Your male counterpart???

[GinaM]

I'm curious how most of you are in your male persona. Are you feminine or are you a mans/man? I met some other CD's last night and the impression I got is that most of them are quite feminine in their male lives. I'm curious if this is pretty typical of CDers or if more of us are more rugged.

I for one am anything but feminine in my male role. Obviously there is nothing wrong with either way but just curious what you gals do in male mode.

[~Joanne~]

I am the same person in both modes of dress so I really don't know how big of a change between the two there is. When I went out dressed on the 30th, yes I tried walking more feminine and with a few other mannerisms but I never even tried to "disguise" my voice or to try and make it feminine at all.

When I am in drab I am surly a man.I don't think the way other men do, I don't judge others as some of my friends do, basically I skip all the macho crap, but I am surly presenting myself as myself then. My feminine side doesn't show unless you tackle me and take my shoes and socks off ;)

[Acastina]

Tricky question. How much of whatever degree of traditional masculinity we display is innate, and how much is simply a well developed coping behavior imposed on us by social conditioning? Another interesting aspect is change as we age: how much of the put-on role are we willing to let go of as the passage of time starts and continues to limit our options in life?

In my case, not much innate, and a whole lot of *sigh* conditioning. With age (mid-sixties now), letting go of a lot. Who cares that much about pretending for the sake of strangers' sensibilities?

[paulaprimo]

i've got to work hard to be paula, in guy mode i guess i'm a "mans man".
if i'm not gutting a deer, watching sports or chugging a beer, i guess i can be considered "girly" lol :)

[Jane G]

I think people see me as, the big friendly honest giant type, in my male life. I tend to just be me regardless of what I'm wearing, though working in a traditional male environment for 30+ years, my actions are continualy in check, while at work. Certainly that's contributed to a couple of nervous break downs over the years. (ho hum)

[Persephone]

Acastina summed a lot of it up pretty well.

And as time goes by, I become less sure of just what it is to be either "manly" or "womanly." They may just be a list of social expectations. We all know men who can dance (see an old Fred Astaire movie) and women who can shoot and guzzle beer.

But I did find an old friend's comment about me to be interesting. She was talking to another mutual friend and said, "He was such a man's man and she's such a woman."

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Eryn]

I think that my male persona has changed somewhat since I learned more about my female side. Quite a lot less of the false bravado that I was using to cover up the perceived gaps in my maleness. More of the "confident masculinity" that comes from not being afraid of how I am perceived by others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9db4o8c5X0I

After all, I regularly go in public wearing a dress. How many of those "manly men" would have the confidence to do that! :)

[Doctor Seven]

People in my family have compared me to Leonard from the Big Bang Theory. I recall him getting a mani-pedi in one episode, after which he offered a quick "men get them too!"

[RADER]

I guess my 40+ years of being a Carpenter Foreman, Always giving orders,
Having the ability to hire and fire, As made me a Man's Man.
But My wife says that I have a softer side when needed. I do not leave
the closet dressed, so I am not sure how that would play out; Me being dressed,
and putting on a female persona.
Rader

[paddy]

Pretty much masculine in both modes. As me, I work on my cars, ride my Harley and take on almost any DIY project (not saying a girl wouldn't do the exact same things). The other me is just me in women's clothes with a mustache! One night I will hop on the Harley for a ride wearing the clothes in my profile pic, but will have to practice stopping with platform boots on first!

[NathalieX66]

I think that my male persona has changed somewhat since I learned more about my female side. Quite a lot less of the false bravado that I was using to cover up the perceived gaps in my maleness. More of the "confident masculinity" that comes from not being afraid of how I am perceived by others.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9db4o8c5X0I

After all, I regularly go in public wearing a dress. How many of those "manly men" would have the confidence to do that! :)

Eryn, you got my vote. :thumbsup:

Confindence in yourself is rule number one. The trick is to stop thinking "are they looking at me?.....do I pass? .....do I look like a weirdo?" and just live your life and enjoy it.

As for the original post, I am simply me. I have made a bit of effort in the last two or three years to being either gender. I love it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, I even wear dresses in public every now and then. Got questions? PM me if you like.

[Brittany CD]

I'm not feminine at all in male mode. I'm basically a typical man's man

[Marlana]

I used to be a manly man. I still cut the lawn, kill mice, and hang with my co-workers for happy hour. However, I seem to have fet some pink fog linger in my brain and now I look at what women wear and point it out to my wife and vice versa. I think differently now. I try to walk with my shoulders back and a little less waddily and sit up straight of course.

[ArleneRaquel]

In either mood I'm somewhat feminine, I gesture, with my hands & arms, quite a lot.

[I Am Paula]

I do alot of structural home renos, build garden retaining walls, very precise with a chain saw. And I do it all in pink construction boots and boobs. Couldn't be manly man for money. Good thread tho'.
FYI- Pink steel toe construction boots to size 11 at Mark's Work Warehouse. No point being drab just 'cause you're pouring concrete.-Celeste

[STACY B]

That all depends on if I am Trying to get a Point across or not ,,No sense in not useing what you have while you still got it ,,,One day it will no longer be available an then I will miss it for sure ,,,But I still got my Bull Dog ,,,LOL,,,

[Emma Leigh]

I,ve never been a mans man........always found most mens attitude to everything intolerable....I also work on cars and ride motorcycles....but so does my ex-wife

[Diversity]

Hi Gina,
I am a mans/man in my male role. I love the outdoors, swimming, boating, sports, motorcycles, etc... I also enjoy being a good husband/father and being 'Mr. Fix-It' around the house. However, I do find that while I am in my male role, I am constantly thinking about being en femme and buying and wearing feminine clothes. Just can't seem to stop thinking about being dressed 'en femme'.
Di

[Daisy41]

I'm not really a "man's man" in my male role. I've always had feminine tendencies. Though, I'm infinitely more confident about my masculinity as it stands out from my femininity.

[AmyGaleRT]

In male mode I come across as "Generic Geek #42." The only real femme "tell" I have is my long hair, which I keep in a ponytail in that mode. That's not an uncommon thing, and if anyone asks, I say, "My fiancee likes it." (She does!)

But take out the ponytail holder and brush it to a center part instead of left, voila! Instant Amy hairstyle. :) I may see if I can get it trimmed to look better in this mode (after it grows out a bit more), as brushing it back to my normal ponytail will cover up any femme styling details. (Perhaps I'll find a new hair salon and go there as Amy...)

- Amy

[Angela Campbell]

In male mode I have a very male job and play the part very well. I am a bit of a loner though because I really never fit in with the boys growing up. I did learn how tofool everyone into thinking I was a male though.

[AKKaren]

:battingeyelashes:I have spent my whole life being a Man...supporting my family, being a father, doing a very manly job, but at all times in my mind there was and still is this voice saying "It's all a lie!" There isn't an hour or day that my femme side doesn't want out.

[Jamie001]

I don't have a "male counterpart". I am simply a feminine male and therefore I really don't switch modes except when I'm at work I wear clothing that is somewhat less feminine. My personality remains the same.

[Vanessa Amber420]

While in guy mode, I'm a guy and no one would suspect I have a feminine side to me.

[Julie Denier]

Hi Gina,
I am a mans/man in my male role. I love the outdoors, swimming, boating, sports, motorcycles, etc... I also enjoy being a good husband/father and being 'Mr. Fix-It' around the house. However, I do find that while I am in my male role, I am constantly thinking about being en femme and buying and wearing feminine clothes. Just can't seem to stop thinking about being dressed 'en femme'.
Di

This is pretty much me, too.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Not a ? i can answer as i dont know what a real man / male is, i know a little about men nothing i can apply in the way you are thinking,

The best i can do is say Jos recived from me what she needed so we could have our children, would have been four . we do have three grown up adults,

I never funchoned as a male, or this mans man. When your different you see things in another way. there was no role for me i just did things wether they were asigned to women or men. i saw no difference,

As to being Feminine again no answer. im just a woman,,

i have probs trying to answer ? 's like this i rather others do that. At least it gets me off the hook,... maybe,

At our Renaissance get to gethers there are some big strong men that can beat each other in the ring doing combat & what i see is they have to be because of the weight of the gear they wear, like the helmet , i picked one up. & thought thats a dead weight, not including the other gear, & theres no way i could wear any of that.

Now i thought i was strong oh dear, not like that. im just not like them at all..Im an Archer, would that count, pulling strain is 25 lb to 75 lb my range is 35 lb, & pretty well hit the guys or targets,& they dress just for us,

well thats the best i can do.

...noeleena...

[Moxie]

I find this a fascinating question with some interesting responses.

I am confused though, how those of you who are 'manly men' (like my husband) balance these two personas. Isn't this confusing?

And how is this different from someone with a split personality? (I'm not being offensive here either -I'm genuinely intrigued).

[Anita_2]

Well that is only my opinion about myself. I think in basic I am women fetish orientation – because I am always feeling like a man but when I am dressed I feel nice to have some women dress on me special if it is lingeries tights stockings than I can accept of my wife to talk to me in women mode but I dont feel realy as a women.

[Rogina B]

Some of us DO have split personalities...in order to make it work in each gender..The world's expectations of Rogina or Roger do vary..I play it as I need to.However,I "try not to" beat myself up at work as Roger so as to leave lasting,cuts,burns,stains,injuries that are difficult for Rogina..lolIn Roger's work world,everything is dirty,heavy,cold,hot,wet,slimy,stinky,dangerous,et c..Is dealing with it considered manly?
I find this a fascinating question with some interesting responses.

I am confused though, how those of you who are 'manly men' (like my husband) balance these two personas. Isn't this confusing?

And how is this different from someone with a split personality? (I'm not being offensive here either -I'm genuinely intrigued).

[GinaM]

I find this a fascinating question with some interesting responses.

I am confused though, how those of you who are 'manly men' (like my husband) balance these two personas. Isn't this confusing?

And how is this different from someone with a split personality? (I'm not being offensive here either -I'm genuinely intrigued).

I honestly not feminine really at all. I think dressing for me is trying to create the perfect woman. I LOVE LOVE LOVE when my wife dresses a certain way but she almost never does. That said, I'm able to wear what I wish she would and that for me is a huge reason why I dress. When she wears sexy clothing if we go out then after my desire to dress is lower. I'm prob. one of the minorities here though as I think most people here wish they were women. I'm glad that I'm a man but like to pretend I'm a woman once in a while.

[NicoleScott]

I met some other CD's last night and the impression I got is that most of them are quite feminine in their male lives.

I don't know about "most". Like many others, I'm a guy who likes to dress up occasionally. In guy mode, which is most of the time, I'm not super-macho, just a normal guy, husband, father, handyman, hunter, fisherman, yard-mower, trash-taker-outer, etc.

[MeganHenry]

Eryn, you got my vote. :thumbsup:

Confindence in yourself is rule number one. The trick is to stop thinking "are they looking at me?.....do I pass? .....do I look like a weirdo?" and just live your life and enjoy it.

As for the original post, I am simply me. I have made a bit of effort in the last two or three years to being either gender. I love it, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, I even wear dresses in public every now and then. Got questions? PM me if you like.

I second this! Great points girls! By the way Nathalie, love your pics...

[Michelle 2]

I am one who believes that actions always speak louder than words. When I was younger I did all the masculine things like football, chasing girls, riding motorcycles and such and still understanding and developing a strong feminine personna from when I was five years old. I cannot say I undersood it all at that age I just knew I was a little different from regular guys and accepted it in my own way. Growing up was interesting from boy to young man to mature man and all the rights and reponsibilities that go with it as seen by society. It was also interestering going through the phases of young girl to teenage girl to young woman now mature woman. I was actually jealous when the girls my age started to physicly change when there hormones kicked in by their teen years and I was never going to experience that change.

I also was never a macho manly type because those types always seemed to me to be crude and rude. As I have gotten older and learned so much through the years I have found my feminine personality to be so much more compassianate and embracing than my masculine side. It takes a very special kind of person to be open minded enough to be able to see life from both the male and female sides of life as many of my sisters here have accomplished. I think this is a very important aspect to why we are or have become CD's.

Being a CD in my opinion is not a hobby but a lifestyle for better or worse that has been thrusted upon each of us for whatever reason. From my point of view it is a blessing, it certainly has made me a better human being and bottom line thats all that counts. It takes a strong man to feel comfortable wearing a skirt and heels!

Michelle

[MeganHenry]

For me...I can play both roles mans man or woman. In some aspects I have found a middle ground so to speak. In my work world Im around architecture, design, construction and the sorts. I love design, colors, fabrics and so on. My business partner jokes that I have a small bit of gay man in me, good thing we have been friends for years and years. My wife will ask my opinion on clothes and how she dresses. I love to dress up and be pretty, sexy, embrace color and when I do my confidence is high. I tried to play into that macho bullcrap before and it's just not me, I know myself far to well. However I stil like to camp, hike, and do things outdoors. I've never been a team sports person, I prefer individual challenges and sports. I guess I'm middle of the road when I have to be a man.

[Beverley Sims]

A mans man but a little softer, thoughtful and considerate I think.
I show more emotion than most men so I do have to be careful when defending women's points of view.

[ChelseaErtel]

I have never been a "Man's man". But never very effeminate, but just a little in my hands. I've always put my hands in my pockets, or crossed my arms, or sat on my hands to keep them down.

Since I have come out to my wife that I'm TS, I have noticed that I have started to make feminine gestures, crossed my legs in a feminine way etc. more and more. I have to stop myself in man mode. Limp wrist is the worst, it's like a muscle broke after I told her. So, until I'm 100% I have to watch those things but I'm not trying too hard as it doesn't really matter.

[Jennifer Devine]

I wouldnt really say i was a man's man as such. I like playing football, swimming, badminton, xbox 360 and karaoke singing.
I dont think people really think of me as a real manly man anyway as a lot of the time i have been asked whether i am gay or not as i do act a bit camp sometimes and some people i know where i live and at work know about me dressing as a woman. I am not gay as i love women both real and transgendered but then again as a woman i have always wondered what it would be like to be treated like a lady by a man.

[CaraDawson]

I'm just "one of the guys" when in male mode, I try to be strong and protective of those close to me.

[GinaD]

In my day to day, I don't think I exhibit any female traits at all. I have even been described as a "man's man". When dressed, I enjoy being as female as I can be. Sexually, I can assume either role depending on who my partner is. This is the great paradox I experience in my life. It's as if I can totally be two different people at will. Frankly, sometimes it just doesn't make sense to me.

[joan47]

When I am in male mode I am always wearing grils clothes (jeans,leggings,yoga pants, under dress, thin arched waxed eyebroiws, long arylic nails, ear rings, I feel feminine all the time so I try to dress and act feminine all the time. I prefer the company of women and am not into sports.

[Ceri Anne]

My CDing is a means to express both sides of my personality. I have always had both masculine and feminie qualities. Even in man mode, I enjoy the quality of fabrics in clothing, the colors in decorating, but I can dress in my leather jacket and spend the day riding motorcycle (have done in fem mode too) or even replacing the breaks on the car, hunting, shooting, building. And as a man I enjoy ballroom and other types of dancing. So I'm always a mix, but a bit more manly in man mode and vice versa.

[Maureen]

Man's man all the way. It is an act I created to survive my childhood. I am the typically over compensating macho guy doing it to hide my secret self. If I were a real "man", I would have the guts to come out and live the way I want. I have taken some babysteps in that direction, but if I had real courage, I would be out and proud evey day.

[kendra_gurl]

I find this a fascinating question with some interesting responses.

I am confused though, how those of you who are 'manly men' (like my husband) balance these two personas. Isn't this confusing?

And how is this different from someone with a split personality? (I'm not being offensive here either -I'm genuinely intrigued).

I have always just been a typical normal man by most standards. Always comfortable with all my male friends doing the macho stuff guys do.

DoorMat as for how I balance I don't think that is the correct term for what I do.
When I transform into kendra I also become the female character I portray. I would feel rather foolish and certainly not pass very well enfemme while still acting all macho with my actions and mannerisms.

GinaM. were the CD's you met all presenting as female when you met them. That may explain why you got the impression they were feminine in male mode too

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I guess I'm a different case because when I "came out" I sort of merged my "male" and "female" personae into one person, and that's just who I always am, but I was never the most masculine behaving man to begin with. I guess about the only really dripping with testosterone thing I enjoy are action movies and violent video games but I know plenty of girls into those as well.

[natalie1990]

For me its hard to be a "mans man" when you weight 120 lbs, but I do deepen my southern accent a lot, and I make sure to wear clothes that give no indication that a woman could wear them.

[Laura28]

When i am dressed as a man i am a man, i enjoy all that being a man is about. However when i am dressed as a woman i want to be a full woman. I do undersress most days but still feel manly becuase of the outer trapings, however i also know that underneath i am in touch with my softer side.

[MssHyde]

Tricky question. How much of whatever degree of traditional masculinity we display is innate, and how much is simply a well developed coping behavior imposed on us by social conditioning? Another interesting aspect is change as we age: how much of the put-on role are we willing to let go of as the passage of time starts and continues to limit our options in life?

In my case, not much innate, and a whole lot of *sigh* conditioning. With age (mid-sixties now), letting go of a lot. Who cares that much about pretending for the sake of strangers' sensibilities?

great mind! looks like you put it to good use on yourself too.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gina, Aside from clear nail polish 24/7 I'm a mans man when Orchid is nowhere around.

[Jamie001]

It is very difficult for me to understand how the majority of crossdressers on this site flip back and forth between a masculine and a feminine personality. The reason that this behavior is difficult for me to understand is because I don't flip back and forth. I'm simply a feminine male that is sometimes more feminine than other times, but I am always feminine. I have never had a masculine side that I really could embrace. When I tried to create a masculine persona, it led me to panic attacks, tranquilizer drug abuse, and eventually severe depression so I stopped trying to be something that I never could be.

I believe that there are several other feminine males on this site (JaneGirls), however we are really in the minority.

Jamie

[MssHyde]

I think I change with the clothing, when dressed I set into the car butt first. keep my one hand off the table. primp a lot.
touch up my lipstick etc. its like a flip of my switch.

I had a lady tell me I walk better then a lot of women when I'm in high heels. I have no Idea if my walk is feminine or not.
if my hips move or not. (I tend to think they do) I wear hip and butt padding with glue on breasts. I take hours to get ready maybe it all adds to the flip of the switch. I always glue on long nails too. I cheat in every way I can, to look the part.

In guy mode I try to keep my skin lubed and hands clean, for the other mode.

[bobbimo]

Gina,
For me it all depends on what I'm doing. If I'm working on the car, cutting fire wood, plowing the garden, then the male does what he has to do.
All other jobs, and general day to day living, are done gently, and with femininity. And If I can do them dressed up then life is perfect.
Bobbi

[linda allen]

I'm curious how most of you are in your male persona. Are you feminine or are you a mans/man? I met some other CD's last night and the impression I got is that most of them are quite feminine in their male lives. I'm curious if this is pretty typical of CDers or if more of us are more rugged.

I for one am anything but feminine in my male role. Obviously there is nothing wrong with either way but just curious what you gals do in male mode.

"Mans/man" ? You've got to define that term.

I might be viewed as more feminine than I used to be because I now shop with my wife for clothes, groceries, etc. and I go to lunch with her and her girlfriends, but I still love my tools and building or repairing things.

I never was the beer drinking guy wearing a wife beater T shirt and hanging around a bar with his buddies.

[kendra_gurl]

It is very difficult for me to understand how the majority of crossdressers on this site flip back and forth between a masculine and a feminine personality.

I believe that there are several other feminine males on this site (JaneGirls), however we are really in the minority.

Jamie

Jamie you are simply at a different place in that very broad umbrella term of transgendered so many have labeled us with.

What makes me be able to flip as you call it is that untill I start transforming my appearance into Kendra I do not have feminine thoughts or actions.

Several here have been chastised for uttering the word Hobby. For me I used to play Golf 3 times a week when I was younger and I obsessed a lot more about my game, spent way more money, and was way more upset when I could not play than I have ever been about crossdressing.

As with a lot of things in life, the more I was able to play I gradually needed to play less often and its now that way with crossdressing.

Laura
Years ago before I fully transformed myself I tried the underdressing on occasion. While it was exciting for the first hour or so it was just not me but I sure see where for some it is a very usefull outlet for them to satisfy their need for expression

[GinaM]

I'm with you Kendra. For me it is definitely a hobby and not my lifestyle. So many people here want to transition and live as a female. I have no desire at all to do this and wouldn't even consider it ever. Not that there is anything at all about this but talking with a few of the people I met last weekend they are thinking about transitioning and one actually did.

[suchacutie]

Not sure how to define a "man's man" carefully, but my gendered selves are very separate. There is no doubt that those who interact with my male mode have no clue about Tina. "He" enjoys being husband, father, problem solver, dragon slayer, and all the rest that goes with being a guy in a relationship. If anything, there was some confusion before we understood Tina so now it's easier to make the separation! I'm now aware of what and who Tina is, and sometimes her qualities are useful in male mode, but it's still male mode. Example: Tina is rediculously fastidious, whereas my male self just goes with the flow. However, sometimes my office just has to be tidied, so I channel Tina and do it!.

I just love being able to switch back and forth. I love the differences and both of my gendered selves!

[ABBY_L]

Interesting threads and I totally relate to many of the thoughts expressed. I too, find that I love my guy things, hunting, building, working on the vehicles and boat and would not want to give any of that up. However, I truly have a need to be feminine and find I relate to women in many more ways than I do to men. I would say I have more good women friends, than I do men, that's not to say I don't enjoy my men friends, however. I enjoy visiting with them and I'm fascinated by their clothing choices and makeup and hair. I wouldn't consider myself macho since I have fairly fine features and I'm slight of build which, if I do say, enables me to present quite passably when "pretty". I definitely accentuate my feminine mannerisms when dressed and totally enjoy my time "en femme" and very reluctantly return to drab. I often wish I could just experience the total package of being female for a period of time, but that said, I totally enjoy my maleness, as well.

[Chickhe]

I think before I accepted myself, I tried to fit in to the role I thought other people wanted to see, now I just do what I'm comfortable with. Sometimes it is required to put on a certain face. For instance, kids think its think its hilarious when their Dad passes loud gas, something few women do... I'll do some things to get a laugh, but I draw the line at disrespect and quickly grow tired when a friend starts beating their hairy chest in male self affirmation. Mostly, I do what I do because I enjoy it...not because it makes me more manly or womenly.

[VickiTheGamer]

I find when in Male mode, I am a man. I admire my male attributes (other than the um...maleness down there). I like being as strong and rough as I have become. Strength is an awesome feature of being male. When I dress as a women, I find I like being more petite and soft. I like behaving more feminine. I only wish it didn't have to be such a secret (not ready to turn my life inside out, nor that of those I love like my Girl Friend). I would LOVE to try out life without a (very) harry body and go out in public looking (and feeling) like a women. Now that would be awesome. Being as Male as I want when I want, AND being as feminine as I want when ever I want. OMG. Talk about an awesome life.

[SarahMarie42]

In male mode, I tend to dislike everything but my intellect and my sense of humor. I often try to soften my appearance by wearing "boyish" rather than "mannish" articles of clothing. I rarely exceed a somewhat less femme lesbian's level of masculinity. Seeing some of the less feminine elements of my face intrude into my feminine presentation frustrates, angers, and discourages me. I do enjoy that some amount of bravado and aggression is acceptable as a male, I suppose, but I otherwise dislike it.

I know that's rather list-like and fragmented, but my attention is currently divided. Lol

[Amanda M]

Well Gina - you made me think!. I find the whole macho thing unpleasant. The I can drink more than, you, knock you down if I want to sort of culture ( now there's a misuse of a word) is frankly stupid. I have been in the military, but as a medic, so there wasn't much macho there.

I think I'm just a gentle man, really.