Doing It As a Comfort

[wetlook crossdresser]

There are many reasons why we crossdress. I find the idea that some of us didn't receive the love and attention from our mothers that we needed causing us to hold and wear their clothes when we needed comfort quite plausible. In my case, a marriage to a woman who did not satisfy this need caused me to crossdress first with her clothes then on to my own. She knew I was doing this and for several reasons our marriage of over 25 years failed. Its catch 22 to find a girl while crossdressing but that expression "the more people I meet, the more I love my dog" rings true with my encounters with women. Many people use pets as comforting substitute for partners. I seem to be doing this with wearing women's clothes but it also turns most women off. Your thoughts on this. Thank you.

[Tracii G]

Not sure who you are blaming for your CDing
Blaming someone else for what you do confuses me.

[ChelseaErtel]

You have me thinking. I know that I was not as sexual as my wife would have wanted from the start (she waited 20 years before saying anything). I CD'd young, but stopped and started over the last 50 years. My wife does not know of my CDing.

Began dressing to pass just during the last three years. I work from home 2-3 days a week and those are my girl days. I find it expressed me, I'm comforted at looking at a pretty face in the mirror and the feel of women's clothing.

So, am I a woman in a man's body? Did I suppress it all these years? My CDing is not sexual, nothing rises to the occasion. I get emotionally excited when I get new clothes or have an opportunity to dress for extended periods of time where I be a woman (pretend). But it doesn't feel like pretending, just natural.

So, a lot of mixed feelings. That's mine, I'll look forward to seeing other stories.

[docrobbysherry]

"In my case, a marriage to a woman who did not satisfy this need caused me to crossdress-------".

I don't think I understand, Wetlook. Your ex didn't love u and dressing filled THAT need for u?

Sherry is my current "girlfriend", but even I can't claim there's any love involved-----

[wilt575]

When I was young it just seemed natural to dress in either girls clothes or boys clothes, grew up with two sisters and had three girl cousins nextdoor and always played dressup and girl games with girls in the neighborhood, only two other boys on the street, they lived at the other end never came around the girls. To me clothes were clothes and thus the seed was planted. As for school went to private boys academy and had uniforms (yuk), glad when school day was over. So today still prefer the fem me.

[Samantha43]

I don't know what's up with me. I have the best mom in the world and am married to an awesome wife. I do remember when I was really young my sister would get a cute dress for Easter and I was stuck with a stupid coat and tie. I hated coats and ties. My sister got all the attention about her pretty dress, I got none. Maybe thats why I crossdress....na, I just like it!

I still hate coats and ties.....

[Cynthia Anne]

Why I do it dosen't geally matter to me anymore! I just know it keeps me sane being the real me!

[heatherdress]

Is the question who or what to blame for our crossdressing or who to thank that we crossdress?

[Moxie]

Who ever got my husband started is getting cut from the Christmas card list!!

Though, come to think of it, blaming the mother-in-law is a very appealing idea. :)

[Tracii G]

Who ever got my husband started is getting cut from the Christmas card list!!

Though, come to think of it, blaming the mother-in-law is a very appealing idea. :)

LOLOLOL yeah we can blame her.Good idea.Way too funny DM

[justicia]

Who to thank :) its a blessing not a curse in my opinion.

[Angela Campbell]

I cannot find blame for what I do from anyone or anything. I do not blame my father for my blue eyes, my mother for my height, or my schoolteachers for what they taught me. I am me and this is what I am. I feel like it is just an accident of birth. I was dealt these cards and I am playing them the best I can. I had a very loving and wonderful childhood, good schools, and good health. I am blessed.

[bridget thronton]

Started with youthful curiousity (I was 13) and continued because I enjoyed wearing the clothes (no one to blame but myself)

[linda allen]

Is the question who or what to blame for our crossdressing or who to thank that we crossdress?

It doesn't have to be "blame" or "thank". Many of us are curious or are asked by others why we do it.


I find the idea that some of us didn't receive the love and attention from our mothers that we needed causing us to hold and wear their clothes when we needed comfort quite plausible.
That and/or the fact that my mother really wanted a daughter, not a son is the best I can figure as the reason I dress. "Linda" would have been my name if I had been born a girl.

[Karren H]

There are many reasons why we crossdress. .

Since no one really knows why..... that could be an incorrect assumption...... there might only be one answer.... alien abduction! lol

[Beverley Sims]

I think I drank too much water at girls tea parties years ago.
If I wanted to play with the girls I had to conform. :)

[NicoleScott]

There have been lots of threads with new theories or polls designed to find some common characteristic hopefully leading to the cause of crossdressing.
Left-handed, first-born, middle child, youngest, raised by single mom, guitar-playing, etc. No results yet - keep looking.

[Frédérique]

There are many reasons why we crossdress. I find the idea that some of us didn't receive the love and attention from our mothers that we needed causing us to hold and wear their clothes when we needed comfort quite plausible. In my case, a marriage to a woman who did not satisfy this need caused me to crossdress first with her clothes then on to my own. She knew I was doing this and for several reasons our marriage of over 25 years failed. Its catch 22 to find a girl while crossdressing but that expression "the more people I meet, the more I love my dog" rings true with my encounters with women. Many people use pets as comforting substitute for partners. I seem to be doing this with wearing women's clothes but it also turns most women off. Your thoughts on this.

I’m glad you asked... :straightface:

I received plenty of love, attention, and support from my mother. I was never wanting for comfort – she and I were very close, but not disturbingly so. I was not at odds with my father; in fact he and I were like working partners on the farm where we lived. I was very much his son. In this atmosphere of love, support, and happiness my crossdressing first emerged, took root, and flourished...

I had a girlfriend who was very beautiful, and we loved each other very much. She didn’t exactly “wear” her femininity, but her influence could be felt by me, the impressionable male, at all times. You would think I would’ve tucked my crossdressing away during this period, but I actually did more, and more, and more, thrilled to be so close to a woman. She saw me as her soul-mate, and I would say she came closest to being my SO. No, I didn’t dress like her, and I don't dress to replace her...

I had another girlfriend who was VERY feminine, and, while I was dating her, I put my CD self away for a time. I was engaged to her, expecting to enter a life of constrained normalcy, but it didn’t work out. Plan “A” failed, so I shifted to plan “B.” Naturally, the crossdressing returned, thankfully, but I don’t dress because a woman is absent from my life, nor is it done purely to generate comfort. Lots of things give me comfort. It’s just something I began years ago, for whatever reason, and, since I enjoy it, I continue to DO that thing...

Oh, and I have several cats that are very comforting. I dress up in their presence, they purr, and I purr back at them... :battingeyelashes:

[Maria_1969]

I gave up on blaming or looking into why I do.... my current GF is also great because like she says to me... You much more calm and relaxed and you look so hot like that, I say just do it"... Matter of fact, I am not allowed to not xdress anymore at home.

I do have a theory though... Females in a way can express their masculine side normally without any ridicule, they were jeans, do typically male activities perhaps and so on.... Us men do not usually have such leeway since society dictates we have to be masculine at all times (especially from many women who see us as a threat or can't handle their man liking it), so we mostly have to do so in private and then question ourselves, where women do not. Blame Societies rules for men and woman, we MUST be men or we are called gay, girly-man or what ever....Many fear telling their other half over this fear. Many more, like I once did, look for reasons as to why... lets face it, men have female hormones too and they do want us to be in touch with them too... I think more men then we will ever realize, do xdress to some extent, even if just curious but keep it extremely private for the many fears I mentioned. I'm lucky to have a great woman, I hope many more are as lucky and can feel free about allowing their feminine side to come out and not locked up inside. For anyone that does not know me, I am only a waist down xder, but its all I need to allow her to feel free. Its not about how far you take your dressing as long as it makes you happy.... you live once so enjoy it.

[wetlook crossdresser]

Thank you for your comments, many ring familiar to me. I used the word "caused" for my CDing and the word "blamed" has come up. "Inspired" is the best word for my circumstances as I love it. Whether I was born with these seeds or chose it as an option to incompatible sensual needs with my ex-wife really shouldn't matter. Crossdressing makes me feel comforted in many ways. Its just that as a result I find it very challenging to find a suitable woman companion who sees my other qualities as well as embracing my choice of dress. Feeling just a bit lonely right now but appreciate your comments and that comforts me.