Joy and happiness

[Tiffany Grace]

For as long as I can remember I have been in pursuit of Joy and Happiness. I looked everywhere for it. I thought I would find it by being who everyone wanted me to be, but it was not there. I thought it was waiting for me in achievements and career, but that kind of joy and happiness does not stick around for long. There are many doors we open and many roads we take, but for me a great source of joy has come from accepting and loving who I truly am. It fills me with peace and strength. I lived most of my life depressed so this new joy takes some getting used to:) but it is not a fleeting joy, it is deeper than that. I don't jump for joy everyday, we all face our challenges and struggles, but it is wonderful to live my life with my feet firmly planted in 5' heels and loving every moment of it.

A work in progress:)

[Roberta Young]

Tiffany, I agree with You 100% Hugs Roberta

[Tara D. Rose]

This sounds so good for you Tiffany, life moves forward and we learn so many lessons of life and living as the years roll by. Always be thankful for what you have and never lose sight of that. And on your now coming more to grips with this part of you, embrace your cross dressing head on and be proud of yourself in your pursuing of happiness.
Tara

[Kathi Lake]

Acceptance of yourself is indeed key. For me, that acceptance has enabled me to find out how to really achieve joy and happiness - by taking the focus off of myself, and serving others. By attempting to give others joy and happiness, I find that mine is increased even more. Some may find that naive, trite and hackneyed, but that's just me.

:)

Kathi

[rachaelsloane]

Tiffany,
I'm so happy that you're enjoying yourself and I'm sure the 5" heels are only a part of it. I also follow Kathi's outlook of giving joy to others and find there is a lot of inner happiness I get from it.
Rach

[Tiffany Grace]

Tiffany, I agree with You 100% Hugs Roberta

Hugs Roberta nice of you to say

[Tiffany Grace]

Tiffany,
I'm so happy that you're enjoying yourself and I'm sure the 5" heels are only a part of it. I also follow Kathi's outlook of giving joy to others and find there is a lot of inner happiness I get from it.
Rach

Hi Rachael, thanks for your kind response. Serving and giving joy is so much the destination and the means in our walk. thanks

[Beverley Sims]

I think Joy lives around the corner and I know Happiness is in the clothing section of Macy's. :)

[Annaliese2010]

Joy & happiness are achieved when one reunites with one's deeper self which is by nature continuous with and differentiated from the greater Whole i.e. the 'One'...i.e. the undifferentiated esthetic continuum...i.e. (do I have to say it? u know...the G word?). Nope, I'm not a religious freak or philosopher. Just an independent thinker & pretty much got it All figured out.

One's everyday self consists of personality, character, perceptions of the outside world, relations with other people, ones actions, reactions, skills & abilities, accomplishments, defeats, intellingence, knowledge, emotional make up, facial make-ups, eye liner, lipstick, nylons, high heels, skirts, blouses, lingerie etc. And the impact of one's upbringing, history of experience, current & future expectations about income, general & specific thoughts & opiions, ones politics, tastes and preferences, the variety & quality of relationships and a million and one other things.

All of these have in common the fact that they deal with one's orientation to and interaction with the Outside World i.e. the world as experienced through the physical senses. Inundated by a neverending stream of sensory experience, perceptions thoughts & feelings, we are from moment to moment immersed in the world. It's our 'streaming reality' and dominates our attention, our every minute of awareness. It's...the Content of Awareness. And like the images on a huge white movie screen in the theater, the motion drama & sound captivates & draws one in. This streaming content which includes ones own ceaseless thinking, planning, feeling, and outer sensory perception Overshadows that aspect of ones self that originates from a much more vast inner reality. We never experience the white screen itself, even though it's always there, a living presence. Ones deeper Self,

So...like a tiny little sail boat our lives move along through time & space on the surface of a much deeper reality. Sometimes we are tossed about in rough sea's othertimes cruise through calm waters, always the victims though for never being anchored or rooted in the most fundamental sense of that term. We are therefore..so very mortal. Because of our unknowing. There's no happiness in this no matter who you are or what you do. Only tragedy, a winless fight, battle after battle, in all it's forms. Sometimes interspersed by periods of calm & stability...what we define as happiness...but really isn't. Only the calm before the next storm. The next tragedy...until the ultimate tragedy comes, the one waiting for us all. Our stupid ignominious end.

In fact...there is but One tragedy thats responsible for all others, no matter how big or small, personal, society-wide, national or global: it is the failure to realize ones inner Divinity. Not just understand it from an intellectual or idea's point of view. But to Realize that Fact. Such a profound inner Realization of one's deeper nature is quite unlikley when one is so outwardly aware, involved, engaged, bothered or pleased, it's all the same. To be lost in a maze (i.e. 'amazed') by being tightly interlocked with what I call the 'manifold' of the world - the bazillions of distractions & details of ones own life. It's the normal state we all experience. And by being so profoundly cut off from the direct mindful moment by moment experience of ones true and everpresent, deeper, expanded and universally unbounded inner self, one takes the outer world of relative experience a bit too serious and acts accordingly.

Lacking the natural spontaneous and intuitive guidance that results when one re-members one's self, one is prone to making mistakes, wrong assumptions, using poor judgement and thinking, feeling & acting wrongly no matter the details of the issue or conflict which are multitudinous. This being the normal experience of us all... througout all of our entire lives. Never finding peace, true happiness or fulfillment. And yet...the possibility always exists for true Self-Realization because what is inside, simply IS. It's just that no one has the time to regularly experience intervals of quietude and disengagement to allow That which resides deep inside, That which is one's deeper Self... to rise.

If asserting one's feminine inner self brings on happiness...it is only gained in contrast to the relatively less than desirable feeling of self denial or societal repression. That's wonderful...it really is & I am happy for you. But....it's not enuf & it wont last for the reason described above. No doubt.

[Tiffany Grace]

Thank you Annaliese for your response. Though I cannot say I agree with you I do appreciate your thought provoking reply to my post. In my world view, the only one I aspire the term divinity to is God. Not to engage in semantics, but Divinity, in the theological definition, is aspired to someone who is not created but as God has no beginning and no end. Though my belief and outlook is different from yours I completely respect your right to your view as well as everyone else's view in this regard no matter how different. Unlike your position regarding peace, joy, and happiness, not lasting, I believe it will last today and forever because it is a gift and not something I work for. My journey to this place in my life is not based on my performance or the world's treatment etc., but on God's grace and love. Thank you for such an interesting post

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Yes it is joy and happiness its a joy to be what you want to be and happiness on how you feel about yourself.I hope you find joy and happiness in your journey.

[MsRenee]

Once you find the joy in your life its hard to replace it. Thats what Ive found in dressing. It puts me in a place were Im not here to impress anyone but myself. Most friends will say their ok with it but not realy so I distance my self from them cause their not true friends if you cant accept me as I present myself. So mu inner girl is having a blast with my smaller circle of friends. Be happy with yourself and the rest shall faal into place.
Renee

[Karren H]

Guess different people have different drivers for happiness and joy..... personally its what I do and who I'm with that make me happy.... not so much what I'm wearing while doing..... but that's just me......

[Tiffany Grace]

Yes it is joy and happiness its a joy to be what you want to be and happiness on how you feel about yourself.I hope you find joy and happiness in your journey.

Hello Jennifer, I wish you the same. The past is history and the future is a joyful mystery:)

[Tiffany Grace]

Hi Renee,

I like your outlook! Stay healthy with good friends and stay happy!

[suzy1]

To know yourself and live your life as you is the key to happiness Tiffany.
A lesson I took some time to learn myself.

I love your comment “it is wonderful to live my life with my feet firmly planted in 5' heels”

Have fun’

SUZY

[Tiffany Grace]

To know yourself and live your life as you is the key to happiness Tiffany.
A lesson I took some time to learn myself.

I love your comment “it is wonderful to live my life with my feet firmly planted in 5' heels”

Have fun’

SUZY

Hi Suzy, nice to hear from you. Yes that is a big word JOY and it is probably different for everyone else. I have been enjoying finding others who are on a similar walk of discovery.:)

"to learn myself" you hit it on the head. thanks:)

[Angela Campbell]

Someone told me long ago that it isn't things, or situations that bring on real happiness. You do that yourself. I know this sounds strange and even impossible but it is true. If you want to be happy, all you have to do is decide to be happy and tell yourself you are happy and you will be. It doesn't happen in a second it takes time and commitment but it does work. You are the key, not outside sources. Same with unhappiness, if you constantly tell yourself you are unhappy then you will be.

[docrobbysherry]

U can't be happy unless you've been sad. U can't feel extreme joy unless you've been very depressed.

Our happiness comes from ourselves by doing things, (and, they r different for everyone), that we r proud of. Things that may be difficult or challenging for us. Often, we don't know what brings us joy and happiness until AFTER the fact!

Kind of like Dorothy's quest. Trying every which way to get home. But, all she ever had to do was click her heels together to find her happiness!

So, Tiffany and EVERYONE; when you're walkin' around in your 5" heels, if that alone doesn't make u happy, try clicking them together! Or, maybe clicking across a marble dept. store or club dance floor will do?

[AnneB1nderful]

Tiffany,

I really respect your thoughtful response to Annaliese. You and I have much of the same outlook on faith. Hope to chat with you on that some time.

-Anne


Thank you Annaliese for your response. Though I cannot say I agree with you I do appreciate your thought provoking reply to my post. In my world view, the only one I aspire the term divinity to is God. Not to engage in semantics, but Divinity, in the theological definition, is aspired to someone who is not created but as God has no beginning and no end. Though my belief and outlook is different from yours I completely respect your right to your view as well as everyone else's view in this regard no matter how different. Unlike your position regarding peace, joy, and happiness, not lasting, I believe it will last today and forever because it is a gift and not something I work for. My journey to this place in my life is not based on my performance or the world's treatment etc., but on God's grace and love. Thank you for such an interesting post

[Valerie Louise]

I'll jump in.
For years I let my body go. I was a jock in school, but slowly deteriorated, even in the military. Last year, at 5'7" and 205 pounds, something clicked. I cannot explain it. However, I started yoga and began a reasonable change in lifestyle and diet. I also allowed myself to go back to dressing, far more often. I put aside unreasonable fears like, "what will happen if I'm in the hospital and someone finds my stuff at home?" I'm down to 161 now, far more flexible, and am driving for 150. I no longer have shooting pains down my leg from the lower disk problems in my back. I can flex my ankles, ever closer to that divine female beyond the straight angle in plantar flexion (omg i got a pair of pleaser 5" black and white seduce 425 pumps and wore them for hours yesterday ... omg omg omg).
And I feel really, really good, emotionally. I make better decisions at work. My mind is more clear.

I think the reason is obvious, now. By denying myself, the physical state of the body was unimportant. Once accepted what I am, and frankly gloried in it, then I reconnected with my physical self as something to take care of. For me, it has been, without a doubt, a step change. Yes, I can relate and can agree that once this happens, it may very well be that true happiness is achieved.

I'd also agree with Annaliese's central thesis that this may be fleeting, because some new calamity may arise. However, what is missing in that argument is that if you have not come to accept yourself, and you THEN have this calamity occur, things are far worse, eh? So, I'll take the happiness that comes with acceptance, and know that I'll get through new challenges easier because of knowing and accepting who I am.

I still have more to do ...

[Tiffany Grace]

I'll jump in.
For years I let my body go. I was a jock in school, but slowly deteriorated, even in the military. Last year, at 5'7" and 205 pounds, something clicked. I cannot explain it. However, I started yoga and began a reasonable change in lifestyle and diet. I also allowed myself to go back to dressing, far more often. I put aside unreasonable fears like, "what will happen if I'm in the hospital and someone finds my stuff at home?" I'm down to 161 now, far more flexible, and am driving for 150. I no longer have shooting pains down my leg from the lower disk problems in my back. I can flex my ankles, ever closer to that divine female beyond the straight angle in plantar flexion (omg i got a pair of pleaser 5" black and white seduce 425 pumps and wore them for hours yesterday ... omg omg omg).
And I feel really, really good, emotionally. I make better decisions at work. My mind is more clear.

I think the reason is obvious, now. By denying myself, the physical state of the body was unimportant. Once accepted what I am, and frankly gloried in it, then I reconnected with my physical self as something to take care of. For me, it has been, without a doubt, a step change. Yes, I can relate and can agree that once this happens, it may very well be that true happiness is achieved.

I'd also agree with Annaliese's central thesis that this may be fleeting, because some new calamity may arise. However, what is missing in that argument is that if you have not come to accept yourself, and you THEN have this calamity occur, things are far worse, eh? So, I'll take the happiness that comes with acceptance, and know that I'll get through new challenges easier because of knowing and accepting who I am.

I still have more to do ...

Excellent post Rikki, and inspiring. I can relate to how wonderful to gain strength from truth and realizations come what may. I like especially your thoughts on self acceptance.

I find I am extremely motivated for who and what I love. So it is great to be motivated!:thumbsup:

[Kate Simmons]

Happines comes from the strangest places sometimes. I'm much happier since being able to cut loose and enjoy being myself.:battingeyelashes::)

[Tiffany Grace]

Happines comes from the strangest places sometimes. I'm much happier since being able to cut loose and enjoy being myself.:battingeyelashes::)

I agree Kate, many many times, in the past, my failure of really seeing how blessed I am has left me with a happiness deficit. No more thank God.

[Annaliese2010]

Thank you Annaliese for your response. Though I cannot say I agree with you I do appreciate your thought provoking reply to my post. In my world view, the only one I aspire the term divinity to is God. Not to engage in semantics, but Divinity, in the theological definition, is aspired to someone who is not created but as God has no beginning and no end. Though my belief and outlook is different from yours I completely respect your right to your view as well as everyone else's view in this regard no matter how different. Unlike your position regarding peace, joy, and happiness, not lasting, I believe it will last today and forever because it is a gift and not something I work for. My journey to this place in my life is not based on my performance or the world's treatment etc., but on God's grace and love. Thank you for such an interesting post Hi Tiffany. You're so graceful, sweet and poised it's impossible to take exception to anything you've said. I wasn't trying to say that you're happiness is trivial or evanescent. In fact...when I think back I seem to remember being in a moody tude all day. That, more than anything else was where those thoughts were coming from. But now, as I reread what I wrote and your lovely words that follow, it's apparant to me that none of that is important next to the poetic innocence that is You.

-Liese xo :battingeyelashes:

[Leah Lynn]

When I finally stopped trying to be the man I was expected to be, the macho man, and accept myself for who I am, I found my inner peace.

[Tiffany Grace]

Hi Annaliese, nice to hear from you again. Thank you for your warm and kind reply.

[Diversity]

Tiffany, I could not agree with you more. I, too, am finding that I am coming to terms with the peace I feel being able to be me and not be the person others want me to be. This will not happen overnight, but it is indeed happening and I am finding that at my present age I am reflecting on the past and am determined to enjoy the remaining 50 or so years as 'me'. What is important to me now is the inner peace I feel.
All the best,
Di

[Tiffany Grace]

Hi Diversity,

Thanks for your lovely and wonderful response. Wishing you the very best on your beautiful journey of self acceptance, the most important key in my opinion.