Self esteem is building

[Bree-asaurus]

Some of you may know of my horrible self esteem and I always feel bad that, what if I am actually pretty and here I am acting like I'm the ugliest person alive. I never wanted to be the "oh poor me" kind of person... I just never really saw what I think I'm starting to see now. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pissing people off when they give me a compliment and I don't know how to take it because I just couldn't believe it.

But I think that now that I've had some good changes from HRT and I'm putting in some good effort and presenting myself in more pretty and feminine ways than I'm used to. I've always been afraid of revealing my feminine side. Now that I've been pushing my boundaries a little more, I've been getting more compliments than usual. I've also noticed what seem to be envious stares or googly eyes from other trans folk.

I'm starting to see that maybe I am pretty and maybe I should be darn proud of it.

And I know I can't be the only one who has always been blind to the good in myself... be it looks, personality, talents, etc. I know there are a lot of us that excel in so many ways, but we just never give ourselves credit for it. We struggle so much with our identities and we become our own worst enemies.

If you have low self esteem like me, try actually listening to the compliments you receive with an open mind. They probably know better than you ;)

Tonight, I was down right smokin' and I was loving it. I didn't want to go home :D It's about time I start feeling good about myself!

[Kirsty_D]

As a loud mouthed, heavy drinking, foul mouthed rig pig I had no shortage of confidence. Sometimes way to much confidence and got myself in to many scrapes in various dives around the world.

As a woman I have it hard to come close to that but the past few days I'm feeling so much better about myself.

Confidence is a strange thing and it really shocked me the first few times I stepped out fully dressed. I felt intimidated and frightened by the men staring at me and thought I could never recover even a fraction of the confidence I previously had. However, just by keeping on keeping on... Day after day, getting up and getting out there I've managed to gain quite a bit of confidence, so much so that yesterday marked 'his' funeral when I threw out all the old clothes from my previous life.

I found that my constantly having female companions when I went out helped a lot. I had somebody to help me when I had a fashion or make up failure or tried to negotiate the ladies loos... (More complex than I though when wearing a tight skirt and pantyhose ;) )

Just keep at it and never give up, besides, none of us here a quitters :)

[Bree-asaurus]

LOL! What a bomb of a thread ;)

But also of note... sex drive increases as self esteem increases :D

[Kaitlyn Michele]

if you think about it, improving self esteem is just about the best thing that can happen for you as long as your health holds up..

It impacts everything in your life in a positive way...even your sex drive!!!

[Laurie Ann]

I always presented myself as a very confident person to the outside world but it was all a facade. The reality of my life is I am a very scared person which is impacting my life right now I hope to be able to finally get that good feeling about myself because I am constantly trying to hide my ugly self from the rest of the world. I can only dream about being anything close to a pretty woman.

[Pamela Kay]

You are pretty Bree and if you got it flaunt it!

I have lived all my life with low self esteem and never thinking I measured up or was good enough. I have found that confidence and being myself have helped my self esteem considerably. After I figured out who I was and started hormones my stress levels dropped off and I became a much happier person. A couple of my friends have told me that they knew something had changed because I seemed a lot happier and more comfortable with myself but they couldn't put their finger on it. After I came out to them they said it all made sense.

I think your getting comfortable and happy with yourself now and as a result your self esteem issues are starting to melt away.

Just my uneducated and non-professional opinion. lol

[kimdl93]

Its true for anyone with low self esteem is like a grossly distorted mirror. For the longest time, one doesn't haven't been seeing herself realistically and haven't taken genuine compliments at face value. I'm so glad that you're coming to the realization that you're a pretty, smart and capable person.

[Debglam]

If you have low self esteem like me, try actually listening to the compliments you receive with an open mind. They probably know better than you ;)

Tonight, I was down right smokin' and I was loving it. I didn't want to go home :D It's about time I start feeling good about myself!

Good for you Bree & truer words were never spoken! It breaks my heart when I see friends of mine that just can't see how beautiful they are!

And IMHO, so much of that beauty flows from the inside out! You women that have transitioned seem to want to pick apart every nuance of your being (and I can understand that) but those of us that know you SEE nothing but a beautiful woman. Please try and love yourselves!

[Kerstin]

Like you Bree I have low self esteem. I'm terrible at accepting compliments. I always feel like they're just being polite and don't really mean it. It's actually quite a difficult mindset to shake off.

[Marleena]

Bree this is great news! You are a woman so it's time to enjoy it.:) I know I do.

[Thera Home]

Bree

Your avatar...................I have escare of it:eek:

Thera

[Jorja]

Self-esteem and self-respect grow out of the experience of committed effort. Whether or not you succeed is not as important to your self-respect as when you know that you tried your best. And if you continue to make the effort, if you continue to work with your resources, you will eventually succeed. Self-mastery arises out of effort, this is success.

[melissaK]

LOL. Oh Bree! The irony of starting a thread about improving self-esteem and no one picking up the thread!
Well you've been rescued and redeemed today! :)

You're lovely witty and figuring out dresses too! Its great to hear your self esteem is heading in the right direction and catching up with what the forums girls think of you.

[Bree-asaurus]

LOL. Oh Bree! The irony of starting a thread about improving self-esteem and no one picking up the thread!
Well you've been rescued and redeemed today! :)

You're lovely witty and figuring out dresses too! Its great to hear your self esteem is heading in the right direction and catching up with what the forums girls think of you.

It's all good. I was just excited because I've never felt this good about myself, ever and just wanted to share since most of my posts are talking about how bad I feel about myself.

I just figured people thought I was gloating or something and didn't care to take part.

I've been wearing skirts and dresses a lot lately.

[Jorja]

I've been wearing skirts and dresses a lot lately.

Uh Oh, it's happening!!! Your turning into a.........girl! :)

[Barbara Ella]

I have mentioned my problems with shyness, being an introvert, and low self esteem, so i do so understand where you are coming from, both in the post, and where you are developing from in your life.

SO what did I do, I had a career lecturing everyday to the most intelligent students in the US. I had to make numerous presentations at conferences all over the world. I became good at what I did, but never quite shook the insecurities. I don't know why, but I can guess.

I now find myself feeling at times exactly like you Bree. I am happy with myself. I enjoy doing what I do. I guess this comes from being comfortable doing what I do, as I suspect you are doing, becoming more comfortable each and every day. I truly feel that with that comfort comes some answers to the insecurities. You, and I,and others that I read about, are finally really and truly doing what we were meant to be doing, and by doing more of it the insecurities will continue to dissipate.

YOU GO GIRL !

Barbara

[Bree-asaurus]

Uh Oh, it's happening!!! Your turning into a.........girl! :)

Oh no oh no oh no!!!

I'm finally used to that unprotected feeling while wearing skirts and stuff. It's pretty scary stuff at first! :P Now I just flaunt that s*** :devil:

[Anna Lorree]

Oh no oh no oh no!!!

I'm finally used to that unprotected feeling while wearing skirts and stuff. It's pretty scary stuff at first! :P Now I just flaunt that s*** :devil:

You go girl! Someday I hope to be there, too.

Anna

[Stephanie-L]

I suspect most of us have self-esteem issues probably due to the fact that we have been forced to live in a role that does not fit us for so long. I certainly do, but like you, mine are getting better. My family has noted it, I am happier with who and what I am, and the more I allow myself to drop the role playing, the better I am. You are a pretty girl, and it sounds like your life improves daily, so keep at it. Thanks for being there sister....................Stephanie

[Beverley Sims]

Those damn hormones, they mess with your mind don't they?

[Jorja]

Those damn hormones, they mess with your mind don't they?

Oh it is terrible! They will even make you a girl if you take them long enough. ;)

[Badtranny]

LOL! What a bomb of a thread ;)

I just assumed you already knew that I thought you were rad. What more could you possible want?

...some of us could probably USE a bit of a self esteem problem. ;-)

[Saffron]

It's rather difficult to not have a self esteem problem being a woman trapped in a man's body for many years.

For me the worst part of taking compliments is that I feel handicaped about dealing with them. It's too weird, feeling your internal struggle. I don't even know how to explain it :heehee:

BTW your current avatar is scary :wn: :D

[Bree-asaurus]

I just assumed you already knew that I thought you were rad. What more could you possible want?

...some of us could probably USE a bit of a self esteem problem. ;-)

I could help you out with that... you UGGO! :devil:

.
.
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I'M SORRY! I CAN'T DO IT! :( YOU'RE NOT UGGO!

[Mikaela]

I thought you were cute even before a lot of the HRT. So there's that

But yeah, I can't take compliments worth a crap. I absolutely must listen to your advice on that one. My SO and I were out last Saturday and someone complimented my dress. I just acted dumb and my GF told the poor guy that it -was- a nice dress and that I suck at taking compliments.

[kimdl93]

I thought you were cute even before a lot of the HRT. So there's that

But yeah, I can't take compliments worth a crap. I absolutely must listen to your advice on that one. My SO and I were out last Saturday and someone complimented my dress. I just acted dumb and my GF told the poor guy that it -was- a nice dress and that I suck at taking compliments.

God, do I know that feeling. It's that horrid inner voice that tries to negate anything positive sent in my direction. I've fought it all my life, usually unsuccessfully.