That's just wrong!

[Jennifer W]

Had a very strange occurance last night. Our mid-twentys daughter lives with us and left her laundry in the dryer. I took it out and the very last item I removed were a pair of panties exactly like ones I wear from VS.

I brought the laundry up from the basement and chuckled out loud to my wife about how they matched mine. She had a disgusted look on her face and said "that's just wrong!" It isn't my fault we have matching undies and I don't check with her to see what she's wearing. As far as I know, she has no idea I wear panties. My wife kind of stewed about it for a bit, and I'm not sure what is happening from here but I hope everything is okay.

[linda allen]

After you've been married for a while you learn when to keep your mouth shut. Look at this as a learning experience.

[Miriam-J]

You have to adapt to your wife's sensitivities, but my wife would just laugh and shake her head.

Miriam

[Jennifer W]

Linda, I thought I knew my wife well enough after 29 years to think she would do just what Miriam said; laugh.

[Stephanie47]

I'll go with "keep your mouth shut." It sounds like your wife is not as comfortable with your dressing as you think.

[docrobbysherry]

Personally, if I was doing the wash and found my teen daughter wore the same brand/color of undies as mine, I'd switch brands/colors immediately. Never mind, "wrong"! I'm more worried about, "mistake"!

[Leslie Langford]

You're wife was absolutely correct, and in the eyes of most people, wearing the same brand/type of undies as your daughter is downright creepy, even if buying them for yourself was completely coincidental. And frankly, you can stand on your head and spit nickels or put your hand in the fire and people still won't believe that this was purely by accident.

Some things are best left unsaid, and this was one of them. And if you really had to share this discovery, then at least do it here among friends who understand you, your crossdressing, and some of the rituals, drivers and experiences that go with it. The general public often doesn't, so why put yourself in that position? Most people possess some type of filter where the brain says "Stop!" when the motor starts revving and before they pop the clutch to put their mouth in gear...

[Lorileah]

It was wrong. Your daughter is twenty something and she needs to be more responsible when sharing a dryer.

Not knowing the style of underwear I guess that may be the impetus for this? Really at your age should you wear a thong? Maybe your wife is concerned that your daughter is wearing granny panties? That WOULD be wrong.

[Chickhe]

Why is your daughter wears old lady panties?! That's just wrong! Seriously though, if you want your daughter to go back to the white cotton ones just show her yours!

[Wildaboutheels]

I must be reading this thread incorrectly. I simply do not see a problem. AT ALL. Much ado about nothing. Underwear or socks. Or anything else. It's ONLY clothing.

[Leslie Langford]

Sure, until there is an accidental switcheroo, and Dad ends up wearing Daughter's previously worn undies or vice versa. Majorly creepy...

O.K. - this may be a stretch, but that does invoke images of incest in my mind...:eek: :sad: :doh: :thumbsdn:

[Confetti]

Sigh some women pretend it's ok, but I think she might read other things to what you intended. I think its funny but would exclaim thats just wrong if they were knees length bloomers and she had a pair too.

[Jennifer W]

Oh my! I didn't think this would cause such a stir! Let me elaborate. My daughter had been living with her boyfriend and they split up. She moved back. She has certain days to do laundry. she left stuff in the dryer. I took it out and the last item was a pair of panties from VS. Hiphuggers. Same pattern as mine. My wife knows what I wear. She usually does our laundry. She has had no objections. She folds them and puts them in my drawer. No complaints. I have no idea what my daughter wears for underwear as I never see them. Ever. It was a freak thing she left stuff in the dryer. she's usually good about removing her clothes on our laundry days. I don't wear thongs or granny panties. There was nothing else I noticed that resembled any of my underwear. Just the one pair. There is no potential for mix-up that I can see.

[AllieSF]

Yeah Leslie, that is quite a stretch. It is not creepy unless dear old Dad purposely bought the same as his daughter. From what I understand that did not happen and it is just a coincidence. Those that think it creepy probably think that men dressed in women's clothing is creepy too. So to them, all of us MtF CD's here are creepy too. So be it. Now mentioning it to the wife can backfire as this one did. But, we poor readers here really do not know all that much about their relationship, especially where the CDing comes in. This is clearly a live and learn situation.

[angpai30]

Ok, you have to think about it from a womans point of view really because if you don't you will never understand it. OK, so you just got done pulling your daughters clothes out of the dryer and you by chance notice that you are wearing the same panties. You come upstairs and inform me that your daughter and you are wearing the same panties and how cool it is. OK, so first of all Ew... Gross you are looking through your daughters clothes and you are what? wearing the same panties? hmmm.... what else are you doing that I don't know about. It is kind of perverted that "HE" is wearing the same kind of panties that "OUR" daughter is wearing. Who knows maybe he is stealing her panties or maybe she is stealing "Her" or "His" panties and wearing them which to be honest... I would probably think you were stealing her panties and wearing them even if it was the other way around at first thought. So proclaiming this to your wife was probably not the smartest thing to do as I myself would be grossed out by such a statement and look at you weird and funny for the next couple of days as I was trying to figure things out from that statement. Even if you did sit down with me and try to explain things and how you found her panties and blah blah blah that still would not be good enough for me. All I know you may be trying to get into the clear with an explanation and thus digging yourself into a deeper hole, which by then you would probably be so deep things would start to get rocky. So my advice don't EVER state you are wearing the same panties as someone else unless they know you would never do such a thing no matter how long you may have been married or known each other there are still those people who have different backgrounds and who knows maybe your wife was molested at a younger age and just by you saying that brought back unwanted memories. You have to think of the reprocussions that this may have brought just by one statement. Especially, if your wife is already un-accepting of your dressing you might of well just shot yourself in the foot while you were at it. IMO you just stuck your foot in your mouth and I don't know how to help you recover so I can't even give you any advice.

Angela

[~Joanne~]

I can't imagine that VS has a whole ton of selection when it comes to colors or designs when they mass produce things for their shelves. So Jennifer and her daughter could end up with a pair or two of the same style and pattern since they both shop at VS apparently. It seems that yes, most have taken this thread out of context. She went to empty the dryer and pulled everything out to find that her daughter has the same taste in clothing. nothing more, nothing less.

She didn't go on and on about getting "turned on" by it or anything so it's just one of those things. Mind you, HAD she gone on about them in all kinds of freaky ways then yes, that most certainly is beyond creepy but she didn't. A harmless observation followed by a joke isn't creepy. Plus she never said ANYTHING about trying them on.

Geez.....

[angpai30]

I know she didn't, but she didn't have to say it in order for "People" to think it. People are tricky to figure out sometimes and it doesn't really matter what you say people will "Assume" that, that is what you did or probably will do later. Its like women and their pre-meditated conversations. I actually have always pre-meditated my conversations with others on how it will go, what they will say, what I will say and get out of the conversation what I want out of the conversation. Even though nothing was said about such an act people are people and they will think what they want to think! No matter whether we agree with it or not. You can't reason with someone who doesn't want to be reasoned with no matter how you try.

Angela

[Marleena]

Triggers..

Even accepting spouses have things that rub them the wrong way. Jennifer she probably got grossed out by the thought of the father and the daughter having the same panties. Some things are better off not being said. Lesson learned, I think.:)

[Melissa73]

ok, so ive read this thread. And wheere i can see how it can be taken wrong, i can't help but see the funny too. As i can flash back on a similiar situation. It was back before i married my wife, and i'd visit her at her mom's house. (MY wife has a teen daughter) And they had left clean clothes in the open, on a chair. And i couldn't help but notice her daughter had the same bra as i had!

Now its not perverted, or gross! I didn't do anything but see the bra. But it makes you think hard, and then laugh... maybe we had the same taste in clothing.

[Annaliese]

At least she did not borrow you panties now that would be wrong

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I don't see the problem, my wife always tells me I have nicer panties than her and she is right. I like my satin string bikini panties and wear them always, size 6 thank you so much. I could care less what my daughters wear, as long as it's not my panties.

[Barbara Ella]

Lots of perspectives here. Another one. What mother wants to be wearing the same panties as their younger daughter? That thought could also be going through her mind, any parent wearing the same panties as their child. Men won't see a problem with their sons, but I think it might be more likely to rise among women.

Barbara

[Jennifer W]

I didn't really mean to create such a problem. I simply pointed out the fact that my wife thought it was wrong, but I thought it was funny. Nothing more. I buy all my panties at VS and that's it. I wear what I wear and my wife approves, but what I thought was funny, wasn't. Everyone here is reading more into this than I intended. I guess I learned my lesson with my wife and here.

[Jamie Ann]

I didn't really mean to create such a problem. I simply pointed out the fact that my wife thought it was wrong, but I thought it was funny. Nothing more. I buy all my panties at VS and that's it. I wear what I wear and my wife approves, but what I thought was funny, wasn't. Everyone here is reading more into this than I intended. I guess I learned my lesson with my wife and here.

Whether one thinks something is “just plain wrong” depends a lot on the associations they make. I noticed in the latest catalog I received from Victoria’s Secret that one of the advertised items was described as “Lace-trim Cheeky Panties—Sexy Little Things” (their precise words). Probably many people think of Victoria’s Secret and its merchandise as very sexually provocative, things a woman might wear if she planned to spend the night with her boyfriend and (she hopes) have sexual relations with him that evening. If that idea reflects the way your wife thinks about Victoria’s Secret and its merchandise, then it certainly is understandable that juxtaposing the ideas of “sexual excitement” and “father-daughter relationship” would seem terribly wrong.

You presumably didn’t mean your comments that way — to you they were just about a funny discovery — but your wife’s reaction was a spontaneous response to what seemed to her to be juxtaposing two concepts that she thought should not go together. Judgments of “just plain wrong” stem from the associations the judger sees or infers (rightly or wrongly). Communication is not always perfect! :sad:

[Wildaboutheels]

Good grief...

There must obviously be countless folks here that somehow think underwear is what the world revolves around and is somehow sacred. Possibly more important than Global Warming, World famine and just WHEN the next asteroid might hit earth, combined?

[Leslie Langford]

Point taken, Jennifer, and while you may feel that your original post was misinterpreted and you have emerged from this encounter slightly bruised by all the negative feedback, it did serve one useful purpose. It opened up a dialog concerning the sharing of clothing by us CDers with family members in general, and around which there are many unspoken taboos.

If it is done with the full knowledge and approval of one's wife, girlfriend, or SO, then more power to the two parties involved, and knock yourselves out. But if it is done without the other person's knowledge or permission and if family members are involved - especially children - then that's a whole different matter and the creep factor comes into play.

This topic has been discussed many times in these forums, and it has generally been acknowledged as being a "no fly zone" and a potential deal-breaker in an otherwise solid relationship. Some lines one simply does not cross, and for many women this is one of them. It may be an irrational over-reaction in some peoples' minds, but it is what it is.

The consensus in our community seems to be "don't borrow; get your own", especially if one is tempted to surreptitiously try on or borrow someone else's clothes when the opportunity arises - and even more so when lingerie or other types of underwear or intimate clothing are involved.

[NatieBe]

OMG..PLZ...lighten up! Sounds like good taste(VS) runs in the family...Oh Well...Hey..is that a comet coming this way ??

[Angela Campbell]

I agree...Thats just wrong.....You should not have had to finish her laundry for her. She is quite old enough to do so herself and leaving clothes in the dryer was thoughtless.

[Sandra1746]

My wife recently appropriated, by mistake, a pair of my panties. She couldn't understand why they were so uncomfortable until she checked the size.

I wear a smaller size than she does and that does annoy her.

Another example of "getting your knickers in a knot".

Don't sweat the small stuff,
Sandra1746

[Silentpartner GG SO]

ok here's a GG perspective - I dont think it was creepy, or ikky or anything like that - it was a coincidence - nothing more - but mentioning it to the wife was one of those occasions when its better to say nothing - there are definately things that are better off not being said.

[Roberta Marie]

Leslie,

The OP has stated several times now, that no one borrowed anybody's anything. Daughter has her own undies, father has her own undies. They just, by coincidence, match.

[Roberta Marie]

Reminds me of a situation a few years ago. With 5 kids that all take their shoes off inside the front door, we ended up getting a plastic bin and all of the shoes go in it. One day I was rummaging through the bin looking for a pair of my old shoes to mow the lawn when I started to chuckle. My wife asked me what was so funny and I held up one of our younger daughter's pumps, and said, "You know how you always say that Christi (our oldest daughter) has more of your taste in clothes, and Jess (our younger daughter) has more of mine?" My wife looked perplexed. So I went upstairs to our closet and returned with an identical shoe, but in my size. My wife rolled her eyes, then chuckled, too.

This occured before I was out to any of our children. After I was out to them, I mentioned this story to our daughters. Our youngest said, "I don't know if I inhertied your taste in clothes, but I know that I inherited your big feet. I got those shoes more so because they fit than I liked them," and started to laugh. My older daughter, who is less than accepting, just rolled her eyes and said, "That's just wrong."

[Jennifer W]

Point taken, Jennifer, and while you may feel that your original post was misinterpreted and you have emerged from this encounter slightly bruised by all the negative feedback, it did serve one useful purpose. It opened up a dialog concerning the sharing of clothing by us CDers with family members in general, and around which there are many unspoken taboos.

If it is done with the full knowledge and approval of one's wife, girlfriend, or SO, then more power to the two parties involved, and knock yourselves out. But if it is done without the other person's knowledge or permission and if family members are involved - especially children - then that's a whole different matter and the creep factor comes into play.

This topic has been discussed many times in these forums, and it has generally been acknowledged as being a "no fly zone" and a potential deal-breaker in an otherwise solid relationship. Some lines one simply does not cross, and for many women this is one of them. It may be an irrational over-reaction in some peoples' minds, but it is what it is.

The consensus in our community seems to be "don't borrow; get your own", especially if one is tempted to surreptitiously try on or borrow someone else's clothes when the opportunity arises - and even more so when lingerie or other types of underwear or intimate clothing are involved.

I'm very confused by this. Where did I say the underwear was borrowed? I must have missed what I said. I said they were the SAME STYLE SAME BRAND.
I didn't borrow anything nor will I. Especially from my daughter. This seems to be getting way out of hand.

I thought it was funny and my wife didn't. Now I know not to mention matching underwear with her ever again.

[Leslie Langford]

ok here's a GG perspective - I dont think it was creepy, or ikky or anything like that - it was a coincidence - nothing more - but mentioning it to the wife was one of those occasions when its better to say nothing - there are definately things that are better off not being said.

Mixed signals here, SP GG SO...

On one hand, you say that personally, you don't think that Jennifer's take on this incident was "creepy, or ikky or anything like that - it was a coincidence - nothing more..." yet at the same time, you acknowledge that Jennifer's wife might have had a problem with the matching father/daughter panties and that Jennifer would have been better served if she had just kept her observations to herself. So if not creepy, then what, in your estimation?


Leslie,

The OP has stated several times now, that no one borrowed anybody's anything. Daughter has her own undies, father has her own undies. They just, by coincidence, match.

I realize that, Roberta, and Jennifer has already made it clear that she wasn't casting a covetous eye on her daughter's undies; she was just bemused by the fact that she had just found out the two of them obviously had similar tastes in panties and an equal fondness for the VS brand of intimates.

I was just extrapolating this out into a future scenario where there might be a possible mix-up between the undies one day when doing their respective laundry, and either one could wind up wearing the other one's panties. Whether this then happened by accident or design, it could still potentially introduce the "creep" factor into the equation.


I'm very confused by this. Where did I say the underwear was borrowed? I must have missed what I said. I said they were the SAME STYLE SAME BRAND.
I didn't borrow anything nor will I. Especially from my daughter. This seems to be getting way out of hand.

I thought it was funny and my wife didn't. Now I know not to mention matching underwear with her ever again.

Understood, Jennifer. See my reply to Roberta above.

Still, this caused your wife to get into a funk. Have you had a good talk with her in the meantime, and has she actually said what in particular about this episode bothered her the most? We can all make our own assumptions here, but ultimately, she is the only one who can best articulate what part of this upset her the most.

[ReineD]

My wife kind of stewed about it for a bit, and I'm not sure what is happening from here but I hope everything is okay.

It'll probably be OK. But, I've got to say that it's impossible for us to understand what exactly motivates a CDer to want to dress. Although I accept it fully in my own SO, I have no way of developing an innate sense of his motives, since I am not a crossdresser. Frankly, he cannot tell me what motivates him either other than say it is a part of him.

In view of this, I think in the future it might be best to avoid putting the words, "panties, daughter, same, myself" in the same sentence. It just sounds too weird.

[sometimes_miss]

There is no potential for mix-up that I can see.
Famous last words. Riiiiggggghhhhhht.
It's just a pair of panties. Throw yours out. no reason to tempt fate. As far as two different generations wearing the same style of sexy undergarments, well, most young women would be mortified to find they are wearing the same style as a women twice their age, much less a guy. I remember GF's throwing out pieces of clothing after finding out that their mom's could/did wear them. They felt that if their mom wore them, they were automatically 'old lady' clothes.

[Jorja]

Well Jennifer, look at it this way. At least you know your daughter is wearing panties. :)

[Jennifer W]

Famous last words. Riiiiggggghhhhhht.
It's just a pair of panties. Throw yours out. no reason to tempt fate. As far as two different generations wearing the same style of sexy undergarments, well, most young women would be mortified to find they are wearing the same style as a women twice their age, much less a guy. I remember GF's throwing out pieces of clothing after finding out that their mom's could/did wear them. They felt that if their mom wore them, they were automatically 'old lady' clothes.

Her leaving her laundry in the dryer was a fluke. She usually is on top of it, but was running late for an appointment and I happened to come along. Her laundry is totally seperated.


Jennifer W, I also thought it was funny-PERIOD. Your wife knows all about what panties you wear, and puts them away in your drawer (just as I do for Tara). I don't understand why she said it was wrong. Have you asked her why?

I have learned she will talk about it in time.. we don't get much us time with my job and hers.

[Beverley Sims]

Making reference to your daughter like that coungers up all sorts of taboos.
I do not include any minors in my CD jokes or comments.
It can be misconstrued as pedophilia.

[UNDERDRESSER]

So many possibilites...

The idea, for me, of sharing underwear out of the same drawer with my GF, is quite a turn on. We actually do wear the same brand, and size, of panties, but different styles, i can't wear hers, but she could if she chose, wear mine, because they are stretchier.

Finding out that I wore the same brand and style as my daughter... ( don't have a daughter, but lets just pretend ) would be amusing, to me, and probably to my GF ( if she was my wife and the situation was similar ) but everyone has differnt takes. Did she mean it was wrong that you do have the same style, given the age difference? Some people haven't got used to the idea that older people still think of themselves, and are, still sexual creatures. It used to be that older people didn't, or couldn't think of themselves in that way. did she freak on the idea that you found it funny? Don't know, Unless you think there is something to be gained from this, just let it drop.

[donnatracey]

Making reference to your daughter like that coungers up all sorts of taboos.
I do not include any minors in my CD jokes or comments.
It can be misconstrued as pedophilia.

Jennifer said her daughter was in her mid 20s.....that is NOT a "minor". BTW, what is a "coungers".....:D

[Annette Todd]

if I wore the same brand tighty whiteys as a son would that be close to incest. OMG! are we getting phobic around here or what. So ya found a pair of undies in the drier BFD! Why mention it unless you wanted your wife to be sure not to make a dryer mistake too. There are just some people who get too carried away with projecting their dad/daughter fantasies onto someone else and making accusations of incest. I think we really need a reality check. Tell ya what I'll even sign it. For you Leslie to even suggest the word is what is wrong! My God! and Gee what if there was a switcheroo. They've been washed.
Jennifer,
A word to the wise, don't ever suggest telling your wife you want to out yourself to your daughter or next you'll be raising veal 'cause she'll have a cow!

[Annette Todd]

Well Jennifer, look at it this way. At least you know your daughter is wearing panties. :)

...at least once in a while!

[Silentpartner GG SO]

Mixed signals here, SP GG SO...

On one hand, you say that personally, you don't think that Jennifer's take on this incident was "creepy, or ikky or anything like that - it was a coincidence - nothing more..." yet at the same time, you acknowledge that Jennifer's wife might have had a problem with the matching father/daughter panties and that Jennifer would have been better served if she had just kept her observations to herself. So if not creepy, then what, in your estimation?

well a little bit funny, (haha that is, not funny peculiar) but not something I really want a mental image of - there are some things that dont needs talking about and I think that was one of them. Certainly no big deal though

I'm amazed at some of the responses to this thread - really OTT IMO

[Melissa73]

hey i still think its funny!!!!! but i discussing this w/ my wife... and she disagrees, that its a disgusting. But as i see it, there was nothing bad that happened! Just an innocent comment.