manner by SOME People within The Community. It implies some sort of diminished status, or Put-Down, or it's often used to push The Idea that CD's are not "genuine....like us." It causes divisiveness and sometimes hurt feelings. I know you didn't do it on purpose, but I thought I would let you know, and perhaps remind other new members to do the same.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[kellycan27]

I know your new, but try to refrain from saying "JUST a CD." That kind of language is often used in a pejorative manner by SOME People within The Community. It implies some sort of diminished status, or Put-Down, or it's often used to push The Idea that CD's are not "genuine....like us." It causes divisiveness and sometimes hurt feelings. I know you didn't do it on purpose, but I thought I would let you know, and perhaps remind other new members to do the same.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Kind of a sad state of affairs that we have to watch our P's and Q's to this extent when we're speaking to each other in our own house.... People would be much happier if they didn't take offence at every little word.... Just saying

[ChelseaErtel]

I'm not attracted to men. If I was a woman, I'd be a lesbian. But, if your do fantasize about men when en femme, be sure that if you do begin a relationship that honest is best. Not every situation works well with little (or big) surprises.

Good luck. Talk about it, find friends to discuss it, or find a support group in your area. You'll be able to talk about those feelings and you won't feel so alone.

Chelsea

[roy m]

If it turns out to be the best sex you ever had, I reckon that should answer the question, keep on being safe out there, roy.

[Erica2Sweet]

I know your new, but try to refrain from saying "JUST a CD." That kind of language is often used in a pejorative manner by SOME People within The Community. It implies some sort of diminished status, or Put-Down, or it's often used to push The Idea that CD's are not "genuine....like us." It causes divisiveness and sometimes hurt feelings. I know you didn't do it on purpose, but I thought I would let you know, and perhaps remind other new members to do the same.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Figuring out whether or not we should be offended is all part of the fun...

Personally, I have no interest in trying to limit what people say (or type) in the name of political correctness. That's a form of blanket censorship that does not take into account intent, and it's bad. These are but mere words on a screen. I am capable of defending myself if need be.

[Thera Home]

So until this point I was happy being just a crossdresser. But for a while now when I am in 'girl' mode I have started fantasizing about guys.

I wonder why this is? I wonder if it affects more single folks than already married and established folks. As for me, just the thought of man flesh next to mine for sexual purposes just totally gives me the yuks. That would be (to me) like trying to french kiss my brother or something:puke:
I just enjoy the euphoria I recieve from it and thats about as far as it goes for me. If I was single I would be a lesbian semi kinda man ***** I guess:D

Thera

[sinderella]

I've always considered myself as a "straight CD" but one night as I was leaving a club a handsome man started paying me some attention and we started talking, he was smooth in his actions and mannerisms. Telling me how sexy I was, I could see his nostrils flare, his desire ignited in me...we kissed and my goodness...I've never felt that before. But that's as far as it went (kissing and light petting)...I've fantasized about what could have been on numerous occasions. I love women and try to emulate my dress in what I like to see a woman wearing. But if given another opportunity... I just may be swayed. Maybe it was the attention he showed me, I'm not sure really. I know it wasn't alcohol, I don't drink when I'm tasked with driving... but he sure had me high.

[ArleneRaquel]

sinderella,
A most interesting post & experience. Thanks for sharing darlin.

[HollyH]

I know what you mean sinderella. Once, I was out dancing and I started flirting with this really cute guy, and we started dancing. When he grabbed my hand and spun me, oh my, I was in heaven.

[ArleneRaquel]

HollyH,
By your avatar that a gentlemen would be attracted, you are lovely.

[sinderella]

HollyH,
By your avatar that a gentlemen would be attracted, you are lovely. I agree Arlene, she is absolutely adorable ;)

[HollyH]

Aw, thank you both. I appreciate the kind words.

[Kate Simmons]

One thing I'll never understand is why someone's attraction to someone else is limited by what they are wearing. Feeling are feelings in my book.:)

[Tracii G]

Such a wide spectrum in CDing nothing is too far fetched sometimes.
If you feel attracted to men then so be it.
There have only been a few men I found attractive enough to go out with but would never have asked them or made the first move.
I did meet one guy when I was in drab that I actually though I could have a relationship with.No sex involved that is too dagerous IMO.
I was very confused at that time trying to sort thru my own gender issues and he felt I wasn't gay enough for him.
With some long talks with my inner self I came to the realization I'm not gay just dual gendered I found women very attractive and still do.

[Trishasubcd]

This is a deep topic and one that is near and dear to my heart. Like some of you when dressed I have fantasies about going down on a man, this has been a persistant throughout my life. One day I decided to act on it, when I was 23 (or so, a little foggy), I met a man that I had been talking too for a while but I did not enjoy it at all and was disgusted with myself. Fast forward 10 years (a good 10 years of dressing) and the desires were stronger than ever. At this point I had a close CD friend who I spoke to about it and the next thing you know we setup a date. I enjoyed it this time around and have thought of it often....but for one reason or another (safety) I have not gone down that road for the last 7 years. I am bisexual but not very active and the deisre only comes out when I am dressed up.

[Mistybtm]

I have been A bi crossdresser my whole life and have recently started HRT.

[Frédérique]

So until this point I was happy being just a crossdresser. But for a while now when I am in 'girl' mode I have started fantasizing about guys.. I guess as a part of what I naturally feel as a girl.. I am not sure if I like guys as a guy. I understand that it is a grey area but has anybody gone through such a phase?

Oh, goodee – another “Bi while crossdressed” thread! :clap: I think I only fantasize about guys if they crossdress...

There’s no doubt that MtF crossdressing has altered my sexual approach to the world, but perhaps bisexual-ness was always in place, and it created the correct “atmosphere” for my eventual crossdressing. I remember when I was young, and I went through such a phase, but then I went through another phase, and another, and another. These days I look back and think about the paths I took, or the choices I made, and wonder about what might have been. But, it’s too late now. I don’t fantasize about “guys” when I crossdress – I’m too busy avoiding them, or avoiding the guy I am. However, once upon a time…
:sad:

[karusiskaru]

I know your new, but try to refrain from saying "JUST a CD." That kind of language is often used in a pejorative manner by SOME People within The Community. It implies some sort of diminished status, or Put-Down, or it's often used to push The Idea that CD's are not "genuine....like us." It causes divisiveness and sometimes hurt feelings. I know you didn't do it on purpose, but I thought I would let you know, and perhaps remind other new members to do the same.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Oh of course I never meant to be pejorative.. I am a crossdresser and think very highly of us as a group.. but thanks for pointing it out.. It should have been "in addition to being a cd"..

[Mythic]

I've found myself physically attracted to a few guys, usually ones i would describe as pretty. But it's so damn rare of me really.

[Meghan]

I think I am always bi, in the sense that I find men interesting even if sometimes only sexually. It's also possible that by dressing, I am actively seeing their attention. It's so hard to know.

Generally, I am way more interested in knowing what a girl thinks about how I look, but I don't necessarily feel like I am dressing to attract other women in any sort of sexual way.

However, I find men who "dress" very attractive, on average, way more so than any "regular" guy. I have always been drawn toward contrast.

Meghan

[ArleneRaquel]

Meghan,
Outstanding contribution to the thread hon.

[Tara D. Rose]

yes Meghan, that is a very insightful way to put it. ...kudos GF,

[cd_brooke29]

I guess I'm just Bi...I really do enjoy both. What's weird though is that I don't look at guys and think, "Damn, he's hot". I do think that way about most every pretty girl I see on the street though. And I find far fewer men than women physically attractive.

I think for me the attraction to guys comes from the same part of me that wants to CD. It's basically another way to be like a GG. I do get turned on by the fact that I'm experiencing sex the same way a GG does. I guess it goes without saying then that I prefer the submissive role when with another guy. But even though I think my bi-ness and cding are related, I don't need to be dressed to enjoy the touch of another man.

[MuzzledJ]

I have to say that this thread has helped me to understand a little more about myself. I can relate to some of whats been said. It is bizarre to think that dressing can change your sexual feelings but i think for me it just enhances whats already there deep down, Im still trying to understand. I will never look at a man down the street, im always checking out the ladies.

[EllenJo]

I am always 100% straight except when I'm not. Truthfully, I was never attracted to men until my late 40's and then only on a rare occasion. However those occasions were very satisfying and I was the submissive in those situations. I have often wondered if age has something to do with it, lower testosterone, at least in my case. After I met my current wife I did not feel the same attraction to men again but do sometimes fantasize when dressed. Now touching 60, I focus more on my dressing than on sex. I would like to hear from older CD's on this subject.

[Ressie]

I've taken crossdressing to another level during the last few years and have fantasized about men more during that time. But I think the whole latent thought goes way back to adolescence or maybe even childhood. As much as I love women, there's something about being attractive to men that is exciting. Have to wonder sometimes if I were a female in a previous life, or if the whole thing is more connected to having the influence of an older sister. Am I rambling?

[Michaela51]

My bisexuality emerged about ten years ago, my desire to dress shortly thereafter, I am currently 61. My theory of 'why now" states that during earlier years of marriage and children there arises an imperative supported by our larger culture that makes it very easy to fall into a typical male role as provider and man in a hetero marriage/relationship, especially if you've come from a family with a Hispanic father, where having a little boy who is a "sissy" is a major personal and cultural affront,. There may have been signs along the way which pointed to another proclivities, but the need for me to fulfill my duties as a husband and father minimized those signs. Time marches on and the kids grow, family dynamics change so that the need for that traditional male becomes less important within the family structure. Also, as we age as men our testosterone levels begin to drop off, for me probably around 50, changing the ratio between that androgen and progesterone and estrogen; therefore, having an impact on how we view our priorities, desires, emotions, and behavior in general. This combined shift of familial and hormonal values allows for those parts of us which had previously been repressed or masked in some way to rise to the surface. And voila!...these nylon panties sure feel good against my skin, or fantasies and dreams arise that include men in a sexual context. That is the explanation that I have pieced together after having seen so many men opening up to bisexuality or gender shifts later in their lives.

[StarrOfDelite]

My bisexuality emerged about ten years ago, my desire to dress shortly thereafter, I am currently 61. My theory of 'why now" states that during earlier years of marriage and children there arises an imperative supported by our larger culture that makes it very easy to fall into a typical male role as provider and man in a hetero marriage/relationship, especially if you've come from a family with a Hispanic father, where having a little boy who is a "sissy" is a major personal and cultural affront,. There may have been signs along the way which pointed to another proclivities, but the need for me to fulfill my duties as a husband and father minimized those signs. Time marches on and the kids grow, family dynamics change so that the need for that traditional male becomes less important within the family structure. Also, as we age as men our testosterone levels begin to drop off, for me probably around 50, changing the ratio between that androgen and progesterone and estrogen; therefore, having an impact on how we view our priorities, desires, emotions, and behavior in general. This combined shift of familial and hormonal values allows for those parts of us which had previously been repressed or masked in some way to rise to the surface. And voila!...these nylon panties sure feel good against my skin, or fantasies and dreams arise that include men in a sexual context. That is the explanation that I have pieced together after having seen so many men opening up to bisexuality or gender shifts later in their lives.

Thanks for an insightful analysis. I would add that the internet has had a huge impact on individuals who always sensed that they were different, but due to cultural, familial, and economic pressures, never had a chance to analyze those feelings, let alone act on them. Because of G-Rated forums like this, G and R-Rated photo galleries of real-life crossdressers, and even the pornography industry, it has become far easier for transgendered males to arrive at clarity and self-realization about both their need to cross dress, and their sexual orientation.

[Thera Home]

My bisexuality emerged about ten years ago, my desire to dress shortly thereafter, I am currently 61. My theory of 'why now" states that during earlier years of marriage and children there arises an imperative supported by our larger culture that makes it very easy to fall into a typical male role as provider and man in a hetero marriage/relationship, especially if you've come from a family with a Hispanic father, where having a little boy who is a "sissy" is a major personal and cultural affront

.......................:thinking:



Thanks for an insightful analysis. I would add that the internet has had a huge impact on individuals who always sensed that they were different, but due to cultural, familial, and economic pressures, never had a chance to analyze those feelings, let alone act on them.


.......................:thinking:


I wonder that it's times like these is when our moral values kick in and guide us through the mud.
I know,I know..................there's that freak Thera again on her soapbox

:sb:

:p

:heehee:

Thera

[Meghan]

Time marches on and the kids grow, family dynamics change so that the need for that traditional male becomes less important within the family structure. Also, as we age as men our testosterone levels begin to drop off, for me probably around 50, changing the ratio between that androgen and progesterone and estrogen; therefore, having an impact on how we view our priorities, desires, emotions, and behavior in general. This combined shift of familial and hormonal values allows for those parts of us which had previously been repressed or masked in some way to rise to the surface. And voila!...these nylon panties sure feel good against my skin, or fantasies and dreams arise that include men in a sexual context. That is the explanation that I have pieced together after having seen so many men opening up to bisexuality or gender shifts later in their lives.

Very interesting observations, especially regarding the shift in hormone balance and the diminishing need for a strong traditional male role in the core family.

One of my kids is an adult and the other is getting close, so the "need" for me to be a strong paternal presence is diminishing. I started young (my first son was born when I was 22) so perhaps that is running its course a little faster for me.

Thank you for that perspective, I had not previously thought about it that way :)

Meghan

[Badtranny]

.I wonder that it's times like these is when our moral values kick in and guide us through the mud.
I know,I know..................there's that freak Thera again on her soapbox

Okay I can't help it, I have to ask.

What do "morals" have to do with sexual orientation? I don't lie, cheat, steal, drink too much, do drugs, or any number of things that would be considered "immoral" choices but I've always been queer as a bumblebee and now I'm a fully fledged transsexual. Am I immoral as well?

[flatlander_48]

I knew I was bisexual long before I thought about crossdressing. I probably would view it as a pleasant coincidence. However, I have not been intimate with a man since I crossdressed; only before.

[Thera Home]

Okay I can't help it, I have to ask.

What do "morals" have to do with sexual orientation? I don't lie, cheat, steal, drink too much, do drugs, or any number of things that would be considered "immoral" choices but I've always been queer as a bumblebee and now I'm a fully fledged transsexual. Am I immoral as well?

You tell me, are you? I didn't create you so I don't have the right to answer that or judge you. To me youre a person that deserves respect and honor just like me and everyone else here.:D

Question is........Do we give ourselves the same respect and honor we demand from others?

Thera

[Lacey England]

Started doing this myself, only in the past year or so. After 30 years of CDing.

[MissTee]

When I'm not dressed, I look at my wife and think she's hot. When I'm dressed, I look at my wife and think she's r-e-a-l-l-y hot. No doubt I'm a lesbian when dressed.

[cathie pantyhose]

Short answer is yes...both. I am bisexual who just happens to be a cd. I love my wife and our sex life but I also love the being with a man. Dressed as a man or dressed as a woman. Sex is just great.

[OKPink]

Either-Or? Sometimes it is hard to fit in a box. I am not really attracted to men, I find them a bit scary, but I do like sex with men who I feel safe with. I am married to a woman. I have had sex with a few men, and a few TS. I like being dressed no matter who I am having sex with, and perhaps feel most comfortable with other crossdressers or TS. That being said, I love a GG too. So maybe I like my cake and want to eat it too. Does that make me bi? Gay? A man who has sex with men? I'm not really worried about the label, as long as I am enjoying it, they are enjoying it and all are over 21, sober and consenting.

[Lucy Long Legs]

I have always been straight and never considered I was anything else. Recently while dressed I had an encounter with a guy which was enjoyable but mainly because he was very masculine and well built while I am the reverse. We both enjoyed comparing the contrasting nature of our genders: he was in t shirt and jeans while I had a pretty dress and heels. He had muscley arms and a bull neck while I am slender and delicate. The difference down below was even more remarkable and I gained a certain frisson from this. But it was a curiosity rather than a change of sexuality - I have no great wish to repeat this experience and am much happier with women.

[Desiree2bababe]

Yes, I fought the reality I loved pleasing men at first but eventually succumbed to the desire. I still haven't been with a man as a man and am not sure I would. I do know that now, years later, I find what a man has turns me on greater than the thought of being with a woman.

[flatlander_48]

Sexual orientation is much more than just who we choose to sleep with. Other factors come into play, such as how we think of ourselves, how we align ourselves politically, the non-sexual relationships that we have and just our perspective on how we view the world. When I finally got around to having sex with men (at 49, now 63), I thought that I was gay. That went on for several years until I got involved with a woman who eventually became my second wife. What I came to understand was that I had lost none of my attraction to, and appreciation of, women. That was sort of a revelation for me. While I still held the same political sensibilities regarding the LGBT community, I began to look at sexuality in a much more inclusive way and without restrictions.

Also, many years ago, I told an acquaintance that I thought I was bisexual. She said "Oh, that means that it is possible for you to have a loving and intimate relationshop with any other consenting person on this earth.". That sort of put me in shock for a while, but eventually I came to believe that she was right.

[CONSUELO]

When I first began to cross dress I was very young, maybe about five or six. I never considered myself interested in other boys but I do remember some brief early fumblings but they never influenced my strong interest in girls and women. Much later in life I did get involved in a bi- relationship with a couple, one of whom was a CD er. Even later I found that when I am dressed and behaving as a woman I am interested in relationships with a man. It was a journey but one which has constantly surprised me. Were hormonal changes involved? Was I always a closeted bi-sexual that finally opened the door. The strange thing is that in my teens and twenties I loved women and loved being with them and never had one iota of interest in men other than as friends or colleagues.

[rita63]

[QUOTE=flatlander_48;2987973] "Oh, that means that it is possible for you to have a loving and intimate relationshop with any other consenting person on this earth.".

Exactly what I have knowen all my life and this is the first time I have seen it put so well.

Thank you
hugs rita

Ps for a flatlander you have quite a sever cantilever under your shirt.

[flatlander_48]

[QUOTE=flatlander_48;2987973] "Oh, that means that it is possible for you to have a loving and intimate relationshop with any other consenting person on this earth.".

Exactly what I have knowen all my life and this is the first time I have seen it put so well.

Thank you
hugs rita

Thank You! I don't know where it originally came from, but I can definitely claim it.


Ps for a flatlander you have quite a sever cantilever under your shirt.

Back in the late 70's there was a short-lived sitcom called The San Pedro Bums. It was sort of an modern day version of The Bowery Boys. One of the notable lines from the show (and there weren't too many) concerned a REALLY stacked young womam. One of the guys was asked to describe her. The answer was:

She brings it with her when she comes,
And she takes it with her when she goes...

[Lucy Lou]

I am so glad that this topic has come up on here. I have never had sex with a man but have always wanted to. I would, of course, have to be dressed as i do feel very stimulated whilst dressed 'en femme'. One of the replies to this thread was made that someone will only look at the odd man in the street whereas they would look at every good looking woman. I fall into this category. The other important issue mentioned was that of the moral high ground. Society places pressures on us all which are largely based on out dated religious stoicism. Many believe that we a morally wrong to be as we are while condoning going to war rather than insisting on a peaceful solution based on tolerance and forgiveness.
To finish this point, I am bi and will one day fulfill that side of my life. The internet and sites like this are very helpful and make it possible to easily access information which might not be forthcoming from friends and family. I thank you all for the comments you have made and am please to have been a part of it. Lucy

[Tina B.]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN JUST A CD- I always figured that was enough of a problem in my life, If I where Bi, it would solve a lot of problems, I could be gay some days, and a lesbian on others! After all you are what you are, so you might as well make the best of it!