Late Bloomer

[elizabeth_sonya]

I am new to the group. I am glad I have found an area where I can express my feelings. It has been a difficult couple of years. At the encouragement of my girlfriend I began crossdressing. I have some desires to dress and appear as a woman for years but beleive these feelings were suppressed for many years. I now feel more comfortable and more "me" if I can look and dress like a woman. The problem now is my girlfriend isn't thrilled when I want to dress even though she tells me that it is okay with her. She says she feels like a little more of me as a man goes away each time she sees me as a woman. I feel torn, guilty and selfish when I want to see my female side come out. I don't know if my relationship will survive if I don't get to be and feel like a woman more.

Does anyone here struggle with your feminine side and finding a balance and your identity as a man?

[Beverley Sims]

Try and maintain a balance and dress as a man a little more for now.
Then go forward again. That is the best strategy.

[elizabeth_sonya]

I will try that. I just get such a thrill shopping for womens clothes. When I shop for guys clothes, not so thrilled.

[STACY B]

Guy clothes ?? They still sell them ,,,LOL,,,,, Hell I didn't know ??

[elizabeth_sonya]

I know. Lately all I want to buy are girl clothes. I need to find a good place for more heels. I love wearing heels.

[kimdl93]

Talk with your girl friend. It may be that you're experiencing a a little euphoria at being able to finally express your feminine side. She may understand that it's so new and exciting that its hard to keep keep perspective. Ask for her patience as you come to terms with this part of yourself and try to find a comfortable compromise. And in the final analysis, reassure her that you are not being taken over by your desires and remain the person you have always been.

[heatherdress]

At the encouragement of my girlfriend I began crossdressing.

Why/how did she encourage you? Seems like she would be very supportive. As already suggested, maybe you should slow down and continue being a good boyfriend, first. Let the crossdressing develop, make sure it is OK with her, try to make it fun for her, always let her know that you appreciate her, have something for her when you dress.

[elizabeth_sonya]

She said she had intuition that I have feminine tendencies. She started my buying me panties. Then she took me shopping for some dresses, lingerie etc. She then helped me get a wig and made me up. She was shocked how it transformed me to her into a woman. She says I am so transformed that she doesn't see any part of the man she knows. I am gone when I dress up. She never thought it would be such a drastic transformation.

[docrobbysherry]

Never mind her. Does the "dramatic change" have an impact on u, too, Liz?

I can tell u from personal experience it can get A LOT MORE COMPLICATED than what you're experiencing now!

After 15 years of beginning dressing at age 50, I have a semi full of ladies things and Sherry is my only GF! So, try to understand and enjoy where and who u r!

[Kate Simmons]

Used to struggle, not any more. Pretty balanced these days.:battingeyelashes::)

[Marissa V]

we made the agreement that when my gf wants the male me, all she needs to do is ask. Apart from that, when ever i dress up, all my attention goes to my gf. She shares my life, wich includes my CD. And ofc we talk talk talk talk endlessly about it.

[krissy]

my wife of 35 years did the same thing she helped me get my stuff and helped dress me but when she saw me she didnt like me that way.but i cant stop oh i miss her help and i wish she could accept me but she cant but i have to still dress.its part of me .i cant help wanting to dress i love it it makes me happy inside

[Stacy Myrdin]

the truth is the both of you just have to keep talking ,
if you love her and she loves you that will get you through,
just make her feel loved and wanted ,
and there's always people here for the both of you as well,
hugs

[Karren H]

Does anyone here struggle with your feminine side and finding a balance and your identity as a man?

No.... not since I accepted the fact that this is something that's never ever going away..... ever....

[Krista1985]

It used to trouble me when I noticed the scales tipping in favor of more girl-time. But somewhere along the way I admitted to myself that I truly enjoy it, so what's the harm? I find I think about dressing a lot more now than when I first tried it, but still make time for my responsibilities as a male. Work, social obligations, errands and all that good stuff. But in my private moments when I am deciding how to entertain myself, girl time almost always wins. Love it, love it, love it.

That's how I balance it for myself, an SO isn't part of my equation but I think it's important for both partners to get what they want sometimes. That may mean skipping dressing up now and then for you, and for her allowing/encouraging it from time to time. Best luck!