I just came out to my Pastor

[Anna Lorree]

A couple of hours ago I came out to my church Pastor. He was surprised, but very supportive. He was a pastor in the East Bay of California in the 1980's and 90's, and even claimed to have known and ministered to Harvey Milk's campaign finance minister. As such, he was very open to LGBT issues. He also claimed to have been one of the first ministers to have started outlaw communion for gays and lesbians, and has performed MANY marriages for homosexual couples.

I had a sense that he would be open, based on what I have heard in some sermons. He asked me intelligent questions, and encouraged me to start praying as a woman. He is going to talk to my wife soon, I think.

This was the first time I have ever told a man.

Anna

[ArleneRaquel]

Lovely story, we need more clergy who are supportive of LGBT issues. Hugs !

[LeaP]

Well done, Anna! And I admire your courage in yet another step.

It would be interesting to know his perspective on what he meant by praying as a woman. How did you take this?

[girlyboy13]

Good for you congrats

[Anna Lorree]

Well done, Anna! And I admire your courage in yet another step.

It would be interesting to know his perspective on what he meant by praying as a woman. How did you take this?

He encouraged me to first envision God in the feminine, and gave me to advice as to what parts of the Bible were written in this manner. He then said that while I prayed I should envision both myself as feminine, and God as feminine as well. I take this to mean, basically take time to place myself in the proper state of mind before prayer, in order that I can drop all of my walls. Try to be completely open with God about who I am, in order to learn for myself about myself through reflection.

Anna

[Marleena]

Nice job Anna! That went well. Sounds like he invited you to worship in girl mode too. He sounds like a great guy.:)

[ArleneRaquel]

IMO Too many pastors are LGBT bashers, its great to know that there are more humane members of the clergy.

[Anna Lorree]

Nice job Anna! That went well. Sounds like he invited you to worship in girl mode too. He sounds like a great guy.:)

He did warn that the congregation is NOT ready for that yet. He said it was my choice, but told me that when he arrived there was about 1/3 of the congregation who warned him they would leave if he started preaching about LGBT issues. That said, he told me there would also be some who were very much okay with it. I assured him that I would have the decency to tell him before I just up and go to church in a skirt, which he appreciated. He knows this is a thorny issue for some people, as do I. This isn't a perfect world by any stretch. But, he isn't going to abandon me or my family because of this, and has offered his support. That means a lot, right now. I feel that because he is encouraging me to explore my faith as a woman, that he isn't just giving lip service. He does care about me, but he also cares about the larger congregation. He has a duty to the individual and to the whole.

Anna

[ArleneRaquel]

I've gone to Mass 15-20 times in the last 6 months,or so, no problems or bad looks so far. :)

[Marleena]

He did warn that the congregation is NOT ready for that yet. He said it was my choice, but told me that when he arrived there was about 1/3 of the congregation who warned him they would leave if he started preaching about LGBT issues. That said, he told me there would also be some who were very much okay with it. I assured him that I would have the decency to tell him before I just up and go to church in a skirt, which he appreciated. He knows this is a thorny issue for some people, as do I. This isn't a perfect world by any stretch. But, he isn't going to abandon me or my family because of this, and has offered his support. That means a lot, right now. I feel that because he is encouraging me to explore my faith as a woman, that he isn't just giving lip service. He does care about me, but he also cares about the larger congregation. He has a duty to the individual and to the whole.

Anna

Makes sense. You don't have to be in a dress to be you, it's inside already.:)

[Erina]

That makes you the first one I seen post about coming out today. The national coming out day :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day

[EnglishRose]

That makes you the first one I seen post about coming out today. The national coming out day :)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Coming_Out_Day

Yes it is. I came out to my boss a few hours ago myself. :)

[Brianna612]

Just be careful with church people. They can turn on you in a moment.

I was very active in my church, ushering, church committees, Sunday school teacher 6 years, conformation instructor. My X outed me to key people. I had a talk with the pastor and he was OK with it similar to you. He had talked about doing a sermon and have me do a informative talk when I was ready. I said that would be great. However things went south fast when word spread. I was no longer welcomed as a Sunday school teacher, was replaced as a conformation instructor and shunned from any church committees. The pastor gave up on the sermon idea because to many people would leave the church. Basically I was forced out for the good of the masses. You know the almighty dollar. This all happened within a period of two months.

Seams like your pastor understands the ramifications of coming out. Good Luck

[Anna Lorree]

Just be careful with church people. They can turn on you in a moment.

I was very active in my church, ushering, church committees, Sunday school teacher 6 years, conformation instructor. My X outed me to key people. I had a talk with the pastor and he was OK with it similar to you. He had talked about doing a sermon and have me do a informative talk when I was ready. I said that would be great. However things went south fast when word spread. I was no longer welcomed as a Sunday school teacher, was replaced as a conformation instructor and shunned from any church committees. The pastor gave up on the sermon idea because to many people would leave the church. Basically I was forced out for the good of the masses. You know the almighty dollar. This all happened within a period of two months.

Seams like your pastor understands the ramifications of coming out. Good Luck

Like you, I am on committees and do greeting and so on. Yes, I recognize that this could end badly, but on the other hand at least then it would be out in the open and I wouldn't need to hide. There are a couple of very LGBT friendly congregations locally, they are just more of a drive (like 45 minutes each way instead of 15 minutes). I will be out eventually, so I will pay a social price at one time or another. The question is when and how.

Anna

[morgan51]

I am permanently kicked out of a bible study I went to for 7 yeaars. I went dressed as myself and have no regrets or sorrow about doing so. Funny that #. I'm shunned by my religious sister and am not feeling too confident around any "christian" setting. I'm pretty much turned off by the whole bunch at this point. I may look for an accepting church or group but for the time being am just numb.

[Marleena]

I am permanently kicked out of a bible study I went to for 7 yeaars. I went dressed as myself and have no regrets or sorrow about doing so. Funny that # I'm shunned by my religous sister and am not feeling too confident around any "christian" setting. I'm pretty much turned off by the whole bunch at this point. I may look for an accepting church or group but for the time being am just numb.

That is sad but happens far too often. You would think they would embrace us since "he" is forgiving and teaches love. I can't say anymore because it's religion and I don't want the thread locked.