Help with Custody

[angpai30]

OK, I have a huge dilema... I divorced almost 2 years ago and my Ex and I have joint custody... apparently when I revealed I was starting transition she immediately found an attorney and filed for Sole Custody six months later. Well I went to the hearing and the judge read off two laws stating that the court is to be absolutely silent on the matter of a moral decision such as transitioning and that they cannot rule a legal ruling on a moral matter as the moral matter is not a legal issue. He did bar me from wearing womens clothees in front of my kids though and now every time my Ex sees me she takes pictures and tries to record our conversations. I contacted the PD and they said Vouyerism in Utah is not illegal and so I am at a stand still on what to do as most of her pictures are of me wearing mens clothing anyways. She has like 6 of me on one day picking up the kids on my lunch break dressed as a woman because I work as a woman. I have figured a way around picking my kids up on lunch, but there are a few I still haven't figured a way around yet. I would like to get the barring removed somehow so that it remains a non-legal matter as the judge made it by barring me.

Angela

[Marcyme]

Contact an attorney! Utah legal aid is a resource if you can not afford one. Also, I bet the ACLU would love a case like this in Utah. Bit be prepared to be OUT! It could get messy, especially in Happy Valley!

[angpai30]

I actually contacted the ACLU and they declined because my ex put in other allegations that were pretty much quashed by the judge as he turned to her attorney and said "Council why are you even here? I have a long day ahead of me and this better be good." Her attorney didn't even say anything about wearing womens clothing and the judge had to remind him that he spent so much time on it and was wondering if he still wanted to continue his case as he didn't mention the wearing of womens clothing. Anyways the ACLU did say no to my initial application for representation.

Angela

[Aprilrain]

how can a judge bar you from wearing cloths, how is that legal?

[angpai30]

I don't know... The judge actually said no "Crossdressing", but I'm not "Crossdressing" I'm transitioning and therefor is no longer crossdressing to me and will never be again. I was thinking the other day that when I go through with SRS that I would no longer be "Crossdressing" in the states eyes and thus I could go back to court and say hey look I'm a woman and not a man so it is crossdressing for me to be wearing mens clothing now, lol. I don't know how it works, but he did bar me from wearing womens clothing in front of my kids at least for now.

Angela

[kimdl93]

Better keep consulting with your attorney.

[Nigella]

On this side of the pond it is difficult to understand some of the rulings the American justice system makes, just as I guess some of ours would be for yourselves. However, one question I would ask is...


... Have you legally changed your name etc, or whatever it is you do to be recognised as female? If the answer is yes, then surely you have grounds to appeal the judges ruling as he is basically saying you have to dress as a man in front of your kids, when you are legally female.

[Michelle Crossfire]

You state that the judge said that it is not a legal matter. If that is true, he should not have issued any ruling. However, in Family Courts, or Domestic Relations Courts, they are not accountable to anyone, really, and pretty much do whatever they want, under the guise of "best interests of the child" which is not really defined legally. You should consult an attorney, but he may not tell you anything until he absolutely has to, and by that time, you have spent thousands in attorney fees.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

you need a lawyer to advise you whether the judge had the "right" to order you to do what he says..

it stinks because all this is $$ to lawyers and its all so sad and unneccessary...