Crossdressed in front of my PARENTS!!

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Hey folks,

I haven't posted here in a while, have been fairly busy and sometimes forum habits fade away a bit, plus I've been blogging so that tends to steal some of my focus when it comes to talking about CDing. But I do like to come and post when I have a milestone and boy do I ever. I've been meaning to post this all week but I've had a high-priority project to work on first.

So I've been out to my parents about my crossdressing for over 3 years now, even longer to my dad, but I've still felt awkward with the idea of wearing women's clothes around them. This was partially due to me knowing it makes my mom uncomfortable. Once when I was still living in Ohio and at their house, I left my room dressed in a kilt and tights and my mom said to my dad after I left, "I hope this is just a phase."

Well, cut to this past weekend, as I now live in Los Angeles and my parents were coming to visit me for the first time. For those who don't know me, I don't dress to pass, I dress as myself in the clothes I like. Lately I have been dressing almost every day, I dyed my hair to work better with my eye makeup, I have a manicure, and I've made my look a lot more consistent. So I really agonized over if I should cool it a bit while they were here. I did some really deep soul searching and decided that I just couldn't. This is how I live my life, they were going to be on my turf, and I wanted to be myself.

And I was, and it went great. They were here all day Friday and Saturday and got in late Thursday. I met them at their hotel Thursday night in a kilt, with eyeliner, a women's v-neck t-shirt and women's boots. Friday they met me on my lunch break from work (where they don't care how I dress) and I had on a black pleated short skirt, the same boots, with a men's t-shirt and a boyfriend cardigan. After work we went to dinner and the Santa Monica Pier, and it was chilly so I added opaque black tights to the wardrobe. Then on Saturday, I was doing a standup show they were coming to, and I did my makeup much more elaborately, and I wore my solid black kilt, sheer "black mist" pantyhose, some boots, and the black boyfriend Cardi.

They made no commentary about my clothes the whole trip and we had a great time, conversed normally, I even caught my mom getting into discussions with me about makeup and clothes which she historically has clammed up during. When we were hugging goodbye, I finally brought it up and just thanked them for being such good sports about it and how important it was for me. My dad said "We love you," and my mom said she was proud of me.

It was really, really amazing and a huge leap forward for me and I'm so glad I had the courage to be myself. And it's because they are such loving, supportive parents that I was ever able to be open about this to begin with.

[kimdl93]

Thats wonderful! Its great to see how your parents have adjusted to and grown supportive of you. In the end, they love you and are proud of you. what more could one ask?

[Inna]

it is quite amazing how much we as people and not just TGs, but all, live in constant fear of rejection, whether conscious or subconscious. What you have done took guts, and as the matter of fact since the beginning you did not hide behind the more elaborate female facade yet projected your obvious self to the elements at hand. And now this huge milestone of forceful embrace of your truth!

As your parents, a wonderful parents at that, I too feel proud of your stance and pursuit of happiness in truth and love.

[whowhatwhen]

You have really amazing parents, congrats!
:)

[Meghan]

Yay!

That is quite a milestone! I have a shirt with all sorts of rainbows and cute stuffed animals with a sarcastic error message that reads "cuteness overflow". I love it, it's my favorite shirt, but my dad won't even look at me when I wear it. If he can't take cuteness overflow, he won't handle Meghan well, so I doubt I will ever get that chance.

So congrats to you! Very nicely done. Isn't it fun to break barriers?

Meghan

[Foxglove]

Congrats, Jive, and congrats to your folks, too. If my parents had ever seen me dressed like that, I'd have been dogmeat, not turkey on rye.

Annabelle

[Beverley Sims]

My grandmother saw me once dressed with my friends and she thought I was my girlfriend.
She said to one of my friends I hope he marries a girl like that one day. How could I ever tell her. :)

[Tracii G]

Ryan such a wonderful story I'm glad all went well and your parents should be proud of you.
Being yourself can be hard at times but you proved it can be done.:)

[MsRenee]

Its nice that your parents have accepted you for who you are only wish my mothrr had gotten to met me I know she would have loved me also.
Renee

[Joanna41]

That story was nothing short of awesome! Glad it all went well. Maybe they will cone back again soon.

Joanna

[reb.femme]

When we were hugging goodbye, I finally brought it up and just thanked them for being such good sports about it and how important it was for me. My dad said "We love you," and my mom said she was proud of me.

This point brought tears to my eyes. My son came out as gay when he was 16, so reminiscent of that time for me.
So glad that your parents are good and loving people. As Kim said, "What more could one ask"?

Rebecca

[DonniDarkness]

Ryan,

Thanks for sharing such an awesome story. Sounds like your parents are super cool people.

-Donni-

[Stephanie47]

If your mom still has reservations concerning your choices, I think her beliefs would be tempered because you and your family were on your own turf.

[Barbara Ella]

Congrats on this Jive. Time is often the great blurrer of dislike, especially when the person has a love that cannot be taken away, like a parent for their child. It is wonderful you had the courage to be true to yourself and show then your life. It is equally sad that a lot of us cannot, or will never, have the chance to do something like this. So happy for you.

Barbara

[PretzelGirl]

That is a great story Ryan. Sometimes our parents surprise us and accept the things we do instead of trying to "improve" us. Imagine that. Love is a funny thing. But you have to be glad you took the leap and you have to be all aglow now.

[MaryAnn40c]

I have dressed in front of my dad and his 2nd wife and he was not unset or put off nor was was his wife. My mother have known for years that I dressed as a women and waited till I said something first...she was fine with all this . My friends my family were and still is ...fine with my dressing

[CD_blue]

Very nice post and sounds like you got some great parents!

[LelaK]

Speaking of parents, that reminds me, when I was about 13 I went into my sisters' bedroom one night next to the living room with the door open to lay down on their bed to rest a bit with the light off. But then I got the urge to try on one of their dresses in the closet. After I had it on, I heard Dad say to Mom while watching tv, "I wonder what Lloyd's doing" and he started walking to the bedroom. I hurried up and took off the dress, but he caught me in the closet with my shirt off just after I got my pants zipped up. Oddly, I don't think he said anything; he just went back to the living room as if nothing happened.

Another time I had taken one of my sister's dresses and hid it in my bed so I could put it on in the bathroom once in a while. Unfortunately, Mom found it in the bed one day and I think my sister was there with her when Mom asked why I put it there. She seemed almost angry. I spontaneously said I wanted to see how long it would take for my sister to notice it was missing. I hadn't thought of what to say in advance, so I'm surprised I thought of such a good cover story so quickly. She seemed fairly satisfied with my reply and didn't dig any deeper.

But I imagine both of my parents may have had suspicions, but I guess they respected my privacy enough not to pry any further.

[AlyssaT]

I'm not a parent, so what the hell do I know. But I think they are proud of you because any parent who really loves their son would be proud that he found a way to be happy and had the courage to do so. It is that love that allows the parent to eventually work through their own social programming to realize that superficial things don't matter. For parents who truly love their son, much of that initial disgust/disapproval is really an expression of fear that the son's abnormalities will prevent his own happiness. Once they see that you are able to own it and enjoy it, that fear goes away, and only pride is left.

[JeanneF]

Small world, Ryan. I totally didn't realize that you post on here as well (seen your screen name 1000x and didn't put two and two together). I've been following your Tumblr blog for a few months now, and we have a few mutual acquaintances from the Ohio comedy scene. I think I may have met you at an open mic at the Columbus Funny Bone back in 2004-2005.

Major props for everything you're doing. I wish I the balls (no pun intended) to do it.

[CharlotteX]

Awww. That's such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing! :)

[kirsti]

Such a wonderful story, thank you for sharing with the community.
Indeed many could only dream of such an experience, and member's such as you, and even I have afforded many member's to share in that experience.
I have alway's raised my children to be true to themselves, and tolerant, not to appease, but to except other's, as other's accept them.
While none of my children have had any transgender issues, etc. they all know that I would support them 100%.
They have been taught, and none of them judge others by any standard beyond how one treats others.
That's it.... I am thrilled your experience worked out so well, and with your mom too....

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Thanks to everyone who responded. I was very excited and happy to share this positive experience with my fellow CDs here. I hope it can help anyone who is on the fence about being open or not.

On a sad note, I think one of the reasons my parents were more willing to be accepting about things now is that we tragically lost my brother earlier this year in a car accident. It's been a pretty tough year which was part of why it was so nice to get to spend time with them. I think there may have been more of a need from my mom to not get caught up in being upset about little things like skirts and eyeliner given the context,