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RachelDee
11-27-2005, 10:52 AM
So i have decided what all the recent thoughts and feelings and such mean to be finally, and im 90% certain that i want to be 'female'. That is, i want to live as one, be one. Not just play dress-up sometimes...

I have done a lot of thinking, its been a few months and i think i made my choice long ago i was just having trouble accepting myself. Now i feel more comfortable with myself, that is changing my appearence in ways other people around me might notice -- Im not dressing around them since they dont know yet but ive told my sister how i feel and she took it well enough..

I am going to tell my family (those who i live with) when things start to go ahead, i thought this would be the right time so they know im serious and dont get the wrong idea... probably before but i just want to make sure the doctors and such understand first.


Anyway im just wondering what happens usually... the way i picture it in my head (which might be nieve?) is like this...

Therapist Discussion
Refered to GP?
GP Discussion on Medication & Actions?
Start taking Hormones...
Gradually start with procedures like Electrolsys
Still be seeing therapists...
Sort out other things such as Name, Gender on Documents ect.
After about a year, more 'serious' talks with therapist
Once hormones have been working for about a year or so set a date for SRS.
See Therapists a bit more
Go ahead with SRS if thats ok..
Live happy ever after....

In between all that of course id start changing my apperance as i develop to match. I mean 'day 1' starting on hormones i couldnt go out with lipstick and eyeliner in a dress for instance... that wouldnt help anyone. I would be a guy in a dress, not someone transitioning in a dress.

It's just i have heard about some 'torturious' things that people have mentioned. Like RLT, where you have to live as a women for a year before the SRS is even considered... well once i am passable during the therapy i would be doing that anyway. I am not going to go out though still looking like a 'guy' for obvious reasons -- No matter how i feel about myself, other people will more than likley be freaked out to see a 'guy' in a dress, not to mention it might cause problems (such as discrimination/violence? virbal abuse) anyway.

I also heard that some doctors are really strict about transexuals and go into depth about private matters. Im worried that i might be denied help even though i know how i feel. I wouldnt regret SRS, its not the end of the world losing... that.... i dont need it to live. But it does cause me discomfort knowing its there and a big reminder that im just a guy.... However i would still want to do that 'last' as its the most serious..

The thing is i hear that if you take hormones, the urrm, im looking for a tasteful word to describe it here :P umm the bits between your legs shrink and you become sterile after a time... but that can cause problems for SRS because the tissue down there is used when then 'change' you over...

Also, at the moment im taking Prozac, for all the good its done me, but it helps a little with the OCD -- Will that be a problem with hormones? Just worth knowing in future thats all.

Oh and lastley, will i have any idea how 'passable' i will be after all this? I know i dont want to be a guy forever, but being a guy in a dress isnt much of an improvement. You have to think how other people are going to react no matter how you feel.... would the doctors/therapists tell you if they thought you were going to turn out not that well?

P.S -- On a slightly unrelated note, since ive been buying me female clothes ive actually found sizes that FIT! I could never find mens clothes that fit, but im a size 12 in UK sizes.. its so nice to be able to buy a size that i know is right lol.

DanaJ
11-27-2005, 11:45 AM
Robert, I am the wrong one to give advice to you here, so I will just tell you good luck, and I really hope you get what you really want.

But, I am sure some of the other more experienced girls here can tell you better than I, make sure you are more than 90% sure. After all, this is a major life-changing move you want to do.

After reading some of your old posts, I don't get the idea that you even really dress much, or go out at all. Just a week ago you were hiding the fact and lying about you bought some stockings on eBay. I know it is tough, but if you are going to have life-altering sugery, in my opinion you need to start coming out a bit. And then there is the whole payment thing too, have you thought this through?

If I am off-base then I apologize in advance, I don't have a lot of experience with this but I wanted to throw out a few things for you to think about.... again, good luck ;)

P.S. You forgot the part about living full-time as a female for about a year, although I read that some can sort of skip by this step....

RachelDee
11-27-2005, 01:08 PM
Robert, I am the wrong one to give advice to you here, so I will just tell you good luck, and I really hope you get what you really want.

But, I am sure some of the other more experienced girls here can tell you better than I, make sure you are more than 90% sure. After all, this is a major life-changing move you want to do.

Well the 10% of me that isnt sure i think is just natual apprehension, how well it will work, will i be 'accepted' if i do and what will family and friends think of the change..


After reading some of your old posts, I don't get the idea that you even really dress much, or go out at all. Just a week ago you were hiding the fact and lying about you bought some stockings on eBay. I know it is tough, but if you are going to have life-altering sugery, in my opinion you need to start coming out a bit. And then there is the whole payment thing too, have you thought this through?

This is true, it all kind of happened like a snowball rolling down a hill. I was confused for a while, and It took me a lot of hard thinking to work out what it meant for me, and i realised that it wasent just some 'fetish' or 'sexual' thing - I dress in private all the time as long as i can, i just feel comfortable that way, i feel like me. I know people might say to think on it longer? But i feel more sure about myself than ever, including, finalyl accepting myself and being open about it with some people.

I am going to tell my close family (apart from my sister who already knows) soon, im just trying to pick the right moment.

As i said I have told my Sister about this, and she said she would help me in future telling people. As for payment, i assume you mean the cost of SRS/HRT and such? Well as im in the UK im hoping that the NHS can fund this transition, its something i will have to discuss.



If I am off-base then I apologize in advance, I don't have a lot of experience with this but I wanted to throw out a few things for you to think about.... again, good luck ;)

It's fine, any opinion is appreciated. :) Though i wouldnt want someone to say "OMFG YOU IDIOT" but you know what i mean. And thankyou! I hope it works out too.


P.S. You forgot the part about living full-time as a female for about a year, although I read that some can sort of skip by this step....

Yeah i think i did mention RLT, as one of the things that bothers me. Not the living as a women part, the living as a women without sufficiant changes to make me fit that role.... Im sorry but a guy in a dress 'in public' would seem an aful thing to do to someone before they consider them 'worthy' of the surgery.

However as i said, the SRS will come last for me as its the most 'major' change. I would hope that as i go through the steps i am able to alter my appreance so that by the time i get to this stage im already living as a female full time....

MandyTS
11-27-2005, 01:58 PM
Robert, first let me say, wow what a loaded question!


Anyway im just wondering what happens usually... the way i picture it in my head (which might be nieve?) is like this...


Generally it goes something like this...

1. Discover that you have some sort of gender issues (could take along time)2. Come to the realization that you need professonal help
3. Gender therapy, 3 months of self discovery before hormones will be admninistered
4. Start of hormones (oestrogen and some sort of t-blocker) continue seeing therapist
5. Start electrolysis (if not started earlier)
6. Start coming out slowly to parents, family, friends, etc (if not already done).
7. Go through second puberty (hormone induced changes)
8. Start voice therapy, think about or plan voice surgery if desired
9. Get FFS (not required)
10. Start RLT
11. Plan SRS
12. Complete RLT, have SRS
13. Live the rest of your life.


In between all that of course id start changing my apperance as i develop to match. I mean 'day 1' starting on hormones i couldnt go out with lipstick and eyeliner in a dress for instance... that wouldnt help anyone. I would be a guy in a dress, not someone transitioning in a dress.


Starting to transistion is not always about wearing lipstick and dresses. Little things start to change early. Little things like feminine mannerisms creep in, your voice patterns can be worked on, etc. Clothing can become more androgious and time goes on, ears can be pierced, etc. Some of us feel that we can dress fully for therapy of live part time during the beginning stages of therapy. I personally have been to the therapist as Mandy and while I sort of look like a guy I can realativly pass now (no hormones yet). I might be in a different situation though.


It's just i have heard about some 'torturious' things that people have mentioned. Like RLT, where you have to live as a women for a year before the SRS is even considered... well once i am passable during the therapy i would be doing that anyway. I am not going to go out though still looking like a 'guy' for obvious reasons -- No matter how i feel about myself, other people will more than likley be freaked out to see a 'guy' in a dress, not to mention it might cause problems (such as discrimination/violence? virbal abuse) anyway.

I also heard that some doctors are really strict about transexuals and go into depth about private matters. Im worried that i might be denied help even though i know how i feel. I wouldnt regret SRS, its not the end of the world losing... that.... i dont need it to live. But it does cause me discomfort knowing its there and a big reminder that im just a guy.... However i would still want to do that 'last' as its the most serious..

That is your choice, the question is where do you draw the line for that. It really depends on how passable you are and how well you blend in. If you are dressed appropratly no one will really care and as long as you don't get into any legal intanglements then you should not have any problems. Someone once said you should not even think about RLT until wearing adroginous clothing you are constiently mistaken as being female by looks. Voice might be another indicator but that can be changed via surgery (which is my choice).

Therapists are paid to probe into your deepest life to understand things. A good therapist is not there to say whether you are gender disphoric or not, they are there to faciliatate understanding in yourself. I was very worried about this but after talking to my therapist she said simply don't worry about having to prove you are who you are, that is not the goal of therapy. (this was in relation to talking about some sexual feelings I had in regards to one piece of clothing that was new and strange to me). If you are not 100% open to yourself it is hard to understand exactly what the solution is.


The thing is i hear that if you take hormones, the urrm, im looking for a tasteful word to describe it here :P umm the bits between your legs shrink and you become sterile after a time... but that can cause problems for SRS because the tissue down there is used when then 'change' you over...

Yes it has been noted their will be shrinkage. Hey if you have a problem though look at me, my male part is lets just say small (probably 1/3rd or less the size of yours) and they can do SRS for me (with skin grafts). You will loose sexual function though, which if you currently have it may be an issue, I have never so I can not understand what they would be like although I have been given a taste (will be in the book I am writing).


Oh and lastley, will i have any idea how 'passable' i will be after all this? I know i dont want to be a guy forever, but being a guy in a dress isnt much of an improvement. You have to think how other people are going to react no matter how you feel.... would the doctors/therapists tell you if they thought you were going to turn out not that well?

Passable is a good question. I can not say how passable you will be, it really depends on your age, how much testosterone has changed your bone structure, etc. Someone like me with age on my side should have a never good result (although I never had the masculine effects of testosterone). There are things like FFS that can make a very big difference in all of this. There have been alot of good results though and those are the things to really look at. No matter what the outcome if you feel like a woman then who cares.

Good Luck!

Mandy

RachelDee
11-27-2005, 02:26 PM
Thankyou for that mandy! :thumbsup:


Robert, first let me say, wow what a loaded question!

Generally it goes something like this...

1. Discover that you have some sort of gender issues (could take along time)2. Come to the realization that you need professonal help
3. Gender therapy, 3 months of self discovery before hormones will be admninistered
4. Start of hormones (oestrogen and some sort of t-blocker) continue seeing therapist
5. Start electrolysis (if not started earlier)
6. Start coming out slowly to parents, family, friends, etc (if not already done).
7. Go through second puberty (hormone induced changes)
8. Start voice therapy, think about or plan voice surgery if desired
9. Get FFS (not required)
10. Start RLT
11. Plan SRS
12. Complete RLT, have SRS
13. Live the rest of your life.


I think im at about 3 or 4 right now. Maybe my therapist will want me to think on this more, but im ready if they will let me make some progress. I have done enough thinking and talking i think, i dont think more talk will help me discover anything else... I wonder if i should see my GP directley. I know the therapist im seeing said i didnt need to see anyone else with regards to my issues but im sure he thinks im just a crossdresser at the moment. I explained to him that i was still trying to figure out what it meant to me and its taken me a while. Now i feel acceptance with myself and i feel this is the choice i want to make.



Starting to transistion is not always about wearing lipstick and dresses. Little things start to change early. Little things like feminine mannerisms creep in, your voice patterns can be worked on, etc. Clothing can become more androgious and time goes on, ears can be pierced, etc. Some of us feel that we can dress fully for therapy of live part time during the beginning stages of therapy. I personally have been to the therapist as Mandy and while I sort of look like a guy I can realativly pass now (no hormones yet). I might be in a different situation though.[/quote}

True, i was just trying to emphiize it a little. What you said it probably what i would do, change gradually into clothes that are not really male or female. Wouldnt want to do it go OTT.

[quote]That is your choice, the question is where do you draw the line for that. It really depends on how passable you are and how well you blend in. If you are dressed appropratly no one will really care and as long as you don't get into any legal intanglements then you should not have any problems. Someone once said you should not even think about RLT until wearing adroginous clothing you are constiently mistaken as being female by looks. Voice might be another indicator but that can be changed via surgery (which is my choice).

What you said about RLT is good, that would be fine with me. I just took it that some people around the web put it like the therapist forced you to live like that full-time before they would take you seriously... even if you still looked like a guy in a dress.


Therapists are paid to probe into your deepest life to understand things. A good therapist is not there to say whether you are gender disphoric or not, they are there to faciliatate understanding in yourself. I was very worried about this but after talking to my therapist she said simply don't worry about having to prove you are who you are, that is not the goal of therapy. (this was in relation to talking about some sexual feelings I had in regards to one piece of clothing that was new and strange to me). If you are not 100% open to yourself it is hard to understand exactly what the solution is.

Good to know too, I feel at the moment that i might have to fight to get what i want. That maybe they will want to keep therapy going and talking indefinatley... I know what i want and what i feel. If they have some sort of test that says if im eligable or not and i dont pass it then that would be a nightmare.


Yes it has been noted their will be shrinkage. Hey if you have a problem though look at me, my male part is lets just say small (probably 1/3rd or less the size of yours) and they can do SRS for me (with skin grafts). You will loose sexual function though, which if you currently have it may be an issue, I have never so I can not understand what they would be like although I have been given a taste (will be in the book I am writing).

Well as long as SRS can still be done i dont mind, im just wondering if it shrinks too much that SRS could not be viable so maybe hormones should come after SRS... which means a long period without them. I do have 'sexual function' of sorts, it just feels wrong at the moment, I do worry that SRS could leave me sort of.... unable to feel anything at all. Not sure how i would feel about that but this is just a small part of the whole thing, maybe its a price i will have to pay.



Passable is a good question. I can not say how passable you will be, it really depends on your age, how much testosterone has changed your bone structure, etc. Someone like me with age on my side should have a never good result (although I never had the masculine effects of testosterone).

Well i have some (not very good) pics of me... urrm here

http://images.faceparty.com/public/1349/images/roberth_16274060.jpg
http://images.faceparty.com/public/1349/images/roberth_16274084.jpg

It's just my opinion but i think male hormones had sort of a half-arsed effect on me. I only have mild facial hair... hardley any on the side, its mostley on the chin. But i will need some electrolosys i just dont know what i could get support with from the NHS. Would they pay for the voice and FFS if i wanted it... i have my doubts. They will no doubt want to do as little as possible hmm....


There are things like FFS that can make a very big difference in all of this. There have been alot of good results though and those are the things to really look at. No matter what the outcome if you feel like a woman then who cares.

Good Luck!

Yeah well i guess the thing is, if i will end up 'single' for life if you know what i mean. Friendship and relationshops are things to think about, would i cut myself off from them for good if i didnt turn out that well... :confused: thats what i wonder.

Thankyou for the comments! Was helpful :)

Maria D
11-27-2005, 03:23 PM
Mandy makes a lot of sense, but in the UK, if you use the NHS route, they MIGHT stipulate an RLT of several months before prescribing hormones. Indeed, a highly respected psychiatrist who left the NHS to treat people privately is being brought before the GMC early next year, because he has done the shockingly unspeakable and prescribed hormones to people before they had any type of RLT. Personnaly, I think the NHS way is barbaric and want no part in it, but private care IS expensive.

Robert, I know how you feel, and I'm willing to bet you are eager to do it all, right now now now. That's understandable, and in practical terms there are some things you CAN do now to get things moving, before you get to see the NHS.

Start Electrolysis, laser or IPL hair removal now. It takes ages to work, and will make a HUGE difference to your femininity. Beard shadow is one of those visual clues that says 'man' very strongly. The bonus is, you can do this while not out without attracting too much comment.
Start practicing a feminine voice. Again, it takes time to perfect.
Start learning feminine mannerisms. Nothing dramatic like a finishing school, just watch what women are like around you, and emulate them. You might look a bit camp, but so what? That's not a big price if it helps you become who you are, right?
All the above will really help, and need to be started early on. Also, should you change your mind later, they are not drastic things to have done, and won't cause a problem with you being a man again.

Mandy's right about 'passing'. You can't say how you'll look, but more importantly, how you'll feel about yourself. For instance, a famous pop singer from Girl's Aloud (I hate pop grrr) recently admitted that she feels like crying when she looks in the mirror, since she feels ugly, fat and has cankles. If I looked like her, I'd be over the moon!
And there's the real thing right there: it's how you feel about yourself that matters. You might spend thousands on surgery for many years and STILL not be 'feminine enough' to be happy. When I started going out, I looked like a man in a skirt. This is mainly because I was a man in a skirt. After having done that, it gave me the confidence I needed to start 'just being me', and to stop worrying about what other people thought. For what it's worth, though I got the odd stare, no one has ever freaked out, so don't worry about that.
The hardest thing for me was my own fear, IT kept me locked in my house, and only by going out did I cure it. One thing to remember is that, unless you leave your whole history behind, erase all links to family and friends, move and start again, someone, somewhere will always know you are transgendered. I'm not trying to be scary, it's just a probable truth I had to face. So however 'passable' I may become, I'll always be 'the one who used to be a man' to someone. I'll never be a girl. I'll always be transgendered, even if I look like a girl. Again, once I accepted this, passablility didn't seem so important, as long as I'm happy in myself. Ultimately, that's what transition is giving me. It's not about becoming a girl, it's about becoming happy with my body.
Of course, I can only speak about myself since everyone is different :)

As to hormones, estrogen made me sterile within 3 months, as in a 0 count, so when my fiancee changed her mind about storing sperm, I had to stop for 3 months. My count went back to normal until I went back on them again. The reversibility drops the longer you are on hormones until it becomes permenant, so you may want to consider storing sperm for the future. Hospitals do charge every year for this btw.
The testicles and skin do shrink, yes, but as Mandy says, it's not usually a problem.

BTW, the way it works in the UK is:
1) See GP. GP will refer you to a Gender Identity Clinic (GIC) locally, or if there isn't one, to Charring Cross (CX).
2) You wait.
3) You wait some more.
4) If you haven't died of old age, you get an appointment. They see you and either ask for an RLT or, if you have been making steps yourself (coming out to people, IPL, your own RLT etc) they might prescribe hormones.
They are also the gateway to further treatments down the line, like FFS, SRS etc.

Seriously though, be prepared to wait if you use the NHS. The current waiting list for Leeds where I live is 200 people long. They are currently treating about 17 people a year. So in theory, if I asked the GP to refer me, I could see them for the first time in 2017. This is why I went private.

Lastly, keep thinking. Question yourself and your motives. Be very sure you want this. If you answer every question with 'yes, I do want to take this really hard path' then best of luck, you'll need it.

Take care, and whatever you do decide, I hope it works out for you. I'm sure plenty of people on this board will be here to help. :)
Maria
xxx

MandyTS
11-27-2005, 03:39 PM
I needed to start 'just being me', and to stop worrying about what other people thought. For what it's worth, though I got the odd stare, no one has ever freaked out, so don't worry about that.
The hardest thing for me was my own fear, IT kept me locked in my house, and only by going out did I cure it. One thing to remember is that, unless you leave your whole history behind, erase all links to family and friends, move and start again, someone, somewhere will always know you are transgendered. I'm not trying to be scary, it's just a probable truth I had to face. So however 'passable' I may become, I'll always be 'the one who used to be a man' to someone. I'll never be a girl. I'll always be transgendered, even if I look like a girl. Again, once I accepted this, passablility didn't seem so important, as long as I'm happy in myself. Ultimately, that's what transition is giving me. It's not about becoming a girl, it's about becoming happy with my body.

Maria you nailed it on the head!

I Learned this about 2 months ago... it is about accepting yourself. I don't give a rats a$$ if people know I am transgendered or used to "look" like a guy (not be a guy because I am really neither male or female right now). My goal is to look in the mirror someday and say, wow the girl I have been all my life is looking back at me. Actually I see that girl in my now, no matter if I am wearing makeup, clothing or not. That is the step you need to go through before you can know you are ready for transistion.

As Maria said search yourself. I therapist can only go by what you say or don't say and can only make recomendation. You are the only one who can pop the pill or inject the drugs, etc. You are the one who had to transistion. Transistioning is as much mental as it is physical. Once you believe 100% that you are a girl you are almost there...


BTW I think you could do well, I can not say how much but you look quite young compared to many here! You look about my age too!

Mandy

MandyTS
11-27-2005, 05:45 PM
Hi.

Mandy, I think it's great that you feel you can tell the world to bug off, but there are more people out there who can sometimes do that and some who can't. There are those who can't do it at all and there are people like you who can say "f" the world.

I'm not a person who can say "f" off to the world. I live in this world and hurtful things do hurt, the do cause me to second guess myself sometimes, but I won't ever stop being me.

<snip>


Unfountitly no one can say... "F" the world, because we all live in the real world. What I personally am saying is that to a point anyone who is TS, etc. needs to think like that because if we are only concerned with what other people are going to think about us then why even go through it. We all have jobs, careers for some, wives once again for some etc.

To be honest there are about 20 - 30 people in the world who I care about that need to be concerned with me.

1. My parents and sisters
2. My closest friends
3. My boss and intermediate coworkers
4. My main professors
5. The interviewers when I go to start teaching full time
6. The police officer who pulls me over some night

For some of you it may be more or less. Now how hard do you you think telling this small group of people is --- HARD! I have recieved comments about things all my life, from elementry to high school and even a bit in college. I never had lots of friends but I survived, you can too. Am I saying it is easy -- NO! Are some people not as strong willed as me -- YES!

Every person who transistions needs to understand that they will have their own challenges... I could list mine her but it would probably take way too much bandwith. I am part of a few support groups, I know people who have transistioned are are living post SRS now. I now people in the middle, RLT or on hormones. I know people who are CDs. I will not kid you, it is a hard road but once you realize how hard it can be then you can make YOUR OWN DECISION!

Gracie is right, no one can do it, expecially on an internet forum. Go find a local support group, talk to people face to face, call some people on the phone. I will not hide the fact that I am not in "hormonal" transisition yet but I know from the research I have done and the people I have talked too what will happen. We are all different and that is what scares me. What I can talk about is what goes on mentally in someone that is intersexed, gender dysphoric, etc. Transistion is not just a technicality, I know who I am and that is what is important.

Just remember IT IS YOUR CHOICE... listen to anyone here or not. Read some of the horror stories of transistion and you can see why.

Mandy

Maria D
11-27-2005, 08:13 PM
Gracie, you have a point, but advice about how to proceed, for instance, is useful. Robert didn't know the medical system works, so I explained a bit. Now she can go to the right person, and start her own process.
Other aspects, like 'hair removal takes a long time' surely also helps? Practical advice can help people avoid some of the pitfalls that await the unwary. Of course everyone's life is different, and has different needs and requirements. Most mountains are different to climb, but it's a safe bet most get cold at the top, so to recommend thermals to someone is probably a good tip.

The most important things anyone needs to think about are the other people around them, and whether to actually transition. Ultimately, only that person knows how to proceed in their life. It IS their life, and THEY suffer the consequences of any actions taken. I bear that in mind when I post, and try to ensure that, though I can offer advice on how to avoid pitfalls along a certain path, only they can decide whether they want to walk that path, and whether they really want to get to where that path leads. I think that's better than seeing people walking blindly. I never push them in either direction.

Phases, yes, you have a point. That's not something that can really be advised on or predicted; just deal with them as and when they happen, whatever they are. That applies to all aspects of life.

Regarding the attitude of being yourself and stuff the world, do you ever wonder how many people you know present a persona to you, designed to keep you happy despite the fact that it hurts them? Hopefully not many.
Of the people I know, I tend to assume that the persona I see is who they are, and I'd hate someone to hurt themselves every day just to keep me happy, or to avoid losing my love, or because they thought I'd leave them. Put like this, doing that seems so silly. I'd just want them to be happy.
And yet...
Other people don't always feel like that, do they? They don't want the mask to slip, or they comment on your differences. Non-conformity seems to be a cardinal sin in this society, and people can be harsh. Funny isn't it? In school bullies were told off. In adulthood, you can mentally torture people so much more, and it's legal too.
How anyone deals with that is very personal. Some it doesn't touch, others are destroyed. I don't know how to advise on that, other than that a psychiatrist is probably the best person to speak to. But then that's always the best advice, isn't it? See a specialist, whatever your issue is. :)

Take care,
Maria.
xxx

Amelie
11-27-2005, 08:55 PM
Hi Maria,

Brilliant post. I totally agree with everything you said, especially the part about seeing a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist.

Gracie


I'm trying,,,,,one day,,,maybe,, who knows.

Thanks Gracie, your posts have helped me.

TGMarla
11-28-2005, 11:10 AM
Well, Robert, many of us have struggled with these desires, and on a broad spectrum, we have all landed, sooner or later or not yet, somewhere on that sliding scale.

It's a big step. Minds change, but I'm not going to transition ever. That makes me sad in some ways, but makes me happier in many others. It frees my mind up to pursue my transgendered nature without the struggle involved in such a choice as transitioning.

Do as you will, and my hope is that you will be happy with it. But I would also have you read a blog from a successfully transitioned post-operative transexual. Her story is certainly not the same for everyone, but it is an eye opening blog. Read it here (http://www.missfiorella.com/t-girl.htm).

RachelDee
11-28-2005, 02:58 PM
Sorry if i miss anyone out here, but ill try and add too it if i did. I apologize in advance im not ignoring you.

Maria D's description of the NHS route is depressing. I felt quite down after reading that :( I really do hope its not like that here (Lincoln). I don't know if i could afford to go private for treatment, isnt it going to cost around &#163;15,000-&#163;35,000?? :eek: The thing is i suffer from OCD which may or may not be a result of this gender issue, im hoping that during my transition i can get treated for the OCD at the same time and hopefully doing this will free me from it.

I read all the time how its important to make sure you make the right choice, and take time to do so but i also read that the earlier in your life you have treatment the better it is for you.

I want to be a young transexual :) not middle aged (or 'older'). I want to try and get the most from whats left of my youth as it were, that ive not really done much with it so far. I think it will be a lot easyer for me to transition sooner and build a life than to have to put it on 'hold' or get a life and have it shaken by the transition later. So its important to me that i decide, and that i decide accuratley and swiftley, at least thats how i see it :confused:.

MandyTS we are the same age it seems. Thankyou for your input.

I'll admit I was bullied at school because i was 'different' i doubt they thought 'HEY HE IS A TRANSEXUAL' but im guessing they picked up on the fact that i wasent doing what every other 'guy' did. I didn't really think at the time 'IM THE WRONG GENDER' i just assumed that it was part of my personality that that there must be other people like it too... maybe they just didnt talk about it or i was just wierd so i should just hide it as best i could and get on with it. Thinking back on my experiences, and having read up a little, it fits very neatley into the whole gender issues. I am concerned that i might encounter 'discrimination' and verbal abuse and such, but what can i do? Just stay like i am and be unhappy because its easyer? Thats what it would feel like..

My therapist deals with OCD, but he also has been listening to my problems with gender. At the moment we are in the 'crossdressing' talks, he has been urging me to keep exploring and try and make sense of it to myself. Well i finally did and i can't explain why, but i feel more sure of it than anything. I believe this is what i want. :)

TGMarla I have seen that site, i read it when it was posted on here before. I must admit i didnt find it that helpful, there were some good points in there but overall it wasnt a very typical view on this, she seemed quite angry about something but thats just what i thought.... I'm sure there are people that go through transition for the wrong reasons, but my reasons are not because i want to play with myself after or anything (its not for any sexual reason which seem to be the big mistakes) I just want to be comfortable with myself and my body.

I spoke to my sister today, she wanted me to make sure its what i wanted before doing anything or telling anyone (my parents) she has been supportive enough and wants to help i believe. She asked me if i could wait till after Christmas to take more time to think about it (I wanted to see the GP and get refered to someone, either a specialist to talk to or/and as a gateway to treatment) before mentioning it.

I feel that there might be some family issues when this finally comes to light. I believe my dad will be upset, and concerned what other people will think, and my mum will be upset and probably blame herself. The thing is, living at home might become a bit of a nightmare after so im going to have to be prepared mentally to either stick it out, or move out. With OCD this is a little more difficult but its not like i have a choice.

I guess i can wait till after Christmas, though i admit id like to go into this christmas season with everything off my chest (no pun intended) but it may just spoil it for my parents and myself (and maybe others too?) so no matter how much i want to tell them, it probably is best that i wait.

Maybe ill feel differentley after Christmas (which is what my sister thought) but if not...

Nyx
12-01-2005, 12:34 AM
I know estradiol will not interfere with prozac. I don't think spironolactone would either, but you might want to consult an endocrynologist on that one!

Deborah
12-01-2005, 04:37 AM
Hi Maria,

Brilliant post. I totally agree with everything you said, especially the part about seeing a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist.

Gracie

Psychiatrist (M.D)
Psychologist (PhD)
Therapist (Masters degree)
Psychotherapist (specialized Therapist)
Behavioral Specialist (Bachelors Degree)