It’s just a PHASE I’m going through, right?

[Frédérique]

When I was a little boy my parents took me to a therapist (because I was wearing my sisters clothes), the quack said I was normal and it was just a phase...

This is a great idea – when someone is wondering what the heck is going on with all of your M to F crossdressing, gesturing, emulating, thinking and feeling, just tell them it’s perfectly normal and you’re only going through a phase. Surely that will put them at ease, right?

What could be more natural? The Moon has phases, based on how it appears from your vantage point on Earth, doesn’t it? That’s because a phase is a distinguishable part of a sequence or cycle occurring over time. If some MtF crossdressers begin their adventure in secret, gradually appear more and more as time goes on, and then, influenced by societal pressures, purge and withdraw, only to re-appear at a later date, isn’t this phase-related activity? BTW, did you know that “phaseless” means without variety and monotonous? Pity the phaseless creatures, my friends...

A phase is a point in an individual’s life during which he or she will express himself or herself in a manner that is difficult for others to control, let alone comprehend. Parents often use this term to describe unexpected patterns of behavior in their children, and, I assume, a spouse or SO may hope you’re only going through a phase when you crossdress. Nobody expects crossdressing, do they? No doubt about it, I’m passing through a phase, but it encompasses my entire life – what you see is what you get, because this is the view I want you to see. Phases need not be temporary, you know, nor do they necessarily have a shelf life...

A phase is any of the ways in which something may be observed, considered, or presented. You are who you are, no matter what way your appearance manifests itself – you are showing one of many different and varying appearances of the same subject, i.e. your “self.” Your life is a series of stages or phases, a cycle of changes that is key to your development as a human being. If you see MtF crossdressing in this context, how can it be non-understandable or unfathomable? The Moon exhibits variation in levels of illumination, and so do you. I suppose others, the outsiders, want you to present only one “face” to the world at all times – anything else is too much bother to take in!

Monotony seems to be a desired goal for most people, otherwise variation would be welcomed as the natural occurrence it is. Family, friends, spouses, SO’s and co-workers all hope we’re going through a phase of some sort – anything else would be evidence of mental disturbance, which is a roundabout way of saying that monotonous individuals do not wish to be disturbed. I’ll tell you, when you’re a boy, there is precious little leeway in the way of “phases.” You’re required to act, think, and comport yourself in a certain way from day one, and there will be no questions about it. It takes effort to detach oneself from this dogmatic masculinity, and it may very well lead to MtF crossdressing at some point, but it’s merely a cyclical change with development in mind. Can you dig it?

To “phase” also means to plan, introduce, or carry out something in stages – to “phase out” is to withdraw. I think this accurately describes the “career” of the MtF crossdresser – he (now she) wear’s women’s clothing, likes what she sees and enjoys how she feels, so she wants to do it all the time from now on. She introduces herself in a tentative manner, not wanting to destroy her precious and fragile new self, so there is a phased, hopefully positive incorporation. If she meets with resistance from the phaseless creatures that surround her, she may phase out to put everyone at ease – except herself, that is. This is depressing, but she just wants to feel good about her “self,” and not cause any mental apprehension. It’s hard to do things that are completely natural in a world where conformity rules, but that’s how it is…

I keep thinking how certain animals go through phases, meaning characteristic variations in regards to color, plumage, or fur according to season or age (to name a few examples). Humans understand such changes, but clothing is something that sets humans apart from animals – our phases are largely internal, and they may manifest themselves via clothing, but willful disregard for one’s birth gender is too hard to swallow for some people. As a MtF crossdresser, I show a different form of myself, with appropriate plumage, exhibiting absence of monotony or expressing fear of sameness. I’m on a mission of self-discovery, and it’s not a phase, unless LIVING itself can be termed a phase…

If crossdressing is somehow a “phase,” are you waxing or waning? Me? NOT applicable… :hmph:

[May(be)]

I'm unphased by your question and can tell you that "it's just a phase" is just a phrase. I do know that interest for some waxes and wanes, but I've always had thoughts of crossdressing so I can't say that it's anything but ever-present in my life.

I don't like the idea that just because something is a phase, that it is trivial. It's all part of the narrative of your life and no experience is so trivial that nothing is learned from it

I don't want to derail your thread, so ignore the following musing: In star trek, a phaser is a particle disruption ray. Maybe a CD/TG activist should be known as a phaser? Hmmm...

[TGMarla]

I'm phasing to my Autumn wardrobe at present, soon to be phased again to my Winter wardrobe. I've phased out my Summer-wear, and eagerly await the holiday phase.

[Cynthia Anne]

When I was very young I did boy things! I think that was just a phase I was forced to go through by my parents!

[Beverley Sims]

Hello Frederique,
Nothing fazes, phases me.
You are thinking great thoughts again.
Good for you.

[Michelle 2]

Freddy as usual you conjure up an interesting thought. But my question to you is for so many like myself who have crossdressed for over a half century can this really be called a phase? After all these years and especially post acceptance to oneself it must be something more. Most of our sisters I think continue to evolve as we get older and in your terms are "waxing". I know personally that I am constantly learning from the ladies here and enjoy experimenting and "phasing" in new ideas on becoming more femme. I have come a long way in comportment,voice,makeup and style just by being a member of this forum. I remember a time where it was just acting now I am so relaxed with being feminine it is just natural for me, and it is such an amazing difference in how I relate to the world around me. I am happier and feel terrific!

Michelle

[Jill]

Ha ha, "the quack" told the parents it was a phase. Perhaps there was some method to this "quack." Perhaps he knew it was not a phase and perhaps he knew it was not a good reason to put your kid into therapy so he just told that to the parents so they would relax and let it go?

[Tracii G]

Ha ha, "the quack" told the parents it was a phase. Perhaps there was some method to this "quack." Perhaps he knew it was not a phase and perhaps he knew it was not a good reason to put your kid into therapy so he just told that to the parents so they would relax and let it go?

I tend to think this happens a lot when the Dr doesn't really know the answer.

[Stephanie47]

Well, the quack is right in that Jenni is normal! He is also right that Jenni is going through a phase. It's just the phase is a long term phase.

[ChristineReid]

Possibly it's a phase of expressing the feminine (which is hidden in all males - se Jung's concept of Anima) and the phase may be to express it and then reintegrate it so theat, effectively, we become hermaphrodite i.e. equally comfortable expressing both sexes (at least that's my definition). I think it is a tremendous asset to be able to express in both feminine and masculine - and would even go so far as to say it is the 'mature' state - i.e. beyond just expressing your genital sex. In qabalistic terms it make a lot of sense in terms of spiritual progression. Cx

[Gillian Gigs]

In doing electrical work, I have been "bitten" by a single phase, 120 volt AC, "bitten" by two phases of a three phase system across the chest, 347 volts AC. I am an AC/DC kind of guy and been "bitten" by 250 volts DC also. Maybe that is my problem!!! Through all of it I came to the conculsion that CDing is not a phase, but a lifestyle. Now that may be shocking to some, but it is a lifestyle that I wish I could be more open about. After all, some rednecks get to dress up as cowboys, with some of them looking like total idiots. I would stand a better chance of passing in a skirt, than most of them would with there boots and hat.

Keep up the good work, Freddy.

[Angela Campbell]

I think a cowboy hat and boots would look great with a skirt I have!

[kimdl93]

Couldn't think of an adequately clever response, so ill just answer as best I can. As a teenager, hoped this was a phase that might pass. It didn't. The desire did wane briefly only to wax more intensely...perhaps in response to my futile attempts to deny my nature. As I've matured it seems that my desire to express this part of myself has continued to grow,though balanced by competing demands. And I'm ok with that.

[NathalieX66]

I'm glad Dr. Phil was never my therapist. This sounds like something he would say.

[suit]

and it might be said that our life is just a phaze our sole travles for a while.

[Veronica27]

Your topic made me stop in my tracks and grab my trusty mouse to google a dictionary. For such a short and simple word, I wasn’t sure I really knew the meaning of “phase“. I have for countless years been fully aware of its use to describe such things as the cycle of the moon, and increasingly over the last thirty or forty years, have observed its use to describe the sub-classes of the various models of diesel locomotives on the railroads. I have even been aware of the “its just a phase” comments in a wide assortment of applications, but I never paid much attention to what that actually meant. Other than those three applications, I am honestly not sure if I have ever used the word to any great extent. I even searched its use on this forum, and incidentally found at least two other threads begun by yourself. Of the dozen or so pages of threads in which that word has been used during my time on the forum, there was only one to which I had replied, and I did not use the word.

But after reading your post, I came to the realization that the periodic cycling of the moon, the design and building of a new variation of a locomotive model and outgrowing some portion of our life have nothing in common. The moon’s phases come and go and subsequently recur. The locomotive’s phases come and remain. The human’s phases may or may not occur, but if they do they are expected to pass. After reading your scholarly definitions of the word, confirming them by my dictionary searches and relating these to my prior experience in the uses of the word, my original apathy toward the word phase has been replaced by befuddlement, bemusement and bewilderment. (yes I also googled a thesaurus)

The question then is: does the word phase have any relevance to the cross-dressing phenomenon. Many claim that crossdressing is a part of our birthright, and cannot be cured and never goes away. Is an entire lifetime a phase? Can the fact that life circumstances often have an impact on the extent of crossdressing be interpreted as the end of a phase, when different circumstances might have had an entirely different outcome? Does the return to crossdressing after a period of abstinence caused by factors such as the raising of a family, or lack of opportunity because of occupation etc. signify a new phase, or a sequence of recurring phases, or does it have nothing whatsoever to do with phases?

I will not belabour this by bringing up such definitions of phase as “a point of view”, “a state of synchronous operation” such as bringing different mechanisms into “phase”, or as a verb “to schedule or order to have available when needed”

Oops, I didn’t get into waxing and waning yet. Perhaps another day.

Veronica, unfazed

[Frédérique]

I don't want to derail your thread, so ignore the following musing: In star trek, a phaser is a particle disruption ray. Maybe a CD/TG activist should be known as a phaser? Hmmm...

OF COURSE you want to derail my thread! :doh: Set phasers to “femme,” please… :battingeyelashes:


Ha ha, "the quack" told the parents it was a phase. Perhaps there was some method to this "quack." Perhaps he knew it was not a phase and perhaps he knew it was not a good reason to put your kid into therapy so he just told that to the parents so they would relax and let it go?

Maybe the doctor/therapist/person is a closeted crossdresser, and he’s doing a favor for the community! Of course, many boys do go through a crossdressing phase, only to later plunge themselves headlong into those mindless activities that describe masculine conformity. The “phase” may then become a distant memory that cannot re-occur, lest one’s peers, who are eager to humiliate, get wind of this abnormality in the boy’s character and act upon their own repressed desires. A phase of this nature can run its course, I suppose, but it seems more likely to me that the incident or episode will eventually be remembered and repeated, thus negating the “phase” moniker…

[Jeannie]

Phase shcmaze, I have been been dressing for over 23 years. How long are phases supposed to last anyway?

[sometimes_miss]

I'm unphased by your question and can tell you that "it's just a phase" is just a phrase. I do know that interest for some waxes and wanes, but I've always had thoughts of crossdressing so I can't say that it's anything but ever-present in my life. I don't like the idea that just because something is a phase, that it is trivial. It's all part of the narrative of your life and no experience is so trivial that nothing is learned from it. I don't want to derail your thread, so ignore the following musing: In star trek, a phaser is a particle disruption ray. Maybe a CD/TG activist should be known as a phaser? Hmmm...
Wow, great play on words. Did you study under George Carlin??

[Barbara Ella]

Yes, it is a phase, but you do not necessarily have to be going through it. Let me explain

This brings my engineering backgrond,and a course in Thermodynamics, which at my time all Civil Engineers had to take.

Materials all exist in a state that is referred to as a phase. Water can be liquid. It can be steam. It can be ice, it can be water vapor. The distinct phase of a material is totally dependent upon the external conditions, pressure temperature, etc. and the internal composition of the material.

Sticking with water, Heating it causes it to boil. However, lowering the pressure causes water to boil at a lower temperature - the reason mountain climbers can burn themselves handling heated foods at higher altitudes (lower pressure) when the actual temperature is quite low. Lowering the temperature causes water to freeze and become ice. Raising the temperature causes the ice to revert to a liquid by melting. However, given the right external conditions, ice can go directly from ice to vapor without becoming a liquid (subliming).

My point being, that if the external conditions are maintained, there is no need to change from one phase to another. The key is to know precisely what the external conditions are that will maintain the phase.

Does this rambling exposition relate to us as cross dressers? I hope so or I have totally bored a lot of people (OK I bore them regardless...). If you can maintain your external conditins you can remain in your phase. So where Freddie says it does not apply, that is totally wrong from an engineering standpoint. You are most certainly in a phase, and as long as you are happy, you will remain there in a stable (physical, not going to the mental aspect) condition, and there is no reason for you to transition to another phase.

SOrry Freddie, you cannot avoid the physics and engineering aspects of phases. Now if we could just define and grasp the external conditions and how they impact each individual's internal factors, we could bottle something.

Barbara

[Meghan]

Freddy,

If I interpreted your message correctly, the readers digest version says that when someone references a phase, they refer to a short-term behavior variance away from normal distribution of outcomes. In other words, a phase is some behavior that won't last very long.

What I gather from your post is everything is a phase, and these seemingly aberrant behaviors might be phasing in over a longer period of time for those impacted by them...to the point that if someone says "this is just a phase" is probably right, yet they don't know how it relates to the longer term behaviors.

Is it also fair to observe anything, I mean anything at all, and write it off as a phase?

Meghan

[Tara D. Rose]

yes it is a phase for some of us, it is a phase for me. There is a beginning of the phase and there is an end to the phase. And the duration of the phase begins and ends from person to person. Mine began around 4 years old, and the phase will end when they lay me in my grave.


Peace and Love,
Tara D.Rose

[Krististeph]

"Phase" as an electronic/physics definition, is an aspect of a portion of time of a cycle...

crossdressers cycle? hell yes. Purging cycles- self hate- all that shit. it is cyclic.

it is very much a function of neurochemistry- which varies cyclically. so, technically, a "Phase" is a real and relevant term... but only if used correctly.

crossdressing and transgender aspects as a whole are NOT cyclical or varying. period.

the way in which we deal with them, are (often unfortunately) cyclical, due to external or internal influences.

But as a life long concept/aspect? Definitely NOT applicable... no apologies what so ever.

-Kristi with ~ 30 hours combined teaching and attending... for the next 7 weeks- in a rather ornery mood... (hell, i've got half a mind to show up in a cheerleader outfit or otherwise, and tear into anyone who get in my way of finishing class...) just musing- i won't do anything antisocial...

[Angela Campbell]

I spent many years trying to figure this thing out. I started very young maybe even under 4 years old. I always wanted to be a girl. I did have times when I didn't dress up for long periods but not really because I didn't want to but because it wasn't easy to do so without being caught. Sometimes it was because I had more important things going on like supporting my family or building my carreer. Mostly it was for fear of being found out. Now I live alone and travel out of town a lot and find much more time to dress up and more opportunity to keep clothing with less fear, so I dress much more. If it was more accepted by society I would most likely have lived most of my life as a woman. I don't think I really went through phases as much as the situations I was in went through phases and I was just sort of pushed along on the bow wave.

[Raychel]

It is just a phase for me, A very long phase, but just a phase, I expect that this phase will end, maybe a few days before I die.
Until then, I am happy being me. And to heck with what all those quack's say

[Samantha43]

Phase shcmaze, I have been been dressing for over 23 years. How long are phases supposed to last anyway?

My "phase" has lasted for 37 years and shows no sign of waning.....in fact it might still be waxing! ;)