Some thoughts on passing LOL

[I Am Paula]

We've all read hundreds of threads on passing, on feminine movement, and mannerisms. How about these female idiosyncracies? The not so pleasant, but all too real feminine traits.
#1- At the meer site of a raised toilet seat, for any reason other than manintanance or cleaning, begin ranting "All I ask is one little tiny thing... How hard can it be to just?... they can put a man on the moon, but lower a toilet seat, nooo".
#2- When asked if you need to use the toilet before you leave, simply reply "I'm fine". Two minutes, or two blocks later, ask to find a restroom.
#3- Stand in line to make a purchase for ten minutes, then when the SA gives you the total, dig into your purse like it never occured to you that you may need your wallet soon. Try to pay with exact change, even if it means counting out seventy one pennies.
Please read with the humour that was intended. I love everything women do.-Celeste

[Lady Catherine]

I love it!! very funny.

[Cynthia Anne]

At least I don't raise the toilet seat! For the rest of it; well I guess I'm not perfect afterall!!!!!!!!!!!!

[suzy1]

When you drive your car always hog the middle lane on the motorway, never ever touch the indicator stalk, drive so slowly on a minor road that you appear to be stationery, when you try to park the car dedicate the entire afternoon to it, if you have a girlfriend next to you go into a deep conversation with her never braking eye contact, only turn the lights on when its really really dark and then only the parking lights.

Yes Celeste, I love them too.

[audreyinalbany]

when shopping you have to either pick up or at least touch everything you're the least bit interested in....

[Roberta Marie]

We've all read hundreds of threads on passing, on feminine movement, and mannerisms. How about these female idiosyncracies? The not so pleasant, but all too real feminine traits.
#1- At the meer site of a raised toilet seat, for any reason other than manintanance or cleaning, begin ranting "All I ask is one little tiny thing... How hard can it be to just?... they can put a man on the moon, but lower a toilet seat, nooo".
#2- When asked if you need to use the toilet before you leave, simply reply "I'm fine". Two minutes, or two blocks later, ask to find a restroom.
#3- Stand in line to make a purchase for ten minutes, then when the SA gives you the total, dig into your purse like it never occured to you that you may need your wallet soon. Try to pay with exact change, even if it means counting out seventy one pennies.
Please read with the humour that was intended. I love everything women do.-Celeste

All three describe me, even when I'm in guy mode. Even when I was deep in the closet I prefered to sit down unless in a public rest room and there is a urinal. So, when one of my sons leaves the seat up, or worse, when someone leaves the seat down and pees all over it, I tend to b&$ch. And I've always tried to pay with exact change. So, I don't think it has anything to do with needing to pass.

[Roberta Marie]

When you drive your car always hog the middle lane on the motorway, never ever touch the indicator stalk, drive so slowly on a minor road that you appear to be stationery, when you try to park the car dedicate the entire afternoon to it, if you have a girlfriend next to you go into a deep conversation with her never braking eye contact, only turn the lights on when its really really dark and then only the parking lights.

Yes Celeste, I love them too.

This is just because you all drive on the left side of the road over there. It has something to do with women's buttons being on the left side of a blouse. LOL

[kellycan27]

Well Celeste.... If you've ever gotten up in the middle of the night to pee and have fallen into the loo.. you'd know why we complain about that one little thing. :heehee:

[Stephanie47]

I learned more than three decades ago to always keep the toilet seat DOWN. Our daughter decided to go potty in the middle of the night. She went to sit down and fell right into the bowl. Mountain river water is mighty cold all the time, all year. Anyway she cried. My wife yelled. Since then I always sit down in the night. I guess that's the sum of adult potty training for men!

[kimberly ann487]

For years,even before she knew about me, my wife bragged about how I always put the seat down whenever the subject came up in conversation. However recently a friend commented to me about how I shouldn't have had my money ready when we just checked out at Starbucks, lol.

[kimdl93]

wouldn't touch this with a 10 foot pole!

[kendra_gurl]

My masculine side says why the heck don't they just build residentual bathrooms with a toilet AND a urinal? Never have to have the seat argument again

[MsRenee]

Gonna just sit on the outside and see the responses here.
Renee

[Laura912]

Would like to add another 10 feet to Kim's pole.

[kellycan27]

My masculine side says why the heck don't they just build residentual bathrooms with a toilet AND a urinal? Never have to have the seat argument again

Because then we'd have two places to clean your pee off the floor.

[Marleena]

Because then we'd have two places to clean your pee off the floor.

Lol.. this thread is the best!:)

[Julie Denier]

If a woman can't bother to check if the seat is down before she sits, why should a man bother to check if it's up before he draws and fires? :D :devil:

[avant1465]

I had an interesting happening.... when I went to a theater in Fort Myers..... I knew there was an obscure/out-of-the-way pair of bathrooms..... and went to them during intermission..... When I arrived outside them, there was a woman in the foyer who told me that a lady was using the "Men's" room.... and I was to wait for her to emerge.....

WHEN she did (emerge) I entered.... and.... found... THAT THE TOILET SEAT WAS "UP"..... WTF !?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Anyhow... she was a pleasant older lady... and who was I to question what she did.... there in the "Men's" room?????

[Tracii G]

Oh My I am not going to touch this thread!!!

[julia marie]

Celeste. Thanks for the laughs. You hit the checkout line thing on the head. Do women hope that if they don't take out their wallets ahead of time that the SA might let them go with without paying? Don't forget that the thing to do before paying at the supermarket is to remember that you have four coupons tucked away, two of which are outdated.
On the toilet seat thing, I got sick of hearing about it years ago. So I suggested "turn on the light in the bathroom if you get up at night." Since I got resistance on that one, I started putting the seat and the lid down ALL the time, day or night. That ended the discussion, and, bonus, it keeps the dog from doing a self-serve water visit.

[Stephanie Miller]

I can see the humor in most issues from BOTH sides ....

The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
(Most of the 337 get thrown out a year late after being used once.)

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
Uses them as little as possible -
(He still cleans under his nails with a twig when out in the yard.)

[Stephenie S]

My masculine side says why the heck don't they just build residentual bathrooms with a toilet AND a urinal? Never have to have the seat argument again

While this is certainly true, I have to admit that I am a bit freaked when I find a urinal in a public bathroom. It happened just a few weeks ago. I stopped at a gas and convenience store. I found myself in a real unisex bathroom. Uh oh! What was THAT doing hanging there on the wall???? I went right out then and there and was embarrassed to find out it was genderless and the only one they had. I still was made uncomfortable when I had to go back in. Yuck!

Stephie

[Jilmac]

After shopping at the mall, get into your car, start the engine, shift into reverse with your foot on the brake as if you intend to back out of your parking space, then rummage through your purse for the next ten minutes. This will surely befriend the person waiting for your space and all the other cars behind him/her.

While lingerie shopping with your SO, have him/her hold your purse, standing in the lingerie department while you try on fifteen different bras. Then repeat the procedure in sportswear, shoes, cosmetics, and any other area that might have something to try on or sample.Then after the tour of the entire ladies department, decide not to buy anything there but go to the small appliance dept. and buy a new toaster.

When riding in the passenger seat with your SO driving, be sure to point out everything that he/she is doing wrong, after all, you know you've always been the most perfect driver on the road.

[Leah Lynn]

I was married for 38 years and NEVER could train her to put the seat back up when she was done!

[Inna]

"NOTHING" when spoken by a woman means "SOMETHING"

[Beverley Sims]

When working as a cleaner in public toilets, ALWAYS leave the seats up in the stalls.
The comments are:"They must have a male cleaner in this mall."
I was told this by a woman who used to love upsetting the clientele.
She enjoyed her job. :)

[I Am Paula]

Stephanie- If we started a thread on male idiosyncracies, faults, and insecurities, it may go on forever.-Celeste

[linda allen]

I thought the subject of "peeing" was taboo on this forum.

My wife and I got into the habit of leaving the toilet seat (and cover) down when we had a small dog who once jumped into the toilet and could have drowned.

On the subject of paying, I have noticed that men seem to just pay with bills and put the change in their pockets while women will pull out a coin purse and count out the exact change. I've gotten to the point where I just pay with a credit card and seldom use cash except for tips.

I think it you really want to pass, you'll have to learn to talk. A lot. A woman will take five minutes to say what a man will say in thirty seconds.

[I Am Paula]

I don't think anybody was talking about urination. We were talking about toilet seats, a subject that can be discussed openly at home depot, in front of the kids.

[linda allen]

My wife and I have a couple as friends and we go to dinner with them occasionally. I have also been to lunch with the female and my wife. We will sit down at the table with the menus and she will begin talking. My wife and I will make our choice but when the server comes to take our order, this female has not yet looked at the menu. Never. The server has to come back, sometimes twice before she has read the menu and figured out what she wants to eat.

If you're going to a restaurant to eat, isn't selecting what you want to eat kind of important?

[Jamie Christopher]

Great thread Celeste, thanks for a fun start to my day! Now what was I doing....

Jamie

[Julie Denier]

I think it you really want to pass, you'll have to learn to talk. A lot. A woman will take five minutes to say what a man will say in thirty seconds.

Which is why I would never pass ... well, that and being 6-2 and 288 ;)

[Aylineira]

LOL OMG I once was dressed en femme and when I went to go sit down on the toilet to do my business the seat was still up. I was like OMGWTF??? But the only person I have to blame is... myself

[Sarah Doepner]

After shopping arrive at your car with packages in hand and spend your time first feeling around the bottom of your purse for your car keys, then set your packages down and begin the search in earnest.

Actually, this is based on a real safety issue that many women need to address. Having your keys in hand before you get to your car gets you, your purse and your purchases in the car quickly and reduces the chance for someone to try and take advantage of your distraction.