Got caught wearing a bra

[lucy two]

Last week I was seen putting on my bar whilst at work,now that the other drivers have found out that I wear a bra I have a couple of options open to me first to be up front or totally deny it. Either way I will get a lot of problems, I do not see any advantage by admitting it and carrying on as I do now, by denying it the downside is I will not be able to wear any feminine clothing for some time. I'm still undecided on what to do, I'm thinking of denying everything and wait and see what happens. Are there any other options open to me.

[Amy A]

When you talk about denying everything, do you mean going so far as so suggest that whoever saw you putting on the bra is lying? Was it just one person who proceeded to tell the rest or did a few people see it?

The thing is, I'm not sure what explanation or denial you could give that would resolve matters. If you'd been caught wearing just women's undies there might have been a way of explaining it away, but a bra clearly signals that you crossdress. It seems like the cat is out of the bag, but I think your first priority is to safeguard your job. Do management know about this? If they do it's them that I would talk to first, and I personally would be inclined to be honest at this stage.

What's the general reaction been like so far?

[lucy two]

There was only one person who saw me and he does not work the same company so it is his word against mine, I don't know if management and heard yet my job is safe or should be as they cannot dismiss me under the discrimination laws as this does not interfere with my job at all, I was planning on going into management first thing Monday morning and telling the truth but I'm not sure if that would be the right move, I was planning on saying that it was a surgical back support. The other option is to just say (so what) I'm a cross dresser deal with it and then leave it at that. But that option will bring a lot of verbal abuse that I can live with as let's face it names don't hurt.

[AmyGaleRT]

Lucy, I don't think I would say anything to your management at this point. No sense in drawing attention to yourself when you're not even sure that anyone will have a problem.

Meantime, just duck all snoopy questions by either ignoring them or by calling attention to the questioner's poor manners (and they really are poor manners, it's none of their business anyway). If you don't give it any attention, it has a good chance of just blowing over.

And be careful with where you dress at work in future. :)

- Amy

[Alberta_Pat]

I too would keep mum about this. If anything is ever said, and I don''t think there will be, you may make your comments then.

There is no rule that says you must wear specific undergarments is there?

[BRANDYJ]

I would not say a word to anyone at work about it, let alone management! You are very wrong thinking you are protected under discrimination laws. If a manager is uneducated on crossdressing issues and thinks it's disgusting, wrong, or a mental illness, he can and will find OTHER reasons to get rid of you. So if you value your job, don't say a word.
IF it comes up then you can think of a good lie to quiet the rumors. Like maybe you lost a bet with your wife or girlfriend and had to wear the thing for a day at work. Anythink but the truth in this case. But my guess is that the guy that saw you won't say a word to any of your co-workers since he does not work there.

[Shari]

I take it this guy has already flapped his jaws. You said other drivers have found out.
There's a lot of information missing but my first thoughts are to simply let it go. Time will make it slowly disappear.

To advise you any further, we need to know the answers to the following questions:
How long ago did this happen? How many drivers know? How much flak have you received?

If you fear for your job, that's the only thing that would justify you taking up management's time.

[Kaz]

Yeah... I am in the 'keep quiet' crowd... if anyone mentions it just look confused and shrug it off... most likely it will go away. But if you think people will be watching you, I would play safe for a while :)

[Mollyanne]

Well, you could say that you lost a bet with your wife and you had to wear the bra for the day. Maybe a little lame but it just might work!!!!! "Break a leg"

Molly

[Sara Jessica]

Well that's not bad, you have outed yourself barely three months after joining these pages. Well done, I've seen faster though.

Seriously, your first post in these pages talks about separation between work & this thing of yours and yet you have subsequently voluntarily outed yourself to at least one coworker, wear clear polish on your fingernails, your ears are pierced (on a "lost bet") and have now been caught wearing a bra. I take it you were changing into a uniform or something but either way, it kind of seems like you've been asking for it...or as some might put it, you have had a desire to get caught.

Anyone who wears a bra to work and is not prepared to own it when comes to detection has no business doing so unless they dress with so many layers of dude clothes that detection would be virtually impossible (and if that's the case, what's the point in wearing the bra in the first place?).

It seems you are out there enough that denial will not be seen as plausible.

[Amy A]

Just one person from a rival company is quite a different set of circumstances, you imply that lots of other drivers know but its hard to offer much advice when we don't know the full situation. My previous comment about talking to management was based on the proviso that they DID know and it had been seen by your colleagues, and as you aren't sure what they know, and no-one in your company has witnessed this, then the best bet is to stop wearing women's cloths to work for a bit and let it all blow over.

Hope it all works out for you anyway. :)

[Jana]

Lucy, let's get things straight:

1. Where does it say that drivers wearing whatever clothing they choose need to self-report, or blow the whistle on others? Personally, I'd try go with the flow and see what happens. Both of your alternatives seem a little extreme; to imply the other guy is lying is bad, and to draw all the attention to yourself is also bad. Just do nothing at this point and see where this goes.
2. Why do you have to stop wearing feminine clothing? Can't you wear underwear? Pantyhose? Jeans? Shirts?

[Beverley Sims]

If anything comes up I would say that I had sensitive nipples rubbing on my shirt and this was painful.
It was suggested I wore something as a chest protector to stop rubbing on my nipples.
I used a flat bra to hold the dressings on my nipples. A flat bra? Sounds good to me.
Big fat lie but it may confuse the hell out of them. :)

[I Am Paula]

I can't see why management would have a problem. Unfortunately in the RW, we can't predict how they might respond. I would say nothing. If the issue does come up, my response would be,'I sometimes wear a bra for my own reasons'. No explanation. The 'I lost a bet' , hasn't worked since Caine caught Able trying on his mothers fig leaf. I think the reactions of your co-workers might be a tougher personal dilemma. Why were you putting on a bra at work? I can see wearing one, but it ought to stay put. Best of luck-Celeste

[Angela Campbell]

I hope at least it was a pretty bra. Us girls have to keep up our image you know!

[JennyLynn]

I would just play dumb, it will probably blow over. Who knows, maybe the snoop will come out to you! :-)

[MsRenee]

It realy isnt anyones business thefe what you were under your clothes. I bet there is probably alot of others there that wear panties also. It be best just to keep it hush hush and go on your regular routine hun.
Renee

[JennyLynn]

If you really want to cover your bases, go buy yourself a surgical back support bra. Keep it handy so if management or others call you on it, you can take it out and show them. Wouldn't that shut them up! :-)

[JennyLynn]

A man wearing womens clothes....who ever heard of such a thing!! Hee hee

[~Joanne~]

I am with the girls that said "keep quiet". there is no need for you to go running to management first thing monday morning and say "I wear bras" or that you are a crossdresser. From the sounds of things, you don't even know if the person that saw you actually has said anything about it so there is no need to confirm it.

Beverley gave you a good excuse with "If anything comes up I would say that I had sensitive nipples rubbing on my shirt and this was painful." . If you are a larger girl, another could be that the doctor suggested it as to support your back. Some men really do wear bras for such a purpose.

I would go with just waiting though to see what happens or what was said first and foremost.

[STACY B]

BRA ?? OHHHHHHH YEA ,,,, I always wear them first when the wife buys new ones ,,Yep,,,Yep,,, Kinda strange huh ? Yea she can't wear them brand new ,,, Some kind of strange condition she has about new clothes ,,, Dam shoes it what really kills me ,,She has been to the Doctor for it ,,I just do it to make her happy ,,You know how it is ?? She said it's some kind of tradition over where she is from ? You can't go by those crazy folk ,,She from ___________ Fill in the blank ,,,,, LOL,,,, Hey ,,, Just thinking for yaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!

[TxCassie]

I cannot see why it would be anyone business, least alone an employer what an employee wears as undergarments. I would not mention it to anyone, least, your employer. Do you really need to tell your boss what type of underwear you wear, PLEASE! If they come to you, I would say, my undergarments are not open for discussion by anyone at the workplace and you find the question offensive. Period. I think any employer with any sense will recognize being the undergarment police is something they really don't desire. As far as your co-workers, same standard. On the other side, I would think you don't go around parading yourself in your undergarments, even if you're talking about a locker-room situation. Discretion is always the better part of valor, something even a crossdressers can benefit.

Hope it works out for you dear.

Cassie

[Angela Campbell]

Just wondering....How in the world did someone see you putting on a bra at work anyhow?

[lingerieLiz]

The other driver might want to wear one too.

[Cindy_Act]

So, if you're so concerned about being caught....why were you putting on a bra at work...? Perplexing indeed.

[Noel Chimes]

Lucy, there's an old saying, " shiznit don't stink until you mess with it".

[lucy two]

Thank you for all the advice so far nothing has been said to me directly by any of the drivers although our HR manager did call being on Thursday late and asked me what was going on not quite as bluntly as that luckily my back and shoulder support turned up that morning and I had in my lorry ready to show. So for the few ladies that said basically it was my own fault and I was wanting to be caught you were totally wrong yes I was moving forward I realise now I was moving forward way too fast so I pulled everything back and Lucy will not be allowed anywhere near my lorry, I've also told the one person at work that new about me that I have disposed of all my clothing jewellery and shoes to the charity shop and my make up underwear and everything else was taken to the rubbish tip so she now believes that I've stopped as I said to her that I could not allow this to happen again. I think the problem was not having anyone to speak to face-to-face so I will now try to work out the best way for me to move forward. So once again thank you to everyone who gave me advice.

[Ally 2112]

Just call it the Bro !! lol :)

[Jessicaa]

To be honest its really not a big deal, Just say that it was an Upper back supporter they look alot like bras. i know people who go to the gym i work at who wear them all the time.


http://www.drugsupplystore.com/servlet/the-1/Posture-Perfect-Band-Back/Detail#.UK2Ly4Y_ffc

Proof^

[Amy R Lynn]

I have to agree, I wouldn't say a word unless someone else does. Then you can decide if you want to just deny it, make up something, or just own it. If you own it though, the cat will definitely be out the bag. Not sure if you are ready for that though.

[Chickhe]

Don't even answer to anyone... Just ask questions instead. Like, I wonder why does the other person think that?... Why are they making up stuff? Why are they spreading rumors? Why are you asking me such odd questions? Basically, you want to provide no information while at the same time get people questioning the person who is causing the disturbance... put the people asking the offensive questions on the defensive.

[lucy two]

It's been almost 2 weeks now and still no one has said a single word to me about this, nothing has changed and I know there are at least six drivers who would definitely say something to me but still nothing. I am now beginning to wonder if the person who saw me told next driver there, and that driver just happened to be the one person who knew about me, if that was the case that would explain why no one else has said anything so far, the bit I don't understand is why she would say that one of the office workers told her that I was seen. The only theory I can come up with is that she wanted me to stop and didn't know how to tell me, that would also explain when I told her that I'd got read of all my clothing to the charity shop the previous evening and that everything else would be going to the rubbish tip on the Sunday morning she didn't say a word when I said that to her, the one thing that confuses me is I did say to her if she wanted to say something to me you don't need to be polite just tell me. Although the reason I told her that everything was gone was so she would think that I have stopped, I really do hope that I am wrong about this if I am not then I've learned a very valuable lesson (keep my mouth shut), the annoying part of it was I was beginning to think how could I come out. Now that I've had a couple of weeks to think about this I was definitely moving forward way too fast I need to slow down and take my time, if only I'd realised earlier I could have saved myself all this trouble but I will learn from this if only to be more careful in future.

[GingerLeigh]

Go to management ONLY if there is any harassment involved (and I highly recommend that). After being harassed horribly for some time I finally got the courage to go to management and tell them a little about what was going on. The harassment stopped and I became more comfortable in my own skin at work, even though some of my co-worker's tongues wag today (they mistakenly think I'm homosexual, but I don't really care). I can brush it off or even throw it back at the mouthier ones and it no longer bothers me.

Not to scare you, but people don't tend to forget about this type of thing and the rumour may extend past the workplace. Try not to panic. Be calm and try to be at peace with being a little out. No matter how careful you may be, our crossdressing activities tend to get out eventually. Like so many of us, you've just been thrust into the spotlight. Most of us are surviving or even thriving so don't worry about it. Phhhhhlllbh.....It's just a bra!