Encountered a rather odd double standard...

[Violetgray]

You know how men can't wear skirts, but women can wear pants? Well who cares, because that's not what this post as about :tongueout

I was at a comedy show tonight, met a female comic that I hadn't seen in a while. We sat down to catch up, and as always, the conversation turned to Violet. She says, "You are using really good wigs now. What you should do though is go to the dominican beauty salon and get your real hair straightened there, and get your bangs cut!" I wondered if she understood the implications of that.

Then, for some reason we started talking about Tyler Perry. He's taking over the movie role of Morgan Freeman's signature detective character Alex Cross, in the movie of the same name. When this comes up, she frowns. "Oh, You mean Alex CROSSDRESSER? I swear, that man has no idea if he wants to be a man or a woman!"

::blink blink::

Then she seamlessly returned to talking about how pretty Violet was before we moved on to other topics.

What am I missing?

[Nocturnal Kaylee]

Sounds like she made an off the cuff remark. I would chalk it up to not thinking. If it'd been me I'd have said something like " a common problem". But I don't know your circumstances.

[bimini1]

I don't get it. Does she not think Madea is only a character. Does she not think Tyler Perry is capable of acting other roles besides Madea. She seemed overtly negative with the term crossdresser. Was she trying to push your buttons? Strange exchange indeed yet, in words of the immortal Spock, "fascinating".

[Rogina B]

I would have reached out with both hands and grabbed hers,looked her straight in the face and said"HELLO"...and your problem with us is?

[DonniDarkness]

Violet,

I would say she is just clueless about crossdressing. You know how when someone tries to talk about a topic they know nothing about and biffs the entire conversation.....I would say from what you have explained she was just trying really hard to have some dialog about CDing.

So i wouldnt necessarily say she was being mean spirited just more along the lines of stupid. Unless you really feel she was trying to throw in a backhanded comment.

I was in guy mode with my hair down last week and had a woman tell me " Youd be so handsome if youd cut that hair off".........

Thats a backhanded comment. But i just smiled instead of telling her "she might be pretty if she was 40 years younger".....
I wanted to take her ass to the library so bad.

But sometimes its better if we just smile thru someone else's stupidity.

-Donni-

[SherriePall]

Violet -- I think that she just does not put you into the same category. To her you are a woman. Thus the girl advice to have your own hair done rather than go through the business of wigs.

[Tina B.]

I guess I have a lot in common with Tyler, I'm not sure some days either, but I do a pretty good job of playing a man and so does Tyler, Medea is only one of his characters. After all her brother Joe is pretty masculine. I think your friend ha a lot to learn about people that assume duel roles in life. Oh, and are we sure Medea is not just a character, Tyler plays, or is he one of us, just asken'.

[sandra-leigh]

I don't catch the implications of getting your hair straightened and bangs cut?

[Beverley Sims]

I wonder,
Do you present as a woman better than Tyler Perry?

[Chickhe]

She is just explaining that you are good a crossdressing while he is not... Also, the hair is a bigger deal to us that it is to anyone else. I noticed I can cut my hair with bangs and it actually looks good side swept and covers up my male pattern...makes me look less old. ...you could spike them up too I guess.

[angpai30]

Often women exchange beauty tips!! Today someone I work with noticed that I had gotten my nails done and came up to me and said "Welcome to the world of women where the expenses are high are the morals are low. I asked what she meant and she said that it's exspensive to look beautiful for a man and most of the time you only find sleaze and they only want sex and want you to lower you're boundaries so that they can come weasling into you're life and take everything from you that means anything. So watch out for those guys that would hurt you because I heard about you're almost date and I don't want you to get hurt so ask if they are married BEFORE you continue talking to them. Oh, and make sure to cute you're hair etc.... She gave me so many beauty tips I can't remember them all, lol. On the hand of Tyler he is a weird dude IMHO and you're friend wasn't referring anything negetive towards you she just simply forgot that you ARE a crossdresser because you are a woman in her mind. I feel that that is how things turned out and she no longer considers you a crossdresser, but one of the girls!! I got told that I'm no longer consider a man, but just one of the girls by many of the employees I work with. So don't take that little comment to hear just because she had a blond moment!!

Angela

[Violetgray]

I don't catch the implications of getting your hair straightened and bangs cut?

Getting my hair straightened and getting bangs is a very full-time thing to do. As opposed to now where I can tell the femme hairstyle off, this would be a more permanent commitment.

[Vickie_CDTV]

She just may not understand the different between a part-time dresser and a full-time TGist/TS. She might assume everyone who dresses wants to be fulltime, and figures now that you have proven your hair skills on wigs you could get away with maintaining your own hair.

I have gotten the "why don't you grow your hair out?" question from folks a zillion times over the years ("why don't you/when will you start hormones"? is another common one.) Because I like being able to take the feminine hair and boobs off and be a guy sometimes, sillies!