Support groups or support friends?

[ME2.0]

Hi there, I'm a heterosexual CD who's happily married to a supportive wife who even helps me shop. Anyhow, I was wondering if other CD's ever have friends that they dress up with just to socialize and talk. I see that craigslist has a section in their "casual encounters" area, but I'm not looking for a sexual relationship. Just someone who can feel comfortable dressing and having a friendly relationship with. My wife is the greatest thing to me, but I would love to talk face to face with someone who can relate to how I feel and maybe laugh at the funny things that happen when you try to dress or try new things for appearance.

It seems that Crossdressers are looked at as sexual beings that are supposed to be either submissive to people or lusted after, and i'd love to have a friend that just understands that we're people too, and not just a piece of meat made for somekind of perverts pleasure online. I'm not on any hormones, but geez I'm starting to feel somekind of estrogen type personality coming on.

Am I the only one who feels like this? Any advice?

Thanks alot in advance

Hugs
Staci

[NathalieX66]

I started out by joining my local Tri Ess chapter almost three years ago.....That got me out. They are sister to a more all-inclusive TG support group. The first time for me was a hotel restaurant near a military base, with lots of guys in army camo in the place calmed my nervousness. I was amazed at their acceptance. Those days helped me earn my wings in public. I'm a pretty boring hetero dude myself, and have had my share of being approached by other men. OK that's fine, but sorry you ain't going to end up in my bed at the end of the evening. I'm comfortable in the deepest of deep LGBT environments, yet I'm still attracted to women, and yet I sometimes I need to be one.

I do dress as female in public often. I tested the waters since January 2010, and here I am, after much trial and error. My hair is down to my shoulders finally since nearly nothing two years ago, I did beard removal by laser. I never thought I'd be here in a million years.

I met even more friends by attending transgender conferences such as Keystone Conference in Pennsylvania, and Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta,Georgia.

[Melissa73]

hello, can i say i feel the same way! My wife is very supportive, especially considering we are living an open marriage! Im not out looking for sexual activities, but friends whom i can support and seek support from as well. im tired of dating sites for crossdressers cuz they just want hook ups, and clubs are more the same. I wanna make friends i can shop w/ and go have lunch w. "a real friendship"

[Veronica27]

I think there is a huge gap in the support network for heterosexual, married crossdressers who are simply looking for some friendship. This is partly the fault of the crossdressers, who feel a strong need for privacy and security that tends to keep them in the closet, and partly the fault of the so called TG community who more and more tend to place the emphasis on activism, civil rights and partnership with the overall LGBT community. Before I am attacked as being a bigot, over the years I have made many friends and conducted business with many members of all of those groups, understand their concerns and bear them no ill will. It is simply that when it comes to crossdressing, my personal interests and concerns are a world apart from theirs.

Internet forums, such as this, are the only outlet available for expressing the feelings of crossdressers like myself without feeling overwhelmed by LGBT concerns. The Tri-ess organization has been mentioned, but it has been under much pressure over the last 10 or 15 years to be more open, and many of its chapters have separated from the organization to become their own independent and open groups. I once belonged to the national group, but being Canadian soon found that all of its Canadian chapters had disappeared. Even when they existed, there were none close enough to make membership practical.

A few years ago, there was an attempt to establish a social get-together type group not far from where I live. Before I discovered it, it had become inactive although its remains can still be found online. It appears to have ended because of being overrun by too much of the craigs list sort of mentality that sought membership.

My wife and I have attended a number of CD conventions in recent years in an attempt to find a means of safely getting out of the closet. Our intention has been to enjoy the socializing, dining out and attending other interesting activities while allowing myself to be fully crossdressed. It has been our wish to be able to let my crossdressing be a non issue and just allow ourselves to "be" without having to discuss the deeper aspects of crossdressing, our insecurities or any activism issues. Sadly that has become less and less possible, as the theme of these gatherings is becoming increasingly transgender activism.

There is a need for a network of some sort that will provide a means for the more "quiet and reserved" type crossdressers to meet and socialize along with their SO's without being overwhelmed by flamboyance or activism, while maintaining their desire for their own security, privacy and safety. I don't think that many closeted crossdressers, who are seeking to find a way to open their closet doors a little, feel they can find that by joining many of the existing support groups when they read their objectives on their websites.

Veronica

[JenniferUK]

I joined our local support group and have already made friends despite only going for the first time last week. We are meeting again tonight, can't wait to show off my new heels.

Hugs

J

[Angela Campbell]

Yeah...where else can a guy show off his new heels!

[Sally24]

There are social groups all over the place that do just that. Just search for them. In New England alone we have 5 or 6 of them. There is some element of furthering "the cause" but the main mission of all these groups is to get CDs out of the house to meet others.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/sisters_of_boston/

http://tcne.org/

[Tracii G]

Find a local CD or transgender support group and you should find and make new friends to go out with.
Include your wife in the meetings and have fun with it.

[reb.femme]

Am I the only one who feels like this? Any advice?

Hi Staci,

No, it's just you! OK, maybe not!

This piece could have been written by me, hetero male, supportive wife, looking to meet individuals/groups and have an open time with like minds. Not had the Craig's List experience but as I'm not that way inclined, I'm happy with that. If I'm tied up at home with another man, I'm being robbed, not rogered....hopefully not both :heehee:.

In the UK, we live like battery hens more often than not, but I just feel so isolated at the same time (poor me time here :sad:). Would be great to have friends/acquaintances locally with whom to share this CD experience.

I suppose ultimately, rather than lamenting my loneliness, I could be the person that gets it going. My problem is, I don't want my very local, neighbourhood knuckle-draggers becoming aware of my home.

Rebecca

[Kate Simmons]

I support friends myself and I don't mean sexually. Sex is fairly easy to come by, good friends are not.:battingeyelashes::)

[Stephanie47]

I would do an Internet search of support groups in your area. I know there is a least one in the Seattle area. I've seen at least one of the women who belong to this forum post her picture and bio on the group website. That group looks as if it is nothing more than a monthly social get together with no other obligations or suggestions. I suspect a group setting would be a lot less stressful than meeting one on one.

[Sometimes Steffi]

Sometimes they're hard to find, but I've been out with TG groups in Houston, Denver, DC, and know some girls in the Baltimore and Phili groups.

[Roberta Marie]

The support group that I belong to was one of those that split from Tri-Ess several years ago, long before my association with them. I've been a member for about 4 years. In that time, many of the friends that I've met there have become some of my closest. We socialize regularly, including going to movies, the theatre, concerts and resturaunts.

My advise, like others have said, would be to find a local support group. There you will most likely find the friendships that you are looking for.

[ME2.0]

Veronica, No offense is taken at all from your post. In fact I pretty much agree with it. I'm not looking to get everyone to accept me and love me, and I don't feel like I'm discriminated against and want to start a revolution, and I'm certainly not looking for sex. Just someone to share some laughs with maybe trade some beauty tips, and if I get brave enough, maybe go out somewhere. I'm not super secretive, but I don't want to shove my Fem side in everyone's face either.

Thanks alot for your advice.

Hugs,
Staci

[Erica Marie]

I know how you feel. But actually you are one step up on alot of other cd'ers. You do have the love and support of your wife. I have been through a marriage and a gf. The gf claimed she was supportive but then used it as a poor excuse to leave for some one else. Gives a guy a complex on ever trying to tell anyone else. It would be great to find a local group of others to hang with. To share make over secrets and just to have support of others who understand. If anyone knows of any support groups in NE Wi please let me know.

[lexyanne]

Hello everyone, as most can see I am quite new here. I am however looking to find some sort of support group, or support structure in Eastern Wisconsin. Does anyone know of anything.
I remember years and years ago that Tri-Ess was in Chicago and Minnesota, but I haven't heard about them for some time.

If no one knows of anything, what would be some of the interest if possibly getting something together. I have to admit that I have been dressing for years, but all but one time was it alone deeply secretive.

Thanks for looking, if anyone in Wisconsin wants to chat too I would love to get something going.

Lexy