I came out and...

[whowhatwhen]

"You can't change who you are." - My mom, who is awesome.

Apparently she's suspected for most of my life and while she's not thrilled (as no parent would be) she understands.
It seems that not long ago my brother asked her if she thought I was transgender and her response to him was that if I was then I would say it when I was ready.

All I needed to do was clarify that gender identity != sexual orientation and the whole transgender being a spectrum thingy.
So, I feel better now that this huge weight has been lifted and I can be more honest.

[sinderella]

Congratulations Corrinne, your mother sounds like a loving and caring person. I hope that your life is limitless now with one of many hurdles crossed in your journey.

[Marleena]

Congrats on having the talk with your mom! Mom's know everything so I'm not surprised she already knew.:D

[whowhatwhen]

Congrats on having the talk with your mom! Mom's know everything so I'm not surprised she already knew.:D

Thanks :)
Yep, you can't put anything past a mom it seems. They have special powers.

[sandra-leigh]

Wow! You have made such enormous strides this last year!!

[Tracii G]

I am so happy for you.Your Mom sounds understanding.

[sonna]

that's wonderful..i wish you all the best.

[Cynthia Anne]

That really sounds great! I hope things stay that way for you! Have fun; but be careful!

[Diane Maple]

That is so wonderful!

It sounds like you mom is a sound person :)

[whowhatwhen]

Thanks all :)
This site, and seeing all of you progress so far has been a great inspiration.

Now I can be honest in what I want to do without having to resort to bizarre excuses or the classic "other men are doing it" type of things.
I'm not going to push anything very far, and I can't really since I'm still broke but honesty and openness is worth all the money in the world.

[Beverley Sims]

Now you can really go out with freedom and guidance and find out who or what you really are.
I wish you the best with such a wonderful opportunity.

[ReineD]

I don't want to tell you, "I told you so", but ...... :D :D :D

Congratulations, whowhatwhen. I'm just so happy that you feel free to be who you are at home now. :hugs:

[kimdl93]

The truth is that some of our deepest darkest secrets aren't all that secret after all. Moms know their children better than they know themselves.

[whowhatwhen]

I don't want to tell you, "I told you so", but ...... :D :D :D

Congratulations, whowhatwhen. I'm just so happy that you feel free to be who you are at home now. :hugs:


The truth is that some of our deepest darkest secrets aren't all that secret after all. Moms know their children better than they know themselves.

I think I could feel that she already knew but actually coming out to her was still pretty hard, but all in all it wasn't bad at all.
There were a few tears but she wasn't extremely upset, perhaps she's relieved in a way - even though other worries may creep in.

There hasn't been any awkwardness so far either, which I feared second most.
Today actually has been one of my better days, I got a lot accomplished and didn't waste the whole day on the computer.

I still owe her big time though, and oddly enough that's why I came out.
What happened was when I started therapy, she took out $500 from a savings account started for me which would pay for half of each session.

After she got around to accounting it, it turns out I'm ~$170 in the hole but she agreed to continue to help me pay for it in exchange for keeping up/doing more work.
I felt that if she was doing this for me it was only fair that i stopped lying to her and be honest about why I needed to see a therapist.

Basically, it went something like this:

Me: Do want to know why I see a therapist?
Mom: Is it about your sexual orientation?
Me: No, but you're getting close.
Mom: Are you transgender?
Me: Yeah.

Not at all what I was expecting or even imagined how I would tell her, but one could argue the spontaneity helped push the words out.

[LeAnne Marie]

That's great it worked out for you! Glad to hear that she is accepting, that certainly helps things. I can imagine that can be quite daunting coming out to your family like that. I shudder at the thought of it, although I know I will have to at some point.

[MaryAnn40c]

Way to go girl nice to hear your story.

[sandra-leigh]

She herself already knew something about transgenderism ? Mommy powers indeed!

[whowhatwhen]

She herself already knew something about transgenderism ? Mommy powers indeed!

She had told me a story of a boy she knew growing up who should've been born a girl, since it was around the 60s it unfortunately didn't have a happy ending.
Actually, she's told that story a few times over the years...

I did reassure her that I was not suicidal.

[Tera]

I've been having this debate myself, whether or not to tell my mom. I know that she knows, she knows I know she knows. I was there when she found all my girl stuff :P. There wasn't any exchange at all when that happened so maybe she's ok with it? I dunno. I feel like I should bring it up, but if she's already cool and understanding why run this risk of opening a bigger can of worms? Little tears or big tears I don't wanna make my mom cry :(

[whowhatwhen]

I've been having this debate myself, whether or not to tell my mom. I know that she knows, she knows I know she knows. I was there when she found all my girl stuff :P. There wasn't any exchange at all when that happened so maybe she's ok with it? I dunno. I feel like I should bring it up, but if she's already cool and understanding why run this risk of opening a bigger can of worms? Little tears or big tears I don't wanna make my mom cry :(

Shoot, I was going to respond to this yesterday.

I'm going to assume that if she didn't cause a fuss when she saw your femme stuff she won't have too big of an issue with it.
If she flipped her lid and demanded you destroy everything then that would be a different story.

I know exactly how you feel though, in the end I felt that I had to be honest with her after all she has done for me and continues to do.
If you don't feel the risk is worth taking now then don't feel bad about not coming out.

I won't lie, coming out to her was really hard and it did hurt to see her tear up a bit but I honestly believe that we're both a bit relieved by the air being cleared.

[kimdl93]

Shoot, I was going to respond to this yesterday.

I'm going to assume that if she didn't cause a fuss when she saw your femme stuff she won't have too big of an issue with it.
If she flipped her lid and demanded you destroy everything then that would be a different story.

I know exactly how you feel though, in the end I felt that I had to be honest with her after all she has done for me and continues to do.
If you don't feel the risk is worth taking now then don't feel bad about not coming out.

I won't lie, coming out to her was really hard and it did hurt to see her tear up a bit but I honestly believe that we're both a bit relieved by the air being cleared.

And that tear isn't necessarily her disappointment that her son is transgendered. It may be her empathy for he difficulty you have endured in dealing with this issue. Now that it's out in the open you can all relax and life may be better for everyone.

[Leah Lynn]

This is my last real hurdle; being honest with my mother. Last April I was in the hospital and she came to stay with my late wife. While cleaning and doing the laundry, she discovered two pairs of large high heels in the closet, and some clothing that wasn't my wife's. She didn't say anything to me, but later my wife told me about it. I'm going to a party Friday night and am considering going by and saying something like, hi, say hello to your other daughter. If it doesn't fly, I can say that it's a halloween costume. I don't want to hurt my mother.

[kristinacd55]

Wow Corinne....what a great Mom you have!! That's awesome...