Blending thread...beat to death again!

[JamieQ]

I know we have about beat the "passing/blending in" thread about to death lately so I just want to post one more, especially for the newbies and the ones without enough confidence to go out, then I will let it rest...

I think we worry way to much about this passing/blending thing and unfortuantely it holds many back. If we will only go out after we know for sure we will pass/blend then most never will make it out. First, I do want to make it clear that I feel I am way less passable/blendable than a bunch of you. But none the less, I was the same not long ago...underconfident or just plain ole "afraid"! But most interesting is that it seems like everytime I go out this passing/blending thing seems to get less important for me. I do not want to be a dude in a dress though, but then if someone asks thierself, "was that a dude in a wig and a dress or not". That last one seems okay for me. I guess I am becoming comfortable knowing I do not pass/blend all the time, but rather some of the time anyways.

I learned something else very important today. Looks are important to pass/blend but sometimes not as important as we think. The way we act goes a heck of a lot further than we think. Today I was coming back across a parking lot and a maintenance guy was coming across the opposite direction. We were sort of in a "V" coming towards each other and we were getting close to the point...2-3 ft. I should have kept going and he probably would have offered for me, the woman to go ahead. But dummy me, I quickly stepped back and to the side and immediately we both knew something was real awkward. Only then he read me...but he continued on his way and I went on my way. If that would have not happened he may not have really noticed or maybe wondered like I mentioned in the second paragraph. I do not think I would have been totally read. So...bottom line is... (and I know many others on this forum will back me up!)... stop worrying about this pass/blend in thing so much! Please do not let it hold you back! If you are read the anti-crossdresser mobs are not going to be mobilized with their torches and pitchforks hunting you down. I think the vast majority really does not give a hoot if they see a CDer nowadays...:)

[Beverley Sims]

It is hard to remember men are polite and always give way to ladies.
You keep forgetting what you are? Don't you.
I have done it myself opened the door for another LADY :)

[noeleena]

Hi,

Are looks passing & blending in that importaint. i would agree with that for those of you that dress,

What i would like to show you, is how about standing in front of two different groups of about 70 people each, most being women, haveing never meet them , yet been invited to spend about an hour each talking to them ,

Of cause youll be dressed nicely hair all done & makeup. ill assume your voice is pretty good as to sound right, your manirisms how you act & demeaner is good, so all up youd pass like a woman, right,

Is this in keeping with what youd do, & youd be treated like any woman. should be,

Or would you not like to be in a place like that, you know all eyes are on you , your standing there, & you are the focus of all there, would you be counting the butterflys & feel your tummy get all tight & your thinking what the heck am i doing here, & you really just wont to be gone,= let the floor open up. gone.

How would you get on or would you decline & say sorry not for me. or could you do it,


...noeleena...

[ChelseaErtel]

It's funny, the first time I was entering a door and an man was there, I just let him hold the door and said thank you. Seem natural to me and I enjoyed it.

[Daisy41]

For my first time out, I kept wanting to hold doors for other women. In fact, I kept thinking that if any guy tried to start anything with my other female friends, I'd shove one of my heels right up... Anyway, yeah, the entire package matters when passing. Being submissive, not aggressive, responding to other people, etc, can give off a female vibe.

[JamieQ]

Hi,

Are looks passing & blending in that importaint. i would agree with that for those of you that dress,

What i would like to show you, is how about standing in front of two different groups of about 70 people each, most being women, haveing never meet them , yet been invited to spend about an hour each talking to them ,

Of cause youll be dressed nicely hair all done & makeup. ill assume your voice is pretty good as to sound right, your manirisms how you act & demeaner is good, so all up youd pass like a woman, right,

Is this in keeping with what youd do, & youd be treated like any woman. should be,

Or would you not like to be in a place like that, you know all eyes are on you , your standing there, & you are the focus of all there, would you be counting the butterflys & feel your tummy get all tight & your thinking what the heck am i doing here, & you really just wont to be gone,= let the floor open up. gone.

How would you get on or would you decline & say sorry not for me. or could you do it,


...noeleena...

I think what I am trying to say, for me anyways, I would probably do, it pass or not. I seem to just be getting that comfortable. Being dressed to "pass" all the time, every time is probably unrealistic for most, so why should that alone limit us. I am not saying do not make the effort though, its just that the mannersims, etc go a long way to "passing/blending".:)

[Angela Campbell]

I would be satisfied if someone looked at me and was not sure. If they think I may be a woman but are just not sure then I pass. It is when they look and have no doubt that I want to avoid.

[Beverley Sims]

Hi,
how about standing in front of two different groups of about 70 people each, most being women, haveing never meet them , yet been invited to spend about an hour each talking to them ,

...noeleena...
What! in some southern country town in N.Z.?
I would talk to them, mix with them and let them ask me questions. Get them to let their guard down by being an interesting person and they will forget I am a man.
Tell them about traveling around the world, how a foreigner caught more whitebait on a particular day than the locals and not talk about X dressing and this website. :)

[JamieQ]

I would be satisfied if someone looked at me and was not sure. If they think I may be a woman but are just not sure then I pass. It is when they look and have no doubt that I want to avoid.

You could not have said it any better...:)

[LelaK]

If I find a reason and the courage to CD in public some day, I hope I won't care if I pass or not. I'd rather just be concerned about feeling as feminine as I want to feel.

[mikiSJ]

It is hard to remember men are polite and always give way to ladies.


Funny, I was at an In-n-Out for lunch today in guy mode and going in a GG lady in her 30s held the door open for me, and on my way out, a GG lady about my age held the door for me. I thank both of them and that returned a smile from each woman. Made my day.

Miki

[JamieQ]

If I find a reason and the courage to CD in public some day, I hope I won't care if I pass or not. I'd rather just be concerned about feeling as feminine as I want to feel.

Yes!!! Thats exactly the point I was getting to!:)

[Kaz]

One of the best experiences I had like this was coming down in an elevator and 'preening' in the mirror with my back to the door as it opened... I swung round and this good looking guy was there with such a grin on his face! I just smiled and stroked his hand as I walked past him... I was on cloud nine! And I looked back and he was still smiling... It was a great moment! One that will be with me forever... xx

[PretzelGirl]

I am going to take it a step further. It isn't about having the door held for you or being submissive (really not a good choice of words, but anyway...). As many have said in the past, it is about owning what you are doing. I went out yesterday and held the door on more than one occasion. Most of the time it was for other women and once for an overloaded gentlemen. I only got one chuckle from a guy and that was in the store where he only had about 2 seconds to size me up. So either he made me or thought my ugly looks warranted a chuckle.

Just don't act sneaky and be like you feel. Eyes up. Walk straight to where you are going instead of looping around people. Talk instead of mumbling (I had a hard time with that one when trying to talk softer). And above all, smile! You are enjoying yourself (really you are). Show it!

[JamieQ]

Yes...a woman stopped in a car and asked me for directions as I was walking. I freaked out for a split second...she was about 20' away and in my regular guy voice I pointed and said "just keep going straight". She said "thank you" and waved as she drove off. Absolutely...do not act sneaky, go straight to were you are going, and do not intentionally avoid people! they can see right thru it...