I want to go sissy, can anyone offer advice?

[Gwinnie]

I'm a little confused by this a bit I think. I have recently found sissy dresses online. I was looking at lolita dresses and came across some sissy dresses. I can't believe all the ruffles and puffy sleeves and the crazy poofy skirts. So over the top feminine!! They look so beautiful!!! I was wondering where I could buy some for cheap that still look beautiful. Also, I was wondering how SO's seem to deal with sissy dresses. My wife seems okay with me wanting to wear women's clothes, but this just seems like a whole other level. Any advice?

[Karren H]

beautiful or cheap.... pick one! typically they are mutually exclusive.... lol.

[Gwinnie]

well that's not good. :-)

[outhiking]

I would love to try some on, but they seem to be very expensive and should really be custom fit to look their best. You might try one for Halloween and see how it goes with your SO.

[bobbimo]

There is always Ebay.
and its fun hunting too.
Bobbi

[Lorileah]

I'm a little confused by this a bit I think. I have recently found sissy dresses online. I was looking at lolita dresses and came across some sissy dresses. I can't believe all the ruffles and puffy sleeves and the crazy poofy skirts. So over the top feminine!! They look so beautiful!!! I was wondering where I could buy some for cheap that still look beautiful. Also, I was wondering how SO's seem to deal with sissy dresses. My wife seems okay with me wanting to wear women's clothes, but this just seems like a whole other level. Any advice?

Over the top is probably a good way of describing it. This is a fetish. Are you into fetish? Is your wife? Is dressing part of your sexual play? On the TG spectrum this is what most women fear. Where it isn't something you do because you feel you have to, but you wear it because it makes you sexually aroused. If you and your wife are not sexual fetish players I can see your wife going from OK to "OH HELL NO!" in 60 seconds

[paulinescotlandcd]

Why not start with a look around Ebay?

http://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_trksid=p5197.m570.l1313&_nkw=maid+dress&_sacat=0&_from=R40

[heatherdress]

http://www.sissymaidoutfits.com/
http://www.thesissystore.com/sissy-dress

[ChristineReid]

In li'l ol' england we can buy stuff on line from Marks and Spencer - no problem (as long as you are there to receive the package - unless your SO knows). I started off looking in charity shops - somehow seems easier when you know you are contributing to a good cause! Cx

[Brianna612]

beautiful or cheap.... pick one! typically they are mutually exclusive.... lol.

There's nothing cheap about beauty.

I think they look like a lot of fun but quite unpractical for real life so I stay away. If you are into the fetish thing then go for it but talk to your wife about it first.

[Gwinnie]

well, my dressing is pretty much a fetish thing I guess. I prefer huge ball gowns and flowing dresses. So I guess most of what I wear isn't practical for daily use. Maybe she would be open to this.

[NicoleScott]

Where it isn't something you do because you feel you have to, but you wear it because it makes you sexually aroused.

Not exactly.
Those who crossdress because they are compelled by some internal femininity identity may not understand that others dress because they are compelled by their fetish. It's a distinction without a difference. The implication in Lorileah's statement is that feminine identity dressers are compelled to dress but fetish dressers aren't compelled, they just choose to dress for sexual kicks. Too many identity dressers use this ploy to legitimize their dressing by trying to make pleasure dressers feel cheap.
A fetish isn't something you play or something you're into - it's something you have. The presence of an item - say, high heels, or a sissy dress - can cause arousal if you have a fetish for it. And just because you want a sissy dress doesn't mean you have a fetish for them. I have a maid's outfit and a Japanese schoolgirl saiolr uniform that I like to wear, but I don't have a fetish for them. I have a fetish for high heels. I know the difference.
An extreme fetish is where a person cannot get aroused without that certain item present.
It's all good if kept under control whether your drive is pleasure or identity.
Save your money and buy a nice frilly sissy dress. And enjoy wearing it.

[Stephanie47]

You may want to sound out your wife about wearing one for Halloween. I think they can look rather sweet on a slim small bodied male, but, er.. a husky overweight guy-not so much.

[squiffle2002]

I wear regular women's clothes as well as sissy dresses when the occassion takes me, they satisfy different sides of my desire to crossdress. I do have some objection to the fetish label - not because it is seen as primarily a sexual thing - it is a motivation but not the sole one - but that somehow my crossdressing is less valid than someone elses dressing as they dress to pass or have 'real' feminine leanings.

Having a sissy fetish - 'On the TG spectrum this is what most women fear' I'm not convinced about this I think my SO would be much more fearful of me declaring I want a sex change (not that I do or would ever - I am very happy being a male who enjoys wearing women's clothing on occassion)

[Lorileah]

I wear regular women's clothes as well as sissy dresses when the occassion takes me, they satisfy different sides of my desire to crossdress. I do have some objection to the fetish label - not because it is seen as primarily a sexual thing - it is a motivation but not the sole one - but that somehow my crossdressing is less valid than someone elses dressing as they dress to pass or have 'real' feminine leanings. Did anyone say it is less valid? You and Nicole jumped on that. Maybe because it is close to your heart? In fact I said it was part of the whole spectrum and I asked if it was something that filled a sexual need and then addressed the question
Also, I was wondering how SO's seem to deal with sissy dresses. My wife seems okay with me wanting to wear women's clothes, but this just seems like a whole other level. Any advice? She asked if it was over the top. Interesting that no GG's have responded to the direct question isn't it? Maybe we need to post that to them?


Having a sissy fetish - 'On the TG spectrum this is what most women fear' I'm not convinced about this I think my SO would be much more fearful of me declaring I want a sex change (not that I do or would ever Read the answer, I didn't say it was the the MOST feared, I said most fear it. Read what GG's say when they come here, they believe that it is sexual and that one of the things they fear is that their SO won't be able to function with out it. And no one said it was anything less in anyone's eyes. I even said it is on the spectrum. But the question was if the OP's SO would find it over the top. I merely provided my view of this. The OP didn't ask permission to wear it, I don't care. They asked if the SO would be OK with it.

The OP even addressed it in another post later. They were not offended. Why are you and Nicole?

[Ressie]

There was a sissy maid chat site about 12 years ago that I used to go to. What I gather is the lifestyle includes being trained by a master or dom type. There is also online sissy training I believe. After the training you look for a job as a live in maid and will serve sexually as well as keeping the house in order.

Since you're married, your wife may at least like the part where you'll be doing all the domestic chores! But others just like the fetish of the frilly stuff.

[MsJanessa]

Over the top is probably a good way of describing it. This is a fetish. Are you into fetish? Is your wife? Is dressing part of your sexual play? On the TG spectrum this is what most women fear. Where it isn't something you do because you feel you have to, but you wear it because it makes you sexually aroused. If you and your wife are not sexual fetish players I can see your wife going from OK to "OH HELL NO!" in 60 seconds

Many wives would be more willing to accept a cross dressing fetish as long as it stays in the bedroom than a husband who wants to live full time as a woman or even go out in public as one.

[Taylor186]

I can't believe all the ruffles and puffy sleeves and the crazy poofy skirts. So over the top feminine!!

I guess we think of "feminine" differently. I can assure you my wife finds nothing "feminine" about sissy clothing. How many "feminine" women do you know that have sissy clothing in their closet?

[Crissy Kay]

Well, you could try a french maid type outfit for halloween. It may be sissy enough, if you add some petticoats. Like the other posters have said, try Ebay, etc. I would start small, then work you way up, as long as your wife goes along with it. Good Luck!!

[NathalieX66]

Sissy dresses are a whole other level. They are primarily fetish. My opinion of these outfits is they specifically made for fun and a good time. The birth gender can go both ways, and the market specifically caters to all. You have to see what your wife is agreeable to, and on what terms.

My girl side of me wants nothing to do with it, she (me) just wants to socialize with people , shop , and wine & dine, and just be a typical woman out & about. The sissy stuff stays at home, except for Halloween, and doing obnoxiously cheesy videos on youtube for the sheer reason of killing my job related stress.

There are cheap & really cheap looking sissy dresses.

Then there are really well made ones. My favorites on ebay are Anne Marie's , Leanne's Pretty Dresses, BarbaraTam (BBT). Type sissy dress, and make sure you start at the highest price ones....that way, they're more fun to "ebay window shop".

Sweet lolita (not goth lolita) dresses are also fun, and very affordable.

[Beverley Sims]

An interesting thread I think I have learned something as well.
So much good advice I haven't anything to add except that they are all good for Halloween.

[Jenniferathome]

Go with your gut...it is another level and not a good one.

[NathalieX66]

Go with your gut...it is another level and not a good one.

You're right, Jennifer......I have been destroyed for eternity. My life looks like of one of those characters in the painting called Hell II by Hieronymus Bosch. Don't be like me, and be denied Eternal Life in the Kingdom of Heaven®

[larry]

Sorry everyone but I cannot resist my original thought as I read the title on this thread "I want to go sissy, can anyone offer advice? "----(call me ) hehehe


I'm a little confused by this a bit I think. I have recently found sissy dresses online. I was looking at lolita dresses and came across some sissy dresses. I can't believe all the ruffles and puffy sleeves and the crazy poofy skirts. So over the top feminine!! They look so beautiful!!! I was wondering where I could buy some for cheap that still look beautiful. Also, I was wondering how SO's seem to deal with sissy dresses. My wife seems okay with me wanting to wear women's clothes, but this just seems like a whole other level. Any advice?

[Joanna Maguire]

I love my French maid uniform Of course I have to do all the house work as my wife is my boss

[ReineD]

Also, I was wondering how SO's seem to deal with sissy dresses. My wife seems okay with me wanting to wear women's clothes, but this just seems like a whole other level. Any advice?

Speaking for myself, I would not like it if my SO wanted to dress this way. I am attracted to people who know who they are and who present themselves accordingly, no matter what is their gender identity in relation to their biological sex. In other words, I am fully supportive of my SO's need to express her feminine self since this is who she is.

But, she is primarily an adult and not a six year old child. Although I see the value in some people's needs to regress in order to work through unresolved childhood issues, this is not a condition that I seek in a partner with whom I wish to be in an equal relationship, adult to adult, no matter the gender presentation. If my SO were not dualgender, if s/he identified strictly as a male and had no desire to express femininity, I would not like it if he got into "adult babies" with diapers, a pacifier, and a rattle. If she wanted to get into role play, then I would prefer an adult role play vs. a child.

But, that's just me and what I personally look for in a partner.

Getting back to feminine presentation, the other thing that bothers me about this (for someone that I am in a relationship with ... anyone else can do as they please with no judgment from me), is the representation of a female as an exaggerated, pouffy creature clad in over-the-top lace and silk, giving the impression that her purpose in life is to be vacuous and sit pretty. This is not a contemporary way of raising little girls, and there is no way that I would ever dress my own daughter like this.

Another thing that I find disturbing as a SO (speaking strictly about my SO dressing this way) is the fetish aspect if there is a sexual motive to this. Different things float people's boats, and if a person is single and gets their kicks this way then all the power to them. But as a partner in our sexual relationship, I would not like it if my SO sourced his sexual excitement from a scenario that was outside of our relationship, no matter what the fetish might be. I would only enjoy a fetish if I were into it equally, if for example we were both into bondage or BDSM. But, I cannot see myself enjoying the sexual aspect of being a mommy or another little girl to my partner as a little girl.

Sorry if this seems harsh, but you did ask about how SOs might look at this. Your SO might not look at it this way at all, however. You should ask her.

[MuzzledJ]

http://www.sissymaidoutfits.com/
http://www.thesissystore.com/sissy-dress

Thanks for the link, some beautiful dresses... I enjoy dressing and feel comfortable in female clothes. I also enjoy fetishes, without a future partner obliged to some of these, would make it awkard to say the least. Starting to understand a little more why im single :-p.
Good luck and i hope it works out for ya

[NicoleScott]

I'm not offended, Lorileah, I'm just pointing out statements you made that I believe are incorrect.
1) the OP's desire for a sissy dress may not be a fetish, as you stated it was.
2) that some dress because they feel they have to and fetish dressers dress for sexual kicks does imply a more valid reason (what else could you mean?).
3) I agree with squiffle: most women would think that a husband that dresses for sexual pleasure far less scary than one who feels like a woman inside, wished he had been born female, wants to transition, etc.

[Meghan]

3) I agree with squiffle: most women would think that a husband that dresses for sexual pleasure far less scary than one who feels like a woman inside, wished he had been born female, wants to transition, etc.

Hmmm, I wonder about this.

I think most women that don't accept either view are more likely to live with something that can be chalked up as "another fetish". I think that's an easier way to understand because fetishes are a common experience that most people have dealt with at some level or another.

True gender disorientation is not as universally shared, on average. It's a much deeper discussion and takes a lot of new thinking and reliance on explanations vs. experience. In other words, someone who doesn't want to get involved would probably rather deal with a fetish. However, someone who does want to get involved, who is interested in the roots of human behavior and is interested in pushing boundaries might prefer dealing with something possibly more complicated than "just another fetish".

To sum it up, fetishes might be less threatening to the "lay person" so therefore preferred. Once the behaviors transcend a sexual motivation, that might be too much for someone who isn't interested in exploring and would rather keep things DADT.

Not to minimize the sexual side, by the way, it's the most powerful human driver in existence. Stronger than the need to sleep and eat...sexuality is a core motivator. Does this mean that dismissing crossdressing as a sexual fetish minimizes the sex drive as a behavior enhancer? I think so.

Meghan

[Thera Home]

I'm a little confused by this a bit I think. I have recently found sissy dresses online. I was looking at lolita dresses and came across some sissy dresses.

What is a sissy dress? Why do you call them sissy dresses? Im just curious.

Thera

[LilSissyStevie]

3) I agree with squiffle: most women would think that a husband that dresses for sexual pleasure far less scary than one who feels like a woman inside, wished he had been born female, wants to transition, etc.

My favorite mode of CDing is over the top, off the scale, ultra feminine, Marie Antoinette meets Little Bo Peep meets Divine. My wife has no problem with my "fetish" but I'm sure she wouldn't want to deal with my thinking I was a woman. As far as the fetish debate goes, I've come to see that all sexual arousal is fetishistic. ALL. In the same way that you don't get to choose your gender identity, you don't get to choose your fetishes (AKA sexual orientation.) You only choose to express them or suppress them. The fact that the majority of people have the heterosexual penis-in-vagina fetish (me included sometimes) doesn't mean it is the only valid way to express the sexual urge. The problem is when there is a unbridgable mismatch between the fetish complexes of partners. Most of the time there's some overlap and these things can be worked out to a certain extent. But sometimes not. Then it's time to move on.

[NathalieX66]

Has anyone heard of the British artist named Grayson Perry? He won the Turner prize, married a woman that is a therapist and has two teenage daughters.

[Ressie]

What is a sissy dress? Why do you call them sissy dresses? Im just curious.

Thera

Google it and hit 'images' to see plenty of pics. If you get Sissy Spacek photos, that's not it!

[ReineD]

... most women would think that a husband that dresses for sexual pleasure far less scary than one who feels like a woman inside, wished he had been born female, wants to transition, etc.

This is true ... to a degree.

There have been countless stories here of wives who are OK with a bit of kinky dress up in the bedroom (garters, corsets, heels) in the beginning of their relationships, but who put the brakes on when they realize that the desires are deeper and their husbands actually want to wear wigs, makeup, breast forms, real clothes, and maybe even go out in public! It does take some wives quite a while (and some never get there), to understand that their husband's feminine expression is more than just wanting to be a bit kinky in bed.

But, this I think would be way over the top for most SOs, even if the goal is to just dress like this in the bedroom:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdNBljSZoMI

[NathalieX66]

Reine, I agree with you.....to a degree.
It always amazes and shocks me the extreme people go through with tattoos and piercings....Kat Von D is pretty tame.

[NicoleScott]

Reine, no argument that some wives are freaked out by the increasing kink of their husbands. I like the sissy dress in the video, but wouldn't go out in it (well, there is Halloween). For me, it would be for private wear only. I like the sissy dress but don't have a fetish for them. It's OK if a woman can't get into their man's fetish, but the fetish won't go away.
The parallel to this is the crossdresser who dresses because "it just feels right", all girly inside, feminine identity, etc. and wants to take it beyond what a partner accepts as "just dressup". More time spent en femme, hormones, facial and body femininity enhancements, etc.
In one case, a woman whose guy has a weird crossdressing-related kink. In the other, a woman thinking she's losing her man.

[ReineD]

I agree, Nicole. Once HRT comes into play, which fundamentally transforms a husband's body and sexual functioning, it's a whole different ballgame for hetero GGs. It takes a very special GG to stay in a relationship with a partner who lives full-time as a woman and/or has transitioned either chemically or with SRS.

That said, my SO identifies as dualgender, meaning that her feminine expression is not fetish. There is no sexual aspect to my SO's cross-gender expression. S/he fundamentally is a biological male who has an internal gender identity that is more feminine than the average male, but not feminine enough to want to go the full route, alter his body, and live full time as a woman. Call it a milder form of gender dysphoria, if you will, with no desire to chemically alter the body. If society did not insist on people being either male or female, if it was accepted to present as a combination of feminine and masculine, this would be ideal for my SO. But, since it isn't, he lives by society's rules and switches back and forth in terms of presentation only. He does keep his body shaved though, his hair is long (tied at the nape when not presenting as a woman), and the fingernails are also on the longish side. This enables him to reach an internal balance, and still play by society's rules.

I'm OK with this. :)

[Lorileah]

So now I am confused. Would the OP's SO be freaked out by the OP wearing a little girl dress?

From my person experience (which is MY personal experience and not the OP's...so for what it is worth), the two women in my world didn't mind me wearing "street" clothes but they both balked at maid costumes. Of course everyone is different, the OP's SO may love having someone to dress up. From my perspective that was the question. Would an otherwise accepting (to some point) SO be freaked by the OP wearing a Alice in Wonderland type dress. I think they would. Maybe not, maybe they would see it as a way to keep the OP at home? My opinion is that the majority of even accepting women would be a little reticent when role play comes in (yes I know it is all role playing but you get the idea). It is probably because I am too involved in the fetish community and my view is skewed.

[ReineD]

So now I am confused. Would the OP's SO be freaked out by the OP wearing a little girl dress?

As a SO, I can't say that I'd be freaked out (I don't freak out easily), but I would not like it ... see my post #26.

[Asche]

Also, I was wondering how SO's seem to deal with sissy dresses. My wife seems okay with me wanting to wear women's clothes, but this just seems like a whole other level. Any advice?
Have you tried talking to her about your desires?

She's really the only one who can tell you whether she'll be freaked out or thrilled by your wishes, or somewhere in between. She's a human being, not a potted plant, and humans are all over the map. However wise ReineD or anybody else is, they can't do any better than random chance at predicting how your wife will feel.

I get the impression from the posts at this site that a lot of men here don't actually talk very much with their wives or SOs about what is really important to them. I'm not sure how they interact -- do they just play a role, and hide anything that doesn't fit? I couldn't live that way. In fact, the underlying reason why I finally left my wife almost a decade ago was that we could not talk, even after something like 10 years of marriage counselling.

cactussteve, I won't say it wouldn't be risky to talk about this stuff with your wife. She might get upset. In the long run, you might break up. (But that might happen anyway, regardless of what you do.) If you bring your desires out in the open with her, she's likely to react in a way that isn't what you may have fantasized, and it may change your relationship both to her and to your fantasy. Possibly for the worse.

Personally, I think it's worth the risk, but then, those are my values: I hate hiding, I'd rather know the worst sooner rather than later, and I prefer a modest reality to a glorious fantasy. YMMV.

[Marleena]

Also, I was wondering how SO's seem to deal with sissy dresses. My wife seems okay with me wanting to wear women's clothes, but this just seems like a whole other level. Any advice?

I highlighted what concerns me. Since she seems okay with it, why not show her some dresses on your computer that you like and get her reaction first?

[ReineD]

However wise ReineD or anybody else is, they can't do any better than random chance at predicting how your wife will feel.

Precisely. I can only give my own opinion as regards my own SO, and this is why I suggested to Steve, to ask his wife.

[SophiaBlaze]

I love to be a naughty sissy... :)

If it feels good do it!

:)

[AmyGaleRT]

I showed one of those sites with the sissy dresses on it to my fiancee. She said, "No." Which is good, as they really don't do anything for me anyway, but I wanted a second opinion. (Well, one of them might be cute to wear. Once. But they're horribly impractical, and probably wouldn't flatter my figure at all. :) )

cactussteve, I would suggest you do the same thing for your wife, see what she thinks. But don't be surprised if her reaction is similar to my fiancee's. :D

- Amy

[NathalieX66]

Amy, I suspect your wife has probably caught on to the whole sissy maid thing, the red flag went up,and she probably said no thanks. That's a very distinct subculture. It's not my bag either. Oh, well, to each to his/her own.

Here's my long-winded story, I thought I'd share it with you. I came out to myself about almost 4 years, ago, as a latent midlife crossdresser..... transgender, as so many of us do in the middle of our lives. Most of those years prior was me in denial since age six. It just so happened that my dad owned a children's clothing store in a booming suburb of a major city. That's when I got acclimated to these frilly little girls' dresses, and in my mind, felt that I was missing out on something. The fact that when girls wore these dresses got a profuse amount of attention and adoration really made me feel like I was missing out on something. So, after a couple of decades passing by, one day I decided to confront my desire to wear female clothes and understand myself better, I decided to hit the bull on the head with the most extreme thing I can think of, in order to find a resolution....which happened to be these frilly little girls' dresses.

I had a long conversation about this with a dear friend of mine, who happens to be transsexual (legal name change, surgeries, HRT, the whole bit), and she was telling me that when you're deprived of something for so long, it tends to build up, and manifests itself in our minds in the most extreme way over time. I agree with that. Fetishes tend to go for the extreme.....that's why they're fetishes.

Now, going back to my coming out a few years ago, and the subsequent effects of "finding myself", I really couldn't understand myself, so explored the girly-girl sissy stuff along the way, I discovered that I had two sides of me : the feminine side of me that likes to be the average woman that likes to dress, shop, dine, and do social activities, and be me. That's my transgender side. The girly-girl sissy side of me was me yearning for an experience I was deprived of, and given the amount of resources today , a chance to have fun in an artsy creative way. It's actually more G-rated than X-rated. I hope I can offer some insight here, and if a psychologist was interested in laying out all the details of the whats & why's, I'd be open to it. In the mean time, I'm happy to get a pedicure, and show off a pair of shoes like the next woman.

Here's me at a Halloween party last year:

[lingerieLiz]

To each their own!