starting crossdressing

[sarah1016]

Hello all, i want to start by saying what a great site this is. I am 26 years old and have tried on woman's clothes all my life. Mainly underwear and small things. I am currently engaged and my inner girl has become to strong to suppress. I want to dress all the way but how can i buy clothes and store them without my fiancee noticing. Any advice on where to go or how to get started would be appreciated. Thanks xoxoxo

[kimdl93]

You can't begin a marriage with this hidden from your fiancee. Please, do some research here on "how to tell your SO" and think through the conversation you will eventually need to have with your fiancee. Be truthful, open and non-defensive. Also make it clear that you're just beginning to learn about something that has been with you all your life.

[Ashley Lyn]

Absolutely tell her... No sense jumping into marriage with the 'dressing' thing hanging around..
Most likey, she will be supportive.. My wife saw nothing wrong with the issue..
When I presented her 'with the facts', she asked if I had anything she could wear...
We even dress together at times, tho' she is more of a Tomboy..

[Alberta_Pat]

You do really need to tell her before the wedding. It could save you a great deal of heartache in the future.

Think also of any children who could be upset by a disruption in their lives.

As to the shopping part of your question: Get out there, buy what you want. The stores are happy to have your money. :)

[Lorileah]

Vote number 4 for telling. Especially if the stress of engagement has you dressing, somewhere along the line during the marriage you will do it again. Best to get it out in the open now

[Jenniferathome]

It is hypocritical of me to write this, but tell her now. I, like many, married and hid this part of my life from my wife for 20+ years. It was unfair to her and in the end, caused unneeded stress for decades. At some point, you will be discovered or you will feel compelled to get it off your chest. Your wife will be shocked no matter what, but it is the "lie" that pisses them off the most. Sit down with her and tell, her.

[Daisy41]

While I didn't wait until 1.5 years after marriage, I can tell you from what I've seen here, what gets a lot of women is the secrets and lying revolved around crossdressing. Better her enter the marriage fully aware to avoid potential conflicts later on.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I will join the tell her crowd now, there is one common theme the majority of the members here always post is that is "I should have/I wish I told my wife before marraige." No matter how strong it is to do othewise resist that urge to try and keep it a secret.

[Gillian Gigs]

There is another post on the same subject read it also.

It is better to tell her now than risk her finding out later. Speaking to her in your timing gives you the chance to think things through properly and be prepared for any potential questions from her. This is a big thing and not something to take lightly, she needs to know about this side of you. Even if the worst happens, better for it to happen now, rather than later. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you will quit either, you might be able to, but if you can't, then you are back to square one all over again. Most of us here are experts at purging, only to go to same circuit all over again.

[sarah1016]

Thank you all for your advice, it won't be easy but I have some hard decisions, thankfully I found this group for support!

[Ashley Lyn]

Thinking that the 'urge' will go away, or that 'dressing' is just a passing fancy is not gonna' happen..
I had a girlfriend for a while who I thought wouldn't (knew actually) approve in any form.. and I was right...!
As adorable and exciting she was to me, I threw away my 'stash' for no good reason..
Soon as she left, I was out shopping... and I was happy again!!

[Michelle V]

I am 100% with Jennifer (Jen@home) some of us have been lucky to be accepted by our spouses but it was never fair to them to go into a relationship hiding such an important side of us, trust me it never goes away, if anything it grows stronger with time, if you truly love this girl you will be honest.

[Beverley Sims]

Before getting married, and to ensure a happy life, you have to consider your fiancee's feelings.
Unfortunately/fortunately as the case may be...
YOU MUST TELL HER.

[AmyGaleRT]

Sarah, the advice you're getting here, to tell her, is exactly the same advice I got from here a year ago. Even then, it's taken till just a couple of weeks ago for me to finally spill the beans...and it turned out so much better than I'd ever hoped, I think it's off the scale! My fiancee has turned out to be very accepting, very supportive, and very indulgent, even offering useful criticism and tips. She may be jealous that I look more feminine than she does :) , but she won't stop me from being Amy when I want to. You may find that your own fiancee is the same way...you may not think it could happen that way, but I'm here to tell you, in my case, it did!

Besides, unburdening yourself of the secret feels so good. My fiancee has noticed an increase in my confidence, both as Amy and in my "normal" male self.

- Amy

[ReineD]

You need to tell your fiancée. Here's another thread about this very topic:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?184335-Should-I-tell-my-Fiancee

You should also read this, it might help:

How To Tell Your Partner (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?13841-How-to-tell-your-partner&highlight=)