Claire Cook
10-23-2012, 08:40 AM
Some of you have probably used this line when shopping en drab. There’s a twist to this story … Claire went shopping for Sue, I don’t if any of you have done this, but it was an absolute hoot (and I wound up getting things I wouldn’t have thought of en drab, thanks to GG helpers). Plus there is a bottom line for those of you who worry about being read. I made no bones about the fact that I am a guy and you know something? It didn’t matter! Took all of the pressure of out of “being read”. (The only time I do try to “pass” is in the ladies’ room…so to speak…)
The story starts in a furniture store last week. We needed some chairs for our pool deck, so we went to a local store that deals with patio furniture. I was en drab, except for my earrings (flower pattern studs.) Shirley, the salesperson who helped us, must have picked up on this (or my femme side) immediately and we get very chatty, she calling me “hon” several times. We found a blue Adirondack chair that was perfect (“But I only have one … we have other colors. Why don’t you take this home, see how it looks and maybe the green or yellow one would do.” Ok , we do this and it looks great. Call from Shirley: “Guess what, I found another blue one in the stockroom.” “Great, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.” Stop by the store. “You’re not wearing earrings today.” “No, but maybe I should have worn hoops and one of my wigs.” She doesn’t bat an eye: “Oh, how do you like my wig?” The other salesladies look up, but no reaction. “BTW, Tuesday is Sue’s birthday, and I’m thinking about getting her a bookcase for her cookbooks. Trouble is, it can’t be more than 34” high, to fit the space we’d like.” “Let me check and I’ll get back to you.” Several phone calls later: “Nothing under 36” “. But I did get a great recommendation for dinner Tuesday night.
Fast forward to yesterday. Claire is ready for her excursion (haven’t been out for a couple of weeks). First stop: the furniture store – it’s time Shirley met Claire. The girl who greets me is wearing this terrific purple skirt. “Is Shirley in today?” “No, but maybe I can help you.” “Well, you could leave a message for me. Tell her that C___ thanks her for her help this weekend. No, wait. Tell her that C__, sometimes Claire, thanks her.” At that I get a big smile and a lovely wink!
Now for the shopping! First stop, the Gifted Cook. “Hi, may I help you?” “Yes, I’m looking for birthday presents for my wife.” (Whatever reactions I expected, I didn’t get.) “Anything in particular?” “Yes, I want to get her some small Portmeirion breakfast bowls.” “Fine, I’ll show you what we have.” We decide on two pretty patterns, done. “Can you gift wrap that for me?” “Certainly, but you’ll have to wait a bit.” “Fine, I’ll look around and maybe find something else. We do need a garlic press, and something to mash up lemon grass stems.” “Right over there.” As I find just what I need, who should walk in but my next-door neighbor Jeannie and two of her girl friends! Now I’ve told her that I dress, and she’s seen me a couple of times, but we’ve never seen each other in public like this. OK…. “Hi Neighbor!” Ice broken. Small talk, and I tell her I’m buying birthday presents for Sue. Her girl friends pick up on the conversation. “We’d be glad to help!” Later they are looking at some (literally) cool devices that chill wine in the bottle – you keep them in the freezer, then insert in a white wine bottle – acts as a pourer as well. One of her friends: “That’s what you should get her.” So I’m carrying this flat crusher thing, and I look at the coolers. “Now you’ve given me a problem. Which to get? Girls, I’ve got it. I’ll get both!” At that they all laugh, and one says “I just love to spend other people’s money!”
So Claire is off to Hallmark to get a card. The girl at the counter just smiles when she sees the “For my Wife” card. Now for some double duty: to Elizabeth’s Closet, the best consignment shop in Vero Beach. They have a rack of Chico’s, and Sue wanted another pair of crops (the local Chico’s outlet didn’t have any). I had shopped there about four years ago, but hadn’t been back. We exchange pleasantries and I’m directed to the Chico’s rack. Lots of stuff here, but not what I’m looking for. (But then again .. what about for me?) The other woman in the store is at the clearance rack, and makes a comment about a friend of hers who will be visiting Vero in January “and just has to come back to this store.” So I ask the lady in charge: “Perhaps you can help me. I’m looking for a pair of crops for my wife, Chico’s size 0. What would you have in non-Chico’s crops?” Now I get a look from the other lady .. not much reaction, so she goes back to poking through the clearance rack. From the Elizabeth’s lady: “Try looking at the clearance rack – size 4-6 should work. Sure enough I find two pairs. Sue is a little smaller than my waist size, so I hold them up. “I think these will work.” The other lady looks up and says “Those stretchy waistbands are really comfy.” Lady in charge chimes in, and soon we’re talking about other clothes on the rack. I find a cute little dress for $9. “Can I use the dressing room?” “”Of course.” So I’m at the cash register (“That was fast. I’m glad you found what you wanted”) with the two crops and dress. “Do you think she’ll like them?” I laugh and say “If she doesn’t, I’ll wear them!” Then: “I have to bring my wife here.” “Indeed – I want you both to come back.” Be assured we will!
As I have found in the past, it is SUCH a rush for me to be one of the girls. Even when – or maybe especially when – they know about me. The advice I got from my girl friends was wonderful – Sue loved every present!
The story starts in a furniture store last week. We needed some chairs for our pool deck, so we went to a local store that deals with patio furniture. I was en drab, except for my earrings (flower pattern studs.) Shirley, the salesperson who helped us, must have picked up on this (or my femme side) immediately and we get very chatty, she calling me “hon” several times. We found a blue Adirondack chair that was perfect (“But I only have one … we have other colors. Why don’t you take this home, see how it looks and maybe the green or yellow one would do.” Ok , we do this and it looks great. Call from Shirley: “Guess what, I found another blue one in the stockroom.” “Great, I’ll pick it up tomorrow.” Stop by the store. “You’re not wearing earrings today.” “No, but maybe I should have worn hoops and one of my wigs.” She doesn’t bat an eye: “Oh, how do you like my wig?” The other salesladies look up, but no reaction. “BTW, Tuesday is Sue’s birthday, and I’m thinking about getting her a bookcase for her cookbooks. Trouble is, it can’t be more than 34” high, to fit the space we’d like.” “Let me check and I’ll get back to you.” Several phone calls later: “Nothing under 36” “. But I did get a great recommendation for dinner Tuesday night.
Fast forward to yesterday. Claire is ready for her excursion (haven’t been out for a couple of weeks). First stop: the furniture store – it’s time Shirley met Claire. The girl who greets me is wearing this terrific purple skirt. “Is Shirley in today?” “No, but maybe I can help you.” “Well, you could leave a message for me. Tell her that C___ thanks her for her help this weekend. No, wait. Tell her that C__, sometimes Claire, thanks her.” At that I get a big smile and a lovely wink!
Now for the shopping! First stop, the Gifted Cook. “Hi, may I help you?” “Yes, I’m looking for birthday presents for my wife.” (Whatever reactions I expected, I didn’t get.) “Anything in particular?” “Yes, I want to get her some small Portmeirion breakfast bowls.” “Fine, I’ll show you what we have.” We decide on two pretty patterns, done. “Can you gift wrap that for me?” “Certainly, but you’ll have to wait a bit.” “Fine, I’ll look around and maybe find something else. We do need a garlic press, and something to mash up lemon grass stems.” “Right over there.” As I find just what I need, who should walk in but my next-door neighbor Jeannie and two of her girl friends! Now I’ve told her that I dress, and she’s seen me a couple of times, but we’ve never seen each other in public like this. OK…. “Hi Neighbor!” Ice broken. Small talk, and I tell her I’m buying birthday presents for Sue. Her girl friends pick up on the conversation. “We’d be glad to help!” Later they are looking at some (literally) cool devices that chill wine in the bottle – you keep them in the freezer, then insert in a white wine bottle – acts as a pourer as well. One of her friends: “That’s what you should get her.” So I’m carrying this flat crusher thing, and I look at the coolers. “Now you’ve given me a problem. Which to get? Girls, I’ve got it. I’ll get both!” At that they all laugh, and one says “I just love to spend other people’s money!”
So Claire is off to Hallmark to get a card. The girl at the counter just smiles when she sees the “For my Wife” card. Now for some double duty: to Elizabeth’s Closet, the best consignment shop in Vero Beach. They have a rack of Chico’s, and Sue wanted another pair of crops (the local Chico’s outlet didn’t have any). I had shopped there about four years ago, but hadn’t been back. We exchange pleasantries and I’m directed to the Chico’s rack. Lots of stuff here, but not what I’m looking for. (But then again .. what about for me?) The other woman in the store is at the clearance rack, and makes a comment about a friend of hers who will be visiting Vero in January “and just has to come back to this store.” So I ask the lady in charge: “Perhaps you can help me. I’m looking for a pair of crops for my wife, Chico’s size 0. What would you have in non-Chico’s crops?” Now I get a look from the other lady .. not much reaction, so she goes back to poking through the clearance rack. From the Elizabeth’s lady: “Try looking at the clearance rack – size 4-6 should work. Sure enough I find two pairs. Sue is a little smaller than my waist size, so I hold them up. “I think these will work.” The other lady looks up and says “Those stretchy waistbands are really comfy.” Lady in charge chimes in, and soon we’re talking about other clothes on the rack. I find a cute little dress for $9. “Can I use the dressing room?” “”Of course.” So I’m at the cash register (“That was fast. I’m glad you found what you wanted”) with the two crops and dress. “Do you think she’ll like them?” I laugh and say “If she doesn’t, I’ll wear them!” Then: “I have to bring my wife here.” “Indeed – I want you both to come back.” Be assured we will!
As I have found in the past, it is SUCH a rush for me to be one of the girls. Even when – or maybe especially when – they know about me. The advice I got from my girl friends was wonderful – Sue loved every present!