Pre-Op but still legal

[Badtranny]

I would like to start a companion discussion to Kathryn's locker room dangle thread.

I would also like to limit the respondents to those that are ACTIVELY transitioning. I don't care what you would do or will do, I care about what you're actually doing in regard to this topic.

Many of us are deep into transitions and have had various procedures including what is required by your state to change the gender marker on your ID, but are still "with penis" for one reason or another.

What do you do, if anything, to deal with this, um, issue when you are in women's private spaces? Do you just let it hang out? Do you exercise extreme privacy? Are you embarrassed about it? Do you even think about it at all?

Let's tawlk, I'll put on a hot pot.

[Aprilrain]

I think the answer is simple. USE DISCRETION! I mean if its obvious you have a dangler in your panties keep it hidden, right?

I wear bikinis to the pool and have not had any problems, my "parts" are small and I tuck so there is little to "get in the way" visually.
If I had to I would feel comfortable stripping down to my underwear in a woman's locker room but i usually just go dressed for working out and leave that way too. If I have to shower I use a private stall. I'd be mortified if it somehow "fell out" and were dangling!!

[angpai30]

I haven't got to the bikini weight I want, but I do wear a bathing suit every now and then and I do tuck and I wasn't endowed with large parts either. I'm always asked how I make it look like I don't have a dangler at all. Though my tucks are far from perfect all the time as I can't seem to keep it tucked in a bikini and it comes loose I do try to take percautions when in places that should have maximum discretion emphasized. I do admit that I am overly embarrased that I still have a dangler. I feel incomplete by still having it and almost gut wrenching to the point where sometimes I have to stop and take a breather. The other day I was called my legal name and I was so embarrased by even being called my legal name. I loathe my legal name and wish I never had been given a male name, but I can't change the past. I can only change the future!!

Angela

[ReneeT]

I think the answer is simple. USE DISCRETION! I mean if its obvious you have a dangler in your panties keep it hidden, right?

I wear bikinis to the pool and have not had any problems, my "parts" are small and I tuck so there is little to "get in the way" visually.
If I had to I would feel comfortable stripping down to my underwear in a woman's locker room but i usually just go dressed for working out and leave that way too. If I have to shower I use a private stall. I'd be mortified if it somehow "fell out" and were dangling!!

What more can I say? I am in 100% agreement with April, although, not having had any TS-related procedures, I may not be qualified to comment anyways

[kellycan27]

What more can I say? I am in 100% agreement with April, although, not having had any TS-related procedures, I may not be qualified to comment anyways

And I think I've had too many. LOL

[Rianna Humble]

Many of us are deep into transitions and have had various procedures including what is required by your state to change the gender marker on your ID, but are still "with penis" for one reason or another.

I fall more or less into that category, I began transitioning just over 2 years ago, but am not yet able to afford the legal papers over here that would let me have a new birth certificate. My driving license has a code built in that (if you understand it) says that I am a woman. I have a medical barrier to becoming whole :cry:


What do you do, if anything, to deal with this, um, issue when you are in women's private spaces?

I think that for me there are two issues here. Once is "Women's spaces" and the other is "private spaces". I only ever use the women's toilet wherever I am and I will be taking part in a demonstration in a few weeks which has been designated for women only - both of those are women's spaces. The cubicles in the ladies' loo are private spaces and I would be horrified if someone wanted to verify what is between my legs before allowing me to enter such a cubicle. In the shared area, I am always modestly attired and am welcomed as the woman that I am.

However, I recently went for a trial membership of a gym near to where I work and the staff showed me where the ladies' changing room was situated. I never actually made it through the door though, because those women I saw from the doorway were in a state of total undress. I would currently be embarrassed to be in that state alongside them and wouldn't want to show off my birth defect anyway. I had to compromise by using the only single-user facility on the premises even though that was normally for someone who has a physically disability. In a large part, that is why I never converted my membership.

[Michelle.M]

Well, I am legal. I think the only women's space that I don't use is a locker room. Even as a guy I didn't use shared locker rooms unless time constraints made it necessary, as it was always more convenient to just go home sweaty and shower and change there. But I do use bathrooms, changing rooms, and I pretty much go anywhere I please without any issues.

Hmmm . . . well, I have been in nothing but bikini panties within arm's length of a woman who gave me spray tans, I have been to the pool several times in my bikini and have even done some lingerie modeling (again, within arm's reach of someone who was looking at me).

So far, Mr Happy's hideaway hasn't been noticed.

[Badtranny]

My barrier to entry comment was to keep the thread informative to people like Pam who has just begun to deal with stuff like this as well as myself since I'm only been a legal female for a few months and I've certainly not seen every situation ...yet. I just didn't want the thread cluttered up with fence sitters or part-timers who may or may not have something interesting to say, but it would be pointless anyway cuz they haven't actually lived it. It's hard to intellectualize something like embarrassment or chutzpah. I wanted for once to have an honest and forthright discussion with actual transitioners (even post-op) about a topic that I don't see discussed very often.

[DeeDee1974]

I have been transitioning for just about 2 years. I rarely go into the locker room at my gym, I just come dressed. There have been times due to a busy schedule that I have changed in the locker room. I try to stay away from the other women, keep my locker open and face into the locker as much as possible. I never take off my underwear. I always go straight home and never shower there.

I had never swam publicly until this September. 3 of my girlfriends and I got together for a 40th birthday celebration at a resort in southern CA. I wasn't thrilled, but that's what the birthday girl wanted. My tucking skills leave a bit to be desired because generally for comforts sake I don't. I wore a cover up most of the time while my friends frolicked in their bikinis in the water. They finally convinced me to come in. I took off my cover up, held it in front of me until I got to the water, tossed it aside and went in. As a joke one of my friends grabbed my cover up and brought it back to my lounge chair. I had to walk back unprotected, but the bulge was barely noticeable and I even laid out without my cover up on for a while.

[SuzanneBender]

No RLE for this gal yet only part time outings, but I did want to say that I love the post and its helpful for us that are still in the beginning of our journey to see how those further down the trail are dealing with these issues.

[stefan37]

I for one find these discussions useful. I may not agree with or disagree with points, but the discourse allows me to rationally find my way through this minefield. I have been swimming regularly 2-3000 yds weekly for about 3 years now at the y.
I have been on hormones and to blocker for 20 weeks and my breasts although not larger than a male with gynecomastia
and hidden well under clothing, while shirtless have more female shape than a male's would. While I still use the men's locker room and swim bare chested I am starting to feel more self conscious about showing them in public. I have been researching full swim suits without a bikini style bottom. I would really hate to wear a womens suit and have things that should be hidden pop out. How I will handle the situation in the future is still uncertain. Unfortunately I appear male even with a female haircut,
clothing and other small details. Considering the cost of electrolysis which is draining my small reserve quickly I am still only less than 1/2 way form the looks of it even after 120 hours. I have considerable financial obligations both business and family to address before considering any type of body surgery and realistically they would be not something I could afford anytime soon. Thank god I have met people that have transitioned and have had through surgeries, are actively transitioning and dealing with marital difficulties, friends that while they may not understand it are supportive of my decision to transition. I had a great therapist that was extremely insightful but he moved to another state. So anyway getting back on topic even after I socially transition I will have to deal with an inoperative apparatus for quite some time. I had a post written last night in the other topic post but forum devils lost my my log in and it was late. We are still without power( I have a small generator for lights, heat and my business office.) and I got in late and will be out early. The storm has really helped my business, but it is heartbreaking because so many of my friends and family have suffered devastating losses. The most important is we are all safe but we still face many hardships in the coming months. I will be heading to the warzone at the Jersey shore to help friends restore their power and heat.

[morgan51]

I feel it necessary to use the family side of our locker rooms. They are private and single use I sure would not feel comfortable in a womens only space untill srs. Like Stefan I am n longer comfortable swimming bare chested and will cover up to swim or any other poolside activity.

[Inna]

Truthfully I don't really think it is so much an issue of dangling particulars but an issue of dangling particulars from obviously male bodied TGwoman!!!!

And you thought I will restrain from the controversial subject at hand................................NOT! :eek:

If a Brazilian supermodel TG girl :doll: would be washing up in the woman's locker room, and have her dangling thingy , well.....dangling :banana:, I think she would be more of a novelty item then a threatening and obscene presence. Others would have seen her as a woman with the hmmmmmmmmm....................lets say overgrown clitoris, :heehee: lol.

I truthfully don't think she would be seen as threat :bh:.

On the other hand , male bodied lipstick adored TGwoman naked in a girls locker room :facepalm:..................well.......you get the picture....................or do you :strugglin?!?!?!?

[Badtranny]

If a Brazilian supermodel TG girl ...

I see your point Inna Doll, and while it is true that exceptionally beautiful people can get a pass on almost anything (trust me I know this ;-*) I still think that Miss Brazil would cause a stir with her pickle dangling no matter how cute and tiny it was. Most of the world thinks of us as men who are just trying really hard, so the appearance of a penis anywhere near their precious daughters would likely be enough to have at least a couple of big strong daddies threaten to beat the hell out of Miss Brazil. Of course they would also want to screw her, but that's another topic altogether.

The issue here is discretion, plain and simple. Militant pickle chicks should just keep it in their pants or they will continue to put themselves in uncomfortable situations while making the entire pre-op community look like something sinister.

[kellycan27]

Truthfully I don't really think it is so much an issue of dangling particulars but an issue of dangling particulars from obviously male bodied TGwoman!!!!

And you thought I will restrain from the controversial subject at hand................................NOT! :eek:

If a Brazilian supermodel TG girl :doll: would be washing up in the woman's locker room, and have her dangling thingy , well.....dangling :banana:, I think she would be more of a novelty item then a threatening and obscene presence. Others would have seen her as a woman with the hmmmmmmmmm....................lets say overgrown clitoris, :heehee: lol.

I truthfully don't think she would be seen as threat :bh:.

On the other hand , male bodied lipstick adored TGwoman naked in a girls locker room :facepalm:..................well.......you get the picture....................or do you :strugglin?!?!?!?

Take the fact that the person in question was trans out of the equation... and what you end up with is someone who is exposing themselves to children. Need I or anyone else need to say more? IMHO if we can in even the most miniscule way justify this type of behavior ( because she's trans) .....we need to re-visit our values.

[Stephenie S]

What keeps getting ignored here (and I don't know why) is that women don't dangle ANYTHING in the locker room. I have never been in a women's locker room that doesn't have curtains on the shower stalls and doors on the toilet cubicles. That Brazilian super model would not be standing stark naked at the sink because women just don't DO that. They get dressed before they primp. Just like at home. Women are private creatures. We don't parade our stuff in public. Period!

S

Addendum: Parading your junk in public may be a "guy" thing. I don't know. But I do know that guys tend to sit that way, legs spread wide as if all the world wants to see.

[Inna]

Agreed............................................ .................................................. ....................................however,

Interestingly enough, the Womans locker room was brought up in the story. If there is a single most understanding segment of our society, it is women who understand and want to hear about our struggle and help us triumph over discrimination. I understand not all will be sharing an open heart, but as I experienced within my circle of friends, women were by far more understanding and were truly interested in talking and finding out. Guys..................well, what can I say, some stayed by, but majority went out of "eek" on their way away.

[Deborah_UK]

As someone almost three years full time, on hormones for 30 months I feel I can add my two pennorth.

I am a member at a gym but rarely go - that will change post surgery, I do not use the ladies changing room for the very reasons suggested throughout the thread, I have used the single facility famaily/disabled room, but feel exposed in doing so, people wondering why Im using that room and not the ladies. So until after surgery my visits have been rare.

At the golf club I will use the ladies locker room, because there is no where else and tbh I've usually got the changing room to myself anyway (i still play with male friends).

When on holiday I have a one piece bathing suit which has a built in skirt which also helps and I'm able to change in my apartment before and after sunbathing/swimming.

But after my post op recuperation period - just watch this girl go!!!! :D:devil::D

[Pamela Kay]

As Melissa said, I've only just started living full time. I am still a little apprehensive about using the ladies room and I would feel really uncomfortable trying to use a womens locker room before having SRS. Not that it can't be done and I'm glad others can do it with confidence, I'm just not there yet.

Locker rooms in general aren't places I choose to go if I can get out of it based on past history when I was growing up. I was always self concious about my body and didn't even wear shorts as a guy. I'm guessing this was due in part to the GID since I love to wear skirts now.

Since I've never been the athletic type the ladies rest room and the change room at clothing stores are about all I am dealing with now. Locker rooms haven't really been an issue for me.

Not yet anyway.

[Kathryn Martin]

....if we can in even the most miniscule way justify this type of behavior ( because she's trans) .....we need to re-visit our values.

Kelly, I wish I could applaud you out loud, because that is a heart of this isn't it. How far are we willing to go to justify this behavior for perceived political gain..... which invariably backfires and hurts especially the transsexual community....

I would like to say that during my transition I would not have been caught dead in any locker room. I am with Pam on this. I used washrooms to be safe when a family bathroom was not available and that was as far as it went. Last fall about 5 months before surgery we went to Cuba. I wore a tankini style bathing suit with a little skirt to ensure privacy. After all the little dangly things are a dead give away aren't they. They lie about who we are.

[Anna Lorree]

Locker rooms in general aren't places I choose to go if I can get out of it based on past history when I was growing up. I was always self concious about my body and didn't even wear shorts as a guy. I'm guessing this was due in part to the GID since I love to wear skirts now.

I always felt the same way when growing up.

Anna

[juno]

I have a women's low-back stripper style thong that I keep on when sharing space with naked women, and nothing shows. Maybe if I get further along and I look more like a woman with a large clitoris, I might not worry about brief exposure. For now, I really thing it would get in the way of other women really accepting me as female.

[Persephone]

On somewhat rare occassions I have seen women nude in the open spaces of locker/dressing rooms while they changed or came to/from the showers. I recall having a conversation, in a locker room in London, with a woman who stripped nude, toweled herself off, and casually changed into her street clothes while we were chatting.

Personally, as long as any "dangly bits" remained I would avoid their appearance in such places. First of all, Kelly is absolutely right, of course. Most important, it is a totally unreasonable and unjust imposition on other women. It is a "women's private space" and such graphic displays of male genitilia, regardless of whom they might be attached to, is grossly inappropriate.

And, as Rianna mentioned, there are other forms of "female private spaces" that should be respected as well. If you are going to be a member of a female club or group or even conversation or if you are going to be in the open areas of places like the women's dressing rooms in bridal shops and so forth, then the privacy of that space should be respected as well. Your more male parts, components, attitudes, and behaviors belong on the other side of that door. If you can't belong as a woman, then you do not belong there at all. Period.

Now, that said, if you are transitioning and are at the point where full participation in women's activities is appropriate, then it may very well be appropriate for you to be in locker rooms or any other female private space. But wandering around with "dangly bits" on the loose? Emphatically, absolutely, positiviely NO. And frankly, if anyone feels that is appropriate behavior, then they are a long, long way from being ready to be in such places.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[SandraAbsent]

I haven't posted in a while, so what a better thread to start back up on. I exercise extreme caution in these situations. Why put myself in a position to create confrontation? When the restroom is busy, I wait until it's not busy. If I am going to and from the beach, I change in private, if not at home before I leave and after I get home. The only way I would ever enter a locker room, would be if I was given permission in advance. Like most everyone that has posted, I am at the bare minimum full-time, and have to deal with situations like this every day. I've never had a confrontational conversation, and I believe the fact that I use a tremendous amount of caution is 100% the reason why.

If you stick around the trans community long enough you hear people screaming that it is their absolute right to use these spaces, just as any other woman would, without regard. I could not agree less. Insisting on violating the private spaces of women who may not be in the position to understand our situation is asking for trouble, it increases further segregation, and hints of the nasty male privilege. A better solution is education and discussion prior to. It frustrates me, because I see so many examples of this, where the intentions were either not good, or they were done to be exhibitionist, and the behavior is not limited to CDrs or Fetishist. I've seen it from full time TS woman too, and it makes me sad. (See the well documented incidents between "Camp Trans" and the "Michigan Womyns Music Festival".) Use discretion, use common sense, and be unselfish. Remember that not only are your actions effecting yourself, but they effect every other transitioning woman and how people perceive her too.

[Badtranny]

If you stick around the trans community long enough you hear people screaming that it is their absolute right to use these spaces, just as any other woman would, without regard. I could not agree less. Insisting on violating the private spaces of women who may not be in the position to understand our situation is asking for trouble, it increases further segregation, and hints of the nasty male privilege.

Excellent point. Some of the most disagreeable people I've met have identified as TS and sometimes I am ashamed to be numbered among them. I think that most pre-op girls would agree that discretion is indeed the better part of valor and the ones that don't are most certainly part of the problem.

If a person identifies as a woman shouldn't that make them LESS likely to want to show the pickle? I've been pretty open about not caring for mine one way or the other but that doesn't mean I want to show it off. I've accepted it, I don't pretend it's not there, I deal with it, but I sure as hell ain't proud of it.

[abigailf]

I can't say I agree to Sandra's point. That would be like saying a person who was born blind then years later can suddenly see after maybe some medication or surgery is refused a drivers license because she was born blind.

I would not say I am insisting on violating a woman's space, but rather I refuse to violate a man's space anymore. I am a woman. So it is not violating, I am using a woman's space.

I was born a woman, yet I was labeled a boy at birth. I now corrected this and I will go anywhere and do anything I please as a woman. Right down to teeing off from the woman's tees. However, I have one single restriction to this. I will not go into any space (man, woman or sheep) that requires me to be naked in front of others (except the doctors).

I am very self conscience about my body and specifically about the junk I have between my legs. I will not get naked for anyone that doesn't know I am trans. Though maybe that will changed after my operation.

I use the family changing rooms at the gym but as there is no shower I do not shower at the gym. Because I am self conscience about my body I won't use the woman's locker rooms. They have open showers. However I have used locker rooms at hotel pools and at the racquet club where I play wallyball with a bunch of guys, but only to change not shower.

I have been to the beach in a one piece bathing suit and by my private pool in my bikini. The only reason I have not been to the beach in a bikini is because I am self conscience about the little bit of fat I do have.

I register and run races and other sporting events as a female. Why not, I am female. I have yet to join any female clubs, but I will once I figure out what I want to join.

Now, here is the real kicker. If I was in a woman's locker room and I saw some woman walking around with her thing dangling out, I would be appalled, at least initially. I would probably do a double take and even stare a bit. Then after the shock, I would think, "Oh! We have something in common, I wonder if I should say hello." I can see that conversation now in my head. "Hi, I couldn't help notice that you have a penis. Me too, wanna 'hang' out sometime."

[Bree-asaurus]

If you stick around the trans community long enough you hear people screaming that it is their absolute right to use these spaces, just as any other woman would, without regard. I could not agree less. Insisting on violating the private spaces of women who may not be in the position to understand our situation is asking for trouble, it increases further segregation, and hints of the nasty male privilege. A better solution is education and discussion prior to.


Excellent point. Some of the most disagreeable people I've met have identified as TS and sometimes I am ashamed to be numbered among them. I think that most pre-op girls would agree that discretion is indeed the better part of valor and the ones that don't are most certainly part of the problem.


I would not say I am insisting on violating a woman's space, but rather I refuse to violate a man's space anymore. I am a woman. So it is not violating, I am using a woman's space.

I agree that the fist pumping, shouting, supreme-activist route doesn't help. It should be our right to be treated equally, but I think there are more productive ways of educating and getting in people's faces.

I think the whole OMG VIOLATING and the gender divide is bull anyway. Do men and women REALLY need separate facilities just because some people wear dresses or pants or have one set of parts or another? People need to stop being so weird about silly things. Maybe we should have separate poopers for people with moles and people without moles. I mean... I don't want to walk awkwardly past those mole-less freaks while me and my mole go relieve my bowels. And a poop shack isn't a private space IMO... you're pooping in the same room with other people. If it was a private space, why do I feel so weird in there? :P

And seriously... violating? I reserve that word for rape and stuff... not pooping in the stall next to someone who you can't see anyway.


If a person identifies as a woman shouldn't that make them LESS likely to want to show the pickle? I've been pretty open about not caring for mine one way or the other but that doesn't mean I want to show it off. I've accepted it, I don't pretend it's not there, I deal with it, but I sure as hell ain't proud of it.

Yeah no shoot, right? Like that, umm... maybe tranny / maybe perv dude (who I think may have been a perv regardless of their gender) who was in the news recently who was flashing in the women's locker room or whatever?!?!? If I need to use a locker room, it is going to be the women's, but I'm sure as hell not flapping my junk around for everyone to see.

My pre-op boyfriend, who uses the men's locker room at work, could walk around totally nekkid... boobs flapping around and all. But he's the last person that wants to do that... he doesn't hide his chest because of what others would think... he hides it because of what he thinks.

[DebbieL]

The thread is slightly out of control, so I'll post. I started transition in 1990 and aborted it in 1996 (a decision I regretted). When I was born, I was inter-sexed, with undescended testes, they were still inside, like ovaries. I also had an unusually small dangler.

In elementary school, they took the doors off the boy's stalls so that we wouldn't lock all the doors and then crawl out - or whatever else they thought we would do. I would take Kaopectate to make sure I didn't have to sit when other boys were around. When I didn't have a choice, the boys would make fun of me, and often would get violent during recess. I couldn't pass as a boy back in those days. So I am very sensitive to that space, and protective, regardless of which bathroom I'm using.

Unfortunately, the testes eventually dropped, but the dangler didn't grow very much. I'm actually too short to tuck. I even have trouble FINDING it sometimes. My bigger problem are the too testes. If I'm just going to be dressed the whole time, I just wear control panties, something tight that pushes them up inside. If I don't want the panty line, I have used superglue to create a fold in the sac, which pushes the testes up inside. It almost looks like a labia. With the dangler pressed in, completely deflated and in the fold, it almost looks like girl parts.

When I was in college, I went to a girl's school and we only had a few boys in the dorm, so we had co-ed bathrooms and co-ed showers. Back in those days, I was more worried that someone might see my male parts (or lack of them) - so I would be very strategic, using the bathroom stall (sitting of course), and waiting until I knew that there was no one in the room.

In some states, you can change your legal status based on your secondary characteristics, however, if you are arrested, you will be put in the cell which matches your primary characteristics. Unless you are arrested, your 4th amendment rights prevent any government official from forcing you to strip and prove your gender.

The one environment that really had to be avoided was any sort of community shower. If you showered in a public shower and a child walked in and saw the dangler, you could be arrested as a sex offender, even though you did not intend to be seen.

The flip side of course, is being sensitive to the privacy of others. These rules apply in both men's and women's rooms, but there is a special sensitivity if you are admiring a woman as she's fixing her outfit - and THEN she reads you. Staring at someone as they are going into or out of a restroom or stall is rude by any standard, as is looking into the stalls while the doors are closed.

Another thing to keep in mind is being quiet. Gas is OK, but you don't want to push so hard that your Bass voice comes out. Stay in girl mind and girl voice, and say nothing if you can avoid it. You can talk while waiting in line if you're in line with friends. Wash your hands, dry them, and leave. The public bathroom full of women is not the time or place to freshen your make-up, brush or fluff up your hair, or deal with anything that isn't seriously off. I try to schedule my trips to the ladies room to avoid lines when possible. Waiting until after intermission or before intermission of a concert or show, or stepping out during the movie instead of waiting until it's over.

Of course, if you are in transition, you also know to "Dress to Blend". Don't wear the miniskirt to the shopping mall, and don't wear the army boots to the club. Dressing and make-up that's Age-appropriate is also important. If you have to wear a wig, make sure that the wig (or at least the "roots), match your eyebrow color. The goal is to blend, to not attract too much attention. If you are unusually beautiful, both men and women will pay more attention to the details and focus on you longer. Women are looking to find faults, brands, and self-validation. Men are looking for clues as to whether you could be approached, if not, they will look for self--validation by looking for faults. The irony of being extraordinarily beautiful is that you may feel less confident, but others will feel "Less Than" - not good enough, even upset with themselves for not being as pretty as you are, or not having an SO who is as pretty as you are.

I only got in trouble for using a ladies room once, and that was because I spoke to the woman in the stall next to me, and she recognized my voice. I had just started in public and my voice was still a giveaway. She made a fuss and the restaurant manager even threatened to call the police if I did it again. The town was headquarters for Focus on the Family and the state had just revoked a gay rights measure passed in Denver. Legally, I had no rights at all.

In NJ, it's illegal to discriminate or to refuse facilities to transgenders - they are allowed to use the one that matches their presentation.

[Babeba]

Just to interject, I disagree with the above poster stating this thread is out of control, even slightly. I have been watching the thread carefully and I don't feel anyone has posted anything needing moderation. As with any thread, if you are uncomfortable with a post or a concept, feel free to report the thread so it comes up in the moderation panel for discussion or PM Nigella or myself directly.

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled programming - I mean, conversation!

[Badtranny]

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled programming - I mean, conversation!

I'm a little surprised that there weren't more people talking about how they handle the delicate condition of being a legal female with a penis.

Perhaps there aren't that many of us?

[Persephone]

Hi Melissa,

I've posted a couple of times on this thread, but as of your current post I'm back to being a bit confused over just what you are looking for.

I'm an "illegal woman" with residual dangly bits. I go everywhere and do everything (well, almost everything! :-) ). This past week I organized a luncheon and shopping trip for 15 women (14 GG's and me). I am a member of, and work out at, a women's exercise center, I travel ... etc., etc., and so on.

I have no idea why being a woman with dangly bits is so important unless one is about to drop one's panties for a sexual partner or is being strip searched. Sure, all of us want to be rid of them, but, except for those two situations, getting rid of them is for us, not for other people.

And being "legal" has huge advantages, of course. I can't use my state-issued driver's license for ID, I can't have a checking account. But what has "legal," which is merely the state's mumbo-jumbo recognition based upon laws that they made up in the legislature anyway, got to do with the horrible idea of displaying one's dangly bits?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Traci Elizabeth]

Legal female with a penis...I vaguely remember that (considering I am 40 days post-op LOL).

Here is my take on it:

To limit the discussion to "locker room" nudity as some have, only partially covers the "penis" problem we face with natal women. My experience has been that "nudity" is a rare issue we must deal with in protecting us and our natal sisters from embarrassing and/or legal situations. It goes without saying that if you are "trans whatever" and have a penis, you have NO business exposing it in front of natal women in public period! Now if you are at a nudest resort where all forms of genitalia are welcomed with open arms then you are OK. Short of that, nudity with a penis or penis exposure is not an option.

But I think penis gals need to be far more concerned about everyday activities around natal women by making sure that their "bulge" can not be seen. The bathing suite issue already brought up needs to be addressed. I myself wore skimpy bikinis pre-op but after much experimenting I figured out how to wear them without showing "any" bulge. If you can't pull that off then don't wear a bikini or any other swimsuit that shows something that is not suppose to be there. I have seen a lot of natal women wearing jean shorts in the water (problem solved even for the most endowed trans-women).

Prancing around in panties while in locker rooms or dressing rooms should not be done if you can not hide that "junk" of yours. But let's put some more clothes on say a skirt. You have no business wearing a tight skirt that shows a bulge in front. YES! I have seen it before. A frontal bulge in a tight skirt can be seen a mile away. How about jeans? If your "pickle" is hanging off to one side or if you have a bulge to one side, ditch the tight jeans for looser fitting jeans.

I could go on but to me it is simple: You want to be a woman, and as Katesback use to say, "Women don't have penises!" then for heaven's sake DON'T let anyone see a bulging penis not alone natal women in anything you wear or don't wear. If you can't accomplish that then in my opinion you have no business presenting yourself as a woman.

I am sure I will get a lot of flaming arrows stating, "I have a right to wear what I want and to look the way I want and to show my bulge anyway I want!" But do you really? Not if you want to be seriously taken as a women.

During my years as a pre-op woman, I had more self pride and more concern for others and for my own well being than to flaunt any bulge or to show any bulge even unintentionally. I was always acuity aware of my penis in public and made sure I presented as a female not a "trans-woman with a penis." Sure that meant not getting naked in a locker room, wearing looser clothing, and mastering the art of "stable" tucking.

If you want to be taken seriously as a women, then use your God given talents to hide that damn thing from other women, children, and men. Anything less is not acceptable. :sb:

[Bree-asaurus]

I'm a little surprised that there weren't more people talking about how they handle the delicate condition of being a legal female with a penis.

Perhaps there aren't that many of us?

Having a penis has nothing to do with any part of my life but when my boyfriend and I are nekkid.

The only place it's holding me back is in my brain.

I don't use "women's private spaces." I've always avoided public bathrooms if I can (I just don't like them) but if I have to, I'm hidden in a stall anyway. As far as locker rooms and gyms... I haven't been in either since I was in school and have no plans to use either in the future.