Is it worth it?

[Victoriana]

Hey girls,

I have seen posts on here before about how difficult it is to deal with crossdressing and how stressful it can become. Simple question, is it worth it? Worth all that one deals with in terms of crossdressing?

Note* Everyone's experience obviously varies in terms of crossdressing. For some it is easy, others hard.

[Courtneigh]

Yes !!! To me it is.."**** the people..we are the people !"

You are doing it for yourself...no-one else...that is who I am !...and I love myself !

[Lady Catherine]

I agree with Courtneigh here. Every word. Worth every single piece of crap bulls!&# comment or stupid look I ever got. F@(% 'em if they don't like it.

[Robynne]

Is it worth it?
I have spent my entire life believing that I should have been born a girl. At the same time, I find it next to impossible to walk out the door fully dressed. It has been a bain on my existence. A while back I purged once again and am totally miserable.

[Ashley Lyn]

I've been closet dressing for almost 60 years.. Been out a few times, but only to quiet outdoor places, and try to blend...
I truly have loved it, and have no regrets.. Lost a girlfriend or two, but.. I found several who were very supporting..
My current wife is supporting, and we are going out just as soon as a longer skirt shows up that I just ordered..
At my age, 'blending' is extremely important.. I still love 'dressing'... such FUN! well worth the effort..!!

[Kaz]

Hi Victoriana,

I will try to not add to the expletives as this is a worthy thread and I wouldn't like to see it deleted...

The fact that this site exists at all is testimony to the issues we face, and I have personally learned a lot and developed a lot since I have been involved with the great people here.

Is it worth it? Everyone of us who has tried to stop has realised that this is not the question. On many levels, no it isn't worth the hassle, the embarrassment and the self-loathing which many of us experience... but then we try to stop and we realise that this will never go away... it is a curse... but it is also a blessing if we can see it that way...

Is it worth it? At the moment I would say no. Better to stop and join the conformists... this is so much safer...

Is it worth it? How could I deny Kaz her place in my life... this side of me is so much part of me that to deny it would be to deny my existence...

So is it worth it? To answer that question truthfully we need to understand what we understand by 'worth'... Because I'm worth it? Not so easy when you have people who depend on you... What are they worth?

I just love cans of worms! :)

[Joanne f]

Is it worth it , YES, because the only other alternative is not to be me and that would be living a lie all the time as opposed to having problems some of the time .

[Barbara Ella]

Is it worth all the heartache and worry and grief that dressing causes us?

Just read the many posts about the problems that are produced when you try to stop. And i firmly believe that you chose to ignore the true woman who exists within, for whatever reason, the psychological turmoil will make the internal strifes from dressing seem like child's play. Maybe not the external angst that the public heaps on us, but very real.

So yes, it is all worth it, and it won't stop.

Barbara

[franlee]

Have you ever heard of a no win situation? It doesn't matter what the cost everyone here is here because they are CDer's regardless of the other titles attached. You tell me the worth of your life and then I can answer your question. It is part of you weather you act on it or not, it is there and you can't seperate it from your life and mind. It will aways be there so there is no "worth" it is what it is. How you handle it and indulge it is where you ask yourself is this (action or expendature) worth it. And only you know if you can afford it.

[MsRenee]

I believe it is worth it nothing ever comes easy.
Renee

[Being Paige]

I would say that most of the stress, we put onto ourselves! Some from everyone else. I know that is at least ine my world.

[Victoriana]

Thanks for your answers. I don't mean to cause a reaction it was just a question. I asked because I do see a lot of hardship in terms of dealing with crossdressing but there is also a bright side and many are accepting an very happy. With each individual crossdresser, experiences vary and lots have strong opinions about the issue and get defensive when hearing something they don't like. The reality is that it is an opinion so if one says yes to this question and one says no then there should still be no argument. Again, state your opinion and who really cares what anyone thinks including me. It is how that individual feels and that is it.

On a side note, I was told long ago when I was a teen that you can't quit crossdressing. I disagree, you can if you truly want to. If the costs outweigh the benefits. I would not discourage young and upcoming crossdressers if they wanted to quit. In fact I would give them advice what made it work for me during those periods of when I did quit. On the other end, if a young crossdresser wanted advice and wanted to progress I would help them try to accept it. It all depends on what one wants and it sucks to hear "you can not do it" with anything! Please don't take this personally anyone. Probably best to close this thread out I don't want it to be one fat argument.

Best of luck though to those who decide whichever path they want to take! :)

Thanks girls for your opinions, always valuable and full of advice.

Victoriana

[biggirlsarah]

Is it worth it well yes , well this may be bit of a cop out but to me it is a lot easier to accept the fact that I am a crossdresser rather than to ignore it , or to deny my own feelings or needs, I dont think I could deal with not doing it , I suppose it is like having an overwhelming desire to do something then abstaining and having that conflict in the mind all the time , simple give in you cant ignore it.

[georgia20]

deffinitly all worth it, nothing better than getting all dolled up and feeling great and sexy, even if it comes with a price

[Barbara Ella]

Victorian, reactions are good. If one can't react, it means they are dead, either actually, or dead in thought. This is a good post about a thought that a lot of us need to examine from time to time to maintain the appreciation of what it is we are doing.

Just to pick a fine point, and not to disagree with your thought of helping all dressers. You mention periods when you did quit. I would respectfully say you were not quitting, merely stopping, pausing, regrouping, or in remission. To my mind quitting is permanent. There are many good tips you can give dressers who wish to pause and still maintain a good feeling, for however long it lasts. You did not quit on us, and we are glad you are here and I truly hope you are enjoying.

Barbara

[Cheryl T]

For so many years I felt it was so not worth it. Then I realized I was denying myself and who I am. Once I accepted myself then all the struggle became a worthwhile sacrifice to get me to where I am today. Now I go out, hold my head up and am proud of who I am.

[Stephanie47]

When you ask the question "Is it worth it?," it makes it sound as if the cross dresser has a choice? Was the movie worth seeing? If you saw or did not see a particular movie your angst is probably short lived. As a cross dresser I choose to be an in-home cross dresser. Why? Because that is my comfort zone. I seek relief from stress by cross dressing. Maybe society would rather I seek relief abusing alcohol and illegal drugs, but, I choose cross dressing. Did I seek to become a cross dresser? No! I don't know how it all came about. It's here. I have to deal with it. It is not going away.

A cross dresser can go though all the self loathing, sexual confusion, etc. But, at the end of the day they are still going to be a cross dresser. Once that is realized then the challenge becomes how to express oneself. And to what degree that self expression needs to be taken.

I am at the end of the spectrum of cross dressing where it is a private personal affair. I have no desire to assert myself to the fullest extent allowable under the laws of the State of Washington. That would be self defeating to the stress relief cross dressing brings me. I realize others are on the other end of the spectrum where wearing women's clothing is part of the process from transitioning from male to female.

If I am going to offer counsel to a young person who likes to wear women's clothing, I tell him, please do a thorough self examination of who you believe you are and how you are going to fit into society. Be a realist! If you're going to say "**** them, I'm going to do what I want!" you may find them saying "**** him, too!"

If you really want to assert yourself, I recommend relocating to Washington State and its larger cities in western Washington where you will enjoy the protections of the law.

[melissakozak]

It is worth it because WE are worth it. True, integrate this into your life or suffer miserably.....

[famousunknown]

Is it worth it?

In a word....NO, probably not.

Can we just take a pill to stop it?

No...

[Victoriana]

I am surprised to see some no's on here. I would say probably not worth it. And you don't need anything but the will and want to stop it if you so choose. Nobody on here wants to stop it. It is fun right!?!? :) Depends on the crossdresser...or lack thereof. To quit for long periods of time means you are on the way to quit for good if you want it that way. Hmmm...maybe.

[Brianna612]

To me quitting is not an option. Quitting was forced on me when I was young by my parents. That lead to drugs for stress relief which just caused more stress. I was a mad and miserable youth. When I moved out I started dressing and reduced the drugs. The second time was by choice when I met my X wife. I knew she couldn't handle my CDing and I was right. The thing I didn't realize was that I couldn't handle the stress that not dressing caused. This time around I tried to work it out with beer. Didn't work too well. So to me dressing is easy, it is not dressing that is stressful.

[suzy1]

I have never felt any guilt over crossdressing and I am also completely satisfied with dressing as Suzy mainly within the confines of my own home. So I have no negatives about it.

For me being Suzy is a very real and wonderful part of my life.

Need I say more?

[heatherdress]

If it was not "worth it", we would not be crossdressing. If we did not crossdress, we would not be on this site. Since we are on this site, responding to this question, the response would be "yes".

[Samantha43]

Is it worth it?

In a word....NO, probably not.

Can we just take a pill to stop it?

No...

If that pill existed it would free up a lot of my time and save me a bunch of money!

[I Am Paula]

Short version-As a child I already knew I was different. Played with dolls, was my sisters' crash test dummy for preteen make up parties. Teen, gay, effeminate, crossdressed. At twenty I decided to abandon my past and live as a plaid shirt wearing straight guy. Not even panties. The result- Spent twenty years drunk and in denial. By all rights I should be dead, or in really rough shape. Rehab taught me to let my freak flag fly, left there sober, donned a skirt and blouse, never looked back. Too old to transition, married, and living as Celeste 90%. Is it worth it? Absolutely, and more. Saved my life.-Celeste

[AmyGaleRT]

That's a very, very tough question. "Is it worth it?"

For me, it would have to be, "Yes."

My femmeself, the person I call "Amy," is as much a part of me as my male self is. To deny "Amy" is to deny part of myself. I would become almost "half-dead." It's been hard enough just suppressing her as much as I have, out of fear of what my fiancee would think. At last, though, I can express both sides of myself freely. It's like being released from prison...a prison of my own making, it turns out. Now my two halves can each do their part, contributing to making me a whole and happy person.

- Amy

[Beverley Sims]

If you do not deal with it, you are up tight, depressed and may get stress related disorders.

[Angela Campbell]

Since I was a child I wanted to be a girl. This is the only way I can be a little bit of a girl, so yeah it is worth it. Not much to consider.

[drushin703]

If it's not worth it, I have wasted an awful lot of time and almost two billion dollors on clothes, shoes, makeup, wigs, perfume, girdles, pantyhose, leggings,
heels and outer wear, money that would have been better spent on solving the housing crisis, saving the rain forest or finding a cure for cumpulsive gamlbling, lol.

Hell Yeah it's worth it. And a whole lot of fun too....dana

[GinaM]

I enjoy dressing and so many times I've felt so ashamed but at the end of the day all we are doing is dressing up like women and not hurting anyone. It's funny because I don't drink or do drugs yet can feel ashamed about this hobby I've had since I was as young as I can remember. Funny drug addicts have less shame than we do.

[DMichele]

For me the stress related to crossdressing ended upon my divorce. I was set free to dress whenever, although initially I only underdressed. Today, I probably have a bit more female clothing than male clothing. The freedom to dress whenever, has probably helped with overcoming some depression; and as a result I am much happier today.

So, is it worth (crossdressing)? For me the answer is yes. In my opinion, denying, suppressing, etc is not good for one's mental and physical well-being.

[Launa]

Its worth it but its also a major pain in the arse!

[adrienner99]

To ask, "Is it worth it?" implies there is a choice. For me, there is no choice. It is who I am. The combination of peace, excitement and happiness dressing brings me is not something I have ever found anywhere else.

[Michelle 2]

I have stated this several times before and I will again. It is worth every penny to me and it is very expensive, but I am worth it.

Michelle

[Jessica86]

I am one who believes no matter what, this is a situation that a person can not "quit" from. I have seen tons of evidence that crossdressers tend to follow the path originally chosen. I believe if someone quits this, their intention was not to crossdress. Their intention was either a fetish or sexual type of encounter with what we do. As far as the price, heh...to me there shouldn't even be a price. I make a career out of chasing guys on meth, crack, and pcp. You should see the people lined up at the door to help these people. Families come together, friends come out of the wood work, and ex wives want to RE marry just because they think they can help them. So, I don't know what to think of the "price" we pay. It's not fair we have to "pay" for something that just affects us (if we are honest about it.)

[CarmenSkye]

Absolutely. It's a form of self expression no different than painting, creating music and/or writing. It's enjoyable to see how far you can go and what you can achieve. Yes there is criticism, but you should only worry about making yourself happy, giving yourself the treatment you deserve. I find crossdressing an art form, and every part of it another goal/challenge.

[dallasmann]

I love myself and have no reason not to.

[Foxglove]

If you're trans, whether you crossdress or not, you're dealing with it. I myself went into denial for a lot of years. I was dealing with it. Now I'm taking a different path altogether. I'm dealing with it.

If you're trans, you have no choice. You will always deal with it. The question is, "What's the best way of dealing with it?"

People who want to stop crossdressing can do it if they're strong-willed enough. But that doesn't mean they're no longer dealing with crossdressing. It doesn't let you go.

The question for each individual is, "What's the best way of dealing with it?"

Annabelle

[PretzelGirl]

Well said Jessica. I tend to lean to the, if it isn't worth it you wouldn't do it. Yes, many are driven. But if you are driven and it helped with those feelings, then by definition, it is worth it.

[Jenniferathome]

I think the only difficulty or stress is hiding from your spouse. Once you come out to her, it's stress free,

[linda allen]

Hey girls,

I have seen posts on here before about how difficult it is to deal with crossdressing and how stressful it can become. Simple question, is it worth it? Worth all that one deals with in terms of crossdressing?.........

Most of the answers you get on this forum will be "yes, it's worth it."

Consider though, for those who decided at some point in their lives that it wasn't worth it, they probably stopped dressing and won't be members of a crossdressing web forum so your "poll" is going to be biased towards the "yes it's worth it" answer.

Another thing - We have different levels of crossdressing so when I answer "Yes, it's worth it.", keep in mind that I'm not out and about so I'm not having the hassle of explaining it to family, friends, and neighbors. In that respect, my answer would be "No, it's not worth the trouble of dealing with these folks so I'm not dressing in front of them".

Does that clear it up?