Fear of being "seen" regardless of degree

[sweetgal]

I'm completely fearful of my neighbors seeing me in anything not "normal". I worry about them saying things and gossiping about me. I'm also fearful of seeing people I work with around where I live in a dense area in the city. I have no idea how to overcome. I don't know how so many of you can transcend beyond the fear....

[Amy A]

I know what you mean... it feels like the world might end if people find out about you. The thing is though, some people have the confidence to just go out there and say 'this is me, if you don't like it I honestly don't care'. I wish I had that confidence, but it's never going to happen! :)

Truth is your neighbours probably take very little notice. I wouldn't be able to tell you what most of my neighbours look like, only the immediate ones.

Welcome to the forum, BTW!

[Eryn]

I'm pretty much the opposite. While I don't want my neighbors to recognize me while dressed, I really don't care if they don't see me as "normal". I interact with them very little!

[GeminaRenee]

If you're worried about being seen by someone you know while out and about, ask yourself this: How often do I see people I know on a daily basis?

For me, the answer was about zilch, and I live in a fairly bustling suburban area. That made it a lot easier to step out the door in some form of gender disregard.



Truth is your neighbours probably take very little notice. I wouldn't be able to tell you what most of my neighbours look like, only the immediate ones.


I'd imagine this depends on the neighborhood, of course. I live in a group of townhomes with lots of older, boring whitebread kind of people who alternate between watching TV and looking out their windows all day long. If I was careless, it wouldn't take long before everyone knew. Especially that intolerable little shrew who notices every little thing I do with my landscaping, and proceeds to ask a million questions about it.

When I go out and about, therefore, I get ready about 85% at home. Then I leave, and put the most obvious femme cues in place a bit down the road. Of course, this rarely arises, as I don't often go anywhere in full femme. More often than not, I just go out with subtle stuff, like girl jeans or some makeup. All I have to do then is avoid my neighbors, which is not terribly difficult since that's already Plan A for dealing with the shrew on the daily anyways.

I do wonder what the neighbors on each side make of the frequent click-clacking of my high heel practice, though.

[docrobbysherry]

I know EXACTLY how u feel, Sweet! I needed pics of Sherry taking mail out of our mailbox on the street. Within clear view of 3 condos a few feet away. Plus, at any moment someone could have driven by. And, they would see an odd looking woman in a mask stealing my mail! Ha ha!

[Sara Jessica]

Someday that fear should subside and if you are anything like me, you accept the fact that your family says "WTF", your friends are saying "WTF", your coworkers are saying "WTF", your neighbors are saying "WTF" and even complete strangers say "WTF". Trust me, you get used to it.

[Jenniferathome]

First thing to remember is that most people are so wrapped up in their lives that they don't see beyond their own noses. Second, when you are in girl mode, no one sees the male you. It is not an easy correlation for others to devine. Walk and move with confidence. You'll be fine.

[Kate Simmons]

The first time the neighbors saw me leaving en femme for a Renaissance meeting, I just waved at them and they waved back. As long as these folks don't sign my pay check, I couldn't give two hoots. It's not like we are at each other's house for dinner every night.:)

[Launa]

Just keep trying,
I've just started to go out in full girl mode and it gets easier each time. I have to watch "my attitude" because I would love to say WTF to the world more often than I do but my wife doesn't want to be outed so I have to respect that and watch my step. If it wasn't for my wife's wishes I would dress and do what I wanted to 100% of the time and say WTF to the neighbors, my coworkers and the people that need to point and laugh at me behind my back.

Also I had something happen to me today that helped me overcome some temporary fear I had when I was shopping earlier today. I'm going to post it on a new thread tonight..... Stay tuned!!! :)

[JamieQ]

First thing to remember is that most people are so wrapped up in their lives that they don't see beyond their own noses. Second, when you are in girl mode, no one sees the male you. It is not an easy correlation for others to devine. Walk and move with confidence. You'll be fine.

You could not have said it any better! I do not think any coworkers, neighbours (unless they see you leave the house), or aquaintences would even probably recognize you in girl mode. I have practically zero makeup skills (so I do not wear it much) but I still go out even in daytime, but I am not normally real close to people, just walking a sidewalk or park. I think most when they see me immediately think "girl/woman" and dismiss anything further. Just put one foot in front of the other and go...the fear will quickly subside.

[Tracii G]

My neighbors have seen me and have said nothing they just figured there was a GF over and she was sitting on the porch.
If people think they are seeing a woman they won't be thinking of you actually being that woman.
That kind of thinking is too far out of the normal box for most neighbors.
I have run into a neighbor several houses down from me at the multi house mail boxes and she said "Hi you are new to the neighbor hood aren't you?"
I said no been here 20 some years then she looked me over with a puzzled gaze and it took a while for her recognize me.
When she did it was OMG you look fabulous you sure fooled me ha ha.
If she told other neighbors I don't care but none have approached me asking questions.

[Angela Campbell]

I have no fear of being seen...I have a fear of people pointing at me and laughing...although that has never happened.

[NathalieX66]

I totally sympathize.
I can't tell you how many times I've gone out en femme, and had to drive into a quiet business park to do the Clark Kent/Superman routine in my car. It usually involved taking off my jeans, which I stuffed my dress into, and putting on my accessories, switching shoes, and applying lipstick or lip gloss in my car, then put on my wig. I usually left the house in full makeup but wearing guys sunglasses and a baggy shirt.

To make matters worse, the temperature was always above 80 F (25 C), and super humid, and in my car it would be much hotter, where sweat would be pouring down my face, which would ruin my makeup.

The fall/winter months are awesome because I can exit my front door when it's dark because the sun sets early.

Just preface all of this, my hair is shoulder length (...I gave up the wig finally) , I wear earrings, and my toenails are painted, which my neighbors have seen all of this, but I still haven't let them see me in a dress.

[Jorja]

Are you running around naked again Sweetgal? I told you that you would draw a crowd doing that! :)

What is "normal" anyhow? Maybe dressing as a woman is normal for you. Who are they to say it is not?

[Ddannie]

Sweet gal, I have the same reaction and after reading the other posts I am asking myself why I have respond with fear and others have wtf reactions. I am wondering if my fear reflects my insecurity with myself. I don't want to be rejected so I don't want to percieved as different since different is often ostracized. I am encouraged by the posts that say the fear can subside the more you get out. Good luck.
Danielle

[ReineD]

In societies where there is prejudice against any particular group, be it a certain race, or homosexuals, or crossdressers, or even women in some circumstances, it is common for members of the oppressed groups to take on the prejudice and internalize it, and engage in self-deprecation or self-hatred and fear of being further stigmatized. You can read about the various forms of it here:

Internalized racism (http://academic.udayton.edu/race/01race/latinos01.htm)
Internalized homophobia (http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/ihpitems.html)
Internalized transphobia
(http://tgmentalhealth.com/2011/03/25/internalized-trans-phobia/)
Internalized oppression (http://ctb.ku.edu/en/tablecontents/sub_section_main_1172.aspx)

How to heal from internalized oppression (taken from the middle of the page of the fourth link above):

How do you help people heal from and overcome internalized oppression?

There are several different ways that people can work together to overcome internalized oppression. Here are some steps you can take. They are first listed, and then elaborated upon one at a time.

1. Become a close friend, ally, or mentor to individuals who are struggling with internalized oppression.

2. Take pride in and celebrate culture. Learn about and celebrate your own culture, and learn about others as well. Placing your own culture in a world context can help you understand its development and value.

3. Meet in groups with people from similar backgrounds, to heal from the emotional hurts of internalized oppression.

4. Take action against injustice and oppression. Taking positive action on your own behalf is the most powerful cure for internalized, as well as external, discrimination and oppression.

5. When you notice internalized oppression operating in groups, point it out, and help the group change direction.

6. Protect young people from the effects of oppression.

A first-step practical approach for you, would be to join a TG support group even if you attend in guy mode the first few times. You can explain your fears and they will understand. Also, many of the groups have changing rooms available for people who, like you, are overcoming their fears and are not yet ready to go out dressed.

[Cynthia Anne]

I just tell them that this is my piece of dirt and if you don't like the way I'm livin' you just leave this long haird country girl alone! Works for me!

[Vickie_CDTV]

If you cannot risk being seen dressed in your area, you could always go out of town sometime and go out dressed to a support group or trans event.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I am not completely free of the fear of being seen. However, it has been greatly reduced after I told my GF. ( we were not GF/BF at the time, but have since ) Now she knows, and is OK with it ( Understatement! ) It matters a lot less to me that others may know. SHE knows who I am attracted to, that's what matters to me. :)

[Beverley Sims]

If you can get out with friends it all becomes easier.
Try finding a support group and you will change your life and outlook.

[Barbara Ella]

There are legitimate reasons why some do not want their neighbors seeing them enfemme and realizing they are a crossdresser. It is not because we are not normal. Do not be afraid to go out, just go out somewhere else. With time, and as your situation changes, you might not have as much fear of simply going out. When you lose the fear of just going out dressed, you may realize that the neighbors may not be all that big of a deal afterall, and as some here have said, they may surprise you.

Barbara

[docrobbysherry]

I have no fear of being seen...I have a fear of people pointing at me and laughing...although that has never happened.
U left out the pointing and, "OMG! That's a guy", comments, Lady! Happens to me every time I go out alone. They don't do that if I'm in a CD pack. Maybe they fear for their lives!?

Oddly, it DOESN'T happen to Sherry. I think most folks that see here r in shock!

[AllieSF]

I am out to the world, but not to my family, friends, ex work mates and neighbors. They do not need to know and my finishing up on the road is not that big of an inconvenience. So, I totally understand your situation. Sometimes you just need to make compromises and that is pretty typical in life. No big deal to me.

[Joanne f]

I can well understand your fear as there is a hell of a lot of difference between going to a different town dressed and walking out of your front door dressed so it is best to have a good look at your neighbors and people who might know where you live and what their attitudes might be before you go ahead with a full dress up but you can quite often push the boundaries a bit to start with without to much being noticed or commented on , try a subtle change in style/dress and see what happens first it may relieve some of your fear .

[Tina B.]

Sweetgal, some of us never over come that fear, I tried once, and found it very uncomfortable, even when I lived in a large city, where it was easy to get lost among the herd, now I live in a small town, and too many people know both me and the wife, so the fear is even bigger than it was. I've lived this way for 60 years. When I was Young, what we do was considered a mental disorder, I don't think I've every really overcome the feeling, that people are going to point, and say, he's crazy.

[linda allen]

................... Truth is your neighbours probably take very little notice. I wouldn't be able to tell you what most of my neighbours look like, only the immediate ones.

In my experience, neighbors do notice what goes on. The day I moved into my neighborhood, the lady across the street was standing in her front yard watching. Then she came over and introduced herself.

There's another house nearby where the teenage son has some shady looking friends and they visit the house. Several of the neighbors are keeping an eye on the house and calling the police when things don't look right.

Personally, I don't care what people I don't know think of me but it would bother me to have neighbors think or know that I was a cross dresser. And it would embarass my wife.

[I Am Paula]

From the day I moved into my last few addresses my neighbours have seen every possible combination of Paul/Celeste. C boobless, P with boobs, P loading guitars into his car in heels and a cowboy shirt. And scariest of all- C or P in a bikini. No one has ever said a word. We have nothing to fear except fear itself.

[Tracii G]

From the day I moved into my last few addresses my neighbours have seen every possible combination of Paul/Celeste. C boobless, P with boobs, P loading guitars into his car in heels and a cowboy shirt. And scariest of all- C or P in a bikini. No one has ever said a word. We have nothing to fear except fear itself.

LOL too funny Celeste a couple of months ago my female self was loading gear into my SUV to head to the studio.
I had a huge 4X12 speaker cab to go in last and my neighbor from across the road was watching.
He said here let me help you with that I said thats OK I can get it thanks anyway.
Not sure what he thought because he came over anyway and helped me load it.
He said that looks too heavy for one person to load.
We loaded it and he never said anything I told him thanks and he walked back across the street.
This guy is one of those neighbors that knows everything that goes on but I guess he is OK with Tracii.
We have been neighbors for 15 years and we talk fairly frequently with me in guy mode.
I think he knows maybe.LOL

[Tina B.]

My next door neighbor can tell you everything going on in the neighborhood, and she is my wives hairdresser, so no I don't want to share this with her.

[Ddannie]

RenieD
I found your comments (pasted below) seem to fit me and helpful. I hadn't thought of my fear that way. For now connecting with others online in groups like this is where I am at but going out with others does seem less threatening than going it alone.


Internalized transphobia

Internalized oppression
There are several different ways that people can work together to overcome internalized oppression.....

A first-step practical approach for you, would be to join a TG support group even if you attend in guy mode the first few times. You can explain your fears and they will understand. Also, many of the groups have changing rooms available for people who, like you, are overcoming their fears and are not yet ready to go out dressed.

[Celeste]

Neighbors can be tricky,I live in an apartment style development where many people are likely to see me coming and going.I am not completely out so I do need to take caution.I usually do this by waiting for the right times to exit and making sure my changeover is adequate,meaning detecting my male self would be tough.But there are other problems like being seen getting in the same car...if I park farther away and make it very fast,then I feel good about it.So my plan is not to do this all the time,only when there are no other avenues to get dressed once out.My objective is to reduce the likelihood of a confrontation each time.We can't read minds in this world and yea,my better judgement leans towards not getting my cars vandalized.

[Lucy Lou]

It is something to think about. In some ways we want to be seen and in others we don't. It's just some people are not very open minded and fear anyone who is different. Lucy

[PretzelGirl]

I think there are a lot of variables that make it different for all of us. I could see being in a Home Owners association as causing extra issues in some circumstances. I have avoided them for that reason.

So for me, I don't have much to contend with. There is no one across the street and neighbors on each side. On one side is two guys in their twenties, so they are out most of the time. I get along great with the other neighbor. So I just do my thing. I'll bet they have seen me, but nothing has been said and I while I don't temper my activities, I don't try and be in my neighbor's face either. That roughly means that I will come and go without worrying about whether they are outside, but I am making no efforts to go over and talk to them dressed until the time that they engage me. That will tell me that they are okay.

Elephant in the neighborhood maybe?

[~Joanne~]

I am trying to over come these fears myself so I understand fully your position. It's very hard and sometimes seems like a lost cause. You can do all the reading in the world, prep for it for weeks, and plan till your blue but none of it will change the fear you feel.

A couple of halloweens ago, I went really "out" for the first time. I lived in an apartment with four units upstairs, and four down. I had gone down to the mailboxes many times fully femme without any encounters so I thought halloween would be fairly easy. My GF pulled up to the front door so all I had to do is lock the door, go down the stairs, out the front door and into the car. Things were quiet as always then almost to the bottom of the stairs a neighbor came in the back door and bolted across the bottom floor as I was walking out the front door to get a better look. My world stopped. My GF laughed but it sure didn't help any.

He never said a word to me any day after that though. Now we live in a townhouse and getting out this halloween is worst than the last one. Neighbors every where and always out and about. I don't think I could slip out of here unseen to save the world so some on road dressing is going to happen which is some solid advice.

I am also thinking of a full makeover at ULTA which I want to do but am having a really hard time wrapping my head around it. I would have to cross a parking lot and sit in a chair at a store for however long it may take. It's a huge step. I am ready for it, the day is perfect for it but the fear keeps creeping in. I will be seen and there's no way around it but you know, maybe it's what I need to get past a certain point in my development. food for thought.

[I Am Paula]

Borrow or rent a different car. Get into it like you own it, and drive away. That should throw them off your scent. Good Luck!

[sweetgal]

My neighbors are all around me in my complex so the only option I really have is to drive somewhere else and change.

[linda allen]

I think there are a lot of variables that make it different for all of us. I could see being in a Home Owners association as causing extra issues in some circumstances. I have avoided them for that reason.

A Homeowners Association would have nothing to do with crossdressing. There could be nothing in the covenants banning crossdressers just as there could be nothing banning black or Jewish people.

Your fears are unfounded in this respect.

[linda allen]

There are so many different circumstances, it's impossible to generalize. On the one hand, you might be twenty years old, single, living in San Francisco or New York city, in a part of town with young, single, and possibly gay neighbors and working at the mall or from home. You can do pretty much what you want without consequences. If you have issues, you can move or change jobs.

On the other hand, you might be a preacher in a small southern town and your wife is a local school teacher. You have three elementary and middle school aged children. In this case, being seen prancing around town in boobs, a wig, and high heels will cause you and your family big trouble.

Most of us are somewhere in between these two extremes so we have to decide for ourselves what we are willing to put ourselves and possibly our families through.

[ThisIsBob]

The only neighbors I'm concerned about is our tenants that live in the other half of our duplex. They're all fairly conservative Christian young men, and though I know I'm stereotyping by having this concern, I'd rather not freak them out and lose their rent!

[Erica2Sweet]

I'm completely fearful of my neighbors seeing me in anything not "normal". I worry about them saying things and gossiping about me. I'm also fearful of seeing people I work with around where I live in a dense area in the city. I have no idea how to overcome. I don't know how so many of you can transcend beyond the fear....

"Normal" is nothing more than a setting on your clothes dryer.

To get over this, we face the reality that we cannot control what others think or say about us. If we do not have a close relationship of some type with them, then why does it matter what they think or say? Its an issue of our ego for the most part. If you want to enjoy gender duality out in the world, then you'll probably have to let go of this. All you have to do is make the decision and stick to it.

The key is to conduct yourself is such a way where at the end of the day, we can look in the mirror and respect the person looking back. That's all. We hold our head high and realize that what we choose to do makes us (and our loves ones around us) happy, and we respect ourselves. Many amongst the masses will never offer their approval for non-birth gender expression. Stop chasing that fantasy if you indeed are.

[kimdl93]

I guess it just depends on what's most important to you. If expressing your feminine side is less important than your beliefes about what the neighbors may think, then that's fine. But if you feel confinded in your own home and community by this fear, then you do have the power to liberate yourself. First, a wise man once told me that other peoples' opinions of me were none of my business. So don't worry about it. And remember - fear is just an emotion. Each moment after you step outside your home, some of that fear will disipate because your immediate fears will not be realized.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I would be hesitant to walk around my place dressed, but the other night, i went out for a walk with my GF wearing a skirt and stay ups. Everything else was male, and my buzz cut hair was visible. With my build, no-one would have had much doubt about me being a guy in a skirt. We walked out of her complex, ( where no-one knows me ) across the street, and down a little used pathway to the next sub-division over. I just wanted to see what it felt like to be in the open, in cool weather, ( 10C 50F ) with skirt and stockings. Very pleasant, not cold as I had imaginred. Didn't meet anyone until we got back, and 20 yards from her door, 2 people got out of a parked van in the shadows about 15 feet away. A police van! But they weren't interested in us ( me ) and went over to another building. I know they saw us, and it would have been difficult to miss the skirt... but I detected no interest from them. Even if they had come over, I doubt they would have given us any trouble.

[PretzelGirl]

Oh sure they can make life rough Linda. It doesn't have to be directed at the crossdressing itself. I had two couples that were friends. They had a falling out and one got elected to the HA board. She then just started writing tickets to the other couple. I wasn't much of a HA fan at that point but that sealed it for me. I pay for my property and do what I want on it with the local laws.

[Joanna Maguire]

The first time I was recognised was by a woman at work She took me to her place and we had some fun She also became my first GF I do not know if my neighbours in those years recognised me ? I know others in the street probally recognised me for what I am. But I do not think many take any notice ? Sales person call me "Madam" ad men sometimes open doors for me. These day I do not care if anyone recognises me. Most of my neighbours know e as Joanna. Before I retired every one at work knew. Probably at first they saw my shaved legs arms, long finger nails and long curly haif

[wilt575]

Someday that fear should subside and if you are anything like me, you accept the fact that your family says "WTF", your friends are saying "WTF", your coworkers are saying "WTF", your neighbors are saying "WTF" and even complete strangers say "WTF". Trust me, you get used to it.

Right on Sara That fear passed long time ago with family, friends and co-workers, as it was more trouble to try and hide it and harder, now just normal every day thing, when in fem. Only the neighbors foun out by accident, before I was ready to come out. I was working in yard cleaning up wearing plain jeans, guy white tee shirt,bra and forms. It was a late spring early summer day,neighbor girl about 13/14 walked by stoped said hi etc. I didn't know I had been sweating that much, all of a sudden her eyes got big and she said bye. A little while later I saw her and three or four of her friends walk by and look and start giggling. Then I realized the sweat made straps and some of bra slightly visiable .

[linda allen]

I guess it just depends on what's most important to you. If expressing your feminine side is less important than your beliefes about what the neighbors may think, then that's fine. But if you feel confinded in your own home and community by this fear, then you do have the power to liberate yourself. First, a wise man once told me that other peoples' opinions of me were none of my business. So don't worry about it. And remember - fear is just an emotion. Each moment after you step outside your home, some of that fear will disipate because your immediate fears will not be realized.

But you have to consider not only your own fears, but the fears of your loved ones. So while I might not care what my neighbors think, if it would embarass my wife, I'm not going to do it out of love and respect for her.

[Wildaboutheels]

IF any of your neighbors get together, they are ALREADY gossiping about you, regardless of what you wear. Simple Human Nature. Work with a large group of people on a regular basis and watch what happens in a room of 3 or more people when one person leaves the room.

Fear of what other people might THINK or say is just plain silly. Most "sharp" folks will judge you on HOW you interact with them, and not base their opinion on what others have to say. Fear of "Society" in general is groundless and will only hold you back.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?182840-Society

[Thera Home]

I'm completely fearful of my neighbors seeing me in anything not "normal". I worry about them saying things and gossiping about me. I'm also fearful of seeing people I work with around where I live in a dense area in the city. I have no idea how to overcome. I don't know how so many of you can transcend beyond the fear....

Move out to the country and buy a ranch. That way you don't have to worry.:D

Thera

[JamieQ]

I do want to add that my next door neighbour works for a hospital and she is in charge of hiring. I am finishing an RN degree, so I do not want her to feel any bad vibes if you know what I mean, but i just went out to my car two times in a skirt and high heels...maybe deep down I really do not care. If i were not married presently I would be "out" tonight...pushing to 24/7.

[Dawn cd]

Sweetgal, I understand what you're saying because I'm cautious about exposure myself. However your fear seems excessive. When you are fearful in extreme you are giving people power over you. Their opinions and values become more important than your own. Years from now, when you are older, you may wonder why you let people dictate how you lived your life. You only get to live it once, so dance to your own music and be who you are.

[sometimes_miss]

This is a frequent topic; and as usual, there are plenty of people here who go with the party line of 'there's nothing to fear except fear itself', and will urge you to out yourself for your own (and all other crossdressers) good.
But remember. It's not a friendly world out there. Just like there are plenty of us in the closet, there are plenty of people who hate us as well, who for obvious reasons do not want to be known as such 'intolerant' folks, but would just as soon see us dead as gone from their neighborhood. There are still hate crimes being committed by people against transgendered folks, for no other reason than that, and people are still being killed for 'impersonating' the opposite sex. Perhaps not often enough to be in the headlines every day, but it still happens. And those same people who dislike us will work in the background against us, usually using an alternative reason for finding reasons to make it hard to get (or keep) jobs, housing, and even health benefits.
If you're willing to intentionally make your life potentially more difficult permanently, and accept the risks forever (once you're out, you're out forever, there's no turning back if you change your mind) then go ahead and out yourself to your neighbors and everyone they know, because you WILL become a topic of conversation sooner or later, especially since a decent percentage consider us sexual deviants who are potentially dangerous to their children. If a sex crime is committed in your neighborhood, YOU will automatically become a prime suspect as a known deviant, and don't forget, you're presumed guilty until proven that you have an iron clad alibi no matter what the constitution says.
The world IS NOT waiting with open friendly arms to happily embrace you as a crossdresser.
JMHO.

[Jamie001]

This is a frequent topic; and as usual, there are plenty of people here who go with the party line of 'there's nothing to fear except fear itself', and will urge you to out yourself for your own (and all other crossdressers) good.
But remember. It's not a friendly world out there. Just like there are plenty of us in the closet, there are plenty of people who hate us as well, who for obvious reasons do not want to be known as such 'intolerant' folks, but would just as soon see us dead as gone from their neighborhood. There are still hate crimes being committed by people against transgendered folks, for no other reason than that, and people are still being killed for 'impersonating' the opposite sex. Perhaps not often enough to be in the headlines every day, but it still happens. And those same people who dislike us will work in the background against us, usually using an alternative reason for finding reasons to make it hard to get (or keep) jobs, housing, and even health benefits.
If you're willing to intentionally make your life potentially more difficult permanently, and accept the risks forever (once you're out, you're out forever, there's no turning back if you change your mind) then go ahead and out yourself to your neighbors and everyone they know, because you WILL become a topic of conversation sooner or later, especially since a decent percentage consider us sexual deviants who are potentially dangerous to their children. If a sex crime is committed in your neighborhood, YOU will automatically become a prime suspect as a known deviant, and don't forget, you're presumed guilty until proven that you have an iron clad alibi no matter what the constitution says.
The world IS NOT waiting with open friendly arms to happily embrace you as a crossdresser.
JMHO.

I think you are over-reacting and are looking on the dark side of everything. Posts like yours tend to reinforce all of the dark fears that lurk within many crossdressers. Remember that the world has changes and even gay folks are making progress in all aspects of life. The only way that we can make progress is to get out there and show everyone that we are still the same person and the we are not deviants. If we hide and cower in the closet, then we will never make progress as a group. Gay folks have been making progress because they fight for their rights and are not afraid to get out there and be seen and heard. Do we as the "T" in "LGBT" have the same level of courage as gay folks to get out there and fight for our rights? In order to fight for our rights, we need to get out there and be seen and heard. Cowering in the closet and constantly worrying about what folks think about us will get us nowhere. We can be part of the solution or part of the problem. It is our choice.