What's the motivation?

[Jenniferx]

Hi, I just thought I'd pose the question- what motivates you to dress?

For me it's changed so much over the years, it used to be such an overt sexual thing, it would drive me crazy, I needed it like a drug. Seriously I would crave it, my heart would race, I'd get shakey, moody. The real first time as an adult was all it took to be hooked again, I mean first time by buying my own clothes, make-up, wigs, shaving, I loved being a girl. Then as I got older, dressing just made me feel comfortable, I love being able to be dressed, I still crave it, but its more a peacefulness, I love the process as much as the result.
Jenn

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Jennifer, After 65yrs. of dressing it's just a normal part of me .

It just don't feel right being on this forun if I'm not dressed up.

[Leah Lynn]

For me it just feels right. I feel complete, whether it's an evening outfit and total makeup, or just leggings and a sweater, a little lipstick, it feels the same.

[NathalieX66]

I got tired of male clothes. ....too few "clothes options" in my palette of self expression.

[LaurenB]

If I only knew...really. Maybe some obscure behavior I learned when my mother and sister dressed me as a girl at 5 years old. Maybe some innate expression of myself. If I had a bra or panty for every time I've asked myself that I'd be ... well, swimming in bras. It's not just a fetish, although it was more so when I had more testosterone in my body. Maybe the positive feedback that comes from feeling totally free and alive when I am in female mode. Maybe the emotional and mental relief it provides. Maybe I just like looking like a chick. Maybe I am a chick with the wrong plumbing. Who knows?

[sonna]

I got tired of male clothes. ....too few "clothes options" in my palette of self expression.



that's the best reason let

[Ddannie]

Jennifer
I am somewhere between the needing it like a drug stage and comfortable stage you mentioned. Any thoughts on what results in the change. I was encouraged to hear my evolution in this is not unique. I don't think I enjoy it any less, I just enjoy it diffferently. ? Does that make sense?
Danielle

[Mythic]

I just don't limit my clothing to all male. No actual motivation. I just like wearing whatevr I want.

[UNDERDRESSER]

It used to be fetish....not as bad as yours.... these days? Still a bit of outright thrill, but mostly...comfort...in the fabrics and fit ( male underwear just sucks! ) and some of it is just...why can't i wear a skirt??!!!

[Michelle V]

Hi, I just thought I'd pose the question- what motivates you to dress?

For me it's changed so much over the years, it used to be such an overt sexual thing, it would drive me crazy, I needed it like a drug. Seriously I would crave it, my heart would race, I'd get shakey, moody. The real first time as an adult was all it took to be hooked again, I mean first time by buying my own clothes, make-up, wigs, shaving, I loved being a girl. Then as I got older, dressing just made me feel comfortable, I love being able to be dressed, I still crave it, but its more a peacefulness, I love the process as much as the result.
Jenn

It's like you are describing my life, I now get to share it with my SO, it has completely change how I accept my self knowing I am accepted by my spouse.

[ArleneRaquel]

My only motivation is to live my life as I see fit and do no harm to anyone else by doing so.

[Meghan]

I don't know. What motivates me to breathe? I don't think about breathing. It's just something that happens. Have you ever tried to not breathe? That's not something that's possible. I have never heard of anyone dying because they decided to hold their breath until they died.

I believe like breathing, there is some involuntary instinct keeping me on this path. I have every logical reason conceivable not to dress, but yet it's not something controllable. Beyond that, why do I have the need to participate and discuss this stuff with others? I not only have the need to dress, I have a similar need to share the experience with others like me.

I don't know why, it just is.

Meghan

[noeleena]

Hi,

Being a woman id say, or i could say being dressed by my Mom just after i was born in lovely cream dress's may have done it, & i still have the pic's,

...noeleena...

[ReineD]

it used to be such an overt sexual thing, it would drive me crazy, I needed it like a drug. Seriously I would crave it, my heart would race, I'd get shakey, moody.



Then as I got older, dressing just made me feel comfortable, I love being able to be dressed, I still crave it, but its more a peacefulness, I love the process as much as the result.

Some thoughts:

I once read a comparison made between the super "highs" that both men and women feel when they fall in love in a particularly intense way with each other (can't sleep, can't eat, can't concentrate on anything other than wanting to be with each other, intense fantasies about each other, etc) and the similar sexual euphoria that CDers experience when they are younger and they dress.

With couples, the sheer excitement abates after only a few years and as they reach middle age (or even before) the intensely sexual feelings abate as well, and their relationship takes on a more comfortable routine. They've bonded together and they are deeply devoted to each other like best friends, but their relationship is much calmer. I'm wondering if the same thing happens with a CDer's sexual relationship with himself dressed: the libido that was once so strong abates with normal aging, and what is left is a deep bond to the femme self that results in the same type of comfortable feeling ... in much the same way that intensely sexual relationships between couples function to bond them for life (barring marital difficulties).

To the transsexuals (or TS questioning folks) who may be reading this, I wonder if the sexual feelings when you first began to dress were as strong as many CDers describe, and if anyone knows how to describe the difference between a TS who expresses an innate sexuality, and a CDer who reacts to the CDing the way it is described in this thread.

Hope you don't mind that I'm asking this question in your thread Jenn, but it ties into a few other threads that I've participated in recently. :)

[Cheryl T]

My motivation is the need to express the feminine part of ME.

[Jenniferpl]

That inner voice that refuses to go away. Other than that no real reason comes to mind.

[Kate Simmons]

It depends. The motivations for CDing are different for different people. Not everyone's motivation can be summed up in a neat little box.:)

[Angela Campbell]

Reine, I can answer part of your question as it relates to myself. I am a TS. Not going to go the transition due to family reasons, but still feel as if I should have always been a girl since my earliest memories. I started craving the clothing and other things about being a girl as young as 4 or so...maybe younger. It was not sexual at all until puberty when it got exciting, although during that time almost anything was exciting. In my 20's the sexual exitement was much less but my desire to wear the clothes was not. It did waine a bit as I had children and more and more responsibility and I guess other things just took over my life. I would go years without wearing a single peice of womens attire but not even a day went by I didn't wish to be female. After my first marriage ended I fell in love with a woman who was very open to my desires and I would wear womens underwear when in the bedroom only but at that point had never dressed fully with outer clothes and makeup. The adventures we had were very sexual and did include the underwear. That relationship ended and I did not dress again for quite a while. I again married someone else and she never knew. After that divorce It kind of exploded for me. I dressed fully for the first time and everything changed. Now it was for the complete look and motivation to pass. No sexual content at all. I have wondered a bit and think it may be because of my age I likely have a much lower level of testosterone. During puberty when the T was highest the sexual part was very intense and as I got older the T levels drop and the sexual part pretty much went away. In my teens and 20's wearing womens underwear had the same effect as seeing porn would. It was not the only sexual stimulai but it was one. It had the attraction of being forbidden I guess. I still had the desire to wear long hair, wear necklaces and bracelets and was always a little feminine almost all the time with no sexual connection at all. I guess the bottom line is for me, the sexual part was there but not intense, and now is gone.

[Tina B.]

Can't really say what my motivation was when I started dressing, that was 62 years ago, or longer. It wasn't sexual that's for sure, I was 6 or younger, and sex was not in the picture for years. In my teens sex was a part of it, but then at that age sex was a part of a lot of things. By my twenty's, sex was no longer a part of it, women where a lot more fun than helping myself. When I tried to quite dressing I learned the real motivation for it, my sanity! Not dressing drove me to strong drink, mild drugs, and pent up hostilities, I didn't like me that way, to I went shopping, and learned to live with myself, it was the only way I was ever going to be able to live with anyone else.
Tina B.

[Gillian Gigs]

At first it had a strong sexual influence with the pure enjoyment of being able to dress in clothes that felt so good. Over the years the shift has been towards the pure enjoyment of clothes that make me feel good inside. Today there is very little sexual influence with the motivation to feel comfortable and enjoy the clothes that make me feel good inside. I am just a guy that has this quirk of liking to wear certain types of clothes, which are mostly found in the womens wear section of the store.

[Beverley Sims]

My feelings parallel yours and the motivation is a calming effect these days.
I feel quite comfortable dressed.

[Ressie]

It's still sexual after all these decades. Once an incredible orgasm is achieved the clothing and makeup come off. I've only had one gf in my entire life that shared CD sex with me and that's ancient history.

[Thera Home]

Hi, I just thought I'd pose the question- what motivates you to dress?


I am not knowing :idontknow:


Thera

[Kelley]

My motivation is sanity. I spent my whole life building walls and barriers so no one would know I was different (closet dresser). Ever since my wife found my stash and I have come clean and she accepts me for myself dressing allows me to drop the walls and barriers. Putting on a skirt or my favorite pink nightie makes me feel like I am telling the world this me and I like being me. Putting on the drab cloths makes me feel the walls are back up and no one can know just how I feel inside.

[Jenniferx]

I think it makes perfect sense. I think it's hormone change LOL
Jennifer
I am somewhere between the needing it like a drug stage and comfortable stage you mentioned. Any thoughts on what results in the change. I was encouraged to hear my evolution in this is not unique. I don't think I enjoy it any less, I just enjoy it diffferently. ? Does that make sense?
Danielle

[Jenniferx]

It's still sexual after all these decades. Once an incredible orgasm is achieved the clothing and makeup come off. I've only had one gf in my entire life that shared CD sex with me and that's ancient history.

Hi Dee,
Well, I'm not sure if it will change for you like it has for me, obviously a big part of the tie in to dressing starts as a sexual thing when young, and it became for me like I had to go further and further with my dressing (not a bad thing but $$$) to even try to get the same sexual high I first experienced and I never could match those early experiences. I can remember just ruining an outfit in minutes-Ha Ha. But now I treasure the time spent shopping, getting ready, maybe just lounging all day in lingerie- its what I love now.
Love, Jenn

[ReineD]

Reine, I can answer part of your question as it relates to myself. I am a TS.

... it was not sexual at all until puberty when it got exciting, although during that time almost anything was exciting. In my 20's the sexual exitement was much less but my desire to wear the clothes was not.

... I would go years without wearing a single peice of womens attire but not even a day went by I didn't wish to be female.

Thanks for your response. And it is true that everything is sexual to a teenage boy whose libido is testosterone driven, whether she is TS or not.

[Brittany CD]

For me, I've just always felt like doing it. I love putting on women's garments and I love wearing wigs

[Eryn]

The way I explain it to non-CDers is to consider a world where chocolate is the focal point of society. People are always describing how wonderful their chocolate tastes. The aroma fills the air. Everyone displays their chocolate proudly and prominently. The media is filled with chocolate shows. The world revolves around chocolate.

There's only one problem: You are forbidden to eat chocolate. It's not an allergy, just an edict from above. You're expected to interact on a daily basis with chocolate eaters, compliment them on their chocolate, buy chocolate for them, etc. but not a taste for yourself!

Wouldn't you feel a bit odd in this situation? That's the way that CDers feel all the time as GGs go about their daily business around us.

[Jenniferx]

Some thoughts:

I once read a comparison made between the super "highs" that both men and women feel when they fall in love in a particularly intense way with each other (can't sleep, can't eat, can't concentrate on anything other than wanting to be with each other, intense fantasies about each other, etc) and the similar sexual euphoria that CDers experience when they are younger and they dress.

With couples, the sheer excitement abates after only a few years and as they reach middle age (or even before) the intensely sexual feelings abate as well, and their relationship takes on a more comfortable routine. They've bonded together and they are deeply devoted to each other like best friends, but their relationship is much calmer. I'm wondering if the same thing happens with a CDer's sexual relationship with himself dressed: the libido that was once so strong abates with normal aging, and what is left is a deep bond to the femme self that results in the same type of comfortable feeling ... in much the same way that intensely sexual relationships between couples function to bond them for life (barring marital difficulties).

To the transsexuals (or TS questioning folks) who may be reading this, I wonder if the sexual feelings when you first began to dress were as strong as many CDers describe, and if anyone knows how to describe the difference between a TS who expresses an innate sexuality, and a CDer who reacts to the CDing the way it is described in this thread.

Hope you don't mind that I'm asking this question in your thread Jenn, but it ties into a few other threads that I've participated in recently. :)

Hi Reine,
Gosh I don't mind this at all, I appreciate the insight, frankly I'd never considered this angle- comparing a couple's lovers high to a crossdresser's relationship to their alter ego. I'd say I was in love with the young girl in the mirror, but not in a way I've ever been in love with a partner. This sexual charge from dressing was weakening, sickening in some ways, but always the desire was to come back to it for more, but better than the last time. Love of a partner has never been this electric or needy- for me anyway. Sure it's narcisstic to say, I think the very act of CD-ing is, at least if you do it right, maybe this in part is what threatens or worries our girlfriends or wives, they can see the power these feelings have over us, blinds us in the pink fog, and they don't know how to relate to it. How could they relate, there is no other reference in our love lives that compares to our desires. Anyway, lucky for me I'm no longer crazy, just mellowed out.
Jenn

[ReineD]

I'd say I was in love with the young girl in the mirror, but not in a way I've ever been in love with a partner. This sexual charge from dressing was weakening, sickening in some ways, but always the desire was to come back to it for more, but better than the last time. Love of a partner has never been this electric or needy- for me anyway.

That's just it! The relationship with self will be different emotionally than a relationship with a wife, but the point is there is a purpose for all the endorphins in the beginning of any sexual relationship, and this is to form lasting bonds. In the case of couples, the lasting bonds are desirable to provide stability for the rearing of children, else everyone would just have sex, have fun, and then move on which in a primal sense would leave the wife and child unprotected.

It's just pure biology. I think that if someone is TS, they already have an innate feminine gender and their need to transition is sourced (I believe) from a different place than someone who has an intensely sexual beginning with all of this.

[Brianna612]

I think the sexual thing would happen no matter what, but yes in my teens it was sexual. In my 20s it was more of a fetish. Running around with wild makeup, short skirts, ripped fishnets, and sexy tops. I hung around with the queens and the gays even though I never was gay and never felt that way it was just the group that I ran with. 30s meant responsibilities, needed to settle down. Dressing had to stop and I needed to raise a family. I stopped dressing. I became very irritable, high strung, flew off the handle quickly and often. Late 30s couldn't handle it anymore had to dress. Right away a calming feeling came over me. Not sexual, not fetish but me.

I now dress because it is me and it was me all along. Why did it take me 40 years to figure that out? At least I figured it out and it feels great to be whole.