There are only TWO kinds of CDer. True or false?

[Wildaboutheels]

Group A: Those who "knew" from a very early age.

Or... Group B] Those that found out or figured out later [MAYBE MUCH LATER] that they were somehow different?

Maybe some folks here, [seems like quite a few] believe all folks in group B are LYING? And/or that they also really fall into group A?

The CONFUSING part, is why so many here keep insisting that "not telling your SO" about "something that is very important" [about yourself] is "lying by omission". I always thought it was "natural" for ALL folks to "change" in a # of ways as they got older?

Maybe all the confused folks here have not changed in ANY way, shape or form as you have gotten older or matured? I guess that is possible????

Possible yes, but not very likely.

[Kate Simmons]

Many are in denial most of their lives Hon. As far as change, it is inevitable. If we don't change as we mature, we haven't learned anything and usually get lost in the shuffle.:)

[linda allen]

There are as many kinds of CDers as there are CDers. Just like all black people are not the same, all white people are not the same, all men or all women are not the same.

Many of us have no idea why we do it, we just do.

So - to answer your question - false.

[Erica2Sweet]

...Or... Group B] Those that found out or figured out later [MAYBE MUCH LATER] that they were somehow different?

Maybe some folks here, [seems like quite a few] believe all folks in group B are LYING? And/or that they also really fall into group A?

The CONFUSING part, is why so many here keep insisting that "not telling your SO" about "something that is very important" [about yourself] is "lying by omission". I always thought it was "natural" for ALL folks to "change" in a # of ways as they got older?

...

I think the lying by omission happens when some has engaged in crossdressing, meets and becomes romantically entangled with a woman, and knows very well he should be discussing the crossdressing with her, but decides not to in hopes she will become so entangled with him, she could not bear to leave. This, to me, is deceitful and incredibly selfish.

For those who do not experience desires to crossdress early in life, I don't see how they could be lying about something they have not yet experienced or felt. With regard to this point specifically, I've not seen one instance on this board that suggested otherwise.

[Beverley Sims]

Those in "B" just figured it out later.
Slow thinkers from the mountains I think. :)

[EllenJo]

I think the lying by omission happens when some has engaged in crossdressing, meets and becomes romantically entangled with a woman, and knows very well he should be discussing the crossdressing with her, but decides not to in hopes she will become so entangled with him, she could not bear to leave. This, to me, is deceitful and incredibly selfish.

For those who do not experience desires to crossdress early in life, I don't see how they could be lying about something they have not yet experienced or felt. With regard to this point specifically, I've not seen one instance on this board that suggested otherwise.

In today's world of the internet it is easy to realize that you are not the only CD in the world. However even 20 years ago this was not the case. I told my SO after we met but before we married. At the time I was so in love with her (and still am) that CDing became a secondary thing. She knows but does not support or participate and that is fine with me.

I am just trying to express the fact that for older CDrs the world was a different place 20-30-40 years ago. Don't be too judgemental.

[Jilmac]

I consider myself to be in group A because I started experimenting wearing my sisters' clothes at around age 7. I knew then that I was different from most boys but didn't know why I liked girls clothes so much. As my experimentation morphed into serious dressing, I sought out ways to stop because I didn't want anybody else to think I was wierd or perverted. After seeing a therapist I realized that my urge to dress (and totally enjoy it) was part of my inner being.

That being said, I also believe there is a group B, those who discover their desire to dress after many years of denial caused by social, political, or religious mores. But I do not believe there is such a thing as lying by omission. To me, a lie is a verbal falsehood and to be an actual lie it must be suggested or implied. Omission may have numerous causes such as; fear, denial, anxiety, or those mentioned above. I told both my spouses, and past and present SO's about my dressing. Both spouses disapproved and consequently I kept it hidden (omission), I wasn't lying to them because they knew beforehand. I'm out to my present SO and others but still keep it hidden from some of my adult chidren, am I lying to them? I think not.

[kimdl93]

I suspect there may be a lot more variation in starting points and changes over time among CDrs. Many of us aren't quite sure what we are even as we enter adulthood, and we often don't know if we will "always" be this way. Sure its ideal to tell your SO early on in the relationship - if you know enough to do so. Its better to tell anytime in a relationship than to be discovered. Either way, its a crap shoot, but at least if you tell, you have some opportunity to shape the conversation.

My first wife got me back into dressing after a multi-year hiatus - with a little CD bedroom play. It was fun, we enjoyed it and she knew then that this was a part of me. It worked out for a long time and did not contribute to our divorce. I told my second wife before we married and, we enjoyed it, she accepted it as part of me and its working fine.

[Cheryl T]

My feeling is that we are all the same and that the point of "discovery" for each of us just arrived at a different time in our lives. Some of us began quite young for one reason or another and others made the realization much later. Still others were at points in between.
I don't feel it's denial or lying in any sense....it just happened for them when it happened.

[audreyinalbany]

the way I see it, there are two kinds of people n this world: The kind who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

[Foxglove]

the way I see it, there are two kinds of people n this world: The kind who think there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

Very good, Audrey! I'm not sure what the point here is: there are only two kinds of CDers--those who knew at an early age and those who figured it out later. OK. It just strikes me as a weird criterion. Why divide CDers along that line? I can't see that it's terribly important. Not nearly as important, e.g., as the divide that does exist on this forum between those who have some sort of long to be female and those who don't. That strikes me as significant.

And then it also escapes me why that question should be linked with the issue of "lying by omission". I don't see any connection between the two--unless some kind of research shows that those who know at an early age tell their SO's at an early stage of their relationship.

At any rate, I knew at an early age, but didn't figure it out till later--and I didn't tell my SO until too late, but that didn't turn out to be significant since our relationship wasn't.

Annabelle

[ReineD]

There are only TWO kinds of CDer. True or false?

False. There aren't only two groups of anything in this community. And there are so many different variables and overlaps that influence any desires or choices, that it's impossible to classify into ONLY two groups. :p

There are people who felt an attraction to women's things when they were younger and who acted on it. There are others who felt the same attraction but who didn't act on it. There are some who felt a great deal of attraction and others who had just a passing interest, whether they acted on it or not. And there are different kinds of attraction: is is a desire to "be a girl", or is it a boy's desire to indulge in the sexual feelings that some girls' things stir in him, or is there overlap and everything in between the two?

Also, what is "younger", "later", and "much later"? Where's the cut off, since every person on this site has experienced different desires, at various times of their lives, to different intensities, that also ebb and flow during a life depending on other life circumstances, not to mention the degree of imagination someone has. What if indulging in a lively and intensely satisfying fantasy does the trick for many years? Does this mean the person is any less a CDer than if he actively pursues it, if his life circumstances permit it?

I would say, the only two groups of men there are, are those who are interested in wearing women's things, and those who aren't. :p

... but even then, this can be blurry. If a teenage boy wants to get it on with a girl and she playfully requests that he should wear her panties, you can bet your bottom dollar he'll put them on, just as he would if she suggested he paint his face green, even if wearing the panties or painting his face green on his own would do nothing for him. lol

[Acastina]

If we don't change as we mature, we haven't learned anything and usually get lost in the shuffle.:)

Bingo! There's also that strangely comforting phenomenon of not caring so neurotically what others might think or say as we watch our remaining years dwindle. Be true to yourself while you still can...

[Ressie]

You can divide most anything into two groups. It's called duality or dichotomy. Humans are more complex than that, but you're premise isn't wrong. There are also those that were forced to wear women's articles at some time in their life and liked it! Once one tries those panties on, they always want more!

[Karren H]

Doesn't who you are sexually attracted to come before when you knew?. then there's those who are a girl trapped in a male body.... who are attracted to men but didn't find out till they were older.... and like to wear jeans...... and were first born with the wrong finger longer than the other...... and was in the IT field.......

[STACY B]

TRUE !! Really True ,,,2 Kinds of CDs ,,,That's it ,,, Those who dress ,,, An those who would Love to dress an don't .

[Marleena]

Doesn't who you are sexually attracted to come before when you knew?. then there's those who are a girl trapped in a male body.... who are attracted to men but didn't find out till they were older.... and like to wear jeans...... and were first born with the wrong finger longer than the other...... and was in the IT field.......

Pssst Karren. You left out Bi when dressed and Alien abductions.lol.

[ArleneRaquel]

IMHO,
There are as many CD's as there are angels dancing on the head of a pin, too many to count.

[Foxglove]

If a teenage boy wants to get it on with a girl and she playfully requests that he should wear her panties, you can bet your bottom dollar he'll put them on. . .

Um, Reine, I'm not sure I'd bet my bottom dollar on this one. I'd bet my top one, though.

[Karren H]

Pssst Karren. You left out Bi when dressed and Alien abductions.lol.

damn.... and those abducted by green aliens or grey ones?

[Marleena]

damn.... and those abducted by green aliens or grey ones?

Both.. they are both known to probe not so pleasant places.:D

[ArleneRaquel]

Both.. they are both known to probe not so pleasant places.:D

I think that I would prefer being probed by a green alien ! :D

[ReineD]

Doesn't who you are sexually attracted to come before when you knew?. then there's those who are a girl trapped in a male body.... who are attracted to men but didn't find out till they were older.... and like to wear jeans...... and were first born with the wrong finger longer than the other...... and was in the IT field.......

I have a girl friend from High School who married, raised kids, and fell in love with a woman at her workplace at age 40. She had no clue that she was lesbian/bi/pan/or-whatever until then. She genuinely had no clue, we've asked her, since she could have come out as lesbian to us way back then and none of us (her closest friends) would have cared. In fact, another one of us at the time did come out as a lesbian and we all accepted it.

[Marleena]

I think that I would prefer being probed by a green alien ! :D

Do they do things differently? I heard they're both kinky..

[ArleneRaquel]

Do they do things differently? I heard they're both kinky..

Marleena,
The Greens are softer to the touch.

[Foxglove]

I think that I would prefer being probed by a green alien ! :D

No, Arlene, you wouldn't. I've had that, and it's not nice at all. The grey ones aren't so bad, since they know what they're doing. A more advanced species, you see.

[ArleneRaquel]

No, Arlene, you wouldn't. I've had that, and it's not nice at all. The grey ones aren't so bad, since they know what they're doing. A more advanced species, you see.

Annabelle,
Thank you for the information, but grey things frighten me....green is so soothing.

[Veronica27]

I don't believe that there is such a thing as lying by omission. There can be many reasons for not divulging everything to everybody. First of all there is the question of privacy. We are all entitled to our privacy. We are not lying when we do not disclose our income to everybody. Secondly, we are often told things we may need to know in the strictest confidence and are sworn to keep the secret. This is the basis of many professions such as doctors, lawyers and accountants. While a sound marriage is based on truthfullness, there can be logical and necessary reasons for not disclosing everything.

As far as the crossdressing question is concerned, if a man is actively indulging in crossdressing, I don't think that it is wise to keep that fact from a prospective spouse. However, if the crossdressing was a childhood or adolescent thing, with no indulgence taking place for many years, it may cause needless problems to bring up the subject. You are aware you did, but may not be aware that you still are. In my case, my early crossdressing began over 60 years ago, and was very limited in extent because of lack of opportunity and shame. I fantasized about it more than I actually did it, but as I grew past my mid teen years, my dressing gradually dwindled and I made a conscious effort to put it out of my mind. In those days there was no information about it, you felt that you were the only one and that you were doing something terrible and repugnant. Many years went by without my putting on any female clothing or having any daydreams of doing so. As far as I was concerned, I was cured and by the time I met my first wife I believed that there was no reason to dredge up such a despicable part of my past. The crossdressing eventually returned, and when it did, I disclosed this fact to my wife with no negative repercussions, but I kept it very much in check wearing only a few favourite items on very limited occasions. My first wife was later diagnosed with cancer, and by the time I ultimately lost her to this scourge, I had long since tossed everything and vowed to never again crossdress, largely because of feelings of guilt. Eventually I remarried, and was in the same situation as the first time. I had not crossdressed for many years, and had not allowed myself to even think about it. Why spoil a beautiful relationship by disclosing what was still in my mind an unsavoury part of my past. Maybe it was selfishness on my part, but by the same token, telling might also have been an act of selfishness by way of seeking approval for my indiscretions. Eventually, it was my second wife who raised the subject of crossdressing by way of questions, and so I was totally honest about my past. She advised me to indulge myself if and when I felt a need as a means of relieving stress and helped me to obtain most of the necessities. The rest is history, as I was soon crossdressing fully for the first time in my life at about age 50.

So which group does that put me in? I still believe it was something I could have suppressed if I had been sufficiently determined, but after overcoming the guilt and shame combined with the available knowledge available now, there appears to be no valuable reason to do so. I don't think that prior disclosure would have helped either of my marriages, but might have destroyed them before they even started. Both of my wives were able to accept this as simply a minor aspect of my personality, after having time to really get to know me and love me.

Veronica

[RebeccaLynne]

I would say, the only two groups of men there are, are those who are interested in wearing women's things, and those who aren't. :p

Amen to that. Whatever their motivation, or the age at which they experimented.


... but even then, this can be blurry. If a teenage boy wants to get it on with a girl and she playfully requests that he should wear her panties, you can bet your bottom dollar he'll put them on, just as he would if she suggested he paint his face green, even if wearing the panties or painting his face green on his own would do nothing for him. lol

Reine, you understand males waaay too well... to get into her panties, we'll do anything!:devil:

Once we've tried it though, we may like it a lot more than she'd ever imagined.

I've crossdressed since I was four, and the offer of dressing en femme "for fun" with my GF (later my wife) was opening Pandora's box. She realized then what I'd known all along... I shoulda been a girl.

I don't know about painting my face green though... I never felt I shoulda been born a gremlin!:heehee:

[Mikaela]

There are also 10 types of people in the world, those they understand binary and those that don't.

[Amy A]

I like motorbikes. It's not something my family are entirely comfortable with, but my girlfriend doesn't mind as long as I don't talk about it too much or try to bring it into the bedroom.

I often think are there only two types of people in this world? People who like motorbikes and people who haven't ridden one yet, and are therefore LYING to themselves.

But then I met two blokes in a pub. They saw me pull up on my motorbike, and one of them started talking to me. Turns out he really likes motorbikes as well, so I thought he must be just like me. But the other one really didn't like them; they seemed to make him angry. I concluded that he was lying to himself and that secretly he really likes motorbikes.

The guy who likes motorbikes then saw my t-shirt, which had the name of a heavy metal band on. He said he didn't like heavy metal. Naturally, I was shocked, how could he like motorbikes and not like heavy metal? Perhaps he's not a proper motorbiker. Then I thought, perhaps there are two types of motorbikers....

Then I recieved a blow to the head and realised we are all beautiful and unique snowflakes and I should stop looking for ways to categorise people.

[Ressie]

There are also 10 types of people in the world, those they understand binary and those that don't.

Now that made me laugh - in a hexadecimal way!

[Wildaboutheels]

Of course the answer is FALSE. All CDers are Human. And ALL Humans are unique, even identical twins.

As to aliens? Always go with the green ones if given a choice. Green IS the most soothing color which is why most trees and grasses are green. Of course some might argue that it is the other way around.

And Veronoca 27 had a very nice post that I certainly hope people took the time to read. We ALL have our own stories and reasons as to why, when and/or who "we tell" and I think her post is a prime example.

[Frédérique]

There are only TWO kinds of CDer. True or false? Group A] Those who "knew" from a very early age. Or... Group B] Those that found out or figured out later [MAYBE MUCH LATER] that they were somehow different?

Being different is the hand I was dealt, and I just grew into it over time. Oh, at one point I wanted to be not quite so different from others, but that didn’t work out, so I decided to cultivate this idea of being truly different. Putting on women’s clothing was just another step along my lonely, deviant path through life…

True or False? False – there are many kinds of crossdressers, and no two are alike. For instance: I'm not "wild about heels!" :doh:

[NicoleScott]

There are 3 kinds of people : those that can count, and those that can't.

[sinderella]

I new very early (4 yr old). But that being said l there are people that don't understand it and base their judgement on their own personal experience say that isn't possible, no way I was born this way. But there is no way I can follow their way of thinking and start judging those who found their other side later in life. Just because I didn't sure doesn't mean someone else can't.

[Ressie]

I new very early (4 yr old).

After 55 years, I remember something about my 4th birthday, my new blue jeans. I remember checking to see what my butt looked like with them on. I never thought of this being connected to crossdressing, but it is related to my sexuality - which crossdressing is a part of. I had other experiences in early childhood involving clothing of the opposite sex, but the concept didn't hit me until I was a teen IIRC.

[Foxglove]

There are 3 kinds of people : those that can count, and those that can't.


There are also 10 types of people in the world, those they understand binary and those that don't.

We are really getting silly now.

[ChristineReid]

On one level - yes - but that is a very simplistic one. I think in reality everyone is different and has their own reasons. I could go no to say that every male has a feminine aspect that needs to be brought out into the open in order to progress spiritually - but some may not find this at all, some may do it without dressing and some may do it with dressing (like a ritual that has some kind of spiritual or sexual power - is there a difference??). Whatever if you feel the need and it doesn't hamr anyone then go do it! Cx

[Teri Ray]

I believe there are only two kinds of crossdressers in the world. Those who crossdress and confess they are and those who crossdress and dont confess. Oh and blonde crossdressers. Thats it.

[sometimes_miss]

Group A: Those who "knew" from a very early age. Or... Group B] Those that found out or figured out later [MAYBE MUCH LATER] that they were somehow different?
Nope, there are more.

Maybe some folks here, [seems like quite a few] believe all folks in group B are LYING? And/or that they also really fall into group A? The CONFUSING part, is why so many here keep insisting that "not telling your SO" about "something that is very important" [about yourself] is "lying by omission".
That's how women see it. Women expect men to tell them EVERYTHING that they might want to know. But they expect us to figure out what that is. Along with the usual disclaimer of 'well, if you don't know, I'm certainly not going to tell you' as their response. No matter what, the man is always to blame. Remember, you're always expected to know everything she wants at all times, because 'if you really loved her, you'd know'.


I always thought it was "natural" for ALL folks to "change" in a # of ways as they got older? Maybe all the confused folks here have not changed in ANY way, shape or form as you have gotten older or matured? I guess that is possible? Possible yes, but not very likely.
Yes, people change as we go through our lives. But sexually, usually not too often. Most common is that we respond sexually to our impulses, and don't really want to (or are able to ) know more about it. Most just go through our lives following our desires without giving them much thought. What happens to some of us is that we begin to recognize certain patterns of feelings and behavior and explore that, which opens up acknowledgment of feelings and desires that may have previously been hidden beneath conscious thought. Then you have another group, who starts out as a straight heterosexual, and becomes conditioned to respond to sexual, cultural and other interpersonal behavior patterns of the opposite sex. I suppose there are lots more as well.

[Foxglove]

Oh and blonde crossdressers. Thats it.

As a blonde, you would say that, wouldn't you? But if you'll excuse me, ma'am, there are also redheads. There's even an organization called RASP--"Redheads Are Special People". I never joined it, but I could have if I'd wanted to.

Annabelle

[Ressie]

Blondes have more wigs!

[Teri Ray]

Let me see if I have this right Annabelle . Redheads are crossdressers also? that would make 5 kinds of crossdressers. Thats it ..............final answer.

[Foxglove]

Let me see if I have this right Annabelle . Redheads are crossdressers also?

Yep. Except for my mother, my sister, my brother, my cousin, the gorgeous checkout girl at the supermarket, and probably lots of others, all redheads are crossdressers.

Annabelle