heel heels everywhere not good

[DeniseNJ]

Well the wife started drinking wine today around 12pm by 4pm she was loaded went thru 2 bottles, All day I worked outside cutting grass filling cracks in the driveway with filler bolting my new motor to the engine stand, blowing things off. I come in and shower , kinda tired from all the bending over. She told me to go to the casino in Phila she had slot $$$, so I shower, put on a little mascrea and shadow, grab my girl jeans and give her a nice hug and kiss and said I will see ya later. By this time it was 6pm. She was still awake but I thought she was ready for the sack, she had been up since 2am. Before going , I stop by the nail salon for a color change on my toes. I have a candy fushia color on. I go to the Sugerhouse and wear my sandles , tho this time I got a few stares but no comments. I come home @ 9:45 and she is still up and eatting chilie and wanted me to heat her up another bowl. She said get me a bottled water , because I didn't take the cap off POOP hit the fan. She went off and went to the Bed-room slammed the door and locked herself in. I am like WTF just happen I walk into the other bedroom and 6 single heels are thrown on the floor and my wig is laying across the couch. The other pair to the heels were in the closet along with my other girlie stuff. I left on good terms, I didn't come in the house wearing the sandles but my lofers . She must have did this earlier in the night what ever told her to do this was a _______ moment. So I sit here wondering what the morning will bring, it is not like I hide my stuff, it is everywhere right in closets on shelves and she knows. She must hate Denise. She knew about the pedicure I got the other day with color and I was walking around barefoot and she didn't care. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. This wine was 2 buck chuck from trader Joes well actually $4 buck charles shaw. Dam she was one angry bitch with all that wine in her wish me luck I am gonna need it tomorrow!!!

[StephanieJ]

So sorry about the drama. Sending hope and prayers. Try to get some rest tonight. Sounds like you are going to need it when she sobers up.

[GaleWarning]

How long have you been married?
Was your wife's drinking not a warning signal?

[Tara D. Rose]

All I can do is ...cough..cough...cough..

[heatherdress]

Sorry to read. Lack of sleep and 2 bottles of wine are not a good combination.

[DeniseNJ]

Sorry to read. Lack of sleep and 2 bottles of wine are not a good combination.
Add another bottle to the mix throw in a healthy dose of PMS she is broke but using her credit card like a drunken sailor Not looking for a PITTY PARTY HERE Just like Friday said The FACTS only the FACTS

[Cynthia Anne]

Pay backs are hell! Buy two bottles of wine and get DRUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Stephanie47]

Basically, too much alcohol has the tendency to bring out the worst in some people. Getting drunk during the day on several bottles of wine is a sign of alcoholism. I also think she has a problem accepting your cross dressing.

[rachel_rachel]

And the drinking to get back at her proves what ladies? I think Denise has said is quite enough, maybe wait for the affects of the wine to wear off and discuss things like adults.

[STACY B]

Love it,,,Make up a Lie an say she done all kinds of Crazy stuff an see what she says ,,LOL,,,, Black out drunk ,,,LOL,,,, Say DAM what the hell did the COPS want last night ? I just went to the Casino an when I got home they were just leaving an you told um something ? They said if they see ya back out or here of you going back outside Naked they are going to take you to Jail ! See what she says ,,LOL,,,

[Tina B.]

I think I would just lay low until the hangover passes, that could take a couple of days after that much wine, Then it sounds like time for a serious talk, someone is not happy!
Tina B.

[linda allen]

We're talking about a marriage here and (we hope) two people who love and respect each other. Several of the responses are clearly not serious advice (again, we hope). "Getting back" at a marriage partner will never turn out well.

The wife here seems to have a problem with alcohol unless this is an isolated incident. A loving husband will try to find a solution for the alcohol abuse problem. Counselling, AA, whatever works. Discussion of crossdressing can come later.

Denise, please don't look for your answer on a crossdressing forum. Find some real, live help in your area for the drinking problem. I wish you two the best.

[Paula T]

Your sense of humor is priceless. Meaning Stacy B

[Beverley Sims]

I agree with Linda here, too much to drink brings out pent up emotions.
I hope you are able to talk t over later on.

[rachael.davis]

umm, ignoring the drama, and the agression.

You probably need to sit down with her, and say do you have any idea who long you were drinking, and how much you had ? Whatever you have going on in your marriage is your business but this sounds like a serious substance abuse problem.

And I pity her the hangover from several bottles of cheap ass hootch.

[flatlander_48]

Sad. This sounds like a train wreck waiting to happen...

[2B Natasha]

Add another bottle to the mix throw in a healthy dose of PMS she is broke but using her credit card like a drunken sailor Not looking for a PITTY PARTY HERE Just like Friday said The FACTS only the FACTS

So let me get this straight.
Your married as you call her your wife
That makes the two of you a team
Then you go on to say. " she's broke and using her credit cards like a drunken sailor. Isn't it. If she's broke. Your broke too?
She had slot $$$ you say. Why does a broke person have slot $$$ and why are you taking them?
So your wife crawls into a bottle and you leave to change the color on your toes. REALLY?!
You wonder why she throws all your stuff out in the room. Could it be that you value that stuff more then? In your previous post you wax on about how you wish you born a women yadda yadda yadda.

Did it occur to you that your probable ignoring her? Or at least she thinks so. Why do you put so little value on her and your time?

I wish I had more time to type. I'm so confused by what you post. It's FRUSTRATING!

[JulieK1980]

Kind of curious of how you managed to go to a casino with "slot money" when she's broke.

Have you ever considered that she may have a drinking problem? The way you wrote your post sort of infers that she spent the entire day drinking from 2am on.

I don't know, but it also sounds like you have some serious communication issues in your marriage, and if I were in your shoes I'd probably start working on that instead of running off to the casino.

[BRANDYJ]

Your story is confusing as someone else pointed out. But if I understand this right. You say your wife is broke, yet has some casino dollars. I assume this means chips or something other then cash. You complain that she is broke??? This is your wife??? That to me means you are broke too. Yet you go get your nails done??? Kind of an extravagant expense if you and your wife are broke. Not to mention the expense to drive to a casino. And perhaps a drink or two and spend some extra money on gambling? She told you to go to the casino??? Doesn't sound like you protested to much. Sounds like she could have said that in a way t hope you'd stay home and spend time with her. And if she didn't sleep and drank as much as you say, there is no way I would have left her alone. With all this drama, you found it important to tell us what color polish you had on and that no one made comments about it, only stares? How is this important with what's going on between you and your wife? At this point I'd sure like to hear your wife's version of the night. I would guess it's very different from yours. She sounds like she is lonely and neglected and that she threw all the heels and the wig in frustration because you seem to care more about your CD lifestyle then you care about her. I feel sorry for her. Then you add: Add another bottle to the mix throw in a healthy dose of PMS she is broke but using her credit card like a drunken sailor Not looking for a PITTY PARTY HERE Just like Friday said The FACTS only the FACTS This does not seem like a marriage or even a partnership the way you say she's broke, but I guess you're not?
From what I read and the confusing way you wrote it, I sense some serious selfishness on your part. I'd say that what tomorrow brings is not good. Sounds like her drinking is out of frustration over your dressing and leaving her alone. So tomorrow might find you the one that's alone. No, you won't get any pity from me on this one. Your wife gets my pity. Sorry, but I sense her drinking is largely due to you and your neglect of her and making your girly time more important in your life then your wife is. Maybe you can make more sense and clear up the facts and I'd change my mind about how I read this sad story about your wife's coping with you and your dressing.
I have been guilty of some of what I'm seeing going on, so I speak from my hard lessons learned. You need to take a good hard long look in the mirror and see what might be the root problem. I just find it hard to put it all on your wife.

[Foxglove]

That makes the two of you a team
Then you go on to say. " she's broke and using her credit cards like a drunken sailor. Isn't it. If she's broke. Your broke too?



Kind of curious of how you managed to go to a casino with "slot money" when she's broke.



This does not seem like a marriage or even a partnership the way you say she's broke, but I guess you're not?


Some couples keep their money separate because the woman wants financial independence. Is that the case here?

[Jane G]

Sounds like your wife, is after a little time with you. If she was in at 2am is she working shifts?

I'm having trouble relating to you going out to the Casino and leaving her in to get drunk, after you hadn't seen much of her all day. The two of you need to sit down and talk about what's realy going on here.

[DeniseNJ]

Let me clear the AIR. when you gamble and loose alot of MONEY the Casinos know they have you HOOKED. So they send you rewards slot dollars like 50 to 100 dollars to use on a certain date. Not only does she have a drinking problem, and takes anti depresents she also had a serious Gambling problem 3 1/2 years agio I had to take out a $70,000 home equity loan to pay off her credit cards that most of the $ was @ 29% interest rate cause she took many 500 and $1000 cash advances and gambled that money away too. She was paying over $1500 a month on credits cards and that was the minium allowed payment most were @ $300 monthly . I since refinanced @ 3.75% and I am 1 1/2 years in on a 10 year fixed for $170,000 picture those numbers with taxes. I can not talk to her nor does she realize that using her credit card s bad I have a $22,500 limit on one of my cards and I owe like $120.00 on the balance. We have seperate accounts checking and savings and our credit scores are in the 830 range. she is so irresponsible and will not listen to reason DIVORCE you say I am so ready she is in self destruct mode . Yes I am an enabler I did but her a case of 2 buck chuck from trader Joes the other day , the same wine that made her go nuts. It is my F#$Ked up life and I have to deal with it . So when you think you have it so bad in life just think of me with a wife that you can not talk to not to mention reason with. I guess I am a glutten for punishment OH well just remember someone has it worse than you and someone has it worse than me!!! it's a wonder I have my sanity

[NathalieX66]

Glad I don't live in South Jersey (the southern end of NJ).....I'd be broke by now.
If you want a hug, well, here.:hugs:

Live, from the Garden State....where we love to waste money on booze & gambling.

[Christine Kelly]

Time to move on.
This girl is trouble.

[heatherdress]

Denise - seek professional help - for yourself. A good therapist is needed.

[JulieK1980]

Denise - seek professional help - for yourself. A good therapist is needed.

Exactly what I was thinking. I second that!

[DeniseNJ]

Denise - seek professional help - for yourself. A good therapist is needed.
did that twice and when the therapist started to question my wifes actions my wife pulled the plug and didn't want to go anymore

[DeniseNJ]

Glad I don't live in South Jersey (the southern end of NJ).....I'd be broke by now.
If you want a hug, well, here.:hugs:

Live, from the Garden State....where we love to waste money on booze & gambling.

Thanks Nathalie, that is waht I needed

[DeniseNJ]

this is the best theapy the wife isn't home and I am relaxing

[linda allen]

Denise, life is too short for all this drama. If you truly love your wife, you will get help for her somehow. If not, it's time to get out of the relationship. She is not making you happy and you are not making her happy.

[STACY B]

She pisses the money away an gets drunk an it's your fault ? Yep your fault ,,Cuz you dress like a girl ! What does dressing like a girl have to do with spending money an getting drunk ? Don't ask me I am just a DUMMY ,,, Just saying ,,, Think about it ,,You could be living the high life right now with all that extra money ? Some times Hind sites 20/20 ? Never to late to try again . The Obvious never needs Exsplaining !!

[Sarasometimes]

Good luck and keep an eye on that credit score (she can ruin that really quick). I would suggest Alynon(sp) for relatives of substance abusers if a 12 step is your way of thinking. I would keep the CD thing of her radar so you 2 can work on her health and well being and your sanity. Good luck!

[DeniseNJ]

Denise, life is too short for all this drama. If you truly love your wife, you will get help for her somehow. If not, it's time to get out of the relationship. She is not making you happy and you are not making her happy.

HOW TRUE THAT IS She needs a servant and I am good at that!!

[JulieK1980]

If you are as miserable as you claim, then move on. If you choose to remain, then stop martyring yourself. It will only feed both of your resentment. If you choose to stay, then suck it up and try to help her with her problems.

People like what you describe can be toxic, and they also have to want to be helped. If everything you say is accurate, then it may be time to consider moving on.

[kimdl93]

Honestly, Denise, something has to be done about this situation. Yes, she has some problems, but they are your problems too. Therapy is not optional here - make it clear that she has to participate, not for a few days but probably for a few years, and that if she refuses, then you will take definitive action. Otherwise, you'll both be dragged down. Do it. And soon.

[DeniseNJ]

If you are as miserable as you claim, then move on. If you choose to remain, then stop martyring yourself. It will only feed both of your resentment. If you choose to stay, then suck it up and try to help her with her problems.

People like what you describe can be toxic, and they also have to want to be helped. If everything you say is accurate, then it may be time to consider moving on.

You make ugly painful separations seem like a walk in the park. Move on you say !!! so the way you make it sound just packup when ever I caN FIT in in little hatch , quit my job yank out my measly 12G's out of my savings account and move on . IUf it was that simple and uncomplicated , I would have done it years ago. If it were up to her for me to move on, I must first be drug thru the mud, humiliated,forced to make irrational decessions, made to use all my assetts to pay for a lawyer who will empty every pocket out and that is just my lawyer HER lawyer will keep shaking out my pockets till all that I will have left a useless shell of a person with no purpose in life. TOXIC is a good word you use once exposed to a toxin and it gets in your system the damage can be irriversable

[suit]

ooohh oohhh ohhhhhhhh this is going to piss every one off

"man up" , "take control of the bitch" and make her straighten her ass out!

ok now who 's in control when she makes you "play " the man role . and she has " forced your hand"
by being " out of control "
she is .....controling.......be carfull, be smart and rememeber we are animals that have needs and expectations . aint life grand!

wine in no ones freind ! nor is beer ....ect. it seems to me our expectations are set at about 4 years old the rolls the situations the expectations blaaa!
damb few can escape that programing. and damb if we don't keep coming back to a 5 year old's view of how the world should be ! (F~ disiney)
the first thing we have to have/crave is posative knoledge of safty.......
if she is scared.............god help you , and I recogonize " no one is so blind as those that will not see"

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Denise, It sure seams like you've gotten yourself stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place.
Good luck with this one.
So here's another hug for you.

[calebsmithxd]

I will add another hug! You are a really understanding person. I highly doubt I could have put up with all that.

[linda allen]

You make ugly painful separations seem like a walk in the park. Move on you say !!! so the way you make it sound just packup when ever I caN FIT in in little hatch , quit my job yank out my measly 12G's out of my savings account and move on . IUf it was that simple and uncomplicated , I would have done it years ago. If it were up to her for me to move on, I must first be drug thru the mud, humiliated,forced to make irrational decessions, made to use all my assetts to pay for a lawyer who will empty every pocket out and that is just my lawyer HER lawyer will keep shaking out my pockets till all that I will have left a useless shell of a person with no purpose in life. TOXIC is a good word you use once exposed to a toxin and it gets in your system the damage can be irriversable

Denise, Most of the people here have been trying to help you, but as I read your latest post, I'm beginning to think you aren't looking for help, just pity.

It doesn't appear that you love your wife by the way you have described her. It appears more like you are "putting up" with her and her the same with you. If my wife had the problems you describe, I wouldn't be blabing it on the Internet, I would be doing everything I could to get help for her. I suspect at least some of her "problems" are the result of the relationship and her way of dealing with you.

Your rants on your financial situation are just an excuse and your rants on lawyers are uncalled for.

I will say it one more time and be done with it:

You are in a bad situation. Fix it or get out of it, no matter what the cost. Neither of you is happy the way things are. What's the point in living the one life you have been given in misery? You won't get a gold medal when you die, you'll just be dead. And you will have been miserable your entire life. All for nothing.

Before you respond, think about what I have posted. Read it several times.

[JulieK1980]

Denise, Most of the people here have been trying to help you, but as I read your latest post, I'm beginning to think you aren't looking for help, just pity.

It doesn't appear that you love your wife by the way you have described her. It appears more like you are "putting up" with her and her the same with you. If my wife had the problems you describe, I wouldn't be blabing it on the Internet, I would be doing everything I could to get help for her. I suspect at least some of her "problems" are the result of the relationship and her way of dealing with you.

Your rants on your financial situation are just an excuse and your rants on lawyers are uncalled for.

I will say it one more time and be done with it:

You are in a bad situation. Fix it or get out of it, no matter what the cost. Neither of you is happy the way things are. What's the point in living the one life you have been given in misery? You won't get a gold medal when you die, you'll just be dead. And you will have been miserable your entire life. All for nothing.

Before you respond, think about what I have posted. Read it several times.

My sentiments exactly.

Nobody said it would be easy, but having a pity party will not make your problems any better for you.

[DeniseNJ]

Moderators PLEASE close this thread Were the Jews looking for a pitty party when the NAZI's gassed them ??? They were just trying to explain their situation And Lind Aallen I was not asking for pitty nor do I want it from anyone , those that offered a HUG thanks that nemt alot. Poor Denise No I sometime vent on this form how har it is being a crossdresser with a wife that you can't reason with . Hey if she can't handle living with a crossdresser why doesn't she leave me. AND salt man up you say so I beat the crap out of her and tell her (Even tho I wear heels at times I am no sissy girl I am the man in this relationship . Great advise just beat sence into this Bayatch. I can not talk or reason with her. It is not like she don't know about Denise she has known it for 23 years I tell her all the time (IF YOU WANT A REAL MAN GO FIND ONE AND LEAVE THIS SISSY QUEER ALONE<> I WON"T CRY). does she NO she needs me Yes I live in misery but I rather live like this than be a Quadapledic bound to a wheel chair. There are girls out there that get beat up by their man all the time and they don't leave till they had enough. Maybe I didn't have enough yet, ever think of that Those that post that they have been OUTTED , you don't hear me say Hey you looking for a pitty party. Some of you girls are great people and some are JUST MEAN sad just sad!!!

[JulieK1980]

Were the Jews looking for a pitty party when the NAZI's gassed them ??? They were just trying to explain their situation !

Wow! You just compared your problems to the holocaust? Now THAT is sad.

[Tara D. Rose]

Denese, I hope things get better for you. Take it a day at a time.