If you knew then what you know now

[Jenniferx]

If you knew then what you know now would you do anything different?

I have a transexual friend, when she was young her mother got her on HRT, now she she has no signs of ever being a male, she's gorgeous.
When I was a little boy my parents took me to a therapist (because I was wearing my sisters clothes), the quack said I was normal and it was just a phase- Ha. I always wonder what migfht have been if I hadn't been such a disappointment to my parents and family and made to feel say... different. Could I have at least embraced the girl in me, even if I'm not transexual? It seems the younger transgender people, while it's not easy even today, they get it. My generation, back then- not so much.
So, would I like to be full time- I don't honestly know, but I wish I knew then what I think I know now- You?
Jenn

[ArleneRaquel]

I don't think that I would ever go on HRT, but I may have tried living as a woman much earlier in life, but that is also unlikely as I married and loved my wife very much.

[Barbara Ella]

Jenn, let me first put a bee in your bonnet. You wish you hadn't disappointed your parents and family and made to feel different. Please adopt the approach that if they had not failed you and made you feel accepted things might have been different. You failed no one. You are being true to yourself. They could not see that and failed you in your time of need.

If I knew then what I know now......wait, it was only a year ago, so I do know now precisely what I knew then, and that is my problem. At 66, what do i do?

Barbara

[Beverley Sims]

I had the opportunity then, and knowing what I know now I more than likely would have transitioned.

[Marleena]

I had the opportunity then, and knowing what I know now I more than likely would have transitioned.

Me too.:)

Jennifer your friend has wonderful parents to support her the way they did.

[Heather Daniels]

If I knew then, what I know now. Hmmmmm... tough one to answer, but I think I may have taken some different paths just for education sake.

[docrobbysherry]

I think I'm lucky to have never thot of trying on ladies things until I was over 50. I believe if I had started dressing back in the day, I'd have died a long time ago! Because just wearing clothes wouldn't have been enuff! Heck, it isn't enuff NOW!

[Cynthia Anne]

Yep; I truely wish I knew then what I know now! I would have no sign of maleness either!

[Meghan]

No.

Not knowing how things are going to turn out, the excitement of the uncertainty of the unknown is what makes this interesting for me.

If the envelope isn't being pushed, and the outcome is known before I ever start, the challenge is gone. That's simply not for me.

Meghan

[Loni]

how many decades back is then???
if forty then yes i would have done a lot differently.
would have gotten into hrt. long before the tender age of 21.
and would have put some cash away.


.

[noeleena]

Hi,

What i know now is what i knew then 55 years ago. nothing changed that. i knew i was an intersexed person. & would live as i would , a female / woman , done & all dusted,.

...noeleena...

[Mollyanne]

If I knew then what I know now-------I WOULD HAVE BECOME THE WOMAN WHO LIVES INSIDE OF ME!!!!!!! And that would have entailed HRT, SRS and after that S H O P P I N G!!!!!!!!!

Molly

[sinderella]

I knew what I was at a very young age and I applaud those who were brave and bold enough to make their transitions. But for a lot of us older gals the therapy's and medicines just did not exist (or if they did, we didn't know of them). We still live in a world of prejudice, but when I was a child or young man it was flat out dangerous! I witnessed atrocities and humiliation of crossdressers and people of alternative lifestyles. I went to the Marines when I was 19 yrs old, I considered myself to be brave. But the bravest I witnessed were those who faced adversity and lived as they wanted to. They are the ones who have made it to where today I/we can now go out to clubs and into public. There was no internet, support groups, or the resources available that we afford today. We were quite literally "alone". HRT? yes if it were available and as advanced as it is today, I would most likely have chosen that path at a younger age where it would have been more beneficial, but at 53 I know it wouldn't be of much help to me now. That and the fact that while trying to fit in to a "normal society" I did the things that was expected of a young man. Things that can never be changed ie: children, failed marriages, careers, friends, families. There are more peoples hearts involved at this point, my 12 yr old son may understand my other side, I've taught him to be more accepting of peoples and their lifestyles. He is quite a young man and I look forward to watching him in his development of maturity....but I wouldn't want to bend his brain at this point...am I rambling? I'm sorry, I can get very passionate about certain things and this is one of them. As Crossdressers we are on the soles of all of society, I've been looked down upon by the straights, gays, transgendered...I've been told by all of them that the crossdressers hurt their causes...and to a point I understand what they mean by that. But I am just who I am, I can't change what's in my heart, I make it my responsibility to be more accepting of those who are different than me and teach that to my children as best that I can so their world can be better that the one I grew up in.

[Dana3]

I would have lived my life my congruent with who I am, severly discounted the "programed norms" of society. Embrace femininty? Yes! HRT? Not so much. I would have just accepted myself and incorprated Dana more into myself, my life and my lifestyle and gave a damn about what others thought about it. I wished that the internet had been around to have found out that there are GG's who not only accept, tolerate, embrace, but enthuasitcally seek out men such as myself.

I'm not really interested in sex reassignment, HRT, forced feminzation, sex with other men and some of the other things that are GROSSLY OVER EXAGERATTED that goes with being a cross dresser. I just LOVE women, feminnity, and a lot of things that GG's like and are interested in. Always have been ~ guess I always will be.

I know that on the Bell Curve of humanity? I'm on the skewed end of the "Norm" (Whatever that is) and now at 55 I'm comfortable with that. I also recognize, (Now!) that's OK! In the strict stastical definition of the word "Deviant" I am a deviation from the norm of the populaton. Statistically and mathematically its to be expected and defined. But most any and all human beings are going to find themselves as such in some form, fashion or the other?

Its been the "de-programming" of all the religious, cultural, and societial crap that's been heaped upon me from birth that's been the struggle. I've heard it all my life? "Well that's just not the way that I was raised!" My translation of such? "I've never had an original thought in my entire Life! And if I did? It died a lonely death!"

In my ideal world? I would have been allowed to grow into and develop into my "normal" self, which would have meant embracing my feminne side of my being and personality. That would have meant I would and could have gone to school wearing the clothes and such of a girl or woman. (And NO that doesn't mean that I would want to have sex. Being Transgendered DOES not mean I'm bisexual, homosexual, asexual, pansexual, etc ~ to me it doesn't have anything ~ nor a damn thing to do with SEX!)

It would have meant not having to prove, validate, nor prove my masculinty..............................to myself nor to others. Dito with my sexuality.

The simple fact of the matter is? Despite this being the year 2012? Most of the population of the world is STILL illieterate, un-educated, and prone to "bi-polar" logic (the most primitive form of such ~ either its hot or cold; white or black; light or dark; male or female etc) When the simple TRUTH of the matter is that MOST people's "sqaure peg simply doesn't fit into society's "round hold" as to what is norm.

[Kate Simmons]

It probably would have been different but the world as we know it today might not have existed because I would not have been there as a man to do what I did. That is in no way boastful if you know the story of "The Nail". Anyway, parents were more concerned back then what the neighbors and John Q. Public may think rather than consider our feelings.:)

[pennitkr]

IF......
short answer....
There is a whole bunch i woulda done different but only from a certain point forward...
Yes I would have let the woman in me show through a bit more and who knows where it might have led....
Education not so much
BUT
I would have stayed in the class with the tan paper cards with holes in them.....
OMG my life would be soooooo different.

XO

Penni

[Tina B.]

If I knew then what I know now, I would have fought harder to not put on that first article of my sisters. Being a CD, and not TS, that is about the only thing that I can think of, even knowing where it would lead, and not really wanting to go there, may not have made a difference, but I would have tried harder.

[wanagione]

This is a mixed answer, because I love my family, my kids, my wife, and she is excepting. I know my parents would not be pleased and back then there were few transsexuals that were out. Rene Richards was the first i ever heard of and when i did i was so relieved. I was not the only one! A wise tg doctor, once said something like, we all read about Rene Richards in the newpaper, from the chair looking down at the paper on the floor. We were even scared to actually pick up the paper and let our parents see us reading the artical.
Yes, I would have trasitioned. I know I have said it in the past, If I was younger and it was 2012 I would be way on my way. I do what I can to feminize my self these days, laser on my beard, shape the eybrows, shave my body hair. I embrace feminine things, speak softer, use female words, i have very little male clothing, I wear scrubs at work. And the best news in a long time is my doctor told me I have low testosterone! I'm not treating it.

[RachelDenise]

Food for thought. No doubt I am comfortable in my current life, but I would have paid more attention and effort to develop Rachel. She would have been a bigger part of me today. if you believe in Sci Fi and alternate time lines, somewhere out there I am the most gorgeous woman in the world!

[Gillian Gigs]

Your thoughts are the same ones that have been running around in my head for many years. I am still not any closer to having a satisifing answer for myself. I try to stay from the "what if" questions now, as they only lead me on a chase that is not producing anything of benefit. Our lives would have changed if we had any new input, the question is, would it be have been for the better. By the same thought, your life would have been different if you were born of a different race, or on a different continent. That being said, if I had some "hot" pictures of my sister, Gillian, when she was in her early 20's it would have been nice to have them in the family album, if you catch my drift!

[Kelley]

If I knew then what I know now things would be a lot different for me. No HRT no transition but I would live my life the way I feel and not as I was expected to. I know everyone knew or knew of a guy in school that did his own thing dressed the way he wanted to acted the way he felt. Most everyone accepted him heck most wanted to be his friend he was a free spirit. Well I was always afraid to express anything different than what was expected of teenage boys. I don't think I would wear a skirt to school but I would have lived a little more on the feminin side.

[Angela Campbell]

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then....

[Michelle V]

Very complicated question, had I been strong enough as a youth to follow my dreams I would be a full time girl now...but that would mean I would have never known my wife, I've told her that I would have been a lesbian but she keeps saying we would have never worked since she does not like girls! I would have never known my children and they are my life, if I have a selfish answer I would have definitely pursue my true sexual identity, but the reality is I don't think I would have been fulfilled with my life

[Sally24]

Since I grew up in the 60's when the technology was not as advanced as today I wouldn't have probably done much different. Now if you change the question to what if you were 18 now, then the answer would be totally different. I don't know if I would transition, but that option would be available and considered. It would have been nice to have all the choices and information when I was 15. I had a high voice, soft face, and was 5' 1"!

[Foxglove]

If I knew then--I'm not sure what I would have done since I don't know what I'm doing now. But it would have been different, and maybe happier.

[Jenniferx]

Jenn, let me first put a bee in your bonnet. You wish you hadn't disappointed your parents and family and made to feel different. Please adopt the approach that if they had not failed you and made you feel accepted things might have been different. You failed no one. You are being true to yourself. They could not see that and failed you in your time of need.
Barbara
Well I'll need to work on that one for sure. I guess it really all boils down to was I really born this way, or was I made to be this way, either by my actions or actions of others. Wasn't I a normal little boy at some point? Or was I always wired to want to wear girly things- if that's the case then I can begin to forgive myself, and to some degree I already do. I think I surprize no one by saying it's been a hard life, I would not have chosen-if I had had a choice.
Jenn

[Tracii G]

Me if I were 19-20 I would transition in a heartbeat.

[Jenniferathome]

If I knew then, I would have lived years without shame. I would have told my girlfriend who later became my wife, and I would have enjoyed my time more. But there is no going back so all we can do is take advantage of our time going forward.

[I Am Paula]

Absolutely, with a capitol A. I would be a content 53 year old woman. However, since only hindsight is 20/20, I've come to accept my non-op self as I am. Back in the seventies I could not find a symathetic ear, in either a therapist, or an M.D. and gender reassignment was something 'they do over in denmark'.

[Lorileah]

If things were the same as they were then, then no I would not do anything different. If the technology then was what it is now...we would not be having this discussion because I would be at tennis hitting on the instructor or at the club with the girls talking about how our rich husbands are all jerks but we love out new diamonds

[Foxglove]

If the technology then was what it is now...we would not be having this discussion because I would be at tennis hitting on the instructor or at the club with the girls talking about how our rich husbands are all jerks but we love out new diamonds

I don't believe it for a minute, Lorileah. You're a much more profound and spiritual person than that.

Annabelle

[Pexetta]

I've thought about this a lot - if I'd realised, say, in 1992, that 20 years later it wouldn't have gone away and that I would have finally failed to convince myself that I was 'just a cross-dresser', perhaps I would have transitioned. But - it's not easy to do that in 2012, and it was a lot less easy in 1992. I might have been unable to cope with people's hostility, particularly because back then I hadn't dealt with many other issues which would have made it harder.

I think tbh that knowing then what I know now would have made things worse, because I'd realise what I had to do, but I'd not have the courage to do it.

[Leslie Langford]

If I knew then, I would have lived years without shame. I would have told my girlfriend who later became my wife, and I would have enjoyed my time more. But there is no going back so all we can do is take advantage of our time going forward.

What Jennifer said...

That, and to have bought IBM, Microsoft, Xerox, Polaroid, GM, and Kodak stock when they were still on a tear and to have sold my shares just before they tanked. That, and Apple and Google stock in the start-up years. Facebook - not so much! ;) . Maybe also gold, Swiss Francs, and real estate in Tokyo, Hong Kong, London, Vancouver, and New York City oh, say, about 40 years ago...

[Saffron]

It's no use to think about changing things of your past. Live the present time, nowadays we have more understanding societies, better medicine, laws and the internet :)

[Karinsamatha]

If I knew what I know 20 years ago I believe I would be doing the something I am now, which is pursuing HRT and living "full" time. But I didn't allow my self to acknowlage who I am.

[Leah Lynn]

Me if I were 19-20 I would transition in a heartbeat.

That's two of us, Sister! When I figured out what the hubbub was about Christine Jorgenson, I thought I really wanted to do that, too. However, I felt that I owed it to the family to not be a news sensation; I had to be who THEY wanted me to be. I wasted so many years of my life trying to be "The Good Son".

[Courtneigh]

I definitely would no doubt. I wish I could have transformed when I was young I could and would have embraced it with all I am.
Unfortunately being brought up in a very conservative society and family it was not that easy.
Even later in life would be a challenge as society was still so judgmental and has their views of right and wrong and of what should be and what not.

I too have gone through a phase where I tried to be a normal man as society prescribed. I tried for too long...I should have gone then already with who I knew I was. I have wasted so much precious time and missed opportunities.

But I believe it is never to late and that there is no better time than now.

[PretzelGirl]

I think this shows us how much more we will be out there in the coming years. Young people today have less inhibitions and we see today's impact of society by many in this thread wanting to change how they did things. I am sure that today's mindset has to be a reason for these changes at some level.

I started late, so I really have nothing to go back and change. But I can look back over the last 10 years and say that I had some early inhibitions, which is natural. But then I just started doing what I want. Transition isn't likely in my future, but who knows. The key is that those that start doing this at this day an age are more accepted and more likely to do what they want instead of what they feel is the right compromise.

[Sharon B.]

I would have never gotten married and when I wasn't working in drab attire I would in feminine attire and going out as a woman.
I would have stayed lived in the city instead of being out in the country where I now live.

[JenniferLynn0370]

OMG, no doubt in my mind...I would be a woman, a wife, a mother and love every breath of my femininity...if I had only known then what I know now...if only the internet had been around then...and if I had only had the courage then to just be the woman I have always known I am.

[AnitaH]

If I knew then what I know now-------I WOULD HAVE BECOME THE WOMAN WHO LIVES INSIDE OF ME!!!!!!! And that would have entailed HRT, SRS and after that S H O P P I N G!!!!!!!!!

Molly

I'm with Mollyanne on this.

AnitaH