halloween playmate costume!

[foxyjj111]

So, if anyone remembers, i talked to my wife last january about the fact that i am transgendered. we had the basic discussion, she was concerned but ok with the fact that i love her and that is that. there is a long post if you wish to revert to read. anyway, we havent had any talk about my feminine side other than the occasional joke about makeup or nails or whatever she feels like kidding about. we are a comical couple. Two days before a halloween party she suggests that we go as hephner and a playmate. she leaves it dangling for a second and then says that i would make a great playboy bunny. I casually played it off and then ran with the idea. since i am a stay at home husband or wife or whatever you wish to call me, she left me a credit card and said to go get costumes. I spent my Friday shopping and by the time she came home, had my nails done and my whole costume complete. she acted nonchalant about everything and just said how cute my outfit was.

Im now sitting in our office typing this, wondering if she is trying to subtly hint that she is ok with my being a woman or if i am overthinking this. It seems to me that if she were not ok with my transgenderdism, she would avoid costumes of such nature. I dont know what to think and am honestly half drunk from our party, but what do you think. Am i crazy to think that she may be ok with me or is there another missing link here. guh.

by the way, i will try to get a picture up of my costume. I wore a black skirt with black corset and red pumps. overall it was really cute but people at the party said that i was too into it. obviously if they knew right?

[DanaR]

I think that you need to ask her what her feelings are. If you guess, you might be wrong.

[Barbara Ella]

You need to not spend any time worrying over this. For the moment, accept, and go to the party. This may be her chance to see you dressed, so do it up as nicely as you can, and don't go overboard to tramp it up. When the party is over, then you can bring up the subject if she doesnt. Dont take the enjoyment out if this moment until it is over.

This will involve love and trust. I hope she loves you, and that you trust her not to embarrass you with unwanted disclosures at the party. Since the party is over, and you do not report them, it means you enjoyed the party, and now it is time for the sit down.

Best of luck, and enjoy.

Barbara

PS. It does help if my mind comprehends and absorbs what is written, and I am not quite half drunk tonight. Sorry.

[docrobbysherry]

Why would u want us to guess, Foxy? We don't know u or your SO. How could u value any of our answers?

How about u ask your wife? Maybe SHE knows the answer?

[Beverley Sims]

If your wife is ok with the costume, so be it.
I was interested to see that others thought that you were really into it.
What were some of their reactions and did you look really convincing?
It is intimidating for some to see a guy that they know present as a woman that they can't recognize.
It really plays with their mind. :)
Don't worry see what reactions you get later on.
Friends of mine forget really quickly and adapt to the guy that they know.

[foxyjj111]

barbara,

My "half drunk" statement was simply to imply that my thoughts were a bit random and not as rationalized as they may be if i had consumed a soft beverage instead. I certainly did not mean to say that my mind was not thinking clearly, as it is.

That said, thank you for your comment. The night is over and she seemed to have a good time, however, i just wish she would realize that tonight was the real me. I guess my question to everyone is 'do you think my wife would recomend such a costume, if she does not condone such behavior'? i thought for a moment that this may of been her way of supporting me and maybe we could move forward. just wanted thoughts on this.

[foxyjj111]

beverley,
My wifes acceptance with me being trans is my only real concern. others thought i was 'too into it' because of my french manicure and pink toenails, along with shaving my legs, arms, ect. my wife had fun and laughed along. i really dont care if the friends see me as a man or woman. I only care that my wife sees me for who i am.

[AmyGaleRT]

I think it's a great idea! You should see if you can learn to do a proper "Bunny Dip" before the party, for that authentic touch. There's also an old manual for Playboy Bunnies (ca. 1968) that's been going around the net recently, read up on your role! :)

- Amy

[JeanneF]

The better question, in my experience...how drunk was she last night?

I have found with my wife that the old adage "in vino veritas" is certainly accurate. Some of the worst discussions/arguments about my dressing come out when we've been out together with me dressed. Usually it involves a crying fit (her) and repeated assurances that I don't want to be a girl full time (me).

Most likely she encouraged you to wear the costume because she's trying to be supportive. She's probably pushing her comfort zone by doing this. I always do a girl costume for Halloween, but for the first couple of years I deliberately did my costume how a guy who didn't have a closet full of girls clothes would do it...no breast forms, less than perfect makeup, etc. It was a way of easing her into the idea of going out with me dressed as a girl. She may not have expected you to do as complete of a job as you did on the costume.

There's a whole big spectrum of acceptance by one's spouse. It's not just a black and white issue of either she's totally against it or all in. And where she falls on that spectrum will move around. I told my (now) wife when we were first getting serious while dating. She's accepting, but it's sometimes a challenge. But it's worth it.

[Jenniferathome]

You are over thinking it. The result you hope for will only come through long and detailed conversations with her. Don't assume, she may be ok with a "costume" thinking this will satisfy some need for you and not more. Talk to her.

[Sally24]

She might be giving you a little space on the only day of the year that she'd be comfortable with dressing. Leave it alone for now unless she initiates something else.

[Taylor186]

I'd say give it a few days and then ask her. She may not even know how she feels less than 24 hours after the event.

After many, many years my wife still runs hot and cold (well warm and cold). She is totally on board intellectually with my need to crossdress but viscerally, when seeing me dressed, not so much.

You won't know until you talk to her and then you still might not know.

[stacycoral]

I have been told i was too into it also one time, that is because most people are not able to go out and enjoy the monent, who caresif you and your SO and a good time that is all that matters, love to the picture, i betit was guys that can't get out of that cookie cutter to enjoy life like us girls hugs

[Nikki A.]

My wife let me indulge and go out on Halloween as long as I didn't do it the other 364 days of the year. Since she passed away I don't need to keep that end of the deal and have been out as Nikki in different venues.